The girl likes me, but she's not grateful or interested in me

[skinnydart]

I met this girl, we seemed to hit it off right away, we're both 17-year-old juniors in college, I had no trouble snagging the digits, getting a date, she's constantly txting me saying stuff like "hope you're having a good day" sending me nice emails, calling me, and posting stuff on her xanga like: "I love every second I spend with him, he's such a good listener, we have so much in common, he is so cute, I've not felt this way in a long time, I love talking to him" so the IL appears to be high.

So the problem is that she doens't seem to interested in me. A convo went like this.

ME: So is this your last class for the day?
HER: Yeah, it's such a nice day outside so I'll probably go to blah blah and do blah blah for the rest of the day.
ME: Yeah, I wish I didn't have to go to the office. Actually I have a job interview in a couple min.
HER: cool, yeah actually on nice days like this me and rebecca usually...blah blah. (no responces like "cool, where are you trying to get a job at?" or afterwards "so how did the interview go?" like i would do to her if she had the interview)

or I might say

ME "Sorry we didn't get to finish our convo the other day, I've been moving all weekend."
HER "O, no problem, i was actually doing homework all weekend, I had this paper...blah, blah, class, blah, presentation, blah, blah, 3pm". (No: "O you moved? Where?) but yet I've found out about everything there is to know about her dorm, ra's, hallmates, her relationships with them, etc, but she doesn't appear to even care where i live.

She's like never asked me a question about myself. So is she just useing me for an additional ear? She doens't appear to be that grateful either. Like I kinda saved her final presentation in one class by getting the lcd projector working for her but she never even said thanks.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

ask her out, if she says no, forget her.

 

[Climax]

My opinion

[EDIT] I see whats going on here.... She is just using you as someone that will listen to go on and on about HER.... So like u say... she isnt really interested in YOU, she's just happy that she found someone like u, that is willing to listen to all her crap.

What u need to do is ask her out on a date, and when u speak to her, MAKE SURE that she doesnt ONLY speak about herself, and if she does, comfront her and ask her why she doesnt care about anything about YOU, all she does is go on and on about HER and HER stuff etc... If she genuingly likes u, then it should show after a date or 2... if things go well, then ask her out... If she seems like someoe that is just using you to listen to her blab away, then tell her to go find another idiot to take advantage of.
(I would make this longer, but i'm on my way out, hopefully u get what i'm saying)


Laterz...

 

[librito]

she is an attention *****,,, read no more

 

[skinnydart]

ask her out, if she says no, forget her.

I have, we've gone out a couple time.

 

[skinnydart]

What would be the best way of bringing it up without making myself look like an a.ss about it? I would feel kinda wierd just saying "why don't you ask me questions".

Actually, I would much prefer to listen and have her do all the talking, but she doesn't say a thing is seems until I ask her a question.

 

[flexion_]

Hmm... I personally hate women like that - I'd just give her the next as that sounds like too much work and not a lot of fun.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I have met a girl like this. They're no good. They're selfish, self-centered and self-absorbed in their own little worlds. She fits all the behaviour patterns of these types of girls.

Avoid her like the black plague. She'll suck the life out of you. Believe me, I've been there, done that.

 

[earthshyne]

I hate to support the majority here, but I think they're right. She's so self-focused that she'd be happy with a lap dog as long as it listened to her self-absorbed drivel all day.

She still may be a great lay, and if that's the case, go for it. But don't expect anything from her remotely close to interest in you or your life.

 

[JonJack]

I say use her as an experience. You're still young. You could use the experience. Observe her behaviour. Listen to her answers. Put some moves on her and see her response. If you wanna AFC, go ahead, but do it with an open mind. Open mind in terms of accepting whatever the outcome. The best way to learn is to fail and fall. Then get up, brush the dirt off and go at it again.

Don't really have to ask her why she doesn't ask you questions. She doesn't because she doesn't want to know the answer. I can imagine her not being interested in interviews or moving. Simple as that.

You could always 'herd' her towards asking you a question by coming across as being interested about a topic that she's talking about but not giving out everything. For example, she says something like "You know I really love hip hop. 50 cent is the best". You could then go, "I love hip hop too. It's so great to dance to". Since there's a connection between both your interests, it will naturally get her interested. From there she might ask you what's your favorite hip hop artiste or ask you which clubs you've been hitting. If she doesn't, then I conclude that this girl is only interested in the sound of her voice.

 

[Kaine]

Skinnydart, she likes you, but not likes you likes you.

A girl that is really into you will be interested in you.

Treat her as a friend and get her to hook you up with one of her hot friends.


Kaine

 

[tigre]

hey I´m also in the same situation as you. I met this chick( HB7 )in a club and danced with her and got her phone#.I talked to her about 2 times on the phone and she just keeps talking about herself n sh1t. I really dont care cause Im not looking for anything serious( Im an AFC in recovery and Im just trying to get rid of my shyness).Anyways Ill set a date for this weekend and if she doesnt put out then I´ll next her. hehe . like earthshyne said
"She still may be a great lay, and if that's the case, go for it. But don't expect anything from her remotely close to interest in you or your life."

 

[skinnydart]

You could always 'herd' her towards asking you a question by coming across as being interested about a topic that she's talking about but not giving out everything. For example, she says something like "You know I really love hip hop. 50 cent is the best". You could then go, "I love hip hop too. It's so great to dance to". Since there's a connection between both your interests, it will naturally get her interested. From there she might ask you what's your favorite hip hop artiste or ask you which clubs you've been hitting. If she doesn't, then I conclude that this girl is only interested in the sound of her voice.

Yeah, I've tried that. Like when I mentioned the part about the interview she completely blew if off. You'd think "yeah, I've got to head off to an interview i have in a couple minutes" would spark a few questions.

Like the only things she knows about me I've told her without her asking.

HER: Whenever I go out to eat I can't standing getting steaks, it's so stupid to pay $25 on one meal!
ME: I know, like for me, spending blah, blah, blah
HER: We have a lot in common.

That's the format of most of our conversations.

She talks
I respond, usually throwing in my own related experience/persepctive/story
She either keeps talking or waits until I ask her another question

 

[Veracity]

Hold on a minute...

Maybe she doesn't want to seem nosey. Have you considered this or do you just assume that all women want to pry into your business???

If a guy had that same conversation with me, I may have replied in a similiar fashion.

As far as I'm concerned, if anyone wants me to know something, they'd tell me. Period.

You should gauge her interest in you from other factors, not just whether she has nosey arse follow-up questions to your comments.

Not all women are prying, attention hoes.

 

[Interpol]

Friends zone biatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[skinnydart]

Friends zone biatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got some good kino during our date tonight. I had my arm around her for the good part of the movie, with her leaning up against me, then she had to "show me" how oilly her hands were (from the popcorn) by running her fingers through mine.

...yeah and whoever said Assault On Precinct 13 wasn't a good movie for a date was wrong.

 

[skinnydart]

As far as I'm concerned, if anyone wants me to know something, they'd tell me. Period.

True, but she doesn't really volunteer much about herself either. I just ask questions about herself and she answers them.

You should gauge her interest in you from other factors, not just whether she has nosey arse follow-up questions to your comments.

She just called me (like an hour after our date) and asked me out for this Satuday. Then she called me an hour later and said she wanted a picture of me so she could "show a friend who thinks she might know me". Yeah whatever.

 

[California Love]

This has nothing to do with male-female relationships bro.


She's simply a bad listener, and probably self-absorbed. If you stick to it, you will find that more and more, the relationship will center around her. These people tend to ignore the feelings and needs of people around them. Being in the highest IL point, it is stupifying to see that this girl doesn't hear anything that's coming out of your mouth. From this, you know that your interaction with her can only go downhill.


For your sake and dignity, I'd definitely recommend moving on, despite her strengths.

 

[JonJack]

Man, whether the two of them have a good relationship or a lousy ass one is really unimportant. With skinnydart, the good thing is he's getting going on the whole thing.

Next her only if you've got something better to get next to or you feel better being away from her. Sometimes it's good to see things through till the end. Then there'll be a lot less questions you'll be asking yourself and others. Be strong first though. Unless of course you're willing to go down the path of utter lameness and loserness in order to see what it's like.