I'll just say upfront that I trust my girlfriend, but that trust is being tested, and I don't think I should trust blindly.
We've been together seriously since October, but were in somewhat of a friends with benefits situation since May of last spring. She said she fell hard for me. She got out of a terrible marriage of four years with a very possessive and crazy ex-husband a little over a year ago. She told me there was no sex in the last two years of the marriage and for a year after the divorce until I came back into her life. I should also mention this is a LDR.
I've recently come out of a roller coaster ride with her that started when she stopped taking her birth control pills. Intense fighting on the phone over nothing and her completely picking me apart was the norm for about three weeks. It was intense and emotionally draining for me. She started taking them again and we went through about another week of craziness and threats of breaking up before her body got adjusted. She's a whole different person now and back to herself. Now, she is talking about stopping them again only two weeks after starting and it's really bugging the **** out of me. I just want her to make up her mind. She feels the pill is bad for your body, and I'm cool with that I just want to be prepared for the storm that comes when she stops.
My main problem concerns this guy that she's known since last summer that is a mutual friend of one of her girlfriends. They said all along they couldn't figure out if he was gay. He does pilates, yoga, bar method, goes to dance at gay night with them, very effeminate voice, dad turned out gay after marrying his mom, talks about guys bodies, etc. etc. Not saying any one of those things really makes you gay but everything is in place.
My girlfriend told me that he had rubbed her body one night in the hot tub before we were official and then came out one day and told me that they 'hooked up' a few months after this incident. She said that she didn't really feel like he was into it and that he was only doing it to make her feel better about missing me! I don't know I just think this is a little weird that she would tell me this, but I also feel like she may be testing me to see if I would get jealous. Again, this is before we became an official couple. The possessive ex husband really ****ed with her mind and she doesn't want another one of those situations so maybe I thought she's screening me hard.
So the current problem is this. When they went dancing at this gay night couple of weeks ago my girlfriend blacked out from drinking and called me from his apartment when she got there at about 1 in the morning. He is an ex alcoholic and doesn't drink and she couldn't drive. She told me the situation about where she was and that she was okay and says she has no recollection of the conversation. I didn't act jealous about it the next day and just played it cool. She said she woke up and saw the back of his head in bed and freaked out because she didn't know where she was and then soon realized. She also told me that he told her she passed out in about 20 seconds and assuming all this is true nothing sexual happened.
Last night she said she was only going out for a couple of drinks and ended up at the same gay night dance club with this guy and another girlfriend. I called her at about 1 in the morning and she picked up and said she was at his place again and couldn't stay at her place. She just renovated a house and she has no wall coverings and no bed or furniture and was scared to stay there. She said she loved me in front of him on the phone and we ended the conversation. She didn't sound that drunk. Now, this morning I slept in late and had my cell ringer off. She left 7 voicemails and was calling about every 20-30 minutes thinking something was wrong, if I was mad at her, didn't think we hung up mad last night, how much she loved me, she was stalking me in a joking way, blah blah blah. It seemed excessive.
She called again as I was listening to the voicemails and I picked up and we talked. Said that she knew we talked but doesn't really know the details of the conversation. Said she was a good girl and couldn't understand why I wouldn't pick up this morning. She also said that she woke up with her hand on his chest and freaked out for a moment and got up out of bed.
I'm secure about our relationship and trust her and all that jazz, but I don't care how confident you are we're all human and people start to have concerns about this sort of thing. I'm a little more concerned about the level of drinking where she doesn't remember anything. And, I just get the sneaking suspension she is testing me, because she said that she abhors cheaters and cheating and she has only done it once to a boyfriend in high school. I'm not so sure that the story about them having sex is true. How could this guy if he is able to have sex with her once not try and want do it again? What are other's thoughts about this whole situation?
We've been together seriously since October, but were in somewhat of a friends with benefits situation since May of last spring. She said she fell hard for me. She got out of a terrible marriage of four years with a very possessive and crazy ex-husband a little over a year ago. She told me there was no sex in the last two years of the marriage and for a year after the divorce until I came back into her life. I should also mention this is a LDR.
I've recently come out of a roller coaster ride with her that started when she stopped taking her birth control pills. Intense fighting on the phone over nothing and her completely picking me apart was the norm for about three weeks. It was intense and emotionally draining for me. She started taking them again and we went through about another week of craziness and threats of breaking up before her body got adjusted. She's a whole different person now and back to herself. Now, she is talking about stopping them again only two weeks after starting and it's really bugging the **** out of me. I just want her to make up her mind. She feels the pill is bad for your body, and I'm cool with that I just want to be prepared for the storm that comes when she stops.
My main problem concerns this guy that she's known since last summer that is a mutual friend of one of her girlfriends. They said all along they couldn't figure out if he was gay. He does pilates, yoga, bar method, goes to dance at gay night with them, very effeminate voice, dad turned out gay after marrying his mom, talks about guys bodies, etc. etc. Not saying any one of those things really makes you gay but everything is in place.
My girlfriend told me that he had rubbed her body one night in the hot tub before we were official and then came out one day and told me that they 'hooked up' a few months after this incident. She said that she didn't really feel like he was into it and that he was only doing it to make her feel better about missing me! I don't know I just think this is a little weird that she would tell me this, but I also feel like she may be testing me to see if I would get jealous. Again, this is before we became an official couple. The possessive ex husband really ****ed with her mind and she doesn't want another one of those situations so maybe I thought she's screening me hard.
So the current problem is this. When they went dancing at this gay night couple of weeks ago my girlfriend blacked out from drinking and called me from his apartment when she got there at about 1 in the morning. He is an ex alcoholic and doesn't drink and she couldn't drive. She told me the situation about where she was and that she was okay and says she has no recollection of the conversation. I didn't act jealous about it the next day and just played it cool. She said she woke up and saw the back of his head in bed and freaked out because she didn't know where she was and then soon realized. She also told me that he told her she passed out in about 20 seconds and assuming all this is true nothing sexual happened.
Last night she said she was only going out for a couple of drinks and ended up at the same gay night dance club with this guy and another girlfriend. I called her at about 1 in the morning and she picked up and said she was at his place again and couldn't stay at her place. She just renovated a house and she has no wall coverings and no bed or furniture and was scared to stay there. She said she loved me in front of him on the phone and we ended the conversation. She didn't sound that drunk. Now, this morning I slept in late and had my cell ringer off. She left 7 voicemails and was calling about every 20-30 minutes thinking something was wrong, if I was mad at her, didn't think we hung up mad last night, how much she loved me, she was stalking me in a joking way, blah blah blah. It seemed excessive.
She called again as I was listening to the voicemails and I picked up and we talked. Said that she knew we talked but doesn't really know the details of the conversation. Said she was a good girl and couldn't understand why I wouldn't pick up this morning. She also said that she woke up with her hand on his chest and freaked out for a moment and got up out of bed.
I'm secure about our relationship and trust her and all that jazz, but I don't care how confident you are we're all human and people start to have concerns about this sort of thing. I'm a little more concerned about the level of drinking where she doesn't remember anything. And, I just get the sneaking suspension she is testing me, because she said that she abhors cheaters and cheating and she has only done it once to a boyfriend in high school. I'm not so sure that the story about them having sex is true. How could this guy if he is able to have sex with her once not try and want do it again? What are other's thoughts about this whole situation?
