The Fear Of Rejection Is The Biggest Problem For Guys

[RockaRolla25]

Without the fear of rejection, everyone should be a natural.

I know this guy who is in his 30's, (yes his 30's) and I was having a conversation with him the other day about women.

It basically went like this:

Me: It's all a numbers game dude. Some will say yes, some will say no. You have to expect the no's as well as the yes's. Then, whoever says no, you just move onto the next one and eventually someone will say yes.

Him: I don't know about that. I don't know if I can just "move on" to the next one like that. I can't handle rejection. I would much rather sit around wondering if I'm worthless than having a girl actually prove it to me by saying no.

Me: But, then you just ask someone else dude! Not everyone will say yes!

Him: I don't know. I'd rather just wonder than know for sure. I can't handle being called worthless.

At this point I realized he wasn't getting the point and this is why he never hooks up with any women.

It is a fact of life that not everyone likes everyone. Even the most hardcore "Don Juans" you see out there will get rejected by some women. But, you don't see them crying and giving up. They just go after more women.

Face it, girls can f.uck whoever they want. There is no obligation out there that says: "Every single girl must f.uck ME!" You win some, you lose some, but you live to game another day.

My question is, how can a guy be in his 30's and still be terrified of rejection? You would think he would've gotten it out of his system in his late teens and 20's, right?

 

[RockaRolla25]

He doesnt know GAME. If i didnt discoverd this i would have been petrafy into talking to women

It's actually pretty simple if you think about it. Forget about "the game" for a minute. All you gotta do is talk to the girl and if you notice she's being nice and happy, then you just say "OK lets go out x night" and she says "yes" then you go out, put the moves on her and if she doesn't stop you, you're in. If she stops you or says no to going out, then you know to move on.

It really is a lot simpler than most people think. Lots of guys try to wait for "the right moment" to ask her to go out when she "feels comfortable" around them or whatever.

Basically: See girl, talk, invite her out, put moves on her.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Without the fear of rejection, everyone should be a natural.

I know this guy who is in his 30's, (yes his 30's) and I was having a conversation with him the other day about women.

It basically went like this:

Me: It's all a numbers game dude. Some will say yes, some will say no. You have to expect the no's as well as the yes's. Then, whoever says no, you just move onto the next one and eventually someone will say yes.

Him: I don't know about that. I don't know if I can just "move on" to the next one like that. I can't handle rejection. I would much rather sit around wondering if I'm worthless than having a girl actually prove it to me by saying no.

Me: But, then you just ask someone else dude! Not everyone will say yes!

Him: I don't know. I'd rather just wonder than know for sure. I can't handle being called worthless.

At this point I realized he wasn't getting the point and this is why he never hooks up with any women.

It is a fact of life that not everyone likes everyone. Even the most hardcore "Don Juans" you see out there will get rejected by some women. But, you don't see them crying and giving up. They just go after more women.

Face it, girls can f.uck whoever they want. There is no obligation out there that says: "Every single girl must f.uck ME!" You win some, you lose some, but you live to game another day.

My question is, how can a guy be in his 30's and still be terrified of rejection? You would think he would've gotten it out of his system in his late teens and 20's, right?

Your friend isn't afraid of rejection. He just wants to believe he is.

He is afraid of acceptance.

Rejection is easy. A "No" and the "fantasy" of this "perfect" person he's built in his mind is over with.

Acceptance means finding out the person may or may not be for you in REALITY and vice versa along with the fact if it does progress there could be parents, friends, relatives and REALITY to deal with in the future as well as the unknown.

Your friend can't handle that so he'd rather comfort himself with his false "belief" that he's afraid of "rejection".

He needs to look at improving himself rather than worrying about a chick "completing" him and making him feel like he has any worth. Then he needs to learn to deal with acceptance.

I'm not buying his story.

 

[RockaRolla25]

I have also noticed that if you act like a satirical version of an AFC, girls eat that up too.

For example, meeting a girl and saying to her: "I love you, when are you moving in? I can't live without you!" will make them laugh and get playful if you say it in the right tone. The problem with the AFC's is they say it all serious because they really mean it.

If you say it in a tongue-in-cheek way, the girl gets the hint that you are just joking around and making fun of the "losers."

Another example is saying stuff like "I don't know if we can have sex. I'm a virgin and I wouldn't want to get attached to you already."

Say these things in the right tone, and girls get the hint you are just satirizing the AFC and being fun.

 

[Iceberg]

It's actually pretty simple if you think about it. Forget about "the game" for a minute. All you gotta do is talk to the girl and if you notice she's being nice and happy, then you just say "OK lets go out x night" and she says "yes" then you go out, put the moves on her and if she doesn't stop you, you're in. If she stops you or says no to going out, then you know to move on.

It really is a lot simpler than most people think. Lots of guys try to wait for "the right moment" to ask her to go out when she "feels comfortable" around them or whatever.

Basically: See girl, talk, invite her out, put moves on her.

Yep. That sums up my "game" perfectly. You talk to the girl like a normal person, if she's friendly and cool, then you invite her to hang out.

A lot of guys think it's about, "Hey baby. Why don't you and me go on a DATE sometime and get dinner?" No. It's more like asking a friend to get a beer. "What are you doing this Wednesday? This bar near me has a cool happy hour. Let's get a drink."

No pressure. No big fancy words like DATE. It's just drinks and talking and laughing. My great downfall might be cold openers. But once the conversation is going, I can take it wherever I want.

That's what your friend needs to do. Talk to women, evaluate whether or not she's cool, and invite her to do something. Not a "date".

 

[RockaRolla25]

Yep. That sums up my "game" perfectly. You talk to the girl like a normal person, if she's friendly and cool, then you invite her to hang out.

A lot of guys think it's about, "Hey baby. Why don't you and me go on a DATE sometime and get dinner?" No. It's more like asking a friend to get a beer. "What are you doing this Wednesday? This bar near me has a cool happy hour. Let's get a drink."

No pressure. No big fancy words like DATE. It's just drinks and talking and laughing. My great downfall might be cold openers. But once the conversation is going, I can take it wherever I want.

That's what your friend needs to do. Talk to women, evaluate whether or not she's cool, and invite her to do something. Not a "date".

Yeah I hate the word "date."

It's like an interview of 2 people trying to talk each other into/out of having sex with each other.

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Your friend isn't afraid of rejection. He just wants to believe he is.

He is afraid of acceptance.

I think he's probably afraid of both. Acceptance brings in a whole host of more problems. If she says yes, then you are stuck with making a thousand more correct decisions past just asking her out. You gotta wonder about how to ask her for her number, when to call/text, what to say when you call/text, when and where you should meet up, whether or not you should pay, what you should do, what you should say, what should you NOT say, whether or not and when to initiate kino and how to do it without coming across as awkward, whether or not you should take separate cars, and of course the worst moment of the night: the awkward silence of when it comes time to go for the kiss or not and then once you get your answer, how to exit gracefully.

It seems like a lose-lose situation to me. Even if you manage to bang her, you still had to endure days and possibly weeks of agony to get the chance at a non-self induced orgasm.

 

[Willis]

i understand where your friend is coming from..sometimes i sit and say the same things to myself except the part about me being worthless.
sometimes i dont go talk to that girl because it is easier to sit down and not put yourself out there...i mean..its gonna end anyway..and nothing last forever

 

[MainDroite]

I've been told I'm acting very flirty with people I do not even consider hooking up with (females teachers, for example). I immediately clicked. What prevents me from flirting effectively is actually being sexually interested in a person. Then I get afraid of ****ing something up.

 

[backbreaker]

this is a great and underrated post here. If I were a guy here, new here, I would not do anytihng, at all, until I went out and made it my mission to get rejected by 100 women. Get used to the ****. Get num to it. It's going to ****ing happen. By the time you get to 100, you will have learned more about women and how they think, and what to expect then you would have by logging 2000 posts here. Then you realize that dude, the only thing stopping me from getting ass, is nothing anymore lol. To KNOW you have the power to go out and get women's numbers and go out and have a great time and get laid when you want, on your terms, that **** is unbelievable. And the ONLY thing stoppoing you, is your fear of rejection. There are factors that will factor in to how many times you get rejected, and the type of women you have to go after, but you can get laid quickly.

Then sooner or oater, one of those woman, you are going to like being with more than the others, she will stand out. it maybe her personality. you might just click. whatever, that's what you start to think about a LtR.

I did this starting the day I turned 21, on my 21st birthday. I got rejcted, i never made it to 100 offically but I've made it well pat that in my years. But I got enough numbers to basicaly keep me busy for the rest of the year and my birthday was in the middle of june. I got accepted, by women I literarly did not think i had a chance with, one girl, I knew from high school and she was prom queen and I thought she was just so ****ing smoking hot, and i'll be damned if i went up to her and said hey lisa, give me your number i'm going to take you out, and she did it! you couldn't tell me **** lol i was so pumped. Not only that.. she was kinda nervous. I went from high fiving myself to saying why didn't i ask for it sooner.

There was a point in time, where I came home, to change clothes and to have sex lol. that's it. monday - sunday I was on a date, out getting dates, or sleeping at a girl's house, non stop for like 8 months. **** was a blast but it got old, but i had to get it out my system. To go from, sitting at home watching porn and working 24 x 7, to it being a tuesday, and you having to spend 20 minutes, deciding how you are going to juggle 3 women on a tuesday, you decide you are goin to take one out to eat, tell one to wait, and then go spend the night with the other but there is no way you aren't going to have something to do.. And if you have to call an aduabile, the girl you are putting of will drop whatever she is doing and **** the **** out of you all night long, you know this for a FACT, in fact she's hoping she can...the only thing stopping you from living like that, is your fear of rejection. go out there and get it.

 

[xdreamz]

I have learned so far to keep the girl from saying no as much as possible. i.e. if she says yes to the date with a possible no and you tell her you're going to contact her on that day, don't you think it's better to make it apparent that you won't be able to make it on that actual day?

i got some sort of facebook rejection early on this week. I talked to her, told her to type her facebook on my phone, continued to walk her to the front of her housing. she invited me to get closer to the actual house. I Hugged her goodbye and went on my way back. 3 days later I opened up the notepad only to notice a fake facebook address typed in. this could of very possibly meant a rejection, but why the subtle invite to get closer to where she lives? It was as if the only way to continue the pursuit was to jump right in front of her gates and sing some beautiful song to her or something. I don't know, women are a little weird sometimes.

On the topic of it being a numbers game, I certainly don't wish to hit up 1000000 girls like you guys tell me to. focus on 1, maybe 2 while getting some time to clear your life up.

 

[backbreaker]

100 girls, at least 2 rejections a day. no expectations. go pick up your dry cleaning, talk to the woman behind the counter. go to barns and noble to pick up a book, sit down for 5 minutes and find someone sitting by themselves and make them reject you. go to taco bell pick up a nacho bel grande, talk to the woman behind the counter if she is cute. go to red lobster to pick up a to go order, talk to the waitress. it's not hard.


you only get better with practice. you have to use the skills, or you will lose them. This is how you develop "game". you want game rather you think you want it or not. After a while, you don't give a damn about the rejections anymore.

 

[xdreamz]

talking to every girl......that is the life of all life. picking up girls is a natural thing, you can be sitting around and have opportunities on your lap.