The difference between being straightforward and persuasion books

[nelysses]

In every book I have read on persuasion and sociality, there is talk about praising people, portraying them as superior, not contradicting people, etc. he would mention.
But the last books I read talk about men needing to be a little more straightforward. And because it's more attractive etc.

In short, don't be perfect. You too have mistakes. He says it is more attractive to voice these and accept them.

Which one makes more sense at this point?


He even gives an example.
He wanted to **** a girl, but he was embarrassed because he was too nervous. He told this to the girl and everything got better, the girl understood him.
Even though he was very embarrassed at the time because you were honest and didn't seek approval, he got better afterward.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In every book I have read on persuasion and sociality, there is talk about praising people, portraying them as superior, not contradicting people, etc. he would mention.
But the last books I read talk about men needing to be a little more straightforward. And because it's more attractive etc.

In short, don't be perfect. You too have mistakes. He says it is more attractive to voice these and accept them.

Which one makes more sense at this point?


He even gives an example.
He wanted to **** a girl, but he was embarrassed because he was too nervous. He told this to the girl and everything got better, the girl understood him.
Even though he was very embarrassed at the time because you were honest and didn't seek approval, he got better afterward.

What's the title and author of the book?

 

[nelysses]

What's the title and author of the book?

If you're asking about the second one I mentioned, it's Mark Manson's book Models: Attract Women Through Honesty.

He generally talks about getting into the "man" mind and doing whatever you want(not narcism), rather than playing perfect or performing tricks for the girl. It's better to be a little straightforward. Instead of trying to impress the girl, it is better to show sincere interest in the girl and accept it if she does not succeed.

Actually, all of these seem true, but on the other hand, the books I read say differently.

For example, the Sosuave guide says: The more you have in common is better. create commonalities. Here, if the girl is interested in something, I act like I'm interested in her too. When a girl makes a joke, I laugh even if it's not funny, etc.

But Mark Manson says in Models: Be what you are. If you act like you wouldn't normally, the girl will realize how needy you are.
You can pick up insecure girls in short-term relationships, but you won't have a healthy relationship with a confident girl.
If you won't laugh, don't laugh. If you try to impress a girl with a story, don't do that, Don't try to impress her with tricks...

 

[BaronOfHair]

If you're asking about the second one I mentioned, it's Mark Manson's book Models: Attract Women Through Honesty.

He generally talks about getting into the "man" mind and doing whatever you want(not narcism), rather than playing perfect or performing tricks for the girl. It's better to be a little straightforward. Instead of trying to impress the girl, it is better to show sincere interest in the girl and accept it if she does not succeed.

Actually, all of these seem true, but on the other hand, the books I read say differently.

For example, the Sosuave guide says: The more you have in common is better. create commonalities. Here, if the girl is interested in something, I act like I'm interested in her too. When a girl makes a joke, I laugh even if it's not funny, etc.

But Mark Manson says in Models: Be what you are. If you act like you wouldn't normally, the girl will realize how needy you are.
You can pick up insecure girls in short-term relationships, but you won't have a healthy relationship with a confident girl.
If you won't laugh, don't laugh. If you try to impress a girl with a story, don't do that, Don't try to impress her with tricks...

Superb as MM's The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F-ck is, taking his counsel on attracting the ladies seriously is more foolhardy than seeking advice from Amanda Knox on successfully co-existing with a roommate https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Meredith_Kercher

This is the same Manson who's recently been churning out intellectually bankrupt dreck like this https://m.facebook.com/story.php?id=100044491057032&story_fbid=1197299310399040

Be what you are, IF it's getting you close to achieving your objective. If what you are is pathetic and noxious like so

, well, it just may be wise to become a man similar to https://theattractiveman.com/11-rea... is Unapologetic,is to accommodate her tastes.

 

[nelysses]

Superb as MM's The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F-ck is, taking his counsel on attracting the ladies seriously is more foolhardy than seeking advice from Amanda Knox on successfully co-existing with a roommate https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Meredith_Kercher

This is the same Manson who's recently been churning out intellectually bankrupt dreck like this https://m.facebook.com/story.php?id=100044491057032&story_fbid=1197299310399040

Be what you are, IF it's getting you close to achieving your objective. If what you are is pathetic and noxious like so

, well, it just may be wise to become a man similar to https://theattractiveman.com/11-reasons-women-are-obsessed-with-christian-grey-50-shades-of-grey/#:~:text=He is Unapologetic,is to accommodate her tastes.

Actually, I've been searching for a while.
I have books on persuasion in general, not girls. They work, but it's not about "find similarities" or "praise the other person and flatter their pride".
I realized that when I did their tactics, people saw me as a loser, not as an individual. Maybe I'm a people pleaser because I do too much, I don't know.
But at the end of the day, that's what happened.
I was wondering if MM should be given a chance. Am I wrong?

 

[BaronOfHair]

I have books on persuasion in general, not girls

What books and which authors?

 

[Vanderdonck]

If you're asking about the second one I mentioned, it's Mark Manson's book Models: Attract Women Through Honesty.

He generally talks about getting into the "man" mind and doing whatever you want(not narcism), rather than playing perfect or performing tricks for the girl. It's better to be a little straightforward. Instead of trying to impress the girl, it is better to show sincere interest in the girl and accept it if she does not succeed.

Actually, all of these seem true, but on the other hand, the books I read say differently.

For example, the Sosuave guide says: The more you have in common is better. create commonalities. Here, if the girl is interested in something, I act like I'm interested in her too. When a girl makes a joke, I laugh even if it's not funny, etc.

But Mark Manson says in Models: Be what you are. If you act like you wouldn't normally, the girl will realize how needy you are.
You can pick up insecure girls in short-term relationships, but you won't have a healthy relationship with a confident girl.
If you won't laugh, don't laugh. If you try to impress a girl with a story, don't do that, Don't try to impress her with tricks...

I side more with Manson on this. However the commonalities aspect generally comes naturally if you are interested in the girl. If she makes a joke I'll either laugh (bc it's funny) or tease her (bc it bombed). If she's interested in something, I don't pretend to be interested, but I ask questions. If it's a turn off subject like politics I find a way out of it. I don't believe in pretending to have something in common at all.

The important thing is my own self acceptance, not what she thinks.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Persuasion and seduction strategies are very much dependent on the confidence of the user.

If you're extremely confident, you don't need any strategies.

But if you're not very confident at all, no strategies will work.

 

[Agamemnon43]

Masons talks about intentions. Honest intentions are the most important. Lies will reflect back to you and scr*w you up- that's why most of the "help me, need advice" threads appear here in the first place.
Maybe you need some player tactics in your younger teen and 20's, but once you build your character and you still rely on those "learned advices and strategies" you did something wrong. It's not a foundation to build your future life as a man.

You will always need to "act" a bit here and there, but later on you should have real qualities to attract women.

 

[nelysses]

I side more with Manson on this. However the commonalities aspect generally comes naturally if you are interested in the girl. If she makes a joke I'll either laugh (bc it's funny) or tease her (bc it bombed). If she's interested in something, I don't pretend to be interested, but I ask questions. If it's a turn off subject like politics I find a way out of it. I don't believe in pretending to have something in common at all.

The important thing is my own self acceptance, not what she thinks.

Masons talks about intentions. Honest intentions are the most important. Lies will reflect back to you and scr*w you up- that's why most of the "help me, need advice" threads appear here in the first place.
Maybe you need some player tactics in your younger teen and 20's, but once you build your character and you still rely on those "learned advices and strategies" you did something wrong. It's not a foundation to build your future life as a man.

You will always need to "act" a bit here and there, but later on you should have real qualities to attract women.

Persuasion and seduction strategies are very much dependent on the confidence of the user.

If you're extremely confident, you don't need any strategies.

But if you're not very confident at all, no strategies will work.

Does the issue you mentioned apply to women or to the general population?
I also read books about negotiation and they work.
At this point, people are divided into two.
Some people think that these bargaining books work for girls too. The important thing is that your appearance is also important. (There is a marketer named Andy Elliot and he talks about this. negotation+gym is ok for girls.)

But some people claim the opposite. There are no tactics in love, you be yourself, you will be rejected dozens of times, but eventually you can find the person who suits you... If you can't find it, you should change yourself, not your approach to girls.

At this point I'm closer to Manson, but when I read this I'm doing it as a tactic. I don't know how to adapt it to my life. Will I fake it till you make it?

from another angle.
For example, I am reading a book about rhetoric.
He says words you should never say, or words you should use often.
Frankly, I am someone who always says thank you. The book I read confirms this. The people I see who are really high quality appreciate it. I hear people say, "He's such a nice guy."
But some people (maybe many) around me see this as a weakness. I just become a people pleaser in their eyes when I show interest and curiosity about them.

My weight loss process continues and I still weigh 120 kilos. Maybe that's why everything is going more difficult. I still can't even buy the clothes I want.

 

[BadWatermelon]

The ultimate book on dating with honesty is Mode One by Alan Roger Currie.