The FINAL Debate: Looks Vs. Personality

[Starman]

Every freakin thread on here has turned into people arguing is it the looks that gets the girl? The personality? or BOTH??

Either side you choose..there are examples all over the world to support your belief

Hot Chicks ONLY date Good Looking Guys

or

Average Guys can Bag Hot chicks if he had a dynamic Personality

and Here is what it really BOILS down to

EVERY GIRL in this world is DIFFERENT..ACCEPT THAT! TATTOO IT IN YOUR BRAIN

Women's definition of good looks arent created on a factory conveyer belt!

A Gap in a guys teeth may be cute to some women, and repulsive to another!

But essentially, the women you see hanging with ONLY good looking guys, or HB's you see with AVERAGE guys can be broken down as follows:

#1 -Some HB's are hella Shallow, and only go for the GQ Superstud..but, a FEW times in their lives they will give the AVERAGE guys a CHANCE (only because waay good looking guys cheat on them Mercilessly because they get a HUGE influx of pvssy coming in)

#2- Then there are the HB's who DONT base their relationship happiness based on just LOOKS alone..they want substance, someone who will make them happy, etc etc..and while they are very good looking, they are not as Vain as #1 and place looks 2nd to personality

The trick is all about TIMING to score with #1..you have to be there at the moment when they want to give the average guy a CHANCE

Girls like #2 are usually open to average looking men..but they are usually snatched by another guy before you have met them

The 2nd Trick is all about TRYING for EVERY HB you meet and NEVER accept the idea that she is too good looking for you..because you can NEVER tell if she is Girl #1 or Girl #2

and if You DONT give it a Shot, and think they dont date average looking men, you have Just Disqualifyed yourself out of the game. and for every HB you DONT try for..there is another average looking AFC/DJ who WILL TRY and WILL SCORE

You can sit here and argue whats more important LOOKS vs Personality until your Head implodes.

The Fact is IT DOESNT MATTER..Because its DIFFERENT for EVERY WOMAN!

EVen if you did find the TRUE answer..what will you do next? Get Cosmetic Surgery? or Learn to Develope a Dynamic Personality?

SO I urge everyone to stop arguing this silly little endless debate, and just PROCEED as if LOOKS DONT MATTER.

Because if you believe they Matter SO MUCH and you dont have High praise for your own looks, then you are just Crippling yourself, and someone else will do the Job that you Cant do!

Peace

 

[myfriendblu]

I have a thought....drumroll please....Its BOTH, LOL. Geez, this isn't rocket science...

 

[becker]

I agree that it's both. Girls want the whole enchilada, and they will always measure you up with their ideal guy.

I think the only advantage a guy might have is that if he is not great looking, but maybe at least average (forget it if you're below average, because the only women you'll probably get are below average as well) then he will be able to use personality to boost his "looks" factor.

However, if the guy is great looking, but his personality sucks, then trying to look even better may not make up for his lack of charisma (although this is probably only going to affect those morons who can't put together a complete sentence, and not those who can at least speak coherently, since then it will be a "project" for the woman, which they love).

 

[Helter Skelter]

With the girls I've pursued. The guys I compete with for their affection tend to have great personalities and be very good looking.

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

Awesome post, Starman! Although I think the entire debate can be avoided if everyone would follow three simple rules:

1) Look your damned best.

2) Continually develop and refine your game.

3) Go after each and every woman you want.

There is no way to achieve a higher success rate than this.

 

[Juan_Man]

I just saw a hot girl, nice face, killer bod with an average-looking guy (I'm sure I wasn't underrating him) who was about three inches shorter than her. He also seemed kind of shy. My guess is that it's all about how you make her feel. It's funny how certain scenes can change your thinking. When you see a couple of girls throw themselves at some dull goodlooking guy, you say "Booyah, looks do matter! Don't try to deny it!" But when you see the opposite, you're like "okay, maybe it is all about the personality." I've participated in about maybe 15 of these "looks versus personality" debates and all I can say is that you're viewpoint is always going to change, because you will see different things.

 

[Kodiac]

Looks out of 10 scale
Personality out of 10 scale
Add 2gether, Divide both by two

Max points = 10

eg 1 He's got and average personality - 5 points
He's ugly - 3 points

5 + 3 = 8

8 / 2 = 4

So he get's HB 4's

eg 2 He's got the best personality - 10 points
He's above average looking - 6 points

10 + 6 = 16

16 / 2 = 8

So he get's HB 8's.

Read this somewhere. Think it's a good system. Personality and looks BOTH matter. But like starman said, every woman is different, every man is different, well all have our own preferences and tastes - we can't please everyone - or can we lol

What it boils down to...IT'S not mathematics!!!

Who give's a fuk ?? Your a DJ, you should always strive to be the best man you can be. Always strive to better yourself. Always look and act the best you can, after all, that's what a DJ does!

YOU are the PRIZE! There's a billion HB's out there...only one of you though!

Go get em'

 

[Juan_Man]

Originally posted by Starman

The trick is all about TIMING to score with #1..you have to be there at the moment when they want to give the average guy a CHANCE

The problem with this advice is that it's sooo anti-DJ. You seem to imply that an average-looking guy cannot get a hot girl unless if it's on a circumstantial basis. If so, then a guy like this surely won't be able to keep the girl once she "comes to her senses". I think that this is an even more meaningful debate to have:

Can The Average Guy Get The Hot Girl Through DJism or Only Through The Circumstantial?

 

[Silquee Smoove]

The 3 main threads I've seen in mh-18.com were:

1) Canada vs. USA
2) Straight vs. Gay
3) Christianity vs. Atheism

It seems this site has the looks vs. personality and that seems overdone...next.

 

[BobbDobbs]

Originally posted by Starman
The Fact is IT DOESNT MATTER..Because its DIFFERENT for EVERY WOMAN!

It still matters because there are some things you can do about your appearence. Because it is so high on the attraction criteria, you should improve your appearence as top priority.

Of course what each woman finds attractive is going to be different -- but not that different. If it was just random, there'd be no such thing as a "cute guy." But cute guys are seen as attractive by large percentages of women.

It takes confidence just to get in the game. But the more you can do with your appearence (clothes, grooming, etc) the better results your game will get.

 

[DJZ]

You also must remember that a lot of women like to control. If a HB9 finds that she cannot control guys who are 9's, then she will move down to say a 6 type guy. I've seen plenty of hot women dating average guys, but after I got to know the couple, I realized the girl was the boss.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

if youre an average guy, you aim at not making yourself so average. its simple, if youre an average guy going after an above average hot chick, then YOU are gona be the one workin to get her. lets say youre a successful business man with average looks..well now, you dont have to work so hard.

average sucks.

 

[becker]

Re: Re: The FINAL Debate: Looks Vs. Personality

Originally posted by BobbDobbs
It still matters because there are some things you can do about your appearence. Because it is so high on the attraction criteria, you should improve your appearence as top priority.

Of course what each woman finds attractive is going to be different -- but not that different. If it was just random, there'd be no such thing as a "cute guy." But cute guys are seen as attractive by large percentages of women.

It takes confidence just to get in the game. But the more you can do with your appearence (clothes, grooming, etc) the better results your game will get.

BobbDobbs, I agree with you there. I've gotten plenty of looks from women just by looking better overall. The hair, clothes, and shoes all have to be stylish and you just have to have good taste in the stuff you wear. I've found that really hot women seem to not like guys who wear saggy jeans, and prefer tighter, more fitting jeans and shirts. Most guys these days are too self-conscious to wear this stuff. I'm all over this stuff right now, and I went from jeans that were 4 sizes too big to jeans that are pretty much hugging my lower body, but the increases in looks and stares is definitely noticeable. Of course, it takes at least a good body to do this. You can't be all overweight and stuff and wear tight clothes.

I was watching this Extreme Makeover show tonight. Crazy show, where they do plastic surgery and an overall body makeover on some pretty ugly folks. Anyways, there's this one guy (definitely gay) who does the clothing, and he's all fat, but he wears tight clothes. Needless to say he's not exactly eye candy, but I can imagine that wearing bigger clothes than he's wearing now won't make it any better. It's about as good as it gets for him. Anyways, it's amazing what a good pair of jeans will do for your image as well. Must be boot cut/flared. I can't believe they went through a phase of tapered leg jeans, because those all make you look like crap no matter how thin you are.

Just another testament to the fact that to look good, clothing can really help. Physical appearance is very important, and the better you look, the more looks you'll get and your self-confidence will increase.

 

[Iv4]

Maybe just me but I say people are people.Its like that 5 I had to dump.She had lots of ponts on th personalety but not much looks.If Jenifer Lopez showed up right now and acted *****y most people would take it allot better than if it were rossie O'donal(since there arent many DJ chicks and all I'm using an AFC example).

Basically just the orignal post says:everyone is diferent.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Amen.

The worst thing a man can ever say is 'She's out of my league'.

I CRINGE when I hear that.

 

[echo1212]

Go back to my original thread about this matter a few days ago. I never said that looks are what matter the most (although it is ) What I said was the level of attractivness the girls feels towards you... whether it be looks, social status, money, power, humor, etc....is what determines whether a girl will be into you or not, and whether all the other things you can do as a DJ will help build upon that.

If there is no level of medium to high IL or attractivness by the girl to the guy, you can do all the other things you want-it won't matter.

 

[xblitz44x]

Uggggh. Here we go. Ok, lets first say that there will never be a FINAL debate about anything on this board. I've seen the final debate on this topic 6 times since I've been here.

On one hand you have a group of "average to below average" looking guys or good looking guys who are convinced they have "game" who are clinging and clawing to the notion that "women want personality. Women like a guy who is challenging, who is funny, who is confident...". So, logically, you think "Hmmm...ok so if I act that way, chicks will want ME." Deep inside they still know(perceive) that their looks are below average; but they've FOUND JESUS in this sosuave site. They have HOPE now. And for somebody to come along and say "uh, dude, it was never your 'awesome personality' to begin with", is to strip him of his hope. So they battle with the same arguments as a thousand guys before them "you can create attraction by making her feel emotions - there are a lot of hot chicks with ugly guys!" They don't really think this through, or WANT to because to truely understand is to start over at square one. "Uh, ok so now what?"

Then there is the group of average looking guys, or good looking guys who say "Man, a hot chick is always being hit on, she has her choice. She's going to take the best looking guy in the pack. Just look around, girls like Vin Diesel, Brad Pitt. They don't care about their personalities." Usually after years of seeing chicks with good looking guys, this group posts things like "So now I'm improving myself. I'm working out 6 days a week, I dyed my hair, I go tanning twice a week, got a new wardrobe." AKA: I am trying to cover up insecurity with makeup.

The truth is...yes - both are required but it's never a "one or the other". They are both tied together. Inside the little unconscious of a woman, lies an icon or symbol of what is "good looking" to her. This man is sitting there, in her mind, without her even realizing it. He is that guy she has dreamed about since he was younger. That "disney character" prince who is going to sweep her off of her feet. He is "Honest, sweet, sensitive, yet masculine, dominant, brave".

In short, when this girl sets eyes on a guy, the unconscious measures the guy up against the girls "ideal prince". If there is a resemblence - BOOM. The girl gets slammed with feelings of attraction. That is the spark that I was talking about in another thread. So immediately she perceives that this man embodies certain traits. Take a guess what those traits could be: Honest, sweet, sensitive, yet masculine, dominant, brave." Whether he is or he's not is irrelevant right now. He gets credit for it because he matched her Idea Prince.

If she gets to know this new guy, she will eventually either a) figure out that the guy isn't like the Idea Prince at all. Her perceptions of him will dissolve, because it was those that compelled her to him to begin with. or b) The girl integrated those traits within herself, therefore the entire PURPOSE of the attraction is complete, so it goes away. That's just how it works guys.

Now you could argue "Well if a girl gets to know you, and finds out that you have the traits of that prince, she will be attracted to you." Sorry but that's not true either. Another GUY could also possess those traits but it doesn't mean that he'll be compelled to a guy. It is that icon, that she has established in her mind that we have to match if we expect to get laid. And it's not even "good looks"...it's how much we can display our maleness...whatever that is to us.

-Blitz

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

We all know it's both.

However, after hs and college, a lot is based on looks.

Many hot women and hot guys go far in television.

Yes there are exceptions to every rule, but the truth is, most of the time, YOU DON"T HAVE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE.

All this BS about, go to a club and charm her, do this and that.

I'm sorry but, if you've been to most clubs, been to most bars with live bands, YOU CAN"T HEAR YOURSELF yet alone somebody else.

If she aint attracted to you, she sure won't fall for your charming personality. CAUSE NOBODY CAN HEAR WHAT YOUR SAYING.

THe initial attraction is based on looks.

If she is attracted to you, then you have to charm her with your personality.

If she isn't attracted to you, you have no shot.

"WELL she has to get to know me"

That's all fine and dandy, but as you grow older, everything is based on attraction.

And in recent years, there are many 40 somethings, MEN and WOMEN, who go out with 20 somethings.

There are a couple reasons.

1-They want to recaputer their youth.
2-Most people in their 20s are more attractive and fit then most
in their 40's.

Yes personality plays a huge factor, but in reality, if the person isn't attracted to you, you have no shot.

I'll use baseball as an analogy.

If you have the best CLOSER in the game, who can shut down the last 1,2, or even 3 innings of a game, you are ahead of other teams.

This is like your personality. You close with your charming personality.

HOWEVER, if you have an average or below avg starting pitching staff, the majority of the time, YOUR CLOSER isn't going to get a chance to CLOSE the game.

Aka, your looks. If they aint there, your CLOSER won't ever have a chance to show up.

Thats the way it is.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Well said Elvis!!!
I don't think anyone can say it any better than that. Since you have nailed it on the head. We don't need any further discussion on this. So everyone else can now

SHUT THE FUUCK UP ABOUT IT

 

[Starman]

I find it amusing a post asking to STOP debating on this circular topic..turns into a debate about the same topic

One thing that struck me about reading all your responses is this:

WHY is everyone so bent up about trying to find out HOW MUCH looks matter in your game?

and my conclusion is that if looks are so important in the game, then this site, with all its techniques and advice is USELESS in your attempts to attract women

Here is a little interesting scenario I was toying with last night at a party

I mingled around..and found a few women for my experiment..I noticed there were a few good looking afc's just sitting around..waiting for girls to approach them or until they got enough liquid courage to approach women

Girl #1 - Had VERY high IL in me..I had just met her, started talking to her, and even tho her friends left her to go mingle, she stuck around to talk with me, so what did I do? I began to TRY and LOWER her IL ( I told her I am unemployed, dont care about work, told her about my gastrointestinal problems, belched, and behaved very repulsively)

She eventually got bored and left (this was a test to see if IL can be mainupulated..either lowered or raised..and I definitely LOWERED her IL)

Girl #2 - had Medium to LOW IL..she wasnt too chatty with me..so I left..15 mins later..I just went up to her (she was watching videos) grabbed her by the hand..and led her to the Ping Pong table..without saying a word..she was hesitant at first..but just went along with it..

I beat her at ping pong..then said "How about a game of Pool ? I hope you can do better at pool than at ping pong"..again she complied..and I won the pool game too ( I didnt want to let her win, because I was trying to establish dominance and demonstrating "value"..did some KINO (pat her on the back as a "pity stroke") then took her by the waist and said "You Owe me a Drink"..she complied

I went to sarge other girls for social proof

1 hr later..I was talking to this other girl..and Ping Pong girl beckoned me to come over .. she said she was leaving and asked for my phone #

by the end of the night .. the good looking AFC's havent chatted up 1 girl!! they were talking to other guys all night..then just left

what does this all say? in girl #1 I managed to LOWER Attraction and IL..Girl #2(ping pong chick) I raised her IL..by applying the techniques from here

surely this experiment has some major flaws and loopholes..but the point is..I DIDNT CARE how I rated in looks..but just went for the HB's ANYWAY..and turned a girl with low/med IL..to HIGH (# close)

this is getting way too long..but I hope it was useful for you and your search for the truth