The mysterious thing called personality

dice

Senior Don Juan
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I come to this site pretty much everyday and I see all kinds of posts. Most are techniques that will work one time and gain you browny points but for the most part they are useless.

Everyday it seems like there is a new post discussing what I'm guessing is everyones biggest hang up, "looks". Do they matter is the question. I'm here to tell you something I read on here a few months ago that I have come to learn is very true.

"looks will get you the audition, but thats it"

if the show isnt worth the time, than you will be staring at an empty auditorium

THE most important thing is personality, yet I never see any posts about it. I have many friends that are ****ing hilarious, yet when they get around girls they clam up. It's like someone flipped off their light switch or took out their batteries and they just become paralyzed.

I've read tons of books on personality, but I've only found one that will actually give you what you are looking for. That is, a self-fulfilling, adequate, creative personality.

If you are in ANY way not 100% satisfied with your personality, turn off your computer, get 10 bucks together, and go buy a copy of Psychocybernetics. Keep in mind that no one is the ideal personality, you will always come up a little short in expressing yourself as you'd like to be, but if you feel you have a flaw this book will solve your problem no matter what it is.

Here's the cliff notes of what im talking about:

The philosophy is based on the analogy of a torpedo. A torpedo does not think out its actions. It selects a target or goal, and goes at it. If it gets too far off course, it corrects its actions in a zig zag like manner. IT DOES NOT STOP MOVING BECAUSE IT GOT OFF COURSE.

How this applies to personality, and if you read the book it will give you a much better description but atleast if you read this you can see if the book will help you:

Practice disinhibition. Your goal is a good personality. So like the torpedo, go after your goal until you reach it. Use these principles:

- do not think of what to say before you speak, just open up your mouth and speak and you will automatically improvise as you go along.

- completely block out negative feedback, which in this example is criticism either from yourself or from other people. Don't be afriad to sound like an idiot. You will reach your goal if you just continue moving forward.

- Do not be inhibited. This is the equivalent of if the torpedo just stopped moving towards the target because it got off course. Let your personality shine and the more you do the more powerful and creative it will become. Completely close your mind off to "what others think" and head towards your target.

If you have any qualms with your own ability to express yourself, than I recommend Psychocybernetics more than anything I've ever recommended to anyone in my life. It literally saved my life. I used to just go hangout with people and sit there afraid to say a word until I had no friends and no family. I had hit bottom. Than I started practicing disinhibition, and while I'm nowhere near where I want to be, I am becoming better and more creative with every interaction and I have more friends now than I ever thought I would ever have.
 

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
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Its so true, that your personality is important, and whilst such things as teasing should be part of your personality, using tips here as 'side tricks' does not work. I will be honest, it has taken me far longer then it should have done to realise this.
 

Cruise

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GREAT recommendation... I second that.

Maxwell Maltz is the author... for salespeople out there, he also wrote a book called "Zero-Resistance Selling" that covers that whole topic more in-depth.

100%
 

I_Only_Live_Once

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I agree. Just letting it flow, saying whatever is on top of your mind is the key.
 
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