The easiest way to screw up with women

viking22

Don Juan
Joined
May 14, 2007
Messages
198
Reaction score
41
In the words of a really hot female friend of mine "I hate needy guys". She is frustrated that all the guys she meets either want a one night stand, or want a relationship right away or start acting all clingy and needy.

And that is the secret. Girls can sense neediness in a guy and it repulses them.

It is relatively easy to learn enough game to attract girls. But the hardest thing to do is to get rid of that AFC neediness that has a tendency to linger on.

What I have found helps is:

1) Work as hard as you can to get to the stage where you are confident that you can get girls. That way you know if things don't work out with girl A, you can just go out and get some other girl.

2) Get used to being alone. One cause of neediness is fear of being alone. When a girl becomes integral to your happiness it is hardly surprising you cling to her because you fear losing her will also mean losing your happiness. But it is never good to be reliant on others, you have to be happy period with or without a girl. If that requires a complete break from women so be it.
Get a life first, then you'll be able to date girls with a much more relaxed approach.

3) Cut out all the silly daydreaming, thinking about her.....usually a sign of too much time on your hands! Keep busy and you will not have the time to get infatuated. Control of your thoughts is the key to success in all areas of life.

4) Fake it till you make it. While it is best if you eliminate all neediness by using the tips above, this will take time, and in the meantime eliminate all the actions and needy things you say. Examples include going all mushy and saying how you feel, calling her too often, being too nice to her, going out of your way to see her, and doing romantic things much too soon

5) You are at most danger of acting needy when you have fallen for a girl. It is relatively easy not to act needy when your emotions are not really involved. But it is much harder when you really like a girl. An AFC tendency is to fall for girls far too quickly and girls hate it. You never want to fall for a girl unless she has fallen for you first and even then be careful because girls are very fickle and fall in and out of love very very quickly. You have to be able to keep your emotions under control and if you feel yourself falling for her, take a step back, snap out of it and remember you are just experiencing infatuation and the feelings aren't real.
 

fbplayer06

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 20, 2004
Messages
193
Reaction score
1
Age
36
Monster said:
Good post A+
I agree.

Strangely and impressively enough, this is exactly how "falling for a girl"/"letting AFCness linger" has happened to me. Your suggested remedies are spot on.

Again, good post! :up:
 

FurryFriend

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Messages
43
Reaction score
0
Very good post!

Inexperienced guys tend to think that girls like clingy guys....because guys like clingy girls (right?!) and all that Mr Nice Guy BS out there in the movies. But the fact is, guys and girls DO NOT THINK ALIKE. Do not assume charms that work on a man will work on a women.

This post belongs on the Sosuave.com frontpage as a featured article.
 

Flirt-o-rama

Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
20
Reaction score
1
Guys don't like clingy girls. They may sleep with them but don't like them.
Girls don't like clingy guys. They may shop with them but don't like them.
 

bigshot

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
163
Reaction score
1
Location
Leeds
Yes you are right...thats how i lost my first gf, i got too clingy and things got rather serious a bit too quickly. I so wish i had come across this site back then.

Good Post!:)
 

logic1

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
340
Reaction score
17
viking22 said:
She is frustrated that all the guys she meets either want a one night stand, or want a relationship right away or start acting all clingy and needy.
Good post but find a different women to qoute

So, what exactly does this women want? She sounds like a drama queen.

What is in between these 2 extremes she is talking about. 10 dates with no sex?..........................................
 

Jon55

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 12, 2007
Messages
509
Reaction score
3
A++ Would read again! :up:
 

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2004
Messages
3,285
Reaction score
49
Location
Baltimore, MD
First things first, I would like to say that this post is very good and women are only a supplement to your life, NOT a be all and end all. I would never try to go for a relationship that is like that.

What I say is in bold.
viking22 said:
What I have found helps is:

1) Work as hard as you can to get to the stage where you are confident that you can get girls. That way you know if things don't work out with girl A, you can just go out and get some other girl.

Never work hard at something. That is retarded, instead work smart. You will be much better off. Think. You will get most things done ten times quicker. Basically have options at all time. The best thing that I always do, is let the girls KNOW that I have options that are open to me. I got three numbers the one night while I was out on a date with my ex-girlfriend. She knew that she had to do extra stuff if she wanted to keep me around (that didn't happen).

2) Get used to being alone. One cause of neediness is fear of being alone. When a girl becomes integral to your happiness it is hardly surprising you cling to her because you fear losing her will also mean losing your happiness. But it is never good to be reliant on others, you have to be happy period with or without a girl. If that requires a complete break from women so be it.
Get a life first, then you'll be able to date girls with a much more relaxed approach.

If you are unhappy with your life and being alone. Become happy before you go after that dream girl. You will become a bore to her. That is the reason that I never went after any girls for almost six months straight after I broke up with my ex. I wanted to become happy with myself before I invited any girl into my life.

3) Cut out all the silly daydreaming, thinking about her.....usually a sign of too much time on your hands! Keep busy and you will not have the time to get infatuated. Control of your thoughts is the key to success in all areas of life.

I always cancel out all of those disney/hollywood feelings with either good old fashion hard work or looking at investments. I do this so I don't start to AFC it back to neediness.

4) Fake it till you make it. While it is best if you eliminate all neediness by using the tips above, this will take time, and in the meantime eliminate all the actions and needy things you say. Examples include going all mushy and saying how you feel, calling her too often, being too nice to her, going out of your way to see her, and doing romantic things much too soon

I call this "acting as if." I will act as if I already have something. I skipped out on asking my current girlfriend out for almost two months before I ended up asking her out for a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. But I treated her as such that she was my girlfriend.

5) You are at most danger of acting needy when you have fallen for a girl. It is relatively easy not to act needy when your emotions are not really involved. But it is much harder when you really like a girl. An AFC tendency is to fall for girls far too quickly and girls hate it. You never want to fall for a girl unless she has fallen for you first and even then be careful because girls are very fickle and fall in and out of love very very quickly. You have to be able to keep your emotions under control and if you feel yourself falling for her, take a step back, snap out of it and remember you are just experiencing infatuation and the feelings aren't real.

This is the reason why, I don't go after girls anymore. I have more of a chick/guy philosophy anymore.

This is a little bit different from the common perception of girl/guy dynamic. I don't approach girls anymore for sex or a relationship anymore. I approach simply to be a friend and make a connection. Usually though, my attitude is that of sex or sexual innuendos that it is FUN to be around. So, I hang out with the girls for a bit. I then let my personality attract them and then I will go out with them if they show interest first. I look for both types of IOI's, high and low.

It is a very actively regressive strategy that I only suggest for the highest DJ's to even attempt. This makes sure that I do not get clingy or anything because I will be in control. They are more then likely already falling for me if they show interest in me this early in the game. It is a win-win if you can pull it off.
Flirt-o-rama
Guys don't like clingy girls. They may sleep with them but don't like them.
I will explain why this is very true. My ex-girlfriend would call me at least 5 times per day and it was nice in the beginning but it became a pain for this. SHe wouldn't let me sleep or anything. I wanted to break my shoe off in her @$$ because of this. Eventually, I broke up with her after the infatuation lost its fun. She just became b!tchy. Believe me, do NOT go after clingy girls. They suck.

I just started to look for the complete opposite of it. My new girl hates the hollywood BS that is centered around it. Refuses to believe in love. Has a very male oriented mind :p .

Lesson Learned: DO NOT DATE NEEDY GIRLS!!! THEY SUCK!!!

comic_relief
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,502
Reaction score
63
Location
Galt's Gulch
comic_relief said:
...Lesson Learned: DO NOT DATE NEEDY GIRLS!!! THEY SUCK!!!
So true. Unfortunately there are tons of guys who feel validated when they date a woman who's sucking the life out of them.
 
Top