Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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This is basically a summary of the book "The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" written by Ellen Fien (who is now divorced) and Sherrie Schneider.
With this summary, I'm saving all you guys $10 and also giving you the "insight" from this book for you to use to your advantage. You can either throw away a Rules Girl, or you can play the game BETTER than her. It's entirely up to you. However, one thing to keep in mind is that this book is written for women who WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW!
First, let's read the fine print in the front of the book:
AUTHOR'S NOTE: "We are not licensed to practice psychology, psychiatry, or social work, and The Rules is not intended to replace psychological counseling, but is simply a dating philosophy based on our own experiences and those of thousands of women who have contacted us."
Therefore women, you can't sue the writers for brainwashing you and ruining your lives.
The dedication is super-funny:
To our wonderful husbands and great kids
I wonder how badly sales dropped when Ellen Fien got divorced?
Anyway, direct quotes from the book are in italics. If you find this summary useful for nothing, then I hope you at least get a good laugh!
Rule #1: Be A Creature Unlike Any Other (that's for sure!)
This chapter is the confidence boost and attepts to open the woman's mind up to be brainwashed...
You don't grovel. You're not desperate or anxious. You don't date men who don't want you. You trust in the abundance and goodness of the universe... (don't you love how women fall for this 5hit?) ...if not him, someone better you say. You don't settle. You don't chase anyone. You don't use sex to make men love you. You believe in love and marriage. You're not cynical. You don't go to pieces when a relationship doesn't work out. Instead, you get a manicure and go out on another date or to a singles dance. You're an optomist. You brush away a tear so that it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on!
Rule #2: Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
This is the chapter where all the AFCs are supposedly weeded out. To correct a common thought, AFC can and do approach women. However, it takes a lot of hard work coming up with the courage to do so. These are the men that the Rules Girl is looking for.
Rule #3: Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
Same as the DJ rule. She's trying to give the picture that she isn't all that interested in him to make him chase her. She is trying to be mysterious.
Rule #4: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
When a man is trying to set up a date to meet you, don't say, "Actually, I'm going to be in your area anyway"; don't offer the names of restaurants between your place and his, unless he asks. Don't say much at all. Let him do all the thinking, the talking, let him flip through the Yellow Pages or magazine listings and call a couple of friends for suggestions to come up with a convenient place for you. Men really feel good when they work hard to see you. Don't take that away from them.
For the Don Juans who got her phone number even though she didn't seem to interested, you get your first red flag here. She makes herself look like a high maintenance bytch.
Rule #5: Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
I think this is my most favorite quote in the entire book:
To call men is to pursue them, which is totally against The Rules. They will immediately know that you like them and possibly lose interest!
The writer has just described perfectly how a woman works. Unfortunately, the thought never enters her mind that a man's mind works DIFFERENTLY than a woman's.
The Don Juan again sees low interest in this woman. If you've been noticing that your woman acts similar to what Rules #4 and #5 stated but she still goes out on a date with you (which is the only sign of interest), there is a good chance that you've found a "Rules Girl." Congratulations, you're dating a textbook!
However, the Don Juan realizes that most women don't return calls anyway.
Rule #6: Always End Phone Calls First
Here's where the Don Juan has to play the game BETTER than the woman, and I'll give you the inside scoop on what this book says...
When a man calls you, don't stay on the phone for more than ten minutes. Buy a timer if you have to. When the bell rings, you have to go! That way you seem busy and you won't give away too much about yourself or your plans (even if you don't have any plans). By ending the conversation first, you leave them wanting more. Good conversation enders are: "I have a million things to do," "Well, it's been really nice talking to you," "Actually, I'm kinda busy right now," and "My beeper's beeping, gotta run!" Remember to say these things in a very nice way.
Now you've got the textbook answers, and you've got the time limit. If you're dating a "Rules Girl", keep your convos down to five minutes. They'll be thrown off and they don't have a message forum (as far as I know) to get an answer to "What if HE ends the conversation first?"
Rule #7: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
This is pretty much a no brainer. You shouldn't be securing a date for the weekend close to the weekend with any woman. However, there's one thing I must quote from this book:
And don't counteroffer by saying, "But I'm free monday."
Rule #8: Fill Up Your Time before the Date
Basically, the rule is to keep yourself busy before the date so you're not thinking about him all day. It's to keep the woman's expectations down.
Rule #9: How to Act on Dates 1,2, and 3
Here's the Dont's for this chapter:
Don't have him come up to your apartment on the first date. Preferably, meet him in the lobby of your apartment building or at a rerstaurant
On these three dates, don't tell him all about your day as if you've known each other for years, thinking that it will bring you closer. Don't be too serious, controlling, or wifey. Don't mention the M word, not even to mention that your brother recently got married.
In general, let him do all the work - pick you up, pick the restaurant, open the door, and pull out your chair.
End the date first (see Rule #11), especially if you like him. Glance at your watch after two hours (for a drink date) or three or four hours (for a dinner date), simply sigh, and say, "Gee, this was really great, but I've got a really big day tomorrow."
At the end of the first date, you can accept a light peck on the cheek or lips even though you're dying to do more.
Don't invite him up to your place at the end of the first date.
On the second date, use your judgement. If you feel comfortable with this man, he can pick you up at your apartment and you can invite him up for a drink at the end of the night.
Rule #10: How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
Basically, the Rules bytch is given more freedom, but any deep secrets such as her shrink or her past relationships are still to remain buried. This is an effort to hide baggage.
Rule #11: Always end the date first
Pretty much self-explanitory, but I'll give this tidbit:
If you have not been living by The Rules, then you probably didn't know that the first date or two should last no more than five hours.
If you're a Don Juan, your dates probably don't last more than five hours anyway (unless you're fvcking her that night).
Rule #12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
Now we come to the big 5hit, spending money on the Rules Bytch. If you've taken on the challenge of dating one of these, you're gonna have to buy something "romantic" if you want to keep fvcking her.
This is not a rule for gold diggers; it's just that when a man wants to marry you, he usually gives you jewelry, not sporty or practical gifts like a toaster oven or coffee maker. It is not how expensive the item is, but the type of gift it is.
Basically, she wants presents from the "heart" or anything that indicates romance. Go to one of those cheap jewelry accessory stores and buy her a $5 pair of earrings. Problem solved.
Rule #13: Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
Pretty self-explanitory, and shouldn't be a problem for a Don Juan.
Rule #14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
Basically, the Rules Bytch can't fvck you on the first date, and probably not on the second and third date either.
Rule #15: Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
When is it okay to have sex? The Rule depends on your age and personal feelings. If you're eighteen and a virgin, you will want to wait until you are in a committed relationship.
Somehow I think most rules girls out there are the ones with the ticking biological clocks (in their 30s).
If you're thirty-nine, waiting a month or two can be fine
This ties into the DJ Bible a bit:
Deep down inside it's not okay with a woman if she sleeps with a man and he doesn't call. Every woman wants the man she just slept with to call her, that is, if she really likes him - and hopefully she likes the man she's sleeping with
The DJ bible says to call the woman the day after they had sex, which is a MUST if you want to keep the Interest Level up.
Don't bring anything - red lightbulbs, scented candles, or X-rated videos - to enhance your sexual experience. If you have to use these things to get him excited, something's wrong (Yeah, you're goddam ugly!)
With this summary, I'm saving all you guys $10 and also giving you the "insight" from this book for you to use to your advantage. You can either throw away a Rules Girl, or you can play the game BETTER than her. It's entirely up to you. However, one thing to keep in mind is that this book is written for women who WANT TO GET MARRIED NOW!
First, let's read the fine print in the front of the book:
AUTHOR'S NOTE: "We are not licensed to practice psychology, psychiatry, or social work, and The Rules is not intended to replace psychological counseling, but is simply a dating philosophy based on our own experiences and those of thousands of women who have contacted us."
Therefore women, you can't sue the writers for brainwashing you and ruining your lives.
The dedication is super-funny:
To our wonderful husbands and great kids
I wonder how badly sales dropped when Ellen Fien got divorced?
Anyway, direct quotes from the book are in italics. If you find this summary useful for nothing, then I hope you at least get a good laugh!
Rule #1: Be A Creature Unlike Any Other (that's for sure!)
This chapter is the confidence boost and attepts to open the woman's mind up to be brainwashed...
You don't grovel. You're not desperate or anxious. You don't date men who don't want you. You trust in the abundance and goodness of the universe... (don't you love how women fall for this 5hit?) ...if not him, someone better you say. You don't settle. You don't chase anyone. You don't use sex to make men love you. You believe in love and marriage. You're not cynical. You don't go to pieces when a relationship doesn't work out. Instead, you get a manicure and go out on another date or to a singles dance. You're an optomist. You brush away a tear so that it doesn't smudge your makeup and you move on!
Rule #2: Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
This is the chapter where all the AFCs are supposedly weeded out. To correct a common thought, AFC can and do approach women. However, it takes a lot of hard work coming up with the courage to do so. These are the men that the Rules Girl is looking for.
Rule #3: Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
Same as the DJ rule. She's trying to give the picture that she isn't all that interested in him to make him chase her. She is trying to be mysterious.
Rule #4: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
When a man is trying to set up a date to meet you, don't say, "Actually, I'm going to be in your area anyway"; don't offer the names of restaurants between your place and his, unless he asks. Don't say much at all. Let him do all the thinking, the talking, let him flip through the Yellow Pages or magazine listings and call a couple of friends for suggestions to come up with a convenient place for you. Men really feel good when they work hard to see you. Don't take that away from them.
For the Don Juans who got her phone number even though she didn't seem to interested, you get your first red flag here. She makes herself look like a high maintenance bytch.
Rule #5: Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
I think this is my most favorite quote in the entire book:
To call men is to pursue them, which is totally against The Rules. They will immediately know that you like them and possibly lose interest!
The writer has just described perfectly how a woman works. Unfortunately, the thought never enters her mind that a man's mind works DIFFERENTLY than a woman's.
The Don Juan again sees low interest in this woman. If you've been noticing that your woman acts similar to what Rules #4 and #5 stated but she still goes out on a date with you (which is the only sign of interest), there is a good chance that you've found a "Rules Girl." Congratulations, you're dating a textbook!
However, the Don Juan realizes that most women don't return calls anyway.
Rule #6: Always End Phone Calls First
Here's where the Don Juan has to play the game BETTER than the woman, and I'll give you the inside scoop on what this book says...
When a man calls you, don't stay on the phone for more than ten minutes. Buy a timer if you have to. When the bell rings, you have to go! That way you seem busy and you won't give away too much about yourself or your plans (even if you don't have any plans). By ending the conversation first, you leave them wanting more. Good conversation enders are: "I have a million things to do," "Well, it's been really nice talking to you," "Actually, I'm kinda busy right now," and "My beeper's beeping, gotta run!" Remember to say these things in a very nice way.
Now you've got the textbook answers, and you've got the time limit. If you're dating a "Rules Girl", keep your convos down to five minutes. They'll be thrown off and they don't have a message forum (as far as I know) to get an answer to "What if HE ends the conversation first?"
Rule #7: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
This is pretty much a no brainer. You shouldn't be securing a date for the weekend close to the weekend with any woman. However, there's one thing I must quote from this book:
And don't counteroffer by saying, "But I'm free monday."
Rule #8: Fill Up Your Time before the Date
Basically, the rule is to keep yourself busy before the date so you're not thinking about him all day. It's to keep the woman's expectations down.
Rule #9: How to Act on Dates 1,2, and 3
Here's the Dont's for this chapter:
Don't have him come up to your apartment on the first date. Preferably, meet him in the lobby of your apartment building or at a rerstaurant
On these three dates, don't tell him all about your day as if you've known each other for years, thinking that it will bring you closer. Don't be too serious, controlling, or wifey. Don't mention the M word, not even to mention that your brother recently got married.
In general, let him do all the work - pick you up, pick the restaurant, open the door, and pull out your chair.
End the date first (see Rule #11), especially if you like him. Glance at your watch after two hours (for a drink date) or three or four hours (for a dinner date), simply sigh, and say, "Gee, this was really great, but I've got a really big day tomorrow."
At the end of the first date, you can accept a light peck on the cheek or lips even though you're dying to do more.
Don't invite him up to your place at the end of the first date.
On the second date, use your judgement. If you feel comfortable with this man, he can pick you up at your apartment and you can invite him up for a drink at the end of the night.
Rule #10: How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
Basically, the Rules bytch is given more freedom, but any deep secrets such as her shrink or her past relationships are still to remain buried. This is an effort to hide baggage.
Rule #11: Always end the date first
Pretty much self-explanitory, but I'll give this tidbit:
If you have not been living by The Rules, then you probably didn't know that the first date or two should last no more than five hours.
If you're a Don Juan, your dates probably don't last more than five hours anyway (unless you're fvcking her that night).
Rule #12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
Now we come to the big 5hit, spending money on the Rules Bytch. If you've taken on the challenge of dating one of these, you're gonna have to buy something "romantic" if you want to keep fvcking her.
This is not a rule for gold diggers; it's just that when a man wants to marry you, he usually gives you jewelry, not sporty or practical gifts like a toaster oven or coffee maker. It is not how expensive the item is, but the type of gift it is.
Basically, she wants presents from the "heart" or anything that indicates romance. Go to one of those cheap jewelry accessory stores and buy her a $5 pair of earrings. Problem solved.
Rule #13: Don't See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
Pretty self-explanitory, and shouldn't be a problem for a Don Juan.
Rule #14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
Basically, the Rules Bytch can't fvck you on the first date, and probably not on the second and third date either.
Rule #15: Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
When is it okay to have sex? The Rule depends on your age and personal feelings. If you're eighteen and a virgin, you will want to wait until you are in a committed relationship.
Somehow I think most rules girls out there are the ones with the ticking biological clocks (in their 30s).
If you're thirty-nine, waiting a month or two can be fine
This ties into the DJ Bible a bit:
Deep down inside it's not okay with a woman if she sleeps with a man and he doesn't call. Every woman wants the man she just slept with to call her, that is, if she really likes him - and hopefully she likes the man she's sleeping with
The DJ bible says to call the woman the day after they had sex, which is a MUST if you want to keep the Interest Level up.
Don't bring anything - red lightbulbs, scented candles, or X-rated videos - to enhance your sexual experience. If you have to use these things to get him excited, something's wrong (Yeah, you're goddam ugly!)
