Mr. Non-Juan
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2005
- Messages
- 87
- Reaction score
- 3
The NON-JUAN Mailbag: Answering Relationship Questions, Non-Juan Style!
----------------
Greetings, people!! My name is Mr. Non-Juan!
You may not believe this, but from time to time people send me messages asking me relationship questions. SO, from time to time I like to answer these questions and post them!!
OH yeah - check out my NEW website: www.nonjuanworld.blogspot.com!
And now, onto the question of the day:
-------------------
SHOULD I KISS HER?
I always encourage you guys to write me if you have relationship questions. Well, somebody did! Today's question comes from a guy who had concerns about a girl he recently asked out. In the spirit of... well, not getting sued, only his initials will be used...
DEAR Mr. NON-JUAN:
I have a current situation with a girl. We have been friends for months, and when I asked her out, she said yes, but I feel that she has reservations. Even though, when I ran my date ideas past her she said she wanted to do all of them.
She has invited me over to bake cookies for her work bake swap today and I’m really nervous because I think she is going to tell me that she doesn’t actually want to go out, In which case I’m going to really be hurt. I liked being her friend and I can’t be friends with someone who is not straightforward. So far I haven’t let her know how much I like her other than asking her out on a date; I haven’t even called much.
Do you have any advice? Should I move in for the kiss to find out if she is really interested?
-D.W.
Hi D.W.:
Thanks for your question! Before I answer, remember: my job is to give you advice that will help you LOSE a girl. With that said...
First off, I can't believe you asked her out! That is NOT something a Non-Juan would do. In the future, I'd recommend waiting until the girl ask YOU out - that way, it'll show her that you don't have the allzbeys to step up to her as a man and be the leading force in the relationship! :nono:
But do not fret - you can still screw up your chances with this girl if you want to! You've already started a little bit by asking this girl if your dating ideas were okay - not being spontaneous is a great trait for a Non-Juan to have, as it shows a girl you're not confident about picking activities without her approval! :cheer:
Another thing you're doing is pre-determining what kind of conversation she is going to have with you. Excellent! As some great philosopher once said, "As a man thinketh, so shall it be!" By allowing your brain to assume that this girl is going to reject you, your body will go foward with the motions that will lead you the outcome that YOU predicted for yourself!
Lastly, if you really want to mess up any chances you have with this girl... you have to care STRONGLY about what she thinks! If she does happen to say something like "I don't think we should go out," you need to try and argue your way back into her life!
Try to reason with her why you two should be an item, how you can't live without her, and all that other crap you usually see guys do in the movies! She'll go from seeing you as a guy she might have dated... to a snivelling crybaby who whines when he can't get his way!!
Oh, and for you own sake, please Please PLEASE tell her how much you like her!! If you let the cat out of the bag now, it'll take all the mystery about whether or not you like her out of HER head.
Don't wait for her to come to you and ask, TELL HER RIGHT NOW!! Once she knows she's caught you already - and so soon, too! - she'll become bored with you (since there's nothing about you for her to find out - the degree of your like for her, how long you've liked her, etc.) and move onto the next guy who is a little bit more patient about letting her know how he feels.
Should you move in for the kiss? Well, if you're getting signals that she doesn't want to be kissed, then YES! If there's a feeling of awkwardness in the air, kissing her will only make things even MORE awkward. You can even add to the feeling by asking her "is it okay if I kiss you?" She'll be thinking, "geez, only a LOSER would ask a girl if he could kiss her - forget him!" :kick:
If she's giving you signals that she does want to be kissed - leaning in to your face while you talk, being close to you for a long period of time, looking down at your lips, etc. - then do yourself a favor: DON'T DO IT!!. Why give her the pleasure she is longing for just because she's signaling you?
Instead, act oblivious and don't kiss her. She'll get the idea that you don't see her as more than a friend, and eventually find another guy who has the guts to kiss her! :yes:
Now go out there and show her what you're made of - Non-Juan style!
----------------------
Well, that's all for now! Don't forget to check out the NEW website - www.nonjuanworld.blogspot.com! You can read the first chapter of my book and this week's newsletter simply by clicking on the link!
If you guys ever have any relationship questions, feel free to send me a message or post your question in the discussion forum with the words "Non-Juan" somewhere in the title!
That's all for now!
-Mr. Non-Juan
----------------------
Copyright 2005 Non-Juan, Inc. All Rights Reserved. "The Non-Juan's Guide to... Losing the Girl of Your Dreams" and Non-Juan are trademarks of Non-Juan, Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Non-Juan Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim.
----------------
Greetings, people!! My name is Mr. Non-Juan!
You may not believe this, but from time to time people send me messages asking me relationship questions. SO, from time to time I like to answer these questions and post them!!
OH yeah - check out my NEW website: www.nonjuanworld.blogspot.com!
And now, onto the question of the day:
-------------------
SHOULD I KISS HER?
I always encourage you guys to write me if you have relationship questions. Well, somebody did! Today's question comes from a guy who had concerns about a girl he recently asked out. In the spirit of... well, not getting sued, only his initials will be used...
DEAR Mr. NON-JUAN:
I have a current situation with a girl. We have been friends for months, and when I asked her out, she said yes, but I feel that she has reservations. Even though, when I ran my date ideas past her she said she wanted to do all of them.
She has invited me over to bake cookies for her work bake swap today and I’m really nervous because I think she is going to tell me that she doesn’t actually want to go out, In which case I’m going to really be hurt. I liked being her friend and I can’t be friends with someone who is not straightforward. So far I haven’t let her know how much I like her other than asking her out on a date; I haven’t even called much.
Do you have any advice? Should I move in for the kiss to find out if she is really interested?
-D.W.
Hi D.W.:
Thanks for your question! Before I answer, remember: my job is to give you advice that will help you LOSE a girl. With that said...
First off, I can't believe you asked her out! That is NOT something a Non-Juan would do. In the future, I'd recommend waiting until the girl ask YOU out - that way, it'll show her that you don't have the allzbeys to step up to her as a man and be the leading force in the relationship! :nono:
But do not fret - you can still screw up your chances with this girl if you want to! You've already started a little bit by asking this girl if your dating ideas were okay - not being spontaneous is a great trait for a Non-Juan to have, as it shows a girl you're not confident about picking activities without her approval! :cheer:
Another thing you're doing is pre-determining what kind of conversation she is going to have with you. Excellent! As some great philosopher once said, "As a man thinketh, so shall it be!" By allowing your brain to assume that this girl is going to reject you, your body will go foward with the motions that will lead you the outcome that YOU predicted for yourself!
Lastly, if you really want to mess up any chances you have with this girl... you have to care STRONGLY about what she thinks! If she does happen to say something like "I don't think we should go out," you need to try and argue your way back into her life!
Try to reason with her why you two should be an item, how you can't live without her, and all that other crap you usually see guys do in the movies! She'll go from seeing you as a guy she might have dated... to a snivelling crybaby who whines when he can't get his way!!
Oh, and for you own sake, please Please PLEASE tell her how much you like her!! If you let the cat out of the bag now, it'll take all the mystery about whether or not you like her out of HER head.
Don't wait for her to come to you and ask, TELL HER RIGHT NOW!! Once she knows she's caught you already - and so soon, too! - she'll become bored with you (since there's nothing about you for her to find out - the degree of your like for her, how long you've liked her, etc.) and move onto the next guy who is a little bit more patient about letting her know how he feels.
Should you move in for the kiss? Well, if you're getting signals that she doesn't want to be kissed, then YES! If there's a feeling of awkwardness in the air, kissing her will only make things even MORE awkward. You can even add to the feeling by asking her "is it okay if I kiss you?" She'll be thinking, "geez, only a LOSER would ask a girl if he could kiss her - forget him!" :kick:
If she's giving you signals that she does want to be kissed - leaning in to your face while you talk, being close to you for a long period of time, looking down at your lips, etc. - then do yourself a favor: DON'T DO IT!!. Why give her the pleasure she is longing for just because she's signaling you?
Instead, act oblivious and don't kiss her. She'll get the idea that you don't see her as more than a friend, and eventually find another guy who has the guts to kiss her! :yes:
Now go out there and show her what you're made of - Non-Juan style!
----------------------
Well, that's all for now! Don't forget to check out the NEW website - www.nonjuanworld.blogspot.com! You can read the first chapter of my book and this week's newsletter simply by clicking on the link!
If you guys ever have any relationship questions, feel free to send me a message or post your question in the discussion forum with the words "Non-Juan" somewhere in the title!
That's all for now!
-Mr. Non-Juan
----------------------
Copyright 2005 Non-Juan, Inc. All Rights Reserved. "The Non-Juan's Guide to... Losing the Girl of Your Dreams" and Non-Juan are trademarks of Non-Juan, Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Non-Juan Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim.
