The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Colette]

Yes.. I met her last tuesday.. We kissed and everything seemed normal.. Texted her for a while.. Then felt like a chump when she said that we did not get back together but we could talk about it.. ****!!

Maybe you shouldn't have texted her after your date, kept it cool and let her chase you .
I hate when they do that, they call and want to meet , after they meet and get their ego boost , they say we are ``just friends``. Only a sick and sadistic mind acts like this.

 

[SlappaDaBayyys]

Day 13

I stupidly looked at her Facebook page. She posted about how she was going to go out and get drunk after her exam tomorrow night. I'm pissed off, mainly because I had no idea this break up was coming. Maybe I should just delete her from Facebook.......or would that look pathetic?

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Day 13

I stupidly looked at her Facebook page. She posted about how she was going to go out and get drunk after her exam tomorrow night. I'm pissed off, mainly because I had no idea this break up was coming. Maybe I should just delete her from Facebook.......or would that look pathetic?

No that wouldn't look pathetic. Why would you keep her around on Facebook? That is way more pathetic if you ask me. Just delete her.


Start of day 22 for me:

I'm doing pretty well. Looking forward to my date that I scored with this nice lady on OKCupid. She seems to be into me. Hopefully she'll still be after the date.

I also managed to score a date with someone I thought wouldn't have any interest in me. She's the roommate of my best friend and lives only 5 minutes away from me.
She recently broke up with her boyfriend and she kinda used me as a shoulder to cry on. She told me she wasn't interesting in dating anyone for a while (she told me that a few days/weeks ago).
However today she approached me and asked me how I enjoyed the party last night (I did go to a party last night, she wanted to go as well but couldn't attend). Then after a bit of chitchat she told me she would like to hang out with me (so far we never did anything together other than sometimes going to the same party, but we never did anything one-on-one). I told her that would be cool and I decided on where and when the date would be. She then gave me her number and told me I should text her if anything changes regarding our plans. I told her I will.

What do you guys think? Is this girl interested in me or am I super deep in the friendzone without even realizing it?

 

[SlappaDaBayyys]

Thanks for the responses guys. I needed to hear that. I deleted her from Facebook and Twitter and I feel better already.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Best night ever yesterday!

No, I did not "smash" a chick
No kiss close
Not even a number close!

Went out to a bar with a good looking friend of mine who by what he says sounds like a natural.

This was the first time I went to a bar solely to talk to women and have a good time. I talked to him a bit about game and we planned an "attack strategy" Guess what? Turns out he's a lot more AFC than I am!

Opened up two 2-sets and one 3-set, all of them older than us. I didn't expect anything and had ZERO approach anxiety, was confident and fun! To my surprise the girls reacted positively! The AFC-natural (haha) friend did not say anything and and sat there like..an AFC - while I did the talking. Eventually ran out of stuff to say and we went away. He physically and verbally ****blocked me few times without even noticing but whatever, I explained to him his mistakes and he agreed.

Again, this was the FIRST time I go out in 4 years as a free man!

Anyway, it was FUN, can't wait till next time!!

This friend is kind of arrogant and can be a **** sometimes (hence, my thought of a natural), he likes showing he's better than me but will always help me when I need him..I want to "show him the Red Pill" but I don't want him to get even more ****y.
I don't want this to be a competition or a teacher-student relationship, I want him to be my wingman and vice-versa and best buds...

Sorry for the wall of text, I'm just so excited

NC day 26 and I DON'T GIVE A ****!

 

[arjunck]

And you were a chump! How many times will you allow this to happen to you?

She is keeping you "on the line" in case someone better DOESN'T show up....but she considers herself single now, and is looking. When she finds someone (or just bones a few to test drive) you are down the road.

What will it take for YOU to choose your own path? Your own destiny?

You are absolutely right.. So this is the second day.. Hope I dont get sucked in again..

 

[daft_junk]

Day 1

So I'm totally new to PUA - this is my first post ever.

Wished I had implemented some of this a little while ago.

So I was dumped about 2 months ago by GF of 3 and 1/2 years. I moved states to be with her as we started long distance. We have been living together for about 7 months.

Long story short, I move in, we don't get along so well and sometimes it was fun, there wasn't much sex, i get needy, we argued alot, she breaks up with me. And I stay living with her - for 2 months! We get along heaps better, but obviously no romance and some pain on my side.

So now I go out, do my own thing, dates, act non-needy, exercise etc etc. she tells me she needs to be single, I still suggest some relationship (romance) but not BF and GF.

Sh=t thing though is, I really want her back. She is the hottest woman, funny and smart, good in bed. I know I can go out and find another woman, been on a few dates (I'm smart, fun, cute and have some game). But I want this one woman.

Day 1: deactivated my Facebook, which unfortunately disables my Tinder. Staying at a mates place, alone. No plans to contact her for the next week (start small, end big).

Wish me luck and any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

@daft_junk:

You my friend seem to have a severe case of one-itis. You should realize dat she's only one b!tch out of many many b!tches. There are dozens of other chicks like her out there, and then there are hundreds of chicks who are BETTER than her. You've got to realize this. The sooner you do the better.

 

[beatjunkie]

Bomb Scare, SoSauve and an Airplane. A story you must read. DAY 1 after 40 days of NC

40 days. But back to day 1 because it was out of my control. full story in a thread on main forum titled "Bomb Scare, SoSauve and an Airplane. A story you must read"

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 28
Almost halfway there, feeling good! The army approved my medical treatments so I will be home at least for a month I'm in lots of physical pain (low back) but I'm mentally strong and happy so it doesn't matter

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Day 24:

I was talking to a mutual friend between my ex and me (a gay guy who's really quite awesome and sort-of introduced me to my ex back then when I met her). I had a moment of weakness and asked him how she was doing. He told me she was doing quite fine. I asked him if she had found someone else. He said no. I told him that I'm glad to hear that she's doing fine and that I hope she'll find a good man that can take care of her properly. He replied that was very mature of me and he asked me if I'm still angry or resentful over the whole break up. I replied I'm not, though deep inside I secretly hoped my ex was suffering and I didn't really like hearing she was doing just fine.

For a brief moment I felt a little bit bad and I felt the temptation to contact my ex, but these feelings quickly disappeared when I received a lovely text from one of the girls I'm currently dating.

I'm doing fine now, but I can't help but being curious what is really going on in that little head of my ex.

 

[petitefri]

day number 11

day number 11

so i had this long distance relationship with my ex for 5 months, we met 2-3 times a month. 4 months into the relationship he tells me he thinks he is bi but he has never been with a guy. it got me thinking and i took 2 days to think. when we got talking he was so scared he will lose me. we had a fight on Skype that ended with an emotional breakup of us both crying real bad. well i called back and asked him to give it another chance and he took 2 days to think and we got back together. now,
we skyped and he asked about my male friends and took notes of everyone of them, name age, job etc - literally.
to cut the story short, last day we spoke, i was about getting ready for a females friends bday party( most of ma friends are male, i have been badly treated by female friends in the past). so this female friend is a gf to one of my male friends. so when i told him (he was at his mates bbq at the time i called). he sounded were and said good night. well, called up to chat with him as i changed my mine to not go since venue was miles away from mine and i and work next day. anyways , the call started ok, until he started complaining about the relationship not working and that he is not happy, that he doesn't want LDR anymore =, or he ant ready for a relationship, that my texting for the past week has been snappy and more reasons we couldn't be together. stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours crying and begging him to not give uo on me (BIG MISTAKE). well he still kept saying he is sorry and how i am a great gal and i will find someone else. on and on and round the cycle with him rejecting me, i got fed up and hung up on him after saying 'you know what, am done, do what you want'.

so when i told my mates, another mistake, a male friend (my ex alway thought we was dating cos we are close but he has a gf and moved to oz) sent him a message via Facebook to make it clear we aint and have never dated and neither has anyone in our cycle of friends- NO REPLY.
4 days ago, my best friend couldn't reach me cos i had blocked my Facebook and changed my number (still kept my old number ). she contacted my ex to ask if he has heard from me. he told her he had broken up with me and when she asked if we could ever get back together he said he thinks there won't be any difference if we did, well, so she contacted my other pal in Oz who gave her my contact. she reached me and later contacted my ex to say she had reached the mate in Oz who told her where i am and gave her my new number. at this time i was away to Brighton with a gay mate of mine for the weekend.
ex didn't reply.
its a confusing story but i hope you get it.
well, i just got back from my weekend and it has been a sad day with em feeling lonely and depressed, sad ad crying. i haven't heard from him and i haven't contacted him after hanging up on him.
i don't know if he will contact me. i am trying to move on which is hard, i have been on a date and working on going on more in the cuter. my heart still bleeds cos i really miss him.
last time we broke up it was for a couple of days and i told him am not giving up on the relationship and i even sent a love missing you card by post to his office.
this time its day 11 and i haven't contacted him and i wish my friends hadn't too.
well i plan on reactivating my Facebook on the weekend after my party and then i will block him for good while i try to heal. until then i will update each day.

comments are welcome.
thanks

 

[Lotus Effect]

Day 365

It's been a year since the breakup. I'm alive, but I still think about her every day, and it still hurts, sometimes a little, sometimes too much.

I though I would have so much to write about it, but there isn't much to say, besides...

...Brace Yourselfs. It is a LONG RUN!

PS: A year since the initial break up, unfortunatelly, I was not able to handle my own sh!t, and I begged her back, we got back, I found out she was cheating, I've dumped her sk@nky ass, but then again I've reinitiated contact, blablabla, and I've only went NC on October. So it is still 7 months NC mark...

Bottomline, GO NC AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, otherwise, you will only extend the pain. Guaranteed!

 

[Noyou]

Day 24:

I was talking to a mutual friend between my ex and me (a gay guy who's really quite awesome and sort-of introduced me to my ex back then when I met her). I had a moment of weakness and asked him how she was doing. He told me she was doing quite fine. I asked him if she had found someone else. He said no. I told him that I'm glad to hear that she's doing fine and that I hope she'll find a good man that can take care of her properly. He replied that was very mature of me and he asked me if I'm still angry or resentful over the whole break up. I replied I'm not, though deep inside I secretly hoped my ex was suffering and I didn't really like hearing she was doing just fine.

For a brief moment I felt a little bit bad and I felt the temptation to contact my ex, but these feelings quickly disappeared when I received a lovely text from one of the girls I'm currently dating.

I'm doing fine now, but I can't help but being curious what is really going on in that little head of my ex.

Cut all ties, trust me, you'll thank me later

 

[Colette]

day number 11

so i had this long distance relationship with my ex for 5 months, we met 2-3 times a month. 4 months into the relationship he tells me he thinks he is bi but he has never been with a guy. it got me thinking and i took 2 days to think. when we got talking he was so scared he will lose me. we had a fight on Skype that ended with an emotional breakup of us both crying real bad. well i called back and asked him to give it another chance and he took 2 days to think and we got back together. now,
we skyped and he asked about my male friends and took notes of everyone of them, name age, job etc - literally.
to cut the story short, last day we spoke, i was about getting ready for a females friends bday party( most of ma friends are male, i have been badly treated by female friends in the past). so this female friend is a gf to one of my male friends. so when i told him (he was at his mates bbq at the time i called). he sounded were and said good night. well, called up to chat with him as i changed my mine to not go since venue was miles away from mine and i and work next day. anyways , the call started ok, until he started complaining about the relationship not working and that he is not happy, that he doesn't want LDR anymore =, or he ant ready for a relationship, that my texting for the past week has been snappy and more reasons we couldn't be together. stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours crying and begging him to not give uo on me (BIG MISTAKE). well he still kept saying he is sorry and how i am a great gal and i will find someone else. on and on and round the cycle with him rejecting me, i got fed up and hung up on him after saying 'you know what, am done, do what you want'.

so when i told my mates, another mistake, a male friend (my ex alway thought we was dating cos we are close but he has a gf and moved to oz) sent him a message via Facebook to make it clear we aint and have never dated and neither has anyone in our cycle of friends- NO REPLY.
4 days ago, my best friend couldn't reach me cos i had blocked my Facebook and changed my number (still kept my old number ). she contacted my ex to ask if he has heard from me. he told her he had broken up with me and when she asked if we could ever get back together he said he thinks there won't be any difference if we did, well, so she contacted my other pal in Oz who gave her my contact. she reached me and later contacted my ex to say she had reached the mate in Oz who told her where i am and gave her my new number. at this time i was away to Brighton with a gay mate of mine for the weekend.
ex didn't reply.
its a confusing story but i hope you get it.
well, i just got back from my weekend and it has been a sad day with em feeling lonely and depressed, sad ad crying. i haven't heard from him and i haven't contacted him after hanging up on him.
i don't know if he will contact me. i am trying to move on which is hard, i have been on a date and working on going on more in the cuter. my heart still bleeds cos i really miss him.
last time we broke up it was for a couple of days and i told him am not giving up on the relationship and i even sent a love missing you card by post to his office.
this time its day 11 and i haven't contacted him and i wish my friends hadn't too.
well i plan on reactivating my Facebook on the weekend after my party and then i will block him for good while i try to heal. until then i will update each day.

comments are welcome.
thanks

Don't contact him . He rejected you remember? you begged him on the phone and he still did not want to be with you . So, what more proof do you want to be convinced that this guy is no good for you.
If he really loved you he would never let you go. All talks about oh relationship does not work, I don't want to be in relationship blah blah blah are bullsh!t. forget about him and move on. Focus on you instead of him . Fvck him , he is a coward.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Cut all ties, trust me, you'll thank me later

That's gonna be a little bit difficult because she and I share many friends. If I would cut ties with all of them, I'd lose half of my social circle.

But I guess I should either go deep or go home. I could always make new friends...

So you really suggest I should cut all ties with all our mutual friends?

 

[Noyou]

That's gonna be a little bit difficult because she and I share many friends. If I would cut ties with all of them, I'd lose half of my social circle.

But I guess I should either go deep or go home. I could always make new friends...

So you really suggest I should cut all ties with all our mutual friends?

I thought the same thing about 5 months ago, and I met her family, her friends and whatnot.

Bottom line, they knew HER before YOU and even if YOU were the victim and you did everything right, they will ultimately take HER side, even if she is wrong.

In my situation, I had a smart old friend (he is elderly) that me and the ex knew, but COMPLETELY took my side and he's known the ex for 20 years and me only 3 years. Even he told me to stay away from all of them and the ex, and that when he saw us together "I was excellent for her, but she wasn't good for me" and that he thought of me "as a son he never had." Luckily this man knew all what was up and told me the right things, and not what I wanted to hear.

Now if you knew them before your ex did, then you can keep them BUT WATCH WHAT YOU SAY AROUND THEM. They might prove to tell her about you and what you're doing, knowing this about you, she can have her cake and eat it to.

Trust me. You REALLY want to heal? All balls or none, stay friends with them, you will just prolong your healing. I went through it. Things got better when you let everything go, AND if they are your true friends, they would understand. If not, they weren't your friends were they?

If there is a "that's not a mature thing to do" arguement, then lets say this:

Was it mature that your ex dumped you, and selfishly thought of his/her own needs, while you worried about his/hers?
Was it mature that you (More than likely) were labeled as the person who made the relationship not work, even if you know that is not true and you gave your all?
Was it mature that your ex LIED/CHEATED on you?

HE/SHE DESERVES NOTHING FROM YOU
HE/SHE DECIDED TO LEAVE TO SEEK GREENER GRASS
YOU SHOULD BE PISSED!

Move on, then when he/she comes back, AND HE/SHE WILL, you can handle it like an adult.
From what I've seen a majority of the time, when you finally move on, they decide to come back, the reason they come back is what you have to look out for, but more than likely you should say no, because they will do it again.

Don't date a child, date an adult folks

 

[Noyou]

Don't contact him . He rejected you remember? you begged him on the phone and he still did not want to be with you . So, what more proof do you want to be convinced that this guy is no good for you.
If he really loved you he would never let you go. All talks about oh relationship does not work, I don't want to be in relationship blah blah blah are bullsh!t. forget about him and move on. Focus on you instead of him . Fvck him , he is a coward.

AMEN

 

[arjunck]

She wants to talk about the relationship.. I am sure the problems we have might never disappear.. She sent a text saying she wants to talk.. I am okay with talking.. Not too sure..

 

[Noyou]

She wants to talk about the relationship.. I am sure the problems we have might never disappear.. She sent a text saying she wants to talk.. I am okay with talking.. Not too sure..

Key things:

1. Did she contact you?
2. Was she the dumper?
3. Did she say at the breakup "I need space/time/etc?"
4. How Long was the breakup?

I'd wait for several responses on here before engaging.
My honest opinion is to ignore. If it was important, she would call you.

Had my ex contact me asking how I was doing and such, only to realize that the person she started to date wasn't working out.