The Mind of the Natural Alpha Jerk

[ken chang]

I have a friend in the office. We will call him NAJ(Natural Alpha Jerk). I know what you're thinking. If this is what I call my friends, what do I call my enemies? It's just an endearing term so that I don't have to use his real name.
When I first met NAJ, he was with an HB8 girlfriend(not from work). He then spots an HB9 co worker. So he breaks up with HB8 and HB9 becomes his new girlfriend. This was done very quickly.(2 weeks tops) His relationship with HB9 co worker was short lived(a little under a month)and he goes back to HB8.
Now, many of us wont do these things. Why? Because having an ex in the workplace can be awkward.
It certainly has been for HB9. She's been miserable since they broke up and all she ever posts on Facebook is how sad she is about being single again.
But not for NAJ. He isn't affected in the least. As a matter of fact, he's already working on an HB10 at work and she seems receptive.
Last night NAJ broke up with HB8 again right after an argument on the phone.
Now, this is what I've observed: NAJ isn't affected by any of this. While an AFC would be bothered for days and lose sleep at the thought of possibly offending a female co worker, NAJ wouldn't care less. It's almost like there's a part of the AFC brain which doesn't exist in the brains of the Naturals, the Alphas and the Jerks. That part of the brain is where all our guilt and shame come from. NAJ feels none of those things. It's like Conan. "I live, I love, I slay, and am content." That's all that goes through NAJ's head. No over thinking, no worrying what other people think.
Now, I'm not saying we should do what NAJ does. Otherwise, I would've put this in the tips section.
I'm just fascinated by how the Natural's mind works. When I feel like I've offended someone, I still have to consciously tell myself not to think so much about it, while to NAJ, it just comes...naturally.
By the way, in fairness to NAJ, while he does treat women quite poorly, he treats his bro's like me very well.

 

[Ease]

I hate when people talk about 'natural alpha jerks' like they are different people.

Do you classify yourself as 'incapable beta follower'?

 

[r0cky]

Alphas are all about action, afc's are all about thinking about the action. Alpha's are not afraid to f*** up, afc's can not f*** up, its the end of the world for them to get rejected. The alpha mentality only comes from acting on your male drive before your ego, the little voice in your head, can react and analyze things, waiting for the perfect situation.
For a few days make it into a habit to act before the ego talks, and feelings will be eliminated from the equation.

Fight first, let the courage come after.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The Myth of the Natural

The term “natural” is usually thrown at a guy who has always done well with women. He possesses charm, alpha traits, and the logistical know-how in sealing the deal. He’s so vaunted in the pickup community that a lot of gurus advertise “natural game,” where you too can be natural like the naturals.

I believe that just because you see a guy get laid without game, that doesn’t mean he’s a natural. Man has been getting laid for millions of years without conscious study of game, yet the term is thrown out so frequently that even your father could be considered a natural simply for getting with your mom.

If I were forced to agree on what a natural is, it would be a man who’s a prodigy of sex — someone who gets laid way above other men with no formal instruction in game. This means he was not exposed to any of the 12 DVD “****y Humor” sets or seminars in a hotel room with three dozen other guys. You look at him and think, “Wow, he gets laid automatically. He was born to get laid!”

But he wasn’t. Just because he didn’t read a book doesn’t mean he didn’t learn through trial and error like you did, practicing his game on a large number of women. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t conscious and deliberate with his behavior, incrementally improving his moves and tactics over a long period of time. He has experimented like you have experimented, and he has also connected his attempts with results to figure out what works and what doesn’t.

He may not be obsessive about it enough to log his data into a spreadsheet, but he’s mindful and aware of what he’s doing. He understands the mechanism behind charm and can often turn it on or off depending on what he wants. He has learned the type of humor and story-telling that gets a positive response in women. The last thing you can say about him was that he was born into the world with the “automatic” ability to ƒuck a lot of girls.

The reason he blows you away isn’t because of his genetics (which do play a part), but because of how early he started. A unique set of circumstances threw him into the sex game years before you, during a time he was lucky enough to be surrounded by giggly schoolgirls. By the time you did your first approach, he had already practiced his game on hundreds of women. At this point you may be thinking, “Well, there have to be guys who were born with it. Look at Mozart!"

Nobody questions that Mozart’s achievements were extraordinary compared with those of his contemporaries. What’s often forgotten, however, is that his development was equally exceptional for his time. His musical tutelage started before he was four years old, and his father, also a skilled composer, was a famous music teacher and had written one of the first books on violin instruction. Like other world-class performers, Mozart was not born an expert—he became one.

If the secret to success is deliberate practice, then that 'natural' has practiced hundreds of hours more than you have. If he stays in the game then you cannot overtake him, but if he takes a long break, his natural ability won’t seem so powerful after you surpass his skill. A natural is nothing more than a guy who has been in the game longer than you have. It does not necessarily mean he has better tools to succeed.

Respect the “naturals” you do find in the wild, but don’t think they’re more special than you. They simply started early.

 

[omkara]

Alphas are all about action, afc's are all about thinking about the action. Alpha's are not afraid to f*** up, afc's can not f*** up, its the end of the world for them to get rejected. The alpha mentality only comes from acting on your male drive before your ego, the little voice in your head, can react and analyze things, waiting for the perfect situation.
For a few days make it into a habit to act before the ego talks, and feelings will be eliminated from the equation.

Fight first, let the courage come after.

good post man. It just goes to show, if you wade through all the BS and (sometimes entertaining) infighting, once in a while someone actually says something intelligent on here - ok maybe more than once in a while.

I look at the alpha beta thing as archetypes, more than discrete people like 'this is an alpha,' or 'this is a beta.' Sometimes beta behavior can be useful in LTR's (according to Roissy), or working in politically correct environments (such as a university).

Back to what Rocky said, I can actually fluctuate during the week being more alpha or beta in mindset, depending on how stressed out/exhausted I am (cortisol) or if I've had any recent successes (testosterone). But this quote pinpoints a lot of what the essence of the mindset is.

 

[zekko]

The guy sounds like a serial monogamist.

I think the key with him is he doesn't care about the girls. He wants the sex, and if he sees another pretty girl he wants her. So he goes from one to the next. Because he doesn't really care about any of them, they're all interchangeable to him.

To some extent, this is abundance mindset. The question is, do you really want to train yourself not to care about the girls you go out with?

I think the part that is "natural" with him is that he doesn't care. That's what's setting him apart from most other guys. This may even be some sort of personality disorder (or maybe not). But because of it, and because of his going from girl to girl, he's gotten a lot of practice, like Rollo notes. And the more you practice something, the more you get good at it.

Have you been able to observe what kind of approach he takes with girls? How he gets their interest?

 

[Amw406]

He clearly cares more about getting some then his job. Dont date coworkers!

 

[evansblue]

Sociopath.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I believe that just because you see a guy get laid without game, that doesn’t mean he’s a natural. Man has been getting laid for millions of years without conscious study of game, yet the term is thrown out so frequently that even your father could be considered a natural simply for getting with your mom.

you may be thinking, “Well, there have to be guys who were born with it. Look at Mozart!"

Nobody questions that Mozart’s achievements were extraordinary compared with those of his contemporaries. What’s often forgotten, however, is that his development was equally exceptional for his time. His musical tutelage started before he was four years old, and his father, also a skilled composer, was a famous music teacher and had written one of the first books on violin instruction. Like other world-class performers, Mozart was not born an expert—he became one.

If the secret to success is deliberate practice, then that 'natural' has practiced hundreds of hours more than you have. If he stays in the game then you cannot overtake him, but if he takes a long break, his natural ability won’t seem so powerful after you surpass his skill. A natural is nothing more than a guy who has been in the game longer than you have. It does not necessarily mean he has better tools to succeed.

Rollo did you read a book called "Talent is overrated?" what you´re saying is the same thing endorsed by this book´s author. Below:

Asked to explain why a few people truly excel, most people offer one of two answers. The first is hard work. The other possibility is that the elite possess an innate talent for excelling in their field. We assume that Mozart was born with an astounding gift for music, and Warren Buffett carries a gene for brilliant investing. The trouble is, scientific evidence doesn't support the notion that specific natural talents make great performers.

According to distinguished journalist Geoff Colvin, both the hard work and natural talent camps are wrong. What really makes the difference is a highly specific kind of effort-"deliberate practice"-that few of us pursue when we're practicing golf or piano. Based on scientific research, Talent is Overrated shares the secrets of extraordinary performance and shows how to apply these principles.

I do believe there are naturals. I think basically he is a well rounded guy who gets it, and has never picked up a book about pick-ups. He´s a "street smart" of the dating world. It doesn´t mean he lays many chicks, but he has more changes of doing so! There are people who are born not with skills per se, but with an acute perception of things around him, and a way of learning that is effective.

 

[Single4Life]

Alphas are all about action, afc's are all about thinking about the action. Alpha's are not afraid to f*** up, afc's can not f*** up, its the end of the world for them to get rejected. The alpha mentality only comes from acting on your male drive before your ego, the little voice in your head, can react and analyze things, waiting for the perfect situation.
For a few days make it into a habit to act before the ego talks, and feelings will be eliminated from the equation.

Fight first, let the courage come after.

You're basically saying,

the numbskull caveman that doesn't use his brain is very effective with women precisely because he's too stupid to realize what he's doing in the first place. Probably why the high school jocks don't pan out with successful careers.


So, to the people with higher intelligence, :

Your intellect works well in school, your job, etc... but when it comes to women, turn it off and just go caveman.

Caveman : *walks over confidently* Come here woman, let's dance!"

Intellectual : Hm, I wonder if she wants to dance? I barely know her, we only talked briefly. Plus, I don't think I know how to expertly dance to this song, I might make a fool of myself. And what if she thinks I am too forward for asking her to dance floor so quickly?



That's about it? Turn brain off, stop giving a ****, and just act?

 

[ken chang]

I hate when people talk about 'natural alpha jerks' like they are different people.

Do you classify yourself as 'incapable beta follower'?

As I said above, it's just an endearing term. Stow the hate, friend. What I wrote was a mere observation.

Jeez, some guys can be so sensitive.

 

[PapiChulo]

Actually the trick is in the ability to flip the "caveman" mode switch on and off at will. You can't always listen to your nuttsack or dicck and be its hostage, because sooner or later that is gonna cost you dearly. There is a great deal of intelligence or intuition, whatever you want to call it. P.S. I suppose a true natural by nature may have a genetic advantage such as the ones mentioned above, acute or heightened perception ( maybe due to early exposure), higher hormonal levels, heightened sexual drive perhaps, personality disorder, etc. Other than this I would agree with Rollo.

 

[ken chang]

Alphas are all about action, afc's are all about thinking about the action. Alpha's are not afraid to f*** up, afc's can not f*** up, its the end of the world for them to get rejected. The alpha mentality only comes from acting on your male drive before your ego, the little voice in your head, can react and analyze things, waiting for the perfect situation.
For a few days make it into a habit to act before the ego talks, and feelings will be eliminated from the equation.

Fight first, let the courage come after.

Now, this is a good reply. It's intelligent. Not like the other guy's. Guys can take something from this. Thank you. I wasn't actually looking for advice. It was just an observation I wanted to share. But thank you anyway.

 

[ken chang]

The term “natural” is usually thrown at a guy who has always done well with women. He possesses charm, alpha traits, and the logistical know-how in sealing the deal. He’s so vaunted in the pickup community that a lot of gurus advertise “natural game,” where you too can be natural like the naturals.

I believe that just because you see a guy get laid without game, that doesn’t mean he’s a natural. Man has been getting laid for millions of years without conscious study of game, yet the term is thrown out so frequently that even your father could be considered a natural simply for getting with your mom.

If I were forced to agree on what a natural is, it would be a man who’s a prodigy of sex — someone who gets laid way above other men with no formal instruction in game. This means he was not exposed to any of the 12 DVD “****y Humor” sets or seminars in a hotel room with three dozen other guys. You look at him and think, “Wow, he gets laid automatically. He was born to get laid!”

But he wasn’t. Just because he didn’t read a book doesn’t mean he didn’t learn through trial and error like you did, practicing his game on a large number of women. It doesn’t mean that he wasn’t conscious and deliberate with his behavior, incrementally improving his moves and tactics over a long period of time. He has experimented like you have experimented, and he has also connected his attempts with results to figure out what works and what doesn’t.

He may not be obsessive about it enough to log his data into a spreadsheet, but he’s mindful and aware of what he’s doing. He understands the mechanism behind charm and can often turn it on or off depending on what he wants. He has learned the type of humor and story-telling that gets a positive response in women. The last thing you can say about him was that he was born into the world with the “automatic” ability to ƒuck a lot of girls.

The reason he blows you away isn’t because of his genetics (which do play a part), but because of how early he started. A unique set of circumstances threw him into the sex game years before you, during a time he was lucky enough to be surrounded by giggly schoolgirls. By the time you did your first approach, he had already practiced his game on hundreds of women. At this point you may be thinking, “Well, there have to be guys who were born with it. Look at Mozart!"

Nobody questions that Mozart’s achievements were extraordinary compared with those of his contemporaries. What’s often forgotten, however, is that his development was equally exceptional for his time. His musical tutelage started before he was four years old, and his father, also a skilled composer, was a famous music teacher and had written one of the first books on violin instruction. Like other world-class performers, Mozart was not born an expert—he became one.

If the secret to success is deliberate practice, then that 'natural' has practiced hundreds of hours more than you have. If he stays in the game then you cannot overtake him, but if he takes a long break, his natural ability won’t seem so powerful after you surpass his skill. A natural is nothing more than a guy who has been in the game longer than you have. It does not necessarily mean he has better tools to succeed.

Respect the “naturals” you do find in the wild, but don’t think they’re more special than you. They simply started early.

Wow! Another intelligent reply. One that I completely agree with. Much appreciated. Again, though, the only reason I named him NAJ is because I didn't want to use his real name. I never intended to label him.

 

[ken chang]

The guy sounds like a serial monogamist.

I think the key with him is he doesn't care about the girls. He wants the sex, and if he sees another pretty girl he wants her. So he goes from one to the next. Because he doesn't really care about any of them, they're all interchangeable to him.

To some extent, this is abundance mindset. The question is, do you really want to train yourself not to care about the girls you go out with?

I think the part that is "natural" with him is that he doesn't care. That's what's setting him apart from most other guys. This may even be some sort of personality disorder (or maybe not). But because of it, and because of his going from girl to girl, he's gotten a lot of practice, like Rollo notes. And the more you practice something, the more you get good at it.

Have you been able to observe what kind of approach he takes with girls? How he gets their interest?

Exactly! Well said. He probably cares nothing for the girls and just wants the sex. But I don't mean to judge him. He's a friend of mine. I merely wanted to share my observation of him and find out what you guys think.
And to answer your question: Hell, no, I don't want to be anything like him. I don't want to train myself to not care about girls. I have a steady girlfriend of 2 years and I care about her very much.
The only thing I do want to learn from him is how he isn't affected by bad things like break ups in the workplace. Something like that would've made coming to work everyday very difficult for me.
No, I don't observe his kind of approach. I have my own way and never thought of it. Hmmm...but now that you mention it, sure I'll see how he does it.
Thanks for the reply, Zekko.

 

[ken chang]

He clearly cares more about getting some then his job. Dont date coworkers!

Haha! Maybe you're right about him.
However, I'm not so sure that we shouldn't date our co workers.
My parents were co workers before they became husband and wife. My father loved my mother so much that when she died, he never even bothered to look for another woman to love until the moment of his own death.
I met my current girlfriend at work and we just celebrated our 2nd anniversary as a couple.
To each his own, I guess.

 

[r0cky]

You're basically saying,

the numbskull caveman that doesn't use his brain is very effective with women precisely because he's too stupid to realize what he's doing in the first place. Probably why the high school jocks don't pan out with successful careers.

A caveman is not more stupid, he's more 'street smart' meaning he's better at common sense and acting on his gut sense.
An afc is more 'book smart' he gathers the info and analyzes it to make a decision. One isnt more intelligent than the other.

So, to the people with higher intelligence, :

Your intellect works well in school, your job, etc... but when it comes to women, turn it off and just go caveman.

Caveman : *walks over confidently* Come here woman, let's dance!"

Intellectual : Hm, I wonder if she wants to dance? I barely know her, we only talked briefly. Plus, I don't think I know how to expertly dance to this song, I might make a fool of myself. And what if she thinks I am too forward for asking her to dance floor so quickly?



That's about it? Turn brain off, stop giving a ****, and just act?

Its healthy to think this way, because you've been conditioned to think this way for thousands of years. But try open your mind to something that overthinkers have never dared to practice. (Because if they practiced it they wouldnt be overthinkers anymore).

There's the misconception that not thinking will make you stupid. Now, indulge me for a moment, if I asked you right now to sit there and wait for your next thought to pop into your head, what happens? Try it. If I asked you to look around the room and capture all the details coming into your visual perception, as well as the sounds, what happens? What you just experienced was your mind going blank and you sat there in attention waiting to perceive your next thought, and to perceive the room.

For a fully conscious, and sober, person, the opposite of thinking is not stupidity, its attention, its focus. You experience this while watching an exciting sports game or movie scene. Also, anytime you're "in the zone", while doing some skilled activity. During those times you're not thinking. A lot of people have the misconception that if they shut off their brain they will start drooling and run into walls, this is because they don't trust their ability to focus. Even when you sleep, your brain is completely shut off, but your body still works, and you're still able to avoid pissing yourself, and most of the time from falling off your bed.

This is something new that you and others may not agree with, and that's fine. There are hundreds of books written about this that only scratch the surface of the subject. (The Power of Now, A New Earth, Blink) So if you disagree, it will be fruitless to debate it with me. But I encourage you, if you get a sense of truth in this, to research it more.

 

[r0cky]

Actually the trick is in the ability to flip the "caveman" mode switch on and off at will. You can't always listen to your nuttsack or dicck and be its hostage, because sooner or later that is gonna cost you dearly. There is a great deal of intelligence or intuition, whatever you want to call it. P.S. I suppose a true natural by nature may have a genetic advantage such as the ones mentioned above, acute or heightened perception ( maybe due to early exposure), higher hormonal levels, heightened sexual drive perhaps, personality disorder, etc. Other than this I would agree with Rollo.

Yes, that is exactly it, and this ability mostly comes from experience with women. It also applies to any other skilled activity out there.

 

[Maxwell]

Alphas are all about action, afc's are all about thinking about the action. Alpha's are not afraid to f*** up, afc's can not f*** up, its the end of the world for them to get rejected.

So what's that make someone who acts all the time but consistently f***s up?

 

[Zarky]

It's almost like there's a part of the AFC brain which doesn't exist in the brains of the Naturals, the Alphas and the Jerks. That part of the brain is where all our guilt and shame come from. NAJ feels none of those things.

You summed it up right there.