The ex is back and I'm getting sucked in

[Rhino22]

Ok, so my gf of 4 years left me last summer to go be with another guy. At first she lied about why we were breaking up because I'm sensitive and she didn't want me to know. Well, she even told me initially that she thinks im better for her in the long term but we are too young to settle down.

Fast forward to now and I have started talking to her again and she confesses to me that she made a huge mistake and blew it with a wonderful guy. She said she is not happy in her new relationship and she wants to try to rekindle th ings with me. She said she doesn't deserve another chance either. I even told her I am interested in another girl and she said maybe I should pursue that instead but next thing you know we are talking like best friends again.

We had plans to see each other this upcoming week but I just emailed her saying to forget it. That as long as she is still with this guy we should not hang out. The last thing she said before this was that "things are pretty much over with ***" the new guy. Well I don't know what that means. To me that sounds like she doesn't know. So should I just drop her and move on? I am very shy and dont have alot of experience with women so I guess that could be part of the reason why I am thinking about taking her back.

 

[DonGorgon]

F her then dont call or answer her calls... you will be back in control.. make her think you might take her back but never ever do that.. now you have a permanent F buddy... fun times..

 

[Rhino22]

lol well i already told her to forget hanging out. We will see how she responds...

 

[Eternal87]

She lied to you as to why she was breaking up with you and also left you for another guy. And now that it's not working well with him, she comes crawling back to you.

She is also STILL in her new relationship and wants to branch swing back to you before leaving the new guy.

Your ex-girlfriend seems to have problems with being single. She also seems very dependent on having a boyfriend which is not a good indication of a quality woman.

If you take her back, you will only be used as a place holder until she finds someone new. Trust me when I say your relationship and connection with her won't return to the way it was.

You said it yourself, your deciding whether or not to take her back is based on fear. The fear that you may not find another because you doubt your "skills" in attaining women.

In order to be successful with women you must first respect yourself. In getting back with your ex would be an action of self-disrespect.

Respect yourself and move on.

If you don't respect yourself, how can others respect you?

-SchoolBoy​

 

[Brighty]

Ok, so my gf of 4 years left me last summer to go be with another guy. At first she lied about why we were breaking up because I'm sensitive and she didn't want me to know. Well, she even told me initially that she thinks im better for her in the long term but we are too young to settle down.

Fast forward to now and I have started talking to her again and she confesses to me that she made a huge mistake and blew it with a wonderful guy. She said she is not happy in her new relationship and she wants to try to rekindle th ings with me. She said she doesn't deserve another chance either. I even told her I am interested in another girl and she said maybe I should pursue that instead but next thing you know we are talking like best friends again.

We had plans to see each other this upcoming week but I just emailed her saying to forget it. That as long as she is still with this guy we should not hang out. The last thing she said before this was that "things are pretty much over with ***" the new guy. Well I don't know what that means. To me that sounds like she doesn't know. So should I just drop her and move on? I am very shy and dont have alot of experience with women so I guess that could be part of the reason why I am thinking about taking her back.

Seems like we get posts like this once a week. Just read any of the other posts and realize that the exact same advice given in them is universal for this kind of problem. Let me summarize the responses you are going to get:


Yeah, you were in a relationship for 4 years - it's gonna be hard seeing her again and you're going to be revisiting some old feelings. She started talking to another guy behind your back and played you for an idiot, do you want this kind of girl back? She's swinging on vines and since you're not on board with the relationship starting back up (and you fvcking shouldn't be), she's still clinging on to this guy, hence the "things are pretty much (read: not) over the new guy". That's cute that you think she doesn't know about things with him, because its pretty clear to me. No contact, your ex girlfriend's a *****, etc etc. Open and shut case.


Now here's advice specifically for you:

- Cut all contact with her, don't think you can maintain contact with this girl in ANY shape or form and NOT start getting oneitis for her. If you want this sh!tty girl back you're an idiot, and if you think that you can "keep her around as a friend" and not fall for her again you're an even bigger idiot. And for God sake don't fvck her or fool around with her because you're going to get attached again, you are not at the level of indifference where you can even hope to pull that off.

- The more you wallow in your self-pity about how shy you are and how little experienced you are with women, the worse you're going to make it for yourself - both for your self esteem and for developing oneitis for her ("Omg, she was the only one who got me and accepted me! I need to be back with her!") No God damn it. Stop being pathetic, she was a deceitful **** woman and if you pulled a girl like that when you claim that you're shy as **** and not good with women, then dear god, can you even visualize how much of a higher quality woman you can get when you actually are outgoing and CONFIDENT with women? Why the **** would you settle for her? That's like ordering ramen when you can get the caviar.

- Go get better with women. This site teaches you how. You have no excuse not to at least be trying. Start respecting yourself and stop invalidating yourself.

lol well i already told her to forget hanging out. We will see how she responds...

NO, **** you, stop being ****ing gay. You don't care what she thinks of what you said, you don't care about her response or her reaction. That's called no contact. Out of sight, out of mind. Your pathetic ex isn't someone who's reaction you care about, she's a worthless god damn slvt. And if you have any doubts about that, post her picture here so we can tell you just how much better you can do than that **** and why you'd be a moron to have any kind of oneitis for this girl after what she did to you.


That said, good luck and we're all rooting for you.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

You shouldn't have returned any of her calls.

Wild Stallions are only once caught.

 

[Rhino22]

http://www.modelmayhem.com/651006

Well, that's her modeling page. God she looks really bad sometimes lol.

And this is a stupid pic of me. I only had a professional pic taken cause it was for my band...


ttp://i1011.photobucket.com/albums/af235/trickmusic/100226_LivStat_9126_Edit.jpg

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Dude, why are you so hung up on this girl? I remember you posting pics of this thing last year.

Are you a troll? Are you fat or otherwise hideous?

What would compell a man to pursue this woman?

 

[Brighty]

http://www.modelmayhem.com/651006

Well, that's her modeling page. God she looks really bad sometimes lol.

And this is a stupid pic of me. I only had a professional pic taken cause it was for my band...


ttp://i1011.photobucket.com/albums/af235/trickmusic/100226_LivStat_9126_Edit.jpg

Good god. Your ex creeps me the f**k out. Even when she's posing for a professional photographer - who are supposed to highlight your best features - there are some pictures where she just looks awful man. And seriously, what the hell is going on with the pictures of gas masks and pseudo-bondage freaky clowns picture? Seriously, I'm at a loss for words. This the kind of girl you envision raising your kids? Bringing home to mom? Actually taking seriously? Having ****ing oneitis for? After reading her modeling interests are "Blood and Gore" and "Creepy roles", the whole branch swinging and seeing other dudes behind your back warning lights just magnified tenfold. Stay away from this psycho.

In all honesty, I'm surprised you're with that kind of girl, considering how you look, I was expecting someone a lot more unattractive. There is no reason why a guy looking like you can not pull a hot girl. You're a decent looking guy in a band and you're fawning over this girl. Come on man. There are slvtty groupies that are worth more than her.

 

[Rhino22]

Naw man, all that blood and gore stuff is just a joke lol. Maybe I just feel comfortable with her? SHe is really alot of fun..

 

[Mr. Non-Juan]

Sigh... just watch the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytQZHLpPC2U

-Non Juan

 

[Brighty]

Naw man, all that blood and gore stuff is just a joke lol. Maybe I just feel comfortable with her? SHe is really alot of fun..

Looking at some of her photos I really don't think she's kidding bud. And now you're defending her and complimenting her. The girl who cheated on you. This is so hilarious I feel its worth saying again.


You are complimenting the girl who deliberately saw a guy behind your back, probably slept with him multiple times while she made up excuses not to have sex with you, and then broke it off with you with some MADE UP excuse. You are defending a girl who broke a 4 year relationship off with a LIE, who has probably slept with other guys that you have no idea about. You are defending her honor against a bunch of anonymous guys on an internet message board in which you posted a topic about how to not get sucked back in to falling for her. And worst of all, SHE IS HARDLY EVEN ATTRACTIVE and yet you think she's the best you can do.

Re-read that a few times.

Once again.

If that's how you really feel, then go ahead and run back to her then, stop wasting everyone's time and extending this pity party bull**** to get your self-worth fix before you go back to her walking all over you like she did in your relationship.

 

[Rhino22]

So you don't think she is kidding eh?

 

[In2theGame]

Ok, so my gf of 4 years left me last summer to go be with another guy. At first she lied about why we were breaking up because I'm sensitive and she didn't want me to know.

Come on dude. Your going to get back with someone like this?



Sadly all girls are like this but its up to the man to call the chick out on their Bullsh*t.

 

[Strat]

Ok here's the deal... She was using you before. She met a guy with what she thought would be more benefits, and branch swung on you. Now, its not working out, FOR HER, so she wants to come back... FOR HER. Not for you, its all about her agenda. And guess what she'll do as soon as she meets another dude with more bennies? <poof> Its the same game all over again.

You can do much better. I looked at both pics. She is kinda attractive in a dark way but what's important to realize is the dark ones have issues usually. How do I know this? I'm a musician too, I've dated em. They can be fun but... usually they are hiding from serious low self esteem, that's why the provocative looks and behavior.

Plus honestly , dreads, even blonde dreads are just gross I don't care if its a wig.

Dude, trust me, there are more. Find several new ones.

 

[Rhino22]

Ok here's the deal... She was using you before. She met a guy with what she thought would be more benefits, and branch swung on you. Now, its not working out, FOR HER, so she wants to come back... FOR HER. Not for you, its all about her agenda. And guess what she'll do as soon as she meets another dude with more bennies? <poof> Its the same game all over again.

You can do much better. I looked at both pics. She is kinda attractive in a dark way but what's important to realize is the dark ones have issues usually. How do I know this? I'm a musician too, I've dated em. They can be fun but... usually they are hiding from serious low self esteem, that's why the provocative looks and behavior.

Plus honestly , dreads, even blonde dreads are just gross I don't care if its a wig.

Dude, trust me, there are more. Find several new ones.

You know I guess part of it is I feel like crap because deep down I know she freakin sucks and wonder why someone like her would actually think someone like me is not good enough. I mean, I fou nd out things about this other guy...he is such a freakin loser. He's freakin weird lookin, too.

 

[In2theGame]

You know I guess part of it is I feel like crap because deep down I know she freakin sucks and wonder why someone like her would actually think someone like me is not good enough. I mean, I fou nd out things about this other guy...he is such a freakin loser. He's freakin weird lookin, too.

Rhino, Let me tell you, i know exactly how you feel dude. Ive been where you are. Girls are emotional idiots, its not that your not good enough but whatever dont worry about her, worry about you. There plenty of girls out there to choose from. If you really want to get into detail, she says she blew it, Yeah im sure she was blowin the other guy while you felt like crap. now all of a sudden her relationship isnt working out and she wants to rekindle? give me a f*ckin break. what she really means is "He got tired of blowin his load in my mouth so he's not that into me anymore, I need someone to branch back to" its brutal to think about but its the truth.

Fix yourself up and move on. I bet she will be thinking about you non stop if you shoot her down, theres nothing a girl hates more than not being able to get the guy that she wants or what she had.

 

[Proselytiser]

DonGorgon's idea is good if you can handle the jealousy games she'll probably try and play on you

My advice is to reject her and cut her off completely with the least bitterness and spite that you can. It should give you confidence to know that you've done that

 

[Commandante]

To Rhino22:

I have a really good friend of mine, who was in a similar situation like you a couple of years ago. He was really desperate about loosing the love of his life. But she came back after a while and now they are married and have a child, and he still seems to be happy. He never ever mentioned the time again when they broke up.

I only want to say that sometimes you can give a second chance. My friend is a kind of natural but it may function for you as well.

But if I were you I wouldn´t even talk to the chick until she breaks up with her BF and goes on absolutely no contact with him.

 

[starplayer]

Yeah definitely don't get back with her.

Even having her as an FB isn't the best idea because she'll probably reel you back in.

Go no contact on her.