The dilemma of the successful man

[OnTheWayUp]

Let's leave the day-to-day SS squabbles over how to arrange a perfect first date, whether to leave your gf, and how to escalate to one side for a moment. Let's look at the bigger picture and look into the future.


Most of us came to SS because we were a work in progress. We were rejected by "that one girl" and wanted to get her at all costs. The longer you stay on here and work at the philosophy of self-improvement this board advocates, the more you realise it's not about the one girl who rejected you in high school or college. It's about building a way of life which is successful and happy- and a by-product of that lifestyle is success with the ladies.

So as I said at the beginning of the post, let's gaze into the future for a moment. Let's imagine that you've become one of the top guys around in whatever field you've chosen. If you want to go into politics, you've become a flashy ambassador or a high-ranking minister. If you want to be a musician, you've finally made it into the public eye in the band or your dreams. You might have started your own business about your passion, and things have finally taken off. You have a body most men would kill for after years of hard work in the gym and in your diet. I'm exaggerating for effect, but you get the picture.

Here's the dilemma. Your success and high social status means that women in their sexual prime are falling over themselves trying to pursue you. You have more female options than ever before in your life. At the same time, you want to start a family. Social pressure to be monogamous (publically at least) means that doing this outside a monogamous family unit might be detrimental to your career and reputation. You want to sleep with all the girls that are making moves on you, but appreciate that doing so risks jeopardising all your hard work. Look at what happened to Tiger Woods or Congressman Weiner.

The kings of old had it easy. They had one special girl (the queen) who they elevated above all others, and could sleep with as many young concubines as they wished- without jeopardising their social status for the most part. To summarise: in the age of democracy and egalitarianism- both political and sexual- successful men in the public limelight face a dilemma:

How do successful men best monopolise the sexuality of the most fertile girls, whilst simultaneously preserving their career, a relationship with a traditional-style "life partner" that they love, and a functional family?

 

[zekko]

Look at what happened to Tiger Woods or Congressman Weiner.

The problem with these guys is that they took a vow of monogamy (got married) and then proceeded to break it (cheat). Tiger would have been fine if he just wouldn't have gotten married. Politicians, however, usually benefit career-wise from having families (unlike golfers).

But I agree with you that men tend to be pulled in two directions. They want to have variety with numerous women, while at the same time they want to pair bond with a certain woman they value above the others. I still think the best answer is to not get married.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

The problem with these guys is that they took a vow of monogamy (got married) and then proceeded to break it (cheat). Tiger would have been fine if he just wouldn't have gotten married. Politicians, however, usually benefit career-wise from having families (unlike golfers).

But I agree with you that men tend to be pulled in two directions. They want to have variety with numerous women, while at the same time they want to pair bond with a certain woman they value above the others. I still think the best answer is to not get married.

Interesting, do you think the same social stigma applies to men who get caught cheating in LTRs that aren't marriages?

 

[zekko]

Interesting, do you think the same social stigma applies to men who get caught cheating in LTRs that aren't marriages?

I don't think it's as bad. It's like they were trying to destroy Tiger, and he lost a bunch of endorsements.

Kristen Stewart is getting a lot of bad press for cheating on her boyfriend, but she's a woman. I think she's also made it worse on her self the way she reacted (trying to deflect blame, dropping out of her movie). It's like she keeps calling attention to it.

I'm trying to think of a male celebrity who was roasted in the press for cheating on his girlfriend, but none come to mind. I'm sure there have beeen some.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

@Zekko Most male celebrities get roasted for cheating when it first comes out - Arnold Schwarzenegger comes to mind - but what usually ends up happening as time goes on is that people are able to recognize that it's usually the result of either one or both parties not taking care of the other person's needs. I.E. the man gets caught cheating as a result of his wife/girlfriend not taking care of his sexual needs at home.

So as not to sound sexist, this is not always the case, and indeed there are men out there who just want to bang everything they can, regardless of if they have a significant other. But there are MORE than enough cases of a woman suddenly being too tired all the time, or losing her libido, to where people can understand WHY the male cheated, even if it's a lousy thing to do.

 

[Poonani Maker]

The problem with these guys is that they took a vow of monogamy (got married) and then proceeded to break it (cheat). Tiger would have been fine if he just wouldn't have gotten married. Politicians, however, usually benefit career-wise from having families (unlike golfers).

But I agree with you that men tend to be pulled in two directions. They want to have variety with numerous women, while at the same time they want to pair bond with a certain woman they value above the others. I still think the best answer is to not get married.

Yup, Jack Nicholson banged a LOT of young'uns, (he) never got married. I don't think that he has regrets for that. I mean, he was still able to produce several (I think) children by these young'uns, BUT he has the financial means to backstop all this. Most guys don't.

Clooney, the same..Learn from the pros..

 

[nismo-4]

If you are successful, DON'T GET F**KIN' MARRIED!!! Divorce is a b**ch to men!

 

[OnTheWayUp]

@Zekko Most male celebrities get roasted for cheating when it first comes out - Arnold Schwarzenegger comes to mind - but what usually ends up happening as time goes on is that people are able to recognize that it's usually the result of either one or both parties not taking care of the other person's needs. I.E. the man gets caught cheating as a result of his wife/girlfriend not taking care of his sexual needs at home.

So as not to sound sexist, this is not always the case, and indeed there are men out there who just want to bang everything they can, regardless of if they have a significant other. But there are MORE than enough cases of a woman suddenly being too tired all the time, or losing her libido, to where people can understand WHY the male cheated, even if it's a lousy thing to do.

Lots of good points here. The difficulty is that most of the world doesn't see things from such an egalitarian perspective. When was the last time you heard a woman being put down in public for not having sex with her husband enough, or not giving frequent bl0wjobs? There is a social expectation that women (especially wives) control their men's sexuality, and it is the individual woman's prerogative to behave as they choose. Society is set up to allow beta men to get lifelong access to one woman, to allow women to pin men down in their most fertile years, and does not judge women enough for not pleasing their men later down the line.

Successful men, by contrast, are prevented from fulfilling their biological imperative of sleeping with as many young, fertile women as possible. The legal system, conservative views on abortion, monogamous marriage, marriage as a prerequisite to career success in politics, the social stigma associated with sleeping with girls who are "young enough to be your daughter" .... the list of social repercussions for the sucessful man seem to be endless.

How can men who make it in the world get past these limitations?

 

[bigneil]

The kings of old had it easy. They had one special girl (the queen) who they elevated above all others, and could sleep with as many young concubines as they wished- without jeopardising their social status for the most part.

That would be great. If we just happened to be King.

At no time in History however did Beta males rule the world, nor will they ever (unless you count the incestuous offspring who inherit shadowy Bankster oligarchies).

 

[Trump]

There is a risk reward to everything in life. Either:

1) get married, have kids, don't cheat
2) don't get married, don't have kids, sleep with girls

But you can't get married, have kids, sleep with girls, and then expect the Market not to get mad that you cheated on your wife because girls were throwing themselves at you.

That's like telling the world "don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

 

[prickster]

Here's the dilemma. Your success and high social status means that women in their sexual prime are falling over themselves trying to pursue you. You have more female options than ever before in your life. At the same time, you want to start a family. Social pressure to be monogamous (publically at least) means that doing this outside a monogamous family unit might be detrimental to your career and reputation. You want to sleep with all the girls that are making moves on you, but appreciate that doing so risks jeopardising all your hard work. Look at what happened to Tiger Woods or Congressman Weiner.

...

How do successful men best monopolise the sexuality of the most fertile girls, whilst simultaneously preserving their career, a relationship with a traditional-style "life partner" that they love, and a functional family?

very, very interesting, lots of presuppositions with inside the box perspective, etc. let`s take it one-by-one

Your success and high social status means that women in their sexual prime are falling over themselves trying to pursue you

don`t kid yourself dude, women are passive, there are 3 types women that will "hunt you down"

1. very young, drunken chicks at clubs
2. women around 30 who feel social pressure to get married
3. 35+ old 'milfs', more precisely woman that have a carrier, been married or never want to and are looking for a exclusively sexual partner

not to troll you here buddy, but women are passive, they just look, walk around you and smile at you if they really-really like you, what the heck, some women are confused about their desires towards you, so it`s up to you the man to go there and build momentum

have women approached me? yes, they were from those 3 categories I`ve mentioned before

well of course I had it more than once that they came over in the mall, offering me to try out some cheese, or when they were selling hand cream asking me if I had a gf, which by the way I turned into flirting, I was worried they were thinking me gay or something, and why they are offering the hand cream, but at the end of the day, got phone # and a full flake to ... whatever

and btw I know a few rich guys, who are just horrible with people and women in general avoid them, regardless of them sitting with nice clothes in suv`s and big houses, etc.

money and social status matters sh*t, if you are an idiot

Look at what happened to Tiger Woods or Congressman Weiner.

just a streetsmart advice, one bird in the hand is worth more than 3 sitting on the bush next to you ... so when you are a vip at these guys levels and having that much sex, with that much attention from the media, than you can worry about your stuff, until than, one thing at a time, one thing at a time

traditional-style "life partner" that they love, and a functional family?

I saw this on Dr.Phil, it`s about open marriage, see if you like the concept

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQNdoTjFAnY

here`s their own website

http://www.jujumamablog.com/2012/07/31/the-myth-of-monogamy-video-series/

they base mostly their lifestyle on the ideas presented in the book "Sex at Dawn"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_at_Dawn

http://www.salon.com/2010/06/27/sex_at_dawn_interview/

 

[OnTheWayUp]

That would be great. If we just happened to be King.

At no time in History however did Beta males rule the world, nor will they ever (unless you count the incestuous offspring who inherit shadowy Bankster oligarchies).

Agreed, but my point was more about males who join the ranks of the alphas by hard work. How can these successful men make sure they have access to a lifetime of young pu$$y without ruining their career?

Then again, your post raises an interesting question: do we perhaps finally live in a beta's world as far as career success is concerned?

 

[J Roc]

successful men should never get married.

 

[OnTheWayUp]

successful men should never get married.

Whilst that might protect you from the scandals of divorce and (to some extent) cheating, I'm not convinced it would solve the problem. People would always be asking why you weren't married, and you'd forever be viewed as a contrarian, which is dangerous in many professions. You could raise a child out of wedlock and have a pretty normal family life, however, but I still don't see how you can both have a family and sleep with lots of fertile girls. To do both seems to require you to be a sultan or something.

Any more suggestions?

 

[Burroughs]

There is a risk reward to everything in life. Either:

1) get married, have kids, don't cheat
2) don't get married, don't have kids, sleep with girls

"

Who defines what is a reward

women collectively?! :crackup:

Its odd that a man would give a flying fvck what any person has to say on how to live let alone a beta fag or a feminist....the alpha has nothing to gain from society and everything to lose.

seems like 99% of betafied faggot males are content to chop of their nutsacks and hand it to their women to be kept in their purses.

seems like a lot of rationalizing on how men ought to behave is simply white knight faggotry in disguise

 

[J Roc]

Whilst that might protect you from the scandals of divorce and (to some extent) cheating, I'm not convinced it would solve the problem. People would always be asking why you weren't married, and you'd forever be viewed as a contrarian, which is dangerous in many professions. You could raise a child out of wedlock and have a pretty normal family life, however, but I still don't see how you can both have a family and sleep with lots of fertile girls. To do both seems to require you to be a sultan or something.

Any more suggestions?

I would hate to work in profession where I was penalized/looked down upon for not being married. Thats a job for a pussified man.