the "hot babe" of the office

[wannabesuave]

I'm guessing every office has one - the hot babe. She knows it, she acts like it, and lots of guys go up to her desk all day long, chatting her up and making her laugh. Hell, even her (male) boss is at her desk too much of the time, chatting her up and making her laugh.

Sure, guys are interested in hot babes. But if she's engaged???? This is what I don't get. The girl's engaged, and everyone knows it. She's got a picture of herself hugging the dude right on her desk. And yet.... all day long, one guy after another is over there flirting with her.

And SHE is flirting with every guy, myself included. I've never gotten the kind of deep, penetrating, flirtatious/seductive smiles this girl gives me... I'll be walking down the aisle, minding my own business, probably looking down at a paper I'm holding as I'm walking, and I'll look up and *BAM* there she is, coming at me, staring right into my eyes, head lowered, looking up at me with the most seductive smile on her face, which seems to say "I know you like me, and I like you too!" It's so freakin' intense, I return the smile and have to avert my eyes - it was almost embarrassing - I didn't want the whole office seeing us looking at each other that way. It was so intense, I couldn't keep looking at her - I was always the one to look away first.

So after a bunch of these kind of smiles, I thought "what the hell???? She MUST like me, and I'd be a fool NOT to find out for sure". So I slip her a note one day, basically asking her out to dinner, and what does she do? She flips. Freaks out. Shocked look on her face like she can't believe I did that. And she emails me her answer: "Thanks for the invite, but I don't think my fiance would like that".

(OK, I'm mixing up the story here a little - at the time, I didn't know she had a fiance. I had been trying to hide my interest in her, because I didn't want to be just another one of her office guy friends, kissing up to her every day - I wanted to go out with her. And I didn't know what company policy was regarding dating a co-worker. And I didn't want everyone to know if we started dating, and I sure as hell didn't want everyone to know if she rejected me instead. So I hadn't spoken to her much at all, hadn't noticed the picture on her desk, never spoke to others about her, etc. In fact, I tried not to even look at her much. So that's why I didn't know she had a fiance.)

But STILL! Why did she have to freak out like that and let everyone know I had asked her out and she rejected me?

More importantly, if she had a fiance, why the hell was she giving me all those incredibly flirtatious smiles? (Trust me - I was NOT mis-interpreting a "friendly" smile).

Finally, why do all these other guys, who DO know she is engaged to some dude (and already living with him), why do these guys bother with her at all? What are they hoping to get out of it?

And wouldn't her fiance be pissed to see what goes on in that office every day?

I'm SO FREAKIN' CONFUSED.

Can someone help?

 

[Crazy Asian]

i'm gonna have to call attention wh0re on this one

 

[lordson]

she is engaged, shes not going to go out with ANYBODY in your workplace, no matter how much she "flirts"

she could just be a nice, open, flirty person, who likes smiling, making eye contact

and she also loves the attention shes getting, possibly making her workday easier

dont read in to it too much, which is what you're doing

 

[j0n024]

...I agree I dont understand the whole "Hot babe," at the office syndrome. I still cant imagine why guys just go crazy over one little girl that they see and KNOW that IF they try to get with them they can be charged with sexual harrasment. I think it's just easier to think of them as little kids that love attention and when they get called on it they freak....next time act like they are ugly and you dont want anything to do with them and dont fall into there trap....see how fast they try to get your attention.

 

[wallycleaver]

See, if you were Caucasian (Kavkaz) and living in Russia you would just snatch her. Eh, virginity is a big thing to Chechens and such. So she probably wouldn't cut it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DJUIfhctFJI
Notice the great screen that is set at the 1:08 mark.

 

[Mavrick]

Why worry about her? She works with you. Trust me, it's not worth dwelling on. If you were to get involved, it would eventually go south and work would suck for both of you. So, be glad she made it easy for you.

I was once involved with a girl I worked with and yes she was the hottest babe in the office. We saw each other for 4 months, and it did go south. It's over now. I don't talk to her. I avoid her now at all costs. She eventually saw no more value in me and started walking all over me and that brought me to this website. She would always try to find a way to suck me back in and feel better about herself while I became miserable.

It's all in the way you look at a situation. I change my perspective completely about her. She's no longer someone I'd waste time on. Whether she'd be willing to sleep with me again or (which is very possible). I'd rather find someone that gives me that same sensation and also gets that sensation from me.

So, do yourself a favor and be glad she did the right thing. There are so many women out there, and you just need to widen your circles little by little and day by day.

 

[wallycleaver]

Seriously. Why waste all your time and energy on this? Move on. Either that or make a serious move.

 

[Social Calibration]

You're reading into this situation wayyy too much. She's hot, she knows it, and another big thing you need to remember.... you're in a WORK ENVIRONMENT!

Women tend to be very nice to everyone in a work environment because they like to show others they know what they're doing, is friendly, and can hang with the guys. She wants to show she can handle social pressure and still do her job not being bothered with so many men staring at her.

In a nutshell, she's focused on her career and wants to get a raise.

You say she's flirting, but flirting is so common in a workplace, it's one of the key things that jolly's up a work environment. Tell me, where haven't you worked where there were males and females involved and there were NO FLIRTING at all?

Now does all this mean that it isn't possible to attract her and game her just because she's engaged? Nope, it's very much possible, but that's a whole different story... The point is, she seems very much focused on her career and if you're really really really interested in this one, you're going to have to go a different route. Be creative but not supplicating, and have fun.

 

[DJVladdy]

You are telling Europeans and Americans about Chechens, Kavkaz etc... bro u know they got no clue what the hell you are saying lol