The LJBF myth of future benefits...

[Poosy Marauder]

Lets say that the girl you've been chasing for a while lays the LJBF line on you.

"I really like you but I just need time to myself right now...blah, blah , blah"

How many guys stick around in this situation thinking to themselves.

A. Maybe in some future / different / better set of circumstances her feeling will change and she'll come to me.

B. Maybe she'll introduce me to some of her hot friends.

I say that both of these outcomes are a MYTH that almost never happen.

The best thing you can do is forget about her, move on, treat her as persona non grata, deny she ever existed, ELIMINATE ALL CONTACT AND ALL HISTORY OF HER IN YOUR LIFE.

Its like the old chestnut question, if a tree falls in the forest but no-one sees it, did it really happen.
I say, if you delete a chick from your life, was she ever there to begin with. Delete the girl, delete the pain.
Life becomes a fresh slate.

 

[neuromancer]

Agreed.

Women want to keep around rejected suitors as dishrags.

It happened to me once and it was my fault for letting it happen. Never again.

Once ten years ago, back in my high school days one girl who rejected me kept trying to be my "friend" - yeah right. I was much wiser ten years ago - I simply avoided her.

 

[neuromancer]

Another thing:

All the girls I ever got, I got within 3 days.

If it takes any longer than that you are already rejected.

If she likes you, she makes it easy for you.

If she doesn't like you - you know the crap you will get before she finally rejects you.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

Agree.

If you cut all contact with her, you could stand a chance in future to start everything again.

In that case, you won't be stuck in the "Let's be Friends" zone.

 

[BigBill]

I was really ecited when I first

started reading about the benefeits of social proof and such but I have to agree with you on this one.

I have yet to get a single actual date from having 'proof' around. I get more signs of interest but it's sort of a 'fool's gold' type thing. The 'interest' is only to see if the girl COULD get your attention away from the proof. Once she does, she usually wont follow it up by gving a number from my experience.

I'm not spending a damn minute more these days on a female friend. Fukk that.

 

[gettingthere]

Originally posted by BigBill:
The 'interest' is only to see if the girl COULD get your attention away from the proof. Once she does, she usually wont follow it up by gving a number from my experience.

Good point. Girls can test guys' interest levels all the time, and doing so helps build their confidence. Girls (sub-conscious?) minds: If I approach him and talk to him, can I get him to ask for my number? If I smile at him, can I get him to talk to me, and maybe get him to ask me out? (in this case, a single guy would almost certainly talk to her, a guy with a girl would be a bigger challenge, meaning the girl has more value)

Guys can't really play that game, because guys can only determine a girl's interest level by asking for her number and then getting a date.

 

[lc]

a good post, a true post. They will milk you for your feelings and time in order to feel good about leading you on.

Oh yeah, some CHICKS will use YOU as social proof.

I don't like being used. Once a girl dumped me, she wanted still to hang out & BEGGED if she could at least still visit me & talk even if there was no relationship.

I rejected that faster than a pick up the soap request in a detention facility shower.

F*ck that.

We stand or we fall and I have chosen to stand.

lc

 

[DJintheworks]

my experience is the very second a girl says "im really too busy for a relationship, maybe we should just be friends" just be like "well right now I have alot of friends and I just don't think its going work out like that, I'll call you next week, k?". Never call her, and avoid her for the next month, she will feel like a dumb*ss and will think you really do call the shots. Eventually in the future you will probably cross paths and then you will already kinda know how this girl ticks, and she will be open to a fresh start more than likely. I've pulled this off a couple times. At worst it makes you look like you are the man and don't tolerate bullsh*t even if you don't get some.

 

[Poosy Marauder]

I'm going through a process of re-evaluating the so called "female friends" that I do have.

I find that women are too unreliable to be your closest friends in the end - even the ones you were never attracted to romanticly.

Eventually, they all get boyfriends and then discard you like yesterday's news.

 

[Centaurion]

Why do you guys have so much against LJBF-sone? I'm good friends with sevarl girls from my school, and o'boy it has increased my popularity... All of the other girls see that i'm surrended with girls every break and that makes the more interested...
And actually, my girl friends have fixed me up with several babes. And they help me, like for example they tell me what the particular girl likes, interrests and so on...

 

[gettingthere]

Originally posted by Centaurion:
And actually, my girl friends have fixed me up with several babes. And they help me, like for example they tell me what the particular girl likes, interrests and so on...

hmm, are you sleeping with these girls? That is the main reason I don't like female friends. You spend time (waste time?) with them, but never even get to first base with them. If you already have a girlfriend I guess that's ok.

 

[Centaurion]

no no gettingthere... I just treat them like regular friends, nothing sexual with them.

[This message has been edited by Centaurion (edited 11-15-2001).]

 

[lc]

cent,

I think you might not have understood this topic. It isn't chicks AS friends that's the problem-though, yes they are flightier than f*ck and I do have 'em.

It's when a chick tries to scam you w/ the LJBF. Dishonest bs & a waste of your valuable time if you're a dj with better things to do than to hold some skank's hand and listen to her talk about blowing other guys.

For examples of this scam, just read every third post on this forum. (And a cool forum it is!) The scam has a definite method to it...and an evil stink, too.

I got a chick now, but there isn't a guy I know who doesn't know how this scam works.

Anyhow, peace to you, pal. LIfe is too short.

lc

 

[AbsoluteFreakinChump]

Originally posted by BigBill:
I was really ecited when I first

started reading about the benefeits of social proof and such but I have to agree with you on this one.

I have yet to get a single actual date from having 'proof' around. I get more signs of interest but it's sort of a 'fool's gold' type thing. The 'interest' is only to see if the girl COULD get your attention away from the proof. Once she does, she usually wont follow it up by gving a number from my experience.

I'm not spending a damn minute more these days on a female friend. Fukk that.

I for one HAVE gotton dates by using "Social Proof". One example that I've shared before is there was this RedHaired Girl (Let's call her "Lucy Bell" since that's her name!) that I had an emmense crush on. We went out a few times, but I think she lost interest because I was no challenge to her. I made it too obvious that I REALLY wanted her. After a while, I realized that I was wasting my time chasing her, so I moved-on with my life and flirted with other girls. One day, I ran into a female aquaintence, and we sat together during a class. Well "Lucy" showed-up and all of the sudden, she sat next to me and started talking to me! Then the other girl and I got in my car and went to lunch together after the class was over. I wasn't particularly attracted to the other girl "Carol", it was just something to do. The next night, to my surprise "Lucy" calls me up and asks me out for a date! So now I am a believer in "Social Proof"!

 

[BigBill]

I'm glad proof worked for you.

Still I dont judge a tactic on one success or failure. It's all about what works most and for me the return hasn't been worth the time invested. I've done better getting dates just by being agressive confident and funny and asking girls out.

If proof works for you consistantly then that's a different thing, please, share with the rest of us what you are doing so we can use it too.