The downside of DJ

[becker]

Let me tell you guys, sometimes this DJ stuff just seems to draw the wrong crowd.

There's this girl in a class I'm in right now, who I hardly know. She was in one of my classes during the year, but I never made that much effort to get to know her better. I sort of did some innocent C+F, but not with any intention to get anything out of it. She was a friend of this other girl that I knew for 3 years.

Anyways, the girl that I've known and get along with is sitting next to me, and I enjoy talking to her. This other girl sits a few seats down. Anyways, she does whatever she can to keep me from talking to this other girl, and it's annoying as hell. When the girl would get up for a while, she would sit down in her seat next to me and when the girl came back, she'd keep sitting there. Then she'd say stuff like "I want to sit here". Then today she asked me for my sign and she said I was supposed to be her perfect match. Then, she says you never know what might happen. She smokes and although she isn't that bad looking, she and I are birds of a different feather, and I'm sure our social circles aren't even remotely close. I never date people who smoke either, since girls who smoke are a total turnoff to me.

Anyways, I guess it shows that this DJ stuff can work, but I act this way to all women I know, and some are more drawn to it than others. It tends to draw women that I'm not into though, and they all seem to fall into a certain type.

 

[Dee-Zy]

yeah, sometime it kinda is a curse.


My problem is I'm still too nice, I don't wanna lead them on. I HAVE to change that.

 

[tx_xp]

Just talk to the one that you want one break or something, bypass the **** blocker

 

[Oxide]

oh. this is what i get from girls "oh, he is an *******, he wont help you" with a smile usually, to get my attention.

i see girls staring at me , and im just smiling knowing that there are so many *****es and one perfect me

 

[becker]

Normally I'd be ok with girls liking me, but not when they try to prevent me from talking to another girl who I like better.

This is why I say that if 2 people come together and they have chemistry, it's easy, but if it's a one-way street, it's going to be very difficult to do anything.

Do you guys think attraction works in the same manner in both men and women? By that, I know that men are a little more visual while women are generally more into emotional attachment. I can say right now that there's NO CHANCE I'll ever be attracted to this girl, because it's an instant turn-off that she smokes. Furthermore, we have absolutely no common interests.

This sort of brings up one of my past posts, where I stated that people tend to be attracted to certain types, and this is a good example. I can say right now that I won't be attracted to a girl that smokes, no matter how beautiful she is. No exceptions. So whatever she tries to win me over (she's almost tried everything in the DJ bible, such as being less available (I just didn't even think twice about her), trying to make me jealous by talking about her other guy friends (My thought: who cares, I hope you find one you like and settle down with him)).

Anyways, it's sort of a good perspective on attraction. I think that the personalities and values have to match, otherwise, it's sort of a doomed relationship anyways. Sort of sucks though, if you're into a girl who has no interest in you but you're interested in her, but then again, you probably won't be interested in a girl who is not at least your type.

 

[HappyHobo]

What kind of DJ are you letting a girl prevent you from anything?
Your not at the full dj level yet i can tell you that much

So your statement that there are downsides of DJ is WRONG!
A dj does not let a girl in control of him .. i dont care whatever the case may be... this does not also apply vice versa.... i am not saying a DJ is in control of the girl.... DJ'S ARE NOT CONTROLLING OF OTHER PEOPLE >> THEY ARE NOT DICTATORS>> THEY ARE NOT TYRANTS
THERE ARE NO DOWNSIDES OF BEING A DJ!!

DJS are in control of THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!
Get a handle on your life and learn how to not be negative
who cares if she smokes... you can still be friends with her if you dong want to go out with her... and who cares if a girl is not interested in you... get her interested by charming her
But before you do that you have to be DJ ... read the bible some more

 

[Ar7]

Geez why restrict yoursef to one particular type of gals?? Be like the water dude, just like the water. Enjoy the flavours of the world.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by HappyHobo
What kind of DJ are you letting a girl prevent you from anything?
Your not at the full dj level yet i can tell you that much

So your statement that there are downsides of DJ is WRONG!
A dj does not let a girl in control of him .. i dont care whatever the case may be... this does not also apply vice versa.... i am not saying a DJ is in control of the girl.... DJ'S ARE NOT CONTROLLING OF OTHER PEOPLE >> THEY ARE NOT DICTATORS>> THEY ARE NOT TYRANTS
THERE ARE NO DOWNSIDES OF BEING A DJ!!

DJS are in control of THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!
Get a handle on your life and learn how to not be negative
who cares if she smokes... you can still be friends with her if you dong want to go out with her... and who cares if a girl is not interested in you... get her interested by charming her
But before you do that you have to be DJ ... read the bible some more

When did I say that I have let a girl control me? The only thing I said was that being a DJ doesn't always attract only the girls you want, it sometimes attracts the girls you DON'T want. This is a problem because girls can get all catty around each other, and they do stuff to block you from other girls. One particularly annoying trick that this one girl does is that she hogs the other girl's attention by talking to her so that she can't talk to me. She's not controlling me, but she's controlling the environment, so it's sort of an indirect hit, but you can't do anything about that. What are you going to do, just butt in on the conversation? I'm not that desperate, but it can just be annoying, that's all.

I think you also missed the point because I am friends with this girl, but personally, are you usually friends with people with whom you have nothing in common with? I mean, that's already bad enough, and then she has to throw in the ****-blocking.

Finally, I don't think that the DJ thing works on all girls, that was my point. If you don't fall into a person's type, the odds are against you from the start, whereas being that there are so many girls out there, it seems smarter to just not spend all your time trying to get a girl to somehow like you if you're not their type.

 

[HappyHobo]

Becker,

Excuse my behavior from the last post... I was starting to get pissed off at people on this site in general because people can be so ignorant sometimes and I also wanted to see how you would react.... to my tone and manner.



Contrary to your statement, i believe Djing works on EVERY girl
as long as they are a normal human and sane it will work

The thing is .. someitmes you need to go at a different angle when you DJ ... DJ consists of MANY things.... all these things are GOOD .... look at it this way... do you know of a girl who absolutely hates fun? do u know of a girl who absolutely hates confidence? do you know of a girl who absolutely hates courage in a guy? do u know of a girl who hates it when a guy cares about her????I have never met a girl who has... They might prefer the guy to have one more than the other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NONE OF IT IS BAD its just they might want a guy who is more confident than funny !

Cheers to life my friend!

 

[drixsa]

becker-

you situation was not really a down side

you gained confidence after dealing with this situation and surely it made you feel better about yourself, and your improving skillz

 

[IDMeansNothing]

Becker brings up an interesting scenario...

"One particularly annoying trick that this one girl does is that she hogs the other girl's attention by talking to her so that she can't talk to me. "

Any suggestions on how to handle this? Do you handle it with the girl you want to talk to, or do you handle it with the attention blocker?

 

[becker]

Good point by drixa, and HappyHobo, don't sweat it, no big deal, I welcome and appreciate all responses, good or bad.

As for handling this blocker situation, I went to lunch today with 4 girls, and 2 of them were the ones mentioned above in my initial post. I just sort of pay more attention to the one I like being around, and you just sort of steal the spotlight from the other girl. I guess that seems to be the best solution with minimum conflict.

It certainly isn't bad for the confidence for girls to be interested in you, but at the same time, it's a double-edged sword.