The Follow Up...

[wildcard2012]

So...it's been about a year since my last and quite hectic relationship ended. I've finally picked myself up and got back out there. I've conquered that piece, the approaching girls piece and getting the number piece. It's the follow up though that I'm having the most trouble with. I don't seem able to recreate the "magic" of the night before. Per example last night went as follows:

Meet 8.0 Peurto Rican at bar.
Immediately strike up a conversation
Made physical contact
Asked her number and she ripped my phone out of my hands and put in along w/ her name
texted her later: buenos noches bonita. try not to kill anyone (joke reference from earlier) between now and the time I invite and your friend over for labor day dinner tomorrow
her: haha!! thank you! have a good night, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'll test you when i'm in fells tomorrow.
me: no gracias tengo ganas de que
me next day: having a cookout at my house tonight and your presence is requested. otherwise my friend Jeff won't believe that I met the cutest in town after he went to bed last night!
no response.

Any suggestions? Did I "boil the frog" so to speak? Be honest and brutal please. I keep on f!@#ing this part up. I'm really trying to nail this skill once and for all. Any help at all would be greatly appreciated as always!

 

[hockeyfreak79]

You contacted the next day and invited her over? Dude she already had plans waaay in advance if she's a HB8. Wait 2-3 days....and call them not text.

Your texts made me cringe as well. Chicks use emotioncons. JS

If you are not of Latino descent texting in Spanish usually makes them cringe as well, trust me. If you are fluent then sh*t go for it.

Are you white or latino?

I dated a Latina for over a year, probably the biggest challenge I've have ever taken on. You need thick skin and be a sweet a**hole. They are not easy to game, especially if traditionally they only date their own race? This could be the case, idk.

 

[BeDJ]

you played it right by getting her out ASAP. Texts were a bit wordy, but you should have called her for a first date.

The better approach would to see how far you could get at the bar. She most likely was approached by a bunch of dudes at the bar and given out her number on multiple occasions. At the end of the night, you were just a random guy hitting on her. Don't settle for numbers. When you have an opportunity to get face to face with a woman, push the envelope.

 

[wildcard2012]

Thanks gentlemen! Your perspectives mean a lot to me. Frankly, I have no reason to have any problems when it comes to women. I'm handsome and successful and out going (no bragging; it's the truth). Truth is, this past relationship REALLY ****ED ME UP. I'm just petrified that I'll fall into something like that again. Anyway, so when I'm not anxious or afraid, I'm over zealous. In short, I know it sounds weak and ****ing gay, but that's where I am. I appreciate your help in getting me back to where I use to be...

 

[Desdinova]

me next day: having a cookout at my house tonight and your presence is requested. otherwise my friend Jeff won't believe that I met the cutest in town after he went to bed last night!

There are so many problems with this one sentence. First of all, unless you made arrangements on the night you met her to see her the next day, you must plan for a few days later. Throw some days at her that work for you and get her input on what works for her. Then you make the decision and set the date.

Next, NEVER invite her out on a date where your friends are going to be.

Third, you essentially told her that she's just a trophy to show off to your friends.

Fourth, you complimented her on her looks. DO NOT compliment them on their looks until you've slept with them a few times.

Fifth, those last two items essentially put her on a pedestal and made you appear as if you were not worthy of her solely because of her looks. Women want a man to like them based on their personality and the chemistry they have, NOT their looks.