Respect yourself and others.
This is one of the most beneficial principles any Don Juan can take on. In fact its relevent for any person.
Its as if the world around you is a reflection of how you see yourself. When people say that “its all about you” they mean that its all about the way you see yourself. And you choose how to view yourself. For instance, if you view yourself as a loser when you look in the mirror you see a loser and what the world sees is a loser. You don’t hold yourself well and when you speak your words don’t come out with confidence. But, if you see yourself as a cool person then that idea emanates from you. You hold yourself well and speak confidently. Others see you in that way as well.
Think about the way you act around someone you respect. You treat them well. You speak to them in a way that conveys your appreciation of that person. You compliment them. If you respect yourself you show appreciation of yourself. You don’t condemn yourself for tiny mistakes. You love yourself flaws and all.
If you leave the world to decide upon how you should see yourself then it will decide and it will probably not come to a positive conclusion. But if you are the one who decides your own worth then you are in control. It takes constant attention to keep your self-esteem high. Some people (people who are naturally attractive or are born into large sums of money etc.) receive lots of attention from the world (often superficial attention in my opinion) as they grow up and as adults. They have lots of people explicitly saying and implying that they are worthy people. The effects of this are sort of psychosomatic. Because they believe that they are worthy, they emanate this feeling of worth to the world and the world reflects the same feeling back to them. As a result they believe that they can achieve what it is that they want and they go for it. Their belief makes them perseverant. When they fail they don’t give up because they know that what they want is going to come to them. Most people do not have such luck and some people (me for example) have received a large amount of indication that they are not worthy through explicit and implicit messages from people. The point is that you don’t need other people to tell you that you are capable, cool, attractive, sexy or whatever. If you believe this yourself first then people probably will tell you so but that’s besides the point because it is your own opinion of you that really counts.
So many people nowadays want to go onto some reality TV show so that a personal trainer, a life coach and a handful of stylists will transform them. They want someone else to do all the hard work for them. As I have said, most of us aren’t lucky enough to have lots of people supporting us, complimenting, motivating us and placing us in situations that force us to confront our fears. After the TV show experience is over these people have to do it for themselves anyway so why don’t you skip the embarrassment of bearing your soul on TV and become your very own personal trainer, life coach and stylist right now. As I have said, it takes constant attention to keep your self esteem high. If you leave it then it will erode as the world gets you down. But if you boost it constantly by pushing and motivating yourself, complimenting and treating yourself and putting yourself in situations that challenge yourself and your fears, challenges that you ultimately overcome, then your self-esteem remains high and the world can see this.
And the world will respond appropriately.
Respecting yourself means being fair with yourself and giving credit where its due and telling yourself off when its appropriate. If you respect and love someone then you want them to succeed and do the right things. You want them to do what’s needed for them to feel good about themselves so a kick up the arse sometimes is necessary. It’s a bit like parenting yourself or being your own leader (whatever you want to call it). Sometimes you have to be firm and sometimes you have to be boost a kids self-esteem. Respecting yourself means talking to yourself in a way that you would wish others to talk to you. In fact its about treating yourself as you wish other people to treat you. And treating other people that way to. Respecting yourself means respecting your accomplishments and achievements, not being hard on yourself and writing them off as luck or unimportant because they came about because of inborn abilities or whatever. And if you have none or little accomplishments or achievements then get some and earn the respect of yourself the same way you would earn the respect of others (and earn the respect of others at the same time by as well).
When you respect yourself you act appropriately. You don’t act in a way that will embarrass yourself. You stand up for yourself, your beliefs, the way you choose to live your life and your actions. When you truly believe yourself to be worthy your actions reflect that. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself when your friends don’t ring, you rationalise it, remind yourself that it doesn’t mean that no one wants to be around you, pick yourself and get on with something productive. When you respect yourself you surround yourself with positive things (yeah I know it sounds like the cheesy Destiny’s Child song for women but its true). You choose to be with people that you respect and also respect you. You don’t put up with people who treat you badly because you know your own worth and you are confident that others will see it too. You get on with doing the things that you really enjoy doing and the things you need to do to remain a self-respecting person. You take your responsibilities seriously. You don’t take excessively and you pay your way. You help around the home. You do favours for people etc.
And if you want others to respect you then you should respect them as well. You should show this respect. Being respectful often means being selfless and putting yourself out for others. It means not just taking without giving back. It means sharing whatever it is that you have, even if it means going without.
Having no self-respect is a bit of a downwards spiral. Sometimes you have to have self-respect before you can act in a self-respecting manner. If you have none then you act as if you have none. To break this cycle you remind yourself of your achievements and then build on them. Do something to earn the respect of yourself. Think about what sort of things that you really respect and then do them. Your self-respect will grow.
Thanks for reading my ideas on this subject. A lot of what i have learnt has come from this site so respect to you guys for the inspiration. Hope that i can be of some help.
K3000
This is one of the most beneficial principles any Don Juan can take on. In fact its relevent for any person.
Its as if the world around you is a reflection of how you see yourself. When people say that “its all about you” they mean that its all about the way you see yourself. And you choose how to view yourself. For instance, if you view yourself as a loser when you look in the mirror you see a loser and what the world sees is a loser. You don’t hold yourself well and when you speak your words don’t come out with confidence. But, if you see yourself as a cool person then that idea emanates from you. You hold yourself well and speak confidently. Others see you in that way as well.
Think about the way you act around someone you respect. You treat them well. You speak to them in a way that conveys your appreciation of that person. You compliment them. If you respect yourself you show appreciation of yourself. You don’t condemn yourself for tiny mistakes. You love yourself flaws and all.
If you leave the world to decide upon how you should see yourself then it will decide and it will probably not come to a positive conclusion. But if you are the one who decides your own worth then you are in control. It takes constant attention to keep your self-esteem high. Some people (people who are naturally attractive or are born into large sums of money etc.) receive lots of attention from the world (often superficial attention in my opinion) as they grow up and as adults. They have lots of people explicitly saying and implying that they are worthy people. The effects of this are sort of psychosomatic. Because they believe that they are worthy, they emanate this feeling of worth to the world and the world reflects the same feeling back to them. As a result they believe that they can achieve what it is that they want and they go for it. Their belief makes them perseverant. When they fail they don’t give up because they know that what they want is going to come to them. Most people do not have such luck and some people (me for example) have received a large amount of indication that they are not worthy through explicit and implicit messages from people. The point is that you don’t need other people to tell you that you are capable, cool, attractive, sexy or whatever. If you believe this yourself first then people probably will tell you so but that’s besides the point because it is your own opinion of you that really counts.
So many people nowadays want to go onto some reality TV show so that a personal trainer, a life coach and a handful of stylists will transform them. They want someone else to do all the hard work for them. As I have said, most of us aren’t lucky enough to have lots of people supporting us, complimenting, motivating us and placing us in situations that force us to confront our fears. After the TV show experience is over these people have to do it for themselves anyway so why don’t you skip the embarrassment of bearing your soul on TV and become your very own personal trainer, life coach and stylist right now. As I have said, it takes constant attention to keep your self esteem high. If you leave it then it will erode as the world gets you down. But if you boost it constantly by pushing and motivating yourself, complimenting and treating yourself and putting yourself in situations that challenge yourself and your fears, challenges that you ultimately overcome, then your self-esteem remains high and the world can see this.
And the world will respond appropriately.
Respecting yourself means being fair with yourself and giving credit where its due and telling yourself off when its appropriate. If you respect and love someone then you want them to succeed and do the right things. You want them to do what’s needed for them to feel good about themselves so a kick up the arse sometimes is necessary. It’s a bit like parenting yourself or being your own leader (whatever you want to call it). Sometimes you have to be firm and sometimes you have to be boost a kids self-esteem. Respecting yourself means talking to yourself in a way that you would wish others to talk to you. In fact its about treating yourself as you wish other people to treat you. And treating other people that way to. Respecting yourself means respecting your accomplishments and achievements, not being hard on yourself and writing them off as luck or unimportant because they came about because of inborn abilities or whatever. And if you have none or little accomplishments or achievements then get some and earn the respect of yourself the same way you would earn the respect of others (and earn the respect of others at the same time by as well).
When you respect yourself you act appropriately. You don’t act in a way that will embarrass yourself. You stand up for yourself, your beliefs, the way you choose to live your life and your actions. When you truly believe yourself to be worthy your actions reflect that. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself when your friends don’t ring, you rationalise it, remind yourself that it doesn’t mean that no one wants to be around you, pick yourself and get on with something productive. When you respect yourself you surround yourself with positive things (yeah I know it sounds like the cheesy Destiny’s Child song for women but its true). You choose to be with people that you respect and also respect you. You don’t put up with people who treat you badly because you know your own worth and you are confident that others will see it too. You get on with doing the things that you really enjoy doing and the things you need to do to remain a self-respecting person. You take your responsibilities seriously. You don’t take excessively and you pay your way. You help around the home. You do favours for people etc.
And if you want others to respect you then you should respect them as well. You should show this respect. Being respectful often means being selfless and putting yourself out for others. It means not just taking without giving back. It means sharing whatever it is that you have, even if it means going without.
Having no self-respect is a bit of a downwards spiral. Sometimes you have to have self-respect before you can act in a self-respecting manner. If you have none then you act as if you have none. To break this cycle you remind yourself of your achievements and then build on them. Do something to earn the respect of yourself. Think about what sort of things that you really respect and then do them. Your self-respect will grow.
Thanks for reading my ideas on this subject. A lot of what i have learnt has come from this site so respect to you guys for the inspiration. Hope that i can be of some help.
K3000