The Magic / Golden V - The one.

[Bluehefner]

So very long story short. I started working somewhere 4 years ago, became friends with a girl I thought the world of. Low and behold We started seeing eachother. I Played coy for way too long, she got sick of not communicating and things not progressing and started to separate herself. She ended it but reached out several times after I just didn't play my cards right to make it right again.

Well we've kept in touch all these years and I've seen her only a few times in passing and being we lived in same city shes met a friend or 2 of mine that didn't work out for one reason or another, ie. ME.

I often intiate communication via e-mail or text that she is quite receptive and responsive too but it NEVER goes past friendly conversation. I am very complimentary of her (I must be careful as I cannot remind her of why she separated herself in the first place - me expecting everything out of her)

I have no problem meeting women, understand not looking for approval and general concept of attraction etc and I've met and dated tons since her but she remains leaps and bounds as who I want to be with long term. I am 29, getting older and she is currently single (just sitting in front of me) I have been trying to act and not just be passive and dormant but it never sparks initiation of communication that I believe to be KEY.

She has intiated contact with me once in the past month regarding a job I recently got. Is there ANYthing I can do. I am prepared to take 2 steps foward and 1 step back but that doesn't seem to spark anything really. She has told me on more than one occasion that she thinks im great but that it has been too long. I Guess my only option is to sit back and relax and enjoy being single until she realizes she misses my conversation and messages ME. We've been in very constant communication mostly because of me but she is always receptive to it and very nice back but can tell there is no interest or attraction there. I don't talk to any girl like I talk to her and the conversations between her and I are so easy. We always have alot to say to eachother which can be challenging. We have a lot in common including friends as well.

Any ideas besides move on and date someone else that I know I won't be interested in?

 

[Bluehefner]

Bump - So really no advice on this topic?

Please?

 

[Plutoman]

Oneitis. Move on, you will find a woman you like just as much. There is no such thing as 'the one girl'. If you have no troubles dating and meeting women, then get out there and meet more until you find someone you appreciate just as much. I believe it was heartiste/Roissy who went through the math of each person having that 'one girl'.

There's really nothing you can do here. She's already given you her answer. Maybe she'll decide you are worthwhile enough and contact you, but chances are against it.

Actions over words. She says you are great, but.... That 'but' is all you need to know that it's an excuse. If she truly thought you were that great for her, why would time matter?

 

[The Duke]

Bluehefner- I think all you can do is go for it. She is going to be apprehensive and you will have to be persistent and not outcome dependent if you want to get any where. You have to unprogram what you have already taught her about you(you weren't interested but now you are). I wouldn't expect much out of her until you have her convinced of your intentions.

 

[Slickster]

Rebuilding lost interest is very tough and many times impossible.

You need to reinvent yourself or shake up her impression of you in a big way.

I've had success by demonstrating massive social proof. This has to be done subtly so she isn't aware you are trying to impress her.

 

[Skalioppe]

You're firmly Friend-zoned and judging by the level of contact probably not even in the top ten. She's already built up a picture of you and what you are about and it isn't attractive enough for her.

You've made one of the biggest mistakes of complimenting her too much, which makes her ego inflated and yours subservient to it. That also makes her feel superior to you, so makes you less attractive. She's probably already quite self assured as she's probably quite fit, so you've just made matters worse for yourself.

You should have negged, false disqualified and got sexual in texts and communications to let her know you are Alpha and man enough to own her. Once you get to that point you can start complimenting.

If a woman is interested she will initiate every fvcking time and a guarantee there is some man out there she chases like a lost sheep and I bet she offers to svck or hop on his c0ck at the drop of a hat. He's the guy that smashed that ego of hers down so she's looking up in adoration to him.

You have oneitis for this woman and it'll get worse for you. My advice, next time you speak to her neg her a bit, tell her some new exciting stuff you've been doing, mention a couple of chicks who are interested in you (competition makes women more interested) make sure you're the one ending the conversation and tell her you'll call a few days later "I'll call you Thursday or something" and don't (her ego will hate that). Then see if she contacts you. Repeat and see if you can get her more interested.