The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Adz--]

It's been about 2 months or so since NC with my ex. Iv stopped counting.

Some days I am in my element and well I wouldn't say become a DJ but come close to it, like I feel content, have a smile, feel strong and confident talk to everyone I see, think rationally and clearly and the day is amazing.

But on other days it's the complete opposite it's like going from an extravert to an complete introvert and worse, I won't talk to many people, won't have a smile on my face, don't feel strong or confident, have clouded judgement and I won't think rationally.

It's like two different ends of the scale and there is no middle ground. Along with this again my stupid ex is in my mind, it's been over 2 months now or so, I'm not keeping track of how long and she is in my mind.
It is extremely frustrating. Some days I cope with it and I am able to deal with it and others I find it extremely difficult, when I do find it difficult I find that I feel vulnerable, and my mind set becomes of an AFC. I have also caught my self thinking about breaking NC when it is really bad.

But I have to literally argue with my mind and my feelings and say it is not the right thing to do and that some other dude is balls deep in her pvssy..
Although it pains me to bare these types of thoughts I feel like that's the only option..

This is extremely frustrating.. And to be honest painful. I fvcking hate it.
It's confusing the crap out of me at the same time. I'll be thinking I don't want her back but I miss her :crazy:

Is this normal? Is there anything I can do? Am I going crazy?

Even a few weeks ago I was with some girl who has a bf, and to cut long story short we kissed and her hands were down my pants.. But I still can't forget about my ex.. What makes it worse when I'm writing this up, and remembering that other girl I see my ex's face on her :cuss:

Adz--

 

[beatjunkie]

guys this b just called me.

i deleted her number so i didn't know who it was. i answered and the person hung up. i called back and no answer. then another call 5 mins later and its her. so i played it cool, said i was ok and that was it. she said she will call me later.

wat the fffffffffffffffff! i am on the road to recovery.

advise please. could this b my chance of revenge?? i wana destroy this b

so no call from her. mixed feelings. like why the hell would she call in the first place? how immature can u be to do that and then not call. she's stupid. maybe her first call was by accident. whatever. honestly wish i didn't answer her call but i had no idea it was her because i deleted her number. anyhow, this give ME more strength to carry on. f u b!tch.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

so no call from her. mixed feelings. like why the hell would she call in the first place? how immature can u be to do that and then not call. she's stupid. maybe her first call was by accident. whatever. honestly wish i didn't answer her call but i had no idea it was her because i deleted her number. anyhow, this give ME more strength to carry on. f u b!tch.

Dude,time to move on.

If you feel this bad about the sitch, you gotta cut it out of your life. And for good. Usually I'd say go no contact and then something might happen in future, but you sound mighty peeved mate. Wouldn't even go back there man. Serious.

Stay strong. And NEXT =)

 

[beatjunkie]

i am trying to move on and it's like she doesnt want me to with that phone call today. why play games? life's too short mates...enjoy it and be mature and manly about things. f the rest. i'm NEXTING already.

hope i keep this mentality going;

positivity ALWAYS!

 

[Darrenez]

Darrenez....

Girls don't forget. Whatever you did years ago if she still can't get past it she never will. You were in a dead end. Count your blessings and move on. Saving yourself a lot of further heartache. Same reason mine ended. She couldn't forget that I left once before and it scared her. She couldn't trust me anymore. If you have the tickets then still go to the event. You have one month to find a date for it. It will help. Don't let them go to waste.

Hey mate..not too fussed about the event anyway it was for her , a present for valentines day so may just email her the tickets nearer the time as its not my mind if thing. I did say we would go together whatever happened last week however I have since found this website and have taken your advice on board..going together as friends is out of the question. As it was a present for her maybe nearer the time I will email them to her. Not sure as I'm supposed to be doing NC!

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

i am trying to move on and it's like she doesnt want me to with that phone call today. why play games? life's too short mates...enjoy it and be mature and manly about things. f the rest. i'm NEXTING already.

hope i keep this mentality going;

positivity ALWAYS!

It's key to get to a point where you don't allow this or any other person rile you as such, no matter how frustrating their behaviours; it doesn't matter to you right, because you thrive from your own sense of self worth. Learning this has actually made me nicer to everyone.

 

[slappy]

Yo dudes,

I return after months. I started the sixty day challenge in Jan, but unfortunately heard bad news about a family member so ran back to my ex for support, which means our relationship lasted another three months. I don't think I was doing no contact for the right reasons back then anyway, it was more of a silence treatment than to get over him.

Anyway, day six for me right now. It's been up and down, but I don't have time to elaborate because I need to start getting ready for a date. I'm feeling up right now, but I'm sure later on it'll be a low and I'll be ready to post properly.

I'll go back and read the past 10-15 pages soon so I can get to know my fellow no-contacters and help you all.

 

[beatjunkie]

goodmorn men,

so i get a text at 2am asking "how are you???." this is the same person who i chased around 3 countries (crazy afc story, may share soon) trying to get her to come back and when we finally meet says she loves another guy to my face.

so why do u wanna know how i am? i'm good. and thanks to sosauve, i'm better, wiser, stronger and goal oriented. thanks for asking.

not replying. although she called me yesterday and i answered not knowing its her...this NC day 11!! FINALLY in double digit numbers.

 

[Rave18]

Weak moments

I check my ex's Facebook continuously (at least once a day). It feels bad to not be a part of someone's life, who meant so much to you at one point of time (Irrespective of the reason for your break up). To see her smiling and having fun makes me feel lonelier. Today I felt like hacking into her e-mail account to read her e-mails. Am trying to focus on my career and it is the one thing that has kept me sane

 

[HW1984]

Day 30.....

Halfway there. Feeling good, looking even better. Anyone out there sulking and letting it consume you, STOP. Look at yourself now, hit the gym, run, do pushups. Look at yourself again in a month and you will feel great. I still miss her and think about her often but what's done is done. There will always be another one.

 

[Cheeks]

Day 28. 4 weeks. Guess that's some sort of milestone.
Mostly feel numb now.

 

[rasj1983]

5 weeks

 

[Rave18]

Stop doing that.

If you touched a hot stove and burned your fingers, would you keep doing it over and over?

Blocked her and her friends on Facebook. Hope to continue with my resolve.

 

[slappy]

Day 7! Definitely proud of myself for making it this far.

Today is going to be a hard day. I was spinning four plates but after last night I'm down to two, after messing one up pretty badly and the other getting sh1tty at me because my team beat his in the football. This plus alcohol nearly prompted me to call my ex, but luckily my friends stopped me and talked me out of it. They did however attempt to prank call him from a private number, but luckily he didn't answer. I don't count it as breaking contact as I had nothing to do with it.

Anyway, feeling down in the dumps today. I have an assignment due I haven't started, I'm hungover and I've got work all day.

This sucks, he hasn't even tried to contact me. I broke it off with him because he stopped putting in any effort, I did break up with him but I kept the door open by telling him I'd take him back if he could contact me and put effort in. Smart boy, he's using no contact too and look at me, I'm doing exactly what you all want your exes to be like.

He's obviously not ever coming back so it's time to improve myself, and get some better plates spinning, but today I'll have my moment.

 

[Darrenez]

I'm on a week now and haven't felt tempted at all tbh however when we were on a break,I was able to withstand contacting her in a month so I'm sure I'll easily be able to last a another month or more.

Saying that though and I know your all say I'm mad I do feel like I've lost out as she was such a nice person and a good girlfriend.. I was a good boyfriend however I did make a few mistakes but I do feel like I've lost out as I'm not with her anymore.. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but my girlfriend wasn't a bish like quite a few on here so I'm finding it hard to be mad at her.

I mean she did go on a date when we had a break but that's about the worse thing she done. Saying that she only wants to be friends with me is annoying but in a way I'm not mad at her as that's how she feels. Just reading on her a lot of guys are pissed with their ex's but I'm not ,well not much anyway lol.

 

[slappy]

I'm on a week now and haven't felt tempted at all tbh however when we were on a break,I was able to withstand contacting her in a month so I'm sure I'll easily be able to last a another month or more.

Saying that though and I know your all say I'm mad I do feel like I've lost out as she was such a nice person and a good girlfriend.. I was a good boyfriend however I did make a few mistakes but I do feel like I've lost out as I'm not with her anymore.. I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but my girlfriend wasn't a bish like quite a few on here so I'm finding it hard to be mad at her.

I mean she did go on a date when we had a break but that's about the worse thing she done. Saying that she only wants to be friends with me is annoying but in a way I'm not mad at her as that's how she feels. Just reading on her a lot of guys are pissed with their ex's but I'm not ,well not much anyway lol.

We're on the same amount of days, let's help each other

My problems at the moment is that because he isn't a bad person I'm doubting my decisions to stay NC, so you're a lot stronger than I am if you're finding this easy. Just don't let it be your downfall like it is for me.

So yeah, your post felt like I was reading my scenario too. I wasn't a bad girlfriend, I made some mistakes, as did he. We're just both over the relationship it seems, and NC is the only way for both of us to ensure our emotions don't get in the way and we get back together again.

It's different for me though because I was the dumper and not the dumpee.

 

[Cheeks]

We're on the same amount of days, let's help each other

My problems at the moment is that because he isn't a bad person I'm doubting my decisions to stay NC, so you're a lot stronger than I am if you're finding this easy. Just don't let it be your downfall like it is for me.

So yeah, your post felt like I was reading my scenario too. I wasn't a bad girlfriend, I made some mistakes, as did he. We're just both over the relationship it seems, and NC is the only way for both of us to ensure our emotions don't get in the way and we get back together again.

It's different for me though because I was the dumper and not the dumpee.

Um, you do realize it is different for women?

If you want him back, just tell him so. You will never be happy if the relationship continues as a result of him begging to try again. The frame will be lost and all of the power will be shifted to you. Attraction will vanish, babies will cry, dogs and cats living together, etc.

This thread is for men working to move on from a woman that rejected/dumped/cheated them. There are subtle gender dynamics at play that I don't think you're picking up on.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

We're on the same amount of days, let's help each other

My problems at the moment is that because he isn't a bad person I'm doubting my decisions to stay NC, so you're a lot stronger than I am if you're finding this easy. Just don't let it be your downfall like it is for me.

So yeah, your post felt like I was reading my scenario too. I wasn't a bad girlfriend, I made some mistakes, as did he. We're just both over the relationship it seems, and NC is the only way for both of us to ensure our emotions don't get in the way and we get back together again.

It's different for me though because I was the dumper and not the dumpee.

If you're the dumper rather than the dumpee, you shouldn't really be playing any kind of technique as such. Ideally you'll be honest with yourself about what you want and then with him. It doesn't really sound like you're certain; and this forum is full of guys attempting to deal with situations just like your ex finds himself in right now.

 

[slappy]

Um, you do realize it is different for women?

If you want him back, just tell him so. You will never be happy if the relationship continues as a result of him begging to try again. The frame will be lost and all of the power will be shifted to you. Attraction will vanish, babies will cry, dogs and cats living together, etc.

This thread is for men working to move on from a woman that rejected/dumped/cheated them. There are subtle gender dynamics at play that I don't think you're picking up on.

It doesn't help that I haven't explained myself does it?

I'm just not in a good headspace atm. Starting to post on day 7 rather than day 1 was a bad idea. I don't want him to come crawling back, I know I just said I did, but only because I'm on a down at the moment. I tried NC on here in Jan, but failed because back then it was a silent treatment, now I really do want to get over him and NC is the only way I can.

I won't bore everybody with the details about why I decided to break things off with him, but there were legitimate reasons (lying, never really wanting to spend time together etc) but I still try to hold him in a positive light because I don't feel the need to be rude about him.

RE: Being the dumper and being female.

I lurked this thread a while ago, I think I got up to page 200 or so. In that time a few females have posted and gotten support from other people. I know it doesn't help I said stupid stuff that makes me seem like I'm craving attention from him and that's all I want, because yeah, I'd be exactly like the girls you're all trying to get over. I completely understand why you posted what you just said. But in reality I'm just another person who was in a toxic relationship that felt like a drug, and I'm just trying to get over my ex like you all are. I just haven't been documenting very well.

A lot of people post as the dumper, going back a few pages some recent posts are still the dumper.

Anyway, if it'll upset people that someone on the complete other side is going to post I completely understand and I'll find another support network. I'm not trying to be nasty or sarcastic, the last thing I want to do is make this harder for people going through what I am.

I've been reading your posts though, and I really do wish you the best in your NC challenge. What everyone here posts about women is 100% true, most are all the negative traits that get listed and unfortunately for a moment they came out of me before.

 

[Cheeks]

It doesn't help that I haven't explained myself does it?

I'm just not in a good headspace atm. Starting to post on day 7 rather than day 1 was a bad idea. I don't want him to come crawling back, I know I just said I did, but only because I'm on a down at the moment. I tried NC on here in Jan, but failed because back then it was a silent treatment, now I really do want to get over him and NC is the only way I can.

I won't bore everybody with the details about why I decided to break things off with him, but there were legitimate reasons (lying, never really wanting to spend time together etc) but I still try to hold him in a positive light because I don't feel the need to be rude about him.

RE: Being the dumper and being female.

I lurked this thread a while ago, I think I got up to page 200 or so. In that time a few females have posted and gotten support from other people. I know it doesn't help I said stupid stuff that makes me seem like I'm craving attention from him and that's all I want, because yeah, I'd be exactly like the girls you're all trying to get over. I completely understand why you posted what you just said. But in reality I'm just another person who was in a toxic relationship that felt like a drug, and I'm just trying to get over my ex like you all are. I just haven't been documenting very well.

A lot of people post as the dumper, going back a few pages some recent posts are still the dumper.

Anyway, if it'll upset people that someone on the complete other side is going to post I completely understand and I'll find another support network. I'm not trying to be nasty or sarcastic, the last thing I want to do is make this harder for people going through what I am.

I've been reading your posts though, and I really do wish you the best in your NC challenge. What everyone here posts about women is 100% true, most are all the negative traits that get listed and unfortunately for a moment they came out of me before.

Don't get me wrong, post all you want. I just thought you were going about it the wrong way, but it makes more sense to me now.