The funny, talkative guy or the mysterious, mature, quiet guy?

[Tails]

Now I bet this is a question everyone has thought about.

The funny guy or the mysterious, mature, quiet guy?

Maybe there's girls out there that like both equally. Maybe there's more that like only one of them. It's been troubling me for a while. I think I may have a split personality.

Sometimes I am quiet, mature and less talkative... sometimes I am the worlds funniest guy who's so happy that he seems he has won the god damn lottery. Sometimes I am really immature and make stupid comments, make loud dumb noises. Sometimes I wink at girls and call them a hottie or a cutie.

But in the back of my mind, I do not like the immature person side of me. I like the mysterious, not TOO quiet, confident, happy side of me. This seems to attract many girls being this person. But the fact that I have school pals around me contantly during lunch breaks... I can't help myself but break into jokes with a good pal of mine... and then I start getting carried away by making smart comments to girls or giving them a wink (which usually always makes them giggle and smile), even just to say random things to girls... it's sometimes fun I must admit. Just to see their reaction you know? I really don't know. I am starting to forget the real me these days.

Who am I !?

 

[Big Pappy]

At 19, you haven't finished developing your personality. In fact, you're likely to continue to have subtle changes for the rest of your life. Don't be concerned with which persona a girl likes best. Be concerned with which one you feel most comfortable with. It is this "comfort" that enables confidence, which is attractive to women.

 

[Tails]

Thanks alot pal! I'm going to have fun at school today, winking at all the hunny bunnies and this one girl wants me so bad, I know it. She can't take her eyes off me. She even followed me to class "accidently" - Haha, silly girl. I was having a split personality at that time, lol. Maybe today, I shall say hello.

 

[Porky]

I much prefer to be the funny guy. I make friends easily, and I only become too loud when I've had something to drink. Even then I can realize what I'm doing and control myself.

I think that a transition from one to the other is the best. I used to be much more outgoing and loud, and the only reason I'm not now is because I don't have to be. I'm friends with so many people that I can be more quiet and reserved and have people approach me.

 

[Tails]

No matter how many people I'm with, they usually wait for me to come out with something funny. They talk to me and tell me stories, then wait for me to make a smart ass comment. It would be weird if I didn't. Cause I usually always do.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Just work on improving your inner self. Maintain high confidence, good physcial fitness, and good grades for future success. Don't be shy and just keep talking to women. Simultaneously be mysterious but let your humor come shining through. There isn't a real cookie cutter strategy, because you will come accross as putting an act on. If its internal, then its a natural flow and you'll stay controlled and confident.

 

[Trogdawg]

You dont have a split personality. That is your personality. Sometimes your quiet, sometimes your not. Sometimes you are the comedian, sometimes you are not. Don't think on it, just go for it. Why are you asking us what kind of personality you should be? You are the only person who can answer that. Be what you want, the girls will come either way. Trust me even the fattest slob has a niche of girls who are attracted to him. You'll get the girls, after you find yourself.

 

[ScrewIt]

im 19 and i find myself in a similar situation.

with girls, half the time im C&F and other half im back to my serious self. my serious self is more quiet, mature, and semi talkative.

but yea the humor really cheers people up even when theyre not in a good mood.

Im starting to wonder if they can see through me, see that deep down im not all jokes and is more serious type. they probably do.

Altho i think the C&F me is more fun to be around with. sometimes i act a little jerkish during this C&F time.
almost like you i have split personalities.

Used to i wasnt C&F, i was serious 24/7. i changed. became C&F and a little of a jerk to improve my game w/girls, it does make them like you more, cause they see you're not that easy to control and are unique.

 

[il_duce]

From my experience, it's best to be a mixture of both. I know it sounds weird, but that's kinda how my personality is, naturally. At times I can be really loud/funny/outgoing, other times I will be more reserved and serious.

 

[la-migra-is-after-me]

im like that too!

In school im usually quiet and keep to myself, unless i run into someone i know, then im a raging goofball who teases the girl and (just to make conversation) make fun of the people passing by. at work im the same way, unless no one i know is working then im pretty quiet...but when i asked someone i see around that i just started talking too, she said that she considered me laid back, and that i don't give a f*uck what other people think and that is true to an extent.....so i think the quiet type is better, because no one knows what to expect from them, and like they say, you do have to watch out for the quiet ones.

 

[Matlm]

If I could offer my opinion,

I am 18, a senior in highschool and going through the exact same thing. I believe that we need not dichotomize the funny-friendly-amicable character with the mysterious-confident-take charge character. I believe that at some point these two personas will blend together and form an overall character. With that said, there are obviously times when it is best to character 1 and other times when it is best to be character 2. Again, if I may offer an opinion, we must realize that we are not in a state of nirvana, unchanging blissful equinimity. At different times, we must act in different ways.

 

[Walk this Way]

The key is to alternate frequently, sound mean, sound sweet, sound sexual, sound serious, sound philosophical. No one type succeeds, of course. When you force the woman to switch her own attitude to reflect yours, then you have unbelievable control of the situation, and her heart.

 

[E-Z Rider]

This is pretty interesting.

You hear a lot of women fantasize about the 'strong, silent type". I guess that is the archetypal "man", the confident guy who doesn't feel the need to run his mouth all the time.

Then again, it's very clear that the funny guys who are adept at socializing DO get a lot of women.

You might could make the argument that there should be less biological attraction to the socialite guy b/c in a way he's more feminine (since socializing is the specialty of females).

But the socialible man may get more girls b/c he actually puts himself out there more, and the girls go for him b/c the 'strong silent type' didn't put himself out there.

 

[ScrewIt]

hehe loud mouths are trash talkers

Originally posted by la-migra-is-after-me
In school im usually quiet and keep to myself, unless i run into someone i know, then im a raging goofball who teases the girl and (just to make conversation) make fun of the people passing by. at work im the same way, unless no one i know is working then im pretty quiet...but when i asked someone i see around that i just started talking too, she said that she considered me laid back, and that i don't give a f*uck what other people think and that is true to an extent.....so i think the quiet type is better, because no one knows what to expect from them, and like they say, you do have to watch out for the quiet ones.

I was totally non social with everyone in one of my classes 2 semesters ago, i always had a serious look on my face and didnt smile much. near the end of the term the girl's IL was slowly rising, then she brok the ice and started talking to me.

this has nothign to do wit hthe original post but..

it's true, you DO have to watch out for the quiet ones. cause they are the ones that arent running their mouths all the time talking all big...such as a few AFC buddies i know. they talk all big and stuff, i bet they exaggerated or lied about certain things. but yea i can tell they're all talk, i can tell they lack confidence. when time came for them to show how big they really were, they just brushed it off and ran to their hole. In a way they respect me, even tho they may crack jokes on me, it's cause they're jealous. but around them im semi-talkative and serious. in a sense they're jealous of me, but respect me also because im not a loudmouth liek them.

 

[DJ_Dork]

There are advice given by so called "DJs" that say the "Silent and Strong" type is attractive. Sure it is. If that's the case then why are many "Silent Strong" AFCs not getting any action while an extrovert comedian who talks a lot getting action?

Well it depends. If the guy talks a lot but about himself/ his stuff.. then yeah that's a turn off. If a guy talks about life, funny stuff about other people, etc Like I DO (I'm one of those Comedian types) then women will like that. I try to balance it out by not disclosing too much unless necessary.

I tried to fake it by pretending to be silent strong.. NAH DUDES don't pretend.. it's going to come out - if a girl doesn't like how you are so outgoing, then she was not meant for you!

EZ-Rider's Post is good reading. However, if a girl is not comfortable with you being a socialite or being outgoing at parties - She is insecure - remind her once that that's how you are naturally.. if she still doesn't accept it, DUMP HER.

 

[Tails]

Ahh, good advice my friends. I just finished school here and I just remembered something. I use to big a huge player, going to parties, hanging out at the shopping center and all that stuff... just to try and get laid. I'd chat up girls all the time... all I wanted was to just have fun (sex).

It's about half a year since all that has faded away. I am still pretty much the same person. I am funny, confident, I talk, I sing (in class). But for some reason, I am not playing the player role anymore. I get oppertunities to talk to girls and maybe even get laid. But for some reason, I don't bother with all that anymore. Deep down, I'd really much rather a relationship for once. I don't want to get involved too much with those kind of girls who just wanna go to parties, get drunk and have sex. That was me before, not now.

So what I am trying to say here is: If I am still the same person, doesn't that come off as me just wanting to have fun and get laid all the time? Isn't that what girls see when I'm being the comedian guy who winks and says hi to every girl that walks past? I love doing it, it's funny. But that is all I do it for. Fun. I don't intend to go chat the girl up or get laid. I just hope they don't see it that way (which they probably do), maybe this is a problem? How can I attract the girls that are the opposite of what I use to be? Aren't they attracted to the opposite of me? The quiet, mysterious, serious guy?

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

You can be the full energetic fun playertype and at the same time have a mysterious side

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
You can be the full energetic fun playertype and at the same time have a mysterious side

very true. when appropriate time for you to become serious and mysterious & be playful/fun/humurous/witty at another time when needed. i guess you could say which personality is required for your success within that situation

 

[Tails]

Hmm, but how can I be attracting the girls that are attracted to the opposite of me? I am always usually the comedian at school and everyone see's this. Deep down, I am very nice and understanding, I will listen to a girl and I will not be a jerk. The whole comedy show can shut off at anytime if I want it to be.

I don't want to pretend to be someone I am not just to attract the girls. But I don't think the girls I am after are being attracted to me... because all they see is the comedian guy. They don't know that I am mature or nice. Because they never see that unless they're talking to me about something I have to get serious about. That is when I just stop the nonsense and become mature about a situation.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by ScrewIt
very true. when appropriate time for you to become serious and mysterious & be playful/fun/humurous/witty at another time when needed. i guess you could say which personality is required for your success within that situation

Not only that. At the same time I'm high energetic, playfull etc I will have this sexually driven "mysterious" aura, like there is something more to me. I think it's all in the eye and bodylanguage