The limits in being a challenge...

[htemorp]

It's over, AND YOU <b>LOST</B>. Anyhow, I wouldn't bother trying to find out, but if you really want to find out...personally I would wait till we're doing something and in the middle of it bring it up in a humourous way or something. Do it casually like it's nothing, but if you gonna ask her straight out...it's a lose/lose situation. You're basically showing her how hurt you were and how much interests u had for her.

Whatever man, just read the damn bible.

 

[DiamondMind]

Originally posted by HappyHobo
.. but only in the inception
If you keep being a challenge ... putting her off she will most likely move on to the next guy.

Y'all have no idea how very, very true this is...

At some point, if you want things to continue and grow, you must indeed start to give yourself to her and be less of a challenge. I don't mean turn all AFC, etc., but she will need to know that she is getting something in return. If she doesn't, she will simply move on and try to find someone who will give her what she wants. No matter how 'pimp' you are, she will tire of a 'never-ending' challenge.

Remember, we guys are the prize and all of that stuff, but in reality we are likely not as hot s**t as we think we are

 

[Quick]

Originally posted by HappyHobo
You lost. When you tell a girl off that you aren't gonna take that shiet of her ditching you. You're basically saying, "I was so looking forward to see you, then you ditched me. I am hurt and sad now."

No i have not lost... she is the one that has lost. I admit though i gave her too much power and sometimes it felt she lhad the upper hand on me. I will become conscious of this next time when im with a girl..

What i was trying to do.. is just to tell her that you cant pull that **** on me .. and that i wasnt goign to put up with it....
that was basically it... even if i said it like that i would still sound emotional.. what is a way i can say it so i dont sound emotional?

Your comments on this please.

You don't say it. If she keeps doing it, you stop calling her. Either she has low interest in you and that'll be it, or she realizes she screwed up and tries to make it up to you. You can give in if you think she's worth it.

If she screws up too many times, you can tell her that it's over because you don't have the time to waste with her flakiness. But you don't go whining to her about how her canceling on you hurts your feelings and begging her to start acting right.

It's that kind of thing that caused the trouble in the first place, chastising her about messing up. That makes you seem weak and shows her how much control she has over your state of mind. If you respond to it by showing less interest in her instead, that accomplishes a lot more in getting her to shape up, and allows you to retain control.

 

[HappyHobo]

Originally posted by Quick
It's that kind of thing that caused the trouble in the first place, chastising her about messing up. That makes you seem weak and shows her how much control she has over your state of mind.

So let me get this straight, pointing out a girl's mistakes is counterproductive with the relationship?

To say this makes it seem like the girl is taking a test when i let her in my world.. if she screws up i will not tell her what she did wrong but let her to continue fail....and her punishment is getting shunned by me

Somewhere along these lines.. i believe we must put our foot down.. if a teacher gives you back a test... does the teach not go over the problems you get wrong?

If you were to do the same with a girl [correcting her mistakes.. letting know what she is doing wrong] maybe she will learn and not make that mistake again...And if she then makes the mistake again...that is where you avoid her and show a lack of interest in her.

Now what I, personally, did wrong with the girl is that when i told her what she did wrong.. my tone was too serious... and so she thought i was mad or upset. I dont think it was because i pointed out her mistake that made her lose interest in me but rather the way i said it and how emotional i was about it.

Although, i believe that if i had not pointed out her mistake then she would still have that interest in me....
but also if i had done that.. i believe that she would've made that same mistake again and again..

Originally posted by Pook
If she ever makes you mad, tell her EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE MAD. Amazingly, girls LOVE IT when guys will ***** at them because girls want HONESTY and DIRECTNESS. Many girls will put up a 'test' of standing you up just to see if you will swallow it like a 'nice guy' or if you will have the STRENGTH to put them in their place (Women are not attracted to guys they can control).

This is an OLD POST from Pook...
The girl did make me MAD and i told her EXACTLY WHY I WAS MAD.. and it seems to me she doesnt LOVE THIS.... I WAS HONEST AND DIRECT... but i dont think it payed off...
Somebody explain the validity of pook's statement.... because i do not see it from my experience.

I am reading what EVERYONE is saying.. so i can learn from everyone. Your thoughts on all of this....