The man I have been dating has the same perspective as the OP. The player’s life can be lonely, empty & meaningless. But for men who haven’t reached player status it’s romanticized and sought after to such a degree that men who haven’t been there won’t believe you.
They can’t. They don’t realize how other people will use the player for their own aims, they don’t know that pursuit of sexual pleasure for pleasure’s sake deprives you of meaningful connection with another human being, and they are short sighted.
I’ve known many players over the years personally as friends. I married one & I’m seeing one now almost 2 years in.
Today my BF was telling me about his best friend. The best friend is tall, great looking, successful and a good man. He’s in his early 50s and has no issue attracting women. He’s so over endless rotations of plates. He has no companionship, nobody who knows his “story” as Paul Zanka would put it, no wife, no kids, etc. His friends have families and meaningful relationships in their lives and his friends don’t have meaningful time to spend with him because they have more fulfilled lives with their family.
He is disillusioned. A man I know is in the exact same boat. He’s a retired professional athlete, successful, handsome & great looking...mid 50s as well, and also a lifelong bachelor. Exact same feeling about his life. Like he’s missed the boat chasing pleasure and missed out on meaning. It’s sad. That time is gone for good. But 20 years ago neither one of these men would have thought this is how they would feel in their 50s.
My guy is seeing that same writing on the wall. He worries about growing old alone. Even though women flock to him. He has few real friends. My ex husband struggles with it too. Same thing. Loneliness and few friends & waning desire to endlessly chase women.
Maybe it’s that men hit the wall roughly 10 years later than women...but age comes for us all eventually.
I like what Jordan Peterson has to say on the subject. Seek meaning instead of pleasure...but pleasure is a most seductive pursuit, so it’s tough when the disillusionment sets in.