The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 21
Been busy with work the whole day so I barely even had any time to think of her. I wish I could jump to day 221 already

@Dtsm3 keep it strong brother. Don't let yourself fall again

 

[Blackmesa]

Day 8

I was in a terrible emotional state yesterday, very anxious and sad, and everything remembered her. I read a lot on SoSuave, and it made me feel better. But I still feel like a part of me is missing. I know it is a hard truth to accept, but if she comes back after me, I shouldn't go back with her. I am afraid I might give in if she contacts. But as for the NC, I won't think I will be one breaking it.

This is the thread I am discussing what went wrong on this relationship: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=215861

Although she was the one the put our relationship on flames for an absurd reason, the guys there are helping me realize I also did some mistakes and could have reacted better when she started this storm.

Thanks guys!

Day 112

Looked at her Facebook and saw a sad sight. She has a profile picture where she looks like she has some makeup on with clown like consistency.

Just.....no...

She's a mess.

You made my day. This made me laugh hard! Haha! Nice to see you're doing good!

Regards,

Blackmesa

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Blackmesa, trust me when I say this - things will get better. You can read my older posts from days 1-10, I was so depressed it was driving me out of my mind.

Start working out! I'm on day 8 on Kris Gethin's plan and I can already see results. Once I'll be shreded I'm dying to see my ex and her ugly skinny boyfriend at the beach!

 

[Noyou]

Day 8

You made my day. This made me laugh hard! Haha! Nice to see you're doing good!

Regards,

Blackmesa

She's actually getting worse and her friends think that this looks good.

I'm not too surprised that her friends are pushing her along because none of them have the guts or anything to tell her that she looks awful, they seem to have the same mindset / want to bone her because she's an AW.

Either way she isn't changing any so moving on.

I'd say the universe is working out, just as it should. I worked hard to get my Engineering degree, I get a raw abusive relationship deal. I get better in my life (Professionally / Body / Soul / Mind) and she stays the same or worse to try to look better to get a "acceptable" suitor so he can put up with her MANY issues and baggage as I did. It will be just a matter of time (if not already) that it hits what she has done, and I'll be here with my new home, with my awesome job, enjoying the finer things in life, and all I was trying to do this whole time was love her for who she was, which might have been a front displayed to me.

It's a shame, I expected more from her.

 

[JohnChops]

Well guess it's time to fully nc my bpd oneitis track wreck. Broke nc last night after her mom, we text and hangout from time to time, sent me a picture of her, it was her dressed up for some event. She was bombshell status, it pissed me off for some reason so I texted her and she was playful at first, then I told her we should chill soon and no response. But it's not that, tha was the bad part, it's the fact that she can still stir up emotions I locked away a year ago.

So on behalf of myself effing up and getting slapped by a dose of reality I mark today : NC Day #1.

I'd also like to point out I have a girlfriend and have had multiple women since me and her never worked out. I still get weird feelings around her though, however it's a bonus I only see her once and awhile now.

 

[Noyou]

Well guess it's time to fully nc my bpd oneitis track wreck. Broke nc last night after her mom, we text and hangout from time to time, sent me a picture of her, it was her dressed up for some event. She was bombshell status, it pissed me off for some reason so I texted her and she was playful at first, then I told her we should chill soon and no response. But it's not that, tha was the bad part, it's the fact that she can still stir up emotions I locked away a year ago.

So on behalf of myself effing up and getting slapped by a dose of reality I mark today : NC Day #1.

I'd also like to point out I have a girlfriend and have had multiple women since me and her never worked out. I still get weird feelings around her though, however it's a bonus I only see her once and awhile now.

I think they are both trying to rub it in, sounds like if you were in an abusive emotional relationship, more than likely the mom will have the same mindset as your ex. Learned this the easy way. Lol

You still have feelings because
1. You put your all into the relationship and she didn't reciprocate
2. The relationship was emotionally abusive for you (you might realize it or not)
3. Maybe she did better herself and she does look good an your thinking with your penis.

If it was good, you'd both still be one so at least one of those apply

REMEMBER, even if she is "bombshell" status, doesn't mean she's girlfriend or wife material.

 

[JohnChops]

I think they are both trying to rub it in, sounds like if you were in an abusive emotional relationship, more than likely the mom will have the same mindset as your ex. Learned this the easy way. Lol

.... I didn't even think about that until you said it. Damnit

 

[Noyou]

.... I didn't even think about that until you said it. Damnit

It's cool, you got caught off guard. Just block both numbers or ignore and be on your way.

 

[Dtsm3]

So last night I get this weird text from the ex. It was a repeat of the last text she sent me. Basically saying:

Youre a really lovely guy, but not right for me in a relationship.

I was hoping we would be friends. But I can see that won't work either.


I text back just saying: I've got this weird text from you. She replies: sorry my phone is playing up.

The odd thing is, I never actually recieved this text the first time, and thinking back I remember thinking it seemed like I'd missed something. As far as I was concerned it ended with me getting pissed off with her and deleting her from my facebook.

This text last night really pisses me off, I don;t want to hear from her again, I just want to get on with my life now. Rant over!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 22

Aaaaarrrgggghhhhh
A friend told me he saw her at a men's gift shop. Asked him not to talk about her anymore but damage is already done. Feeling depressed again. Gotta take this out at workout today!

 

[beatjunkie]

^^ What a lousy friend wtf. glad to see you hitting the gym bro, works wonders!

 

[Dtsm3]

Not sure what day this is now.

After last nights drama I feel like **** again.

So I'm taking even further action. I've removed my facebook account. Which I wont go back to until the 60 days are up. Even though we are no longer friends, this will remove the temptation to see what she is up to and also I can't see the pictures of us together etc.

I was also online dating, Which is where I met her. I noticed her on there, so I removed my online dating account as I don't want to know what she is up to.

I just want to forget about all this and start again.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

^^ What a lousy friend wtf. glad to see you hitting the gym bro, works wonders!

He also showed me a picture of her and another guy (more like kid whose 3 years younger than me) who is (or was?) a clingy orbiter which she used as an emotional tampon for 2 years. I hope for her dignity she's not banging him. Ewwww.
I guess she's not official with that doctor after all?

It's making me doubt my opinion of her, maybe she does care about me? Maybe she's not seeing anyone and just waiting for me to approach her?


My mind says HELL NO but the heart says YES.

**** **** **** **** ****

Also didn't finish my workout, sh!tty new commander is looking for ways to screw with me by limiting my free time to zero

 

[beatjunkie]

He also showed me a picture of her and another guy (more like kid whose 3 years younger than me) who is (or was?) a clingy orbiter which she used as an emotional tampon for 2 years. I hope for her dignity she's not banging him. Ewwww.
I guess she's not official with that doctor after all?

It's making me doubt my opinion of her, maybe she does care about me? Maybe she's not seeing anyone and just waiting for me to approach her?


My mind says HELL NO but the heart says YES.

**** **** **** **** ****

Also didn't finish my workout, sh!tty new commander is looking for ways to screw with me by limiting my free time to zero

Bro, let me give you an outsiders perspective on this. This is low quality defined. She jumped in between 2 guys in a matter of 22 days. That's eleven days a guy, how much more clingy do you need to be to justify your self existence? I read somewhere that to find strength in others that's easy but to find strength within yourself that's the real challenge. I think you can relate, i certainly do. She is weak and will continue to do so. That is not wifey material. Sorry bro but it just isn't. I feel the same about mine, she said yes to a marriage proposal (which i took back the next day after banging another girl inbetween) while she was seeing someone else (who she said she loves). Ok so maybe I am also low quality but AT LEAST I AM TRYING TO IMPROVE and not by relying on another relationship. by myself. I don't know about your quality but you are certainly trying as well. NC is hard but it is the best thing that is gonna happen to us bro, savor it. turn pain into gain.

 

[arjunck]

Cannot stop thinking about her since she said I am still in love with you 2 days ago.. She keeps texting me, I replied once, to the point and did not reply after that.. I dont know how to keep no contact if my emotions can be stirred up so easily..

I am trying to do crunches whenever I think about her.. But it is so difficult to keep doing crunches and sit ups without breaking a sweat.. Help me people..

I cannot stop thinking how beautiful she looks.. I keep fantasizing about her.. I mean i would like to fantasize about so many other hot women out there.. This one is in my head.. Getting it out seems highly improbable!!

Help me!! Please!!

 

[edgarcrema]

DAY 5

After a huge fight with my exBPDgf (she stalked me, threat me and harassed me) I have finally decided to implement strict NC. It started 5 days ago. I deleted her contacts info and all the other stuff on my phone and pc.
I blocked her and her friends on FB.
I changed the place were I used to park my car at train station, because she tried to make some damage.

I don't think I want her back but I think that 60 days without contact will make the things more clear.

 

[Dtsm3]

Maybe I'm taking dramatic steps, but I have come to a hard conclusion, and plan.

Part of my problem is that I was in such a long relationship, that I have this overwhelming need to have someone in my life. To have company.

I've realised unless I shift this, I'm never going to have a happy relationship as I will always be pushing for more and putting women off.

So my plan - OK so no contact with the ex's for 60 days. But I also have a number of female friends (some with benefits) that I keep going back to. I need to shift this feeling. So no contact with any of them. Not one for 60 days. I can still go out with mates and enjoy life, but I want to be able to be me without needing anyone else in my life. So I'm gonna do it, say a fond fairwell to the lot of them and start my life of celebacy (well for at least 60 days). I'm going to concentrate on getting fitter, healty, and spending time with my good friends and family.

Wish me luck everyone!

 

[beatjunkie]

^^no need for a farewell speech. Just do it. Good luck

 

[Dtsm3]

Thanks bud! Job done! I've blocked the lot of them! Only me close friends and family will be in my life now. No more ****ing around, just me!

A new life, a new chaptor, a new me! No one else!

 

[beatjunkie]

Thanks bud! Job done! I've blocked the lot of them! Only me close friends and family will be in my life now. No more ****ing around, just me!

A new life, a new chaptor, a new me! No one else!

That was the easy part. Now stick to it! Gonna suck but it will mold you proper