The Damage Phase

[Desdinova]

Women who become alpha-widowed generally go through a damage phase. This is when the woman does things which render her completely worthless when it comes to LTR viability. She is not only emotionally destroyed by the man, she also self-destructs by indulging in activities that ruin her in other ways. I currently know of three women going through it.

Girl #1

She was married since her early 20s and they had a house together. The guy cheated on her with one of her friends, so they split up. The girl had been getting drunk for the past year, posting nearly nude photos on FB, and fvcking whatever guy shows her attention.

Girl #2

Married to the guy who took her virginity since her early 20s. They started fighting on a regular basis, so she started going to counselling. She also began posting "depression awareness" stuff on Facebook. After she moved out, her first priority was to get her first tattoo which included a semi-colon which is apparently to raise awareness of mental illness.

Girl #3

Been with her BF for five years since she was in her early 20s. He broke up with her to pursue religion. She is a Type 1 diabetic and has started getting drunk on a nightly basis. She has needed to go to the hospital on numerous occasions because of her fvcked up blood sugar levels.

Given all of the above, why would ANYBODY pursue a relationship with a woman who's been alpha-widowed?

 

[AJ84]

Women who become alpha-widowed generally go through a damage phase. This is when the woman does things which render her completely worthless when it comes to LTR viability. She is not only emotionally destroyed by the man, she also self-destructs by indulging in activities that ruin her in other ways. I currently know of three women going through it.

Girl #1

She was married since her early 20s and they had a house together. The guy cheated on her with one of her friends, so they split up. The girl had been getting drunk for the past year, posting nearly nude photos on FB, and fvcking whatever guy shows her attention.

Girl #2

Married to the guy who took her virginity since her early 20s. They started fighting on a regular basis, so she started going to counselling. She also began posting "depression awareness" stuff on Facebook. After she moved out, her first priority was to get her first tattoo which included a semi-colon which is apparently to raise awareness of mental illness.

Girl #3

Been with her BF for five years since she was in her early 20s. He broke up with her to pursue religion. She is a Type 1 diabetic and has started getting drunk on a nightly basis. She has needed to go to the hospital on numerous occasions because of her fvcked up blood sugar levels.

Given all of the above, why would ANYBODY pursue a relationship with a woman who's been alpha-widowed?

I had to look up alpha widow and found the definition in urban dictionary:

'A woman, usually with average sexual market value (SMV), who sleeps with a high sexual market value male , a/k/a the alpha male, who does not wish to have a long-term relationship with the woman. The woman views the alpha male as superior to most, if not all, of the other men pursuing her, and so the woman continues to lust after the alpha male she cannot have, sacrificing future long-term relationships with lower-SMV men, making her a "widow", in a sense, to the original alpha male.'
So for guys whose goal it is to increase their SMV and casually date as many women as they can ( who see them as the best option), does this mean they should stop so that they don't create more alpha widows for men seeking LTRs?
Like high SMV women who seek and turn men into orbiters who they then have no respect for as men, you know what I mean?
I'm not making a judgement here but I am curious. I mean there are posts about dumping women if they don't put out within 3 to 5 days, spinning plates, not committing, and then there are posts about seeking LTRs. So where does the concept of the alpha widow fit in to all of that?

 

[Desdinova]

So for guys whose goal it is to increase their SMV and casually date as many women as they can ( who see them as the best option), does this mean they should stop so that they don't create more alpha widows for men seeking LTRs?

That's an interesting question!

The way I see it, most men who do this are unaware they're creating alpha widows.

Also, I'm not in complete agreeance with the definition. The guy who alpha-widows the woman is the one who's had the most significant emotional impact on the woman. It is the most devastating loss she will experience in her dating life, and it's usually one of her earliest ones.

That's why women with a lay count of 5 or more is not recommended for LTRs

 

[AJ84]

That's an interesting question!

The way I see it, most men who do this are unaware they're creating alpha widows.

Also, I'm not in complete agreeance with the definition. The guy who alpha-widows the woman is the one who's had the most significant emotional impact on the woman. It is the most devastating loss she will experience in her dating life, and it's usually one of her earliest ones.

That's why women with a lay count of 5 or more is not recommended for LTRs

And some of these women probably don't realize that they are becoming alpha widows ( living for the moment and not looking down the road) so I guess having that insight would be helpful for those young women who want to have LTRs with higher quality young men.

So part of that is knowing what kind of behaviour to avoid that would attract the kind of guy who would turn them into alpha widows. Like showing them a crystal ball into how today's actions could lead to certain consequences in the future.

But it seems like game is about trying to get these young women for casual sex. So for guys who only want causal dating and not a LTR, they should be able to try with the young women right, I mean they can't be expected to avoid casual hook ups with young women so that these women can be preserved, so to speak, for LTR suitability?

Does that make sense? I'm just trying to see how game works in that context re low notch count for young women while also trying to hook up with young women. Because I can see how a lower notch count is better for young women but with all this advice on how to get them in bed ASAP.....

 

[highSpeed]

That's an interesting question!

The way I see it, most men who do this are unaware they're creating alpha widows.

Also, I'm not in complete agreeance with the definition. The guy who alpha-widows the woman is the one who's had the most significant emotional impact on the woman. It is the most devastating loss she will experience in her dating life, and it's usually one of her earliest ones.

That's why women with a lay count of 5 or more is not recommended for LTRs

You've never going to know a woman's true number. It's like the riddle of the sphynx, unknowable. whatever she tells you is an underestimation and on the off chance she's telling you the truth, there is simply no way to know. pretty much every woman lies about their lay count, so why wouldn't any woman you meet? she knows she's not relationship material if she tells you her body count is 10-20-100, so if she's even remotely interested in you, there's no way she's going to tell you the truth. funny though, how truth is so important to them.

 

[Desdinova]

I honestly don't believe a woman can fix the damage by being conscious of what's going on with her feelings or her dating life.

 

[AJ84]

for one genders sexual strategy to succeed the other has to sacrifice theirs. women have had the luxury of being the victors of that struggle for the past 50 or so years.

Besides, betas have always taken leftovers or whatever they can get anyway. so not much of a change there. alphas can get a LTR whenever they want by comparison.not to mention most guys learning game are far from natural alphas. most of them really just want a relationship with one girl. game can help them with that if they didnt stand a chance before.

Is all this moral? probably not by most peoples understanding. but nature does not deal in morality. the sexual market has always been brutal and unforgiving

Sacrifice in what way? In order for someone to be successful regarding a sexual strategy, they have to at least get buy in, so to speak, from the other person or persons. We don't live in an age where people want to sacrifice anything, at least in the beginning and certainly not for someone with which and from which there will be no real investment. I'm thinking of women with high value and options, not trainwrecks who end up in unhealthy relationships.

Re game yeah that's a good point I can see how game can help with getting a LTR, the insight and confidence goes a long way.

 

[AJ84]

I honestly don't believe a woman can fix the damage by being conscious of what's going on with her feelings or her dating life.

I mean by being conscious of it before going down that road. Prevention of the damage. I know you can't unf**k a bunch of guys Hahahaha. Like a born again virgin lol. No.

 

[Billtx49]

I honestly don't believe a woman can fix the damage by being conscious of what's going on with her feelings or her dating life.

Yes. It’s very similiar to a moderately fast rebound situation where the woman misconstrues the residual feelings for her Ex and transfers them to the new guy although they’re not completely genuine for him and won’t usually last.
With an Alpha widow those residuals probably never go away completely…

 

[exhausted]

I honestly don't believe a woman can fix the damage by being conscious of what's going on with her feelings or her dating life.

Agreed because most women, 9/10 at least, can't control their emotions and even when aware of them they can not control their ability to rationalize them. They are like helpless children.

 

[exhausted]

Most women do not have the ability to change or grow. They are a one way train and usually a train wreck waiting to happen.

This is true for all the women I dated and also when I look at women that are just my friends they are the exact same in every relationship even when they fail time and time again. No change. No growth. Same ending. And these are quality women overall. Honest and good families, good jobs. Just don't have the submissive wife trait.

I see this in my 3 sisters as well. They are each the very same as they were growing up personality wise.
One is married and 2 are divorced. The one married will remain married as she has the right personality for a family dynamic as she puts the family first then herself, the other two will always be divorced or get divorced again.

Men on on this site all day long working hard to be better in every way to find a wonderful woman and most women are on fb with their orbiters. What's that tell you.

 

[Killakittie]

The problem is people practice being who they want others to perceive them as for their whole lives. And that's massively assuming the man is aware of what an alpha widow is which he most likely doesn't.
Regardless first impressions of women are usually wrong and its fatal to rely on assumptions to much. Only time uncovers a person's true demeanor and the best we can strive for is investing as little of it as possible on the wrong women.

There are always clues and red flags that can't be mistaken for innocent misunderstanding. Experience brings those into focus.