So you've read every article about building confidence. You look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that "you're the man."
You walk around confidently, you let everyone know that "you're the man." Then you see a beautiful woman, she smiles, you see it you know that it could lead to an opening. You smile back, and after an awkward two minutes of glancing you one of you either moves on, or you move towards her blurting out "Your hot, what's your number?" All the while your confidence, poise, and smooth operating has been replaced by the giddy, desperate voice of an AFC. Of course her mood shifts quickly like a storm on the ocean and says "No! Get away from me you geek." She leaves and your left there. The world has not ended, you are not being laughed at by the world, everything continues on just like before. Guess what you just learned that rejection isn't as lethal as you thought it would be. You sigh and move on, thinking about what you did and why it didn't work. So you ask your friends, read magazines and books, and post questions here. The problem is everyone has told you how to build confidence, and how to be charming, C+F, and knowing what signs to look for in a womans IL. But no one has really hit upon converting your confidence into your approach and asking for the number. Well let's talk about this problem.
WHAT YOU SEE WHEN YOU SEE HER:
You see an earthly goddess, she has everything going for her. Every curve gently rounded, her clothes fit her very well and she seems to be a Nightengale amongst Crows. With all that passing through your head, you've already given her a high pedestal before even discovering what qualities she has and does not have. Putting them on such a pedestal is the first step towards failure.
WHAT SHE REALLY IS:
She spent a good hour or so putting make-up on hiding that pimple on her neck that she is hiding by wearing her hair long. She feels fat and believes she needs to spend another 2 hours at the gym. She feels bloated and that her clothes are 2 sizes to small. Though she seems like a bird, observe her dinning with her gal pals and she eats like a large carniverous bird. She has noticed guys glancing at her, and smiling nervously before they run away. She starts to wonder what is wrong with her, she doesn't feel so much like a goddess that can turn men into mush, but more like a gorgon(Medusa was one of those) that will turn men into stone if they look at her. In the end she is just as human as you are, she has the same problems, fears, hopes as most people. She knows she is beautiful, but she is just as nervous to when dealing with the opposite sex, women worry about that fat, ugly guy rejecting them because they aren't good enough. Just like we fear rejection from a seamingly easy score.
WHY WE ARE AFRAID:
When you build up someone's confidence, man or a woman, and tell them that they should expect certain things, they become comfortable with the roles given them. We fear rejection not so much because it will make us look stupid, or we feel that we are not lovealbe. We fear rejection because it upsets the "natural" order of things for us, that what we were told will not always be true. Let's go back to the fat ugly guy for a moment who rejects the HB. This frightens the HB because normally he should be begging for attention. Just the same as a good looking guy will be frightened when that same fat ugly guy hooks up with the HB that he had been gunning for. They fear that the image and role given to them will be invalidated, and then what are they. Quiet simple, they are nothing, they lose their function in the "order" which they belonged to and the "roles" they had been assigned.
FEAR NO MORE:
Understand that life is an uncertain thing, just when you think you got things figured out, life will toss a curve ball at you. That curve ball maybe that seemingly easy target rejecting you. Ask yourself, "Does the world really stop if I get rejected?" You will not be "invalidated" if some girl rejects you, you find your still alive, you breath, and oh my you just noticed a better looking girl. Thirty years from that time, when you got shot down, will a sea of people, a cacophony of sound, and a whirlwind of memories, roat to life at you and laugh at you? No, because no one is going to care. Your mind and instinicts will be satisfied, for the have an answer to the question they always keep asking: "IS SHE INTERESTED IN ME?" If she says no, you got your answer, if she says yes, guess what, you got your answer too. The only time you don't get your answer is when you don't have the balls to ask.
THE BEFORE THE APPROACH:
I want you to say this to yourself before approach a girl "I will be satisfied with whatever the outcome is, because I answered the question I was seeking. If I'm not then I can call Grey Fox out as an AFC." Then remember your confidence, the fact you have nothing to fear and that there are way to many women on the face of the earth to sweat just one. Also remember what they are really like, flesh and blood mortals. So what are you waiting for?
BREAKING THE ICE:
Do:
"Hi, I'm <your name,> what's yours."
"Hi, your rather pretty and I found it hard not to notice you amongst such a large crowd and I wanted to meet you."
"Hi, how's it going."
"Hello, there's something special about you, and I wanted to see what it is that is so special by meeting you."
Hey these are all fine, just have the balls to do it.
Don't:
"Is your father a thief? Cause he must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes."
"Um, uh, your cute, uh number please."
"Hi!(Loud then awakward silence.) Well nice meeting you!(Loud awakward and the speaker runs right off.)
If you get shot down doing something from the Do section or something like it, the girl will not laugh at you. If anything she will respect your confidence. If you try to be sleazy or act like you have never seen a woman before, yeah then your going to get laughed at. But even then she's just going to forget about it the moment you leave her sight. Why? Because women deal with this everyday. If they can let it go, why not you. If you make a mistake fine, just don't do it twice.
BUILDING RAPPORT:
Say hello and give an short intro about yourself, inquire about her life too. Or you can simply just chat about what your doing here, and show that you share a common interest. Just smile and look her in the eyes, it shows her your confident and not dangerous. Use a little kino if things go well, she if she smiles back. Talk for about 20 minutes to give her a general glance at who you are and what your about. Don't be afraid to speak your mind if you share different opinions. Then ask for the number.
ASKING FOR THE NUMBER:
"Well it was nice talking to you, perhaps we would talk later over a cup of coffee or something. That's if you give me your number."
OR
"Can I have your phone number?"
Wow that was so easy. You should try it.
SOME STUFF TO THINK ABOUT:
1. She maybe more scared than you, she just bumped into what seems like a great guy and she doesn't want to blow it either.
2. When she farts, they smell just as bad as ours.
3. Treat her like anyone else(that's been said a lot around here.) Look for something that might be a flaw if that helps remind you she isn't the end all be all of women.
4. If she doesn't smile at you when you smile at her. There is something fundamentaly wrong with her.
5. All women are not programed to say no. Otherwise they would be spending there time along with B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend) and a vibrator just isn't as warm and censual as a man can be.
6. Really what do you have to lose?
7. Your a DJ, your purpose is to pursue women for your pleasure. The other part of the time, you spend it improving yourself. So do what is natural and fulfill both purposes.
8. Believe in what your saying, think before you speak and don't yap her ear off.
9. If average looking girls will give you glances when you are going places, then some women find you attractive. Why not find out just how attracted they are to you?
10. Simplify why you should approach a girl: Getting A Girl = Sex = Fun. Not ASKING = No Sex = No Fun.
11. Women know sex feels good, you know it feels good. Believe me some women would like a guy to approach them and start the courtship process so you both can get to the feel good part.
12. You are MALE, they are FEMALE, what more reason do you need. They are cute, fun to mess around with and can do your laundry, and cook if you know how to ask right. What more do you want! Go and get them, they are yours for the taking.
-Grey Fox
You walk around confidently, you let everyone know that "you're the man." Then you see a beautiful woman, she smiles, you see it you know that it could lead to an opening. You smile back, and after an awkward two minutes of glancing you one of you either moves on, or you move towards her blurting out "Your hot, what's your number?" All the while your confidence, poise, and smooth operating has been replaced by the giddy, desperate voice of an AFC. Of course her mood shifts quickly like a storm on the ocean and says "No! Get away from me you geek." She leaves and your left there. The world has not ended, you are not being laughed at by the world, everything continues on just like before. Guess what you just learned that rejection isn't as lethal as you thought it would be. You sigh and move on, thinking about what you did and why it didn't work. So you ask your friends, read magazines and books, and post questions here. The problem is everyone has told you how to build confidence, and how to be charming, C+F, and knowing what signs to look for in a womans IL. But no one has really hit upon converting your confidence into your approach and asking for the number. Well let's talk about this problem.
WHAT YOU SEE WHEN YOU SEE HER:
You see an earthly goddess, she has everything going for her. Every curve gently rounded, her clothes fit her very well and she seems to be a Nightengale amongst Crows. With all that passing through your head, you've already given her a high pedestal before even discovering what qualities she has and does not have. Putting them on such a pedestal is the first step towards failure.
WHAT SHE REALLY IS:
She spent a good hour or so putting make-up on hiding that pimple on her neck that she is hiding by wearing her hair long. She feels fat and believes she needs to spend another 2 hours at the gym. She feels bloated and that her clothes are 2 sizes to small. Though she seems like a bird, observe her dinning with her gal pals and she eats like a large carniverous bird. She has noticed guys glancing at her, and smiling nervously before they run away. She starts to wonder what is wrong with her, she doesn't feel so much like a goddess that can turn men into mush, but more like a gorgon(Medusa was one of those) that will turn men into stone if they look at her. In the end she is just as human as you are, she has the same problems, fears, hopes as most people. She knows she is beautiful, but she is just as nervous to when dealing with the opposite sex, women worry about that fat, ugly guy rejecting them because they aren't good enough. Just like we fear rejection from a seamingly easy score.
WHY WE ARE AFRAID:
When you build up someone's confidence, man or a woman, and tell them that they should expect certain things, they become comfortable with the roles given them. We fear rejection not so much because it will make us look stupid, or we feel that we are not lovealbe. We fear rejection because it upsets the "natural" order of things for us, that what we were told will not always be true. Let's go back to the fat ugly guy for a moment who rejects the HB. This frightens the HB because normally he should be begging for attention. Just the same as a good looking guy will be frightened when that same fat ugly guy hooks up with the HB that he had been gunning for. They fear that the image and role given to them will be invalidated, and then what are they. Quiet simple, they are nothing, they lose their function in the "order" which they belonged to and the "roles" they had been assigned.
FEAR NO MORE:
Understand that life is an uncertain thing, just when you think you got things figured out, life will toss a curve ball at you. That curve ball maybe that seemingly easy target rejecting you. Ask yourself, "Does the world really stop if I get rejected?" You will not be "invalidated" if some girl rejects you, you find your still alive, you breath, and oh my you just noticed a better looking girl. Thirty years from that time, when you got shot down, will a sea of people, a cacophony of sound, and a whirlwind of memories, roat to life at you and laugh at you? No, because no one is going to care. Your mind and instinicts will be satisfied, for the have an answer to the question they always keep asking: "IS SHE INTERESTED IN ME?" If she says no, you got your answer, if she says yes, guess what, you got your answer too. The only time you don't get your answer is when you don't have the balls to ask.
THE BEFORE THE APPROACH:
I want you to say this to yourself before approach a girl "I will be satisfied with whatever the outcome is, because I answered the question I was seeking. If I'm not then I can call Grey Fox out as an AFC." Then remember your confidence, the fact you have nothing to fear and that there are way to many women on the face of the earth to sweat just one. Also remember what they are really like, flesh and blood mortals. So what are you waiting for?
BREAKING THE ICE:
Do:
"Hi, I'm <your name,> what's yours."
"Hi, your rather pretty and I found it hard not to notice you amongst such a large crowd and I wanted to meet you."
"Hi, how's it going."
"Hello, there's something special about you, and I wanted to see what it is that is so special by meeting you."
Hey these are all fine, just have the balls to do it.
Don't:
"Is your father a thief? Cause he must have stolen the stars and put them in your eyes."
"Um, uh, your cute, uh number please."
"Hi!(Loud then awakward silence.) Well nice meeting you!(Loud awakward and the speaker runs right off.)
If you get shot down doing something from the Do section or something like it, the girl will not laugh at you. If anything she will respect your confidence. If you try to be sleazy or act like you have never seen a woman before, yeah then your going to get laughed at. But even then she's just going to forget about it the moment you leave her sight. Why? Because women deal with this everyday. If they can let it go, why not you. If you make a mistake fine, just don't do it twice.
BUILDING RAPPORT:
Say hello and give an short intro about yourself, inquire about her life too. Or you can simply just chat about what your doing here, and show that you share a common interest. Just smile and look her in the eyes, it shows her your confident and not dangerous. Use a little kino if things go well, she if she smiles back. Talk for about 20 minutes to give her a general glance at who you are and what your about. Don't be afraid to speak your mind if you share different opinions. Then ask for the number.
ASKING FOR THE NUMBER:
"Well it was nice talking to you, perhaps we would talk later over a cup of coffee or something. That's if you give me your number."
OR
"Can I have your phone number?"
Wow that was so easy. You should try it.
SOME STUFF TO THINK ABOUT:
1. She maybe more scared than you, she just bumped into what seems like a great guy and she doesn't want to blow it either.
2. When she farts, they smell just as bad as ours.
3. Treat her like anyone else(that's been said a lot around here.) Look for something that might be a flaw if that helps remind you she isn't the end all be all of women.
4. If she doesn't smile at you when you smile at her. There is something fundamentaly wrong with her.
5. All women are not programed to say no. Otherwise they would be spending there time along with B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend) and a vibrator just isn't as warm and censual as a man can be.
6. Really what do you have to lose?
7. Your a DJ, your purpose is to pursue women for your pleasure. The other part of the time, you spend it improving yourself. So do what is natural and fulfill both purposes.
8. Believe in what your saying, think before you speak and don't yap her ear off.
9. If average looking girls will give you glances when you are going places, then some women find you attractive. Why not find out just how attracted they are to you?
10. Simplify why you should approach a girl: Getting A Girl = Sex = Fun. Not ASKING = No Sex = No Fun.
11. Women know sex feels good, you know it feels good. Believe me some women would like a guy to approach them and start the courtship process so you both can get to the feel good part.
12. You are MALE, they are FEMALE, what more reason do you need. They are cute, fun to mess around with and can do your laundry, and cook if you know how to ask right. What more do you want! Go and get them, they are yours for the taking.
-Grey Fox
