The Games People Play

[Solomon79]

I just wondered what the rest of you thought about this, and whether any of you feel the same way.

I am now 25, and so technically just about qualify for this forum, although I feel (if that is possible) quite a bit older. Maybe I am simply jaded.

This affects all aspect of my life, home, career, family and sexual relationships. It's a status thing. It's something we are all confronted with, every day of our lives, as men.

The social games that people play. Particularly among men. You know, the sly comments co-workers will make in the office to get one up on you, to make themselves look better in front of the boss. Or similar comments in front of women, to rise oneself in the pecking order.

I have never, and perhaps never will, be able to master these social games and overcome them. I am really struggling with this, because I am finding that it is limiting my game - as well as my career prospects.

I simply do not want to tread on other people, unnecessarily. I have too much integrity.

When surrounded by people who know how to play these games, I can feel myself sinking to a low status position. I just don't want to become like them, I don't want to compromise my character. But I don't want to end up at the bottom of the heap by allowing others to walk all over me.

Some of you guys must know what I am talking about here.

How do you deal with these things, without falling to the lowest common denominator?

 

[Lost In Translation]

i feel the same way

everything you say is true and i have been there

the whole world is set up to support these people

i struggled with it for a long time


save your money and start your own business

that is the answer


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[TheMainMan]

Mate I learnt a few years back that to get on in this world you need to grow some balls.

People will always try and put you down, usually because they see you as some sort of threat. Take it as a compliment.

You need to know when to talk back and know when to play it cool and show them that their comments don't affect you. Only you will know which sitation to do what in.

As for integrity well I think it is an excellent quality to have and women see that over those who need to talk themselves up. Integrity becomes a far more important quality to have as you become a mature DJ.

In life you sometimes will tread on people, but hopefully never intentionally. I always think of the saying 'to avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'. Lead your life as you see fit, treating everyone who deserves it with respect and **** off the rest of them.

 

[SAYNO]

True words

Start your own bussiness, avoid american women (for wives) and
save your money for the coming trainwreck that we are headed for!

Sayno'

 

[iveyleeger]

save your money and start your own business

word. I did that. for that very reason. you may actually put up with more bs at first, but if you suceed, the freedom is yours. now I can't imagine ever giving a sh-t what some two-bit corporate schmoo azz-kissing his way up the ladder would have to say. my new problem is: arrogance ;-)

 

[Metalixia]

I know what you mean mate.

I'm 17, so I don't qualify for this forum, but I understand you.

To me, life's about winners and losers. What ever game you play, someone will always get pissed on.

 

[gixxer]

I've struggled with this for a long time. I'm actually in the process of getting my "career game" together and I'm 100% comitted to it. Believe it or not I've actually been pushed around by FEMALE co-workers in the past because I used to have the model that you should always be nice - especially to women.

The bottom line is that you can have high status, be a high acheiver and win at interpersonal relationships AND still be a good upstanding guy. You need to drop the "nice guy" BS where you think that if you win or you don't let everyone fvck you then you're not being a good guy. Took me a long time to figure that out.

I've done all David DeAngelo's courses and they've totally changed me both with women and with interpersonal relationships in general. I'm applying a lot of the status stuff from the Mastery Series at work right now.

gixx

 

[penkitten]

can i get that on a tshirt?

 

[gixxer]

Get what on a T-shirt?

gixx

 

[Brainman]

If you look at it as a social game, that implies that there are rules to be followed. Learn the rules inside and out, if they are really set in stone. I tend to think we make our own rules, in the social world. This forum seems to be a good place to learn some basic rules, but real life is the best place to practice.

It may be better to conceptualize it as a social battleground. In games people don't tend to really get hurt. In the real world, you'll get kicked, stomped on and disregarded if you seem weak.

-BM

 

[joekerr31]

i work in the corporate world and i make six figures and im 30.

ill tell you how i survive while being an upstanding nice guy.

I treat others with respect, Im good at what i do, im willing to walk away and i dont take cr(p from anyone. even the CEO knows that if he treats me with disrespect ill pack my bags.

the thing in the corporate world is that its all built around performance. if you are a high performer, you can treat people like cr*p if you want to (personally I don't. i find my day more enjoyable surrounded by people who treat me well because I treat them well.)

and when the snakes screw with me, I hit them with everything I've got. I do my best to out perform them and to get senior management thinking that they need should be removed from the business because they cause more trouble than they are worth.

but the big thing is you have to be willing to walk away. you can't go to work every day thinking you are a slave. you have to go in appreciating that you have a job that makes you money but should that job start to impinge on your quality of life that you will walk away from it.

so much of the key in life seems to be self respect and not willing to sacrifice it. whether that be with women, with co-workers, with friends, whoever.

i try to be one of the strong ones who fights the system from the inside out. i excel and then use that status to espouse an ideology of compassion and treating others with respect and dignity.

but i must admit, i do see people getting trampled on a daily basis (in relationships, in their jobs, etc.)

I want to tell them to respect themselves. I don't know if i'd say 'grow a pair of balls' because i don't think of it like that. you don't have to "fight back" you just have to "defend your self respect."

hope that helped.
J