The bible turn you into a jerk

[dj_spain]

The bible turns you into a jerk

I think the bible should be changed a little bit, in my opinion.
Most articles in the bible are really good, but I think that there is something in it that gives people the wrong mindset.
When I read over the whole bible for the first times I turned into a jerk,like many others. I lost respect for girls and became a cold and boring person with this whole alpha I don't give a **** attitude.
I'm not critizising the bible, I think it is great, but there are some articles that are missing, for example how to develop charm and charisma, which I think are very attractive qualities to have, how to be more outgoing, or how to find that balance between the jerk and the nice guy to turn yourself into a great guy, that is very important, too.
What do you think?

 

[rgeere]

You're right, I went through a similar transformation where I tuned into a constant jerk to everyone for a while.

As ironic as it might seem, I had interested women coming out of the wazoo and every guy seemed to feel threatened by me and sometimes wanted a piece of me.

Then I learned that while being a jerk is displaying dominance, it was not doing anybody any good, not even myself really.

So, I learned to be assetive, and now I am a good to great guy that very few people dislike. And it's not that hard either.

 

[Don_Joffe]

If you have read through the "Articles" and "Quick Tips" section on sosuave you would see articles on charm, charisma and confidence. Their is also a list of what a nice guy, a jerk and a player and don juan are. Yes, you can become a jerk, but only when you need to.

 

[earthshyne]

rgeere has got it spot-on

Well done. It's not about dominance, really, it's about being assertive. Assertiveness doesn't mean being the most aggressive jerk in the room. It means being able to express yourself clearly and capably without resorting to becoming an ass. Doesn't mean you'll always get what you want, but it does mean that you'll become a better person.

 

[Don_Joffe]

Here is a few pointers on how to show some charisma:

Attracting women includes radiating confidence, charm, ambition, challenge, mystery. The list goes on. All of these qualities can be summed up as charisma.

Charisma is simply defined as "a personal attractiveness that makes one like you and be inspired by you." The stronger your charismatic aura, the stronger and more frequent you will attract women, and people in general.

Developing this aura takes practice and discipline, a constant process of self-improvement that involves working on each separate component:

Manner - radiating a type of gracefulness and finesse with a bearing that says you are an important person that demands respect.

Presence - looking good, learning how to confidently deal with the space around (the opposite of appearing goofy).

Empathy - treating people, ALL people you come into contact with, special by learning to listen to them, to their dreams, hopes, fears, and appealing to them, and inspiring hope and desire in them.

Mystery - One of the most important components. If you cannot fulfill the other parts of charisma, mystery will have no effect. Mystery is created when you keep your intentions to yourself, never showing all the cards in your hand, being unpredictable.

When your confident manner, commanding presence, and empathetic attitude make you stand out, people's imaginations begin to rock and they wonder "What is it about him that makes him so different. Why does HE, out of everyone else, look so confident?"

This wondering causes people to want to be around you more, because somehow you "connect" with them and have their respect, and radiate that confident aura.

They cannot explain it, but they grow attracted to you and your presence is heightened because those who never met you will want to, once they hear from others how great you are.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

This idea of becoming a jerk is mostly due to your own interpretation of the bible/article. I've read an article that clearly stated you don't have to be a "jerk", it is just that these "jerks" tend to have the qualities which attract women. Women are attracted to them because they sense these qualities, not simply because they're jerks.

You can take all these qualities that attract the women from the jerk, MINUS the other qualities that makes this person a jerk. That's the key.....and some people don't understand this at first. That's why you'll see people turn into real jerks when reading the advice....they misinterpret/misunderstand the advice and go about becoming a DJ the wrong way.

I think there should be a very specific article on "becoming a DJ, without becoming a jerk" and put as a sticky on the forum. If it would help just one person to avoid learning this lesson the very hard way I would be more than willing to contribute.

 

[rgeere]

Well, I suppose that someone could put the Gunwitch article 'attraction explained' up as sticky. I went through a lengthy debate, which I am still engaging in, on the diffrence between good and bad dominance + the DJ lifestyle vs. a player's lifestyle. That's probably more along the lines of what you guys want as an explanation.

 

[MacDiddy]

The bible turn you into a jerk

So what!!!

Its a dog eat dog world out there!!

 

[xhikari]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
So what!!!

Its a dog eat dog world out there!!

he's got a point there guys....

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by xhikari
he's got a point there guys....

It depends who you hang out with:

You hang out with wolves, you eat like one ...

You hang out with dogs, you guard like one ...

You hang out with sheep, you die like one ...

Who do you hang out with?

edit: 1500th post!

 

[theSpeculator]

Originally posted by dj_spain
theSpeculator are you really trying to do an extension of the bible?
I always thought the bible should be reduced and should be made simplier, because there is too much information in it that sometimes is contradicting

Yes I'm serious. However I don't have the time or resources to do it alone. I envision it as a team/community effort. As a team, I believe we can accomplish much greater things than as individuals. That is why I am currently busy recruiting people that I think truly understand the game.

I agree the current DJ bible has some fat that needs to cutten. But the moderators will not do it, so we cannot change it. Therefore the only alternative is to create a new one. The current DJ Bible will still be useful as an introduction to seduction. The new DJ Bible will be the main curriculum to help the rAFC that are determine to change.

In a few weeks I will be conducting an online "interveiw" to write for the new DJ Bible. If you believe you can be helpful, please consider doing the interview.

I am looking for people that understand advance theories of seduction, have new innovative ideas, good writing skills, can relate to most people, etc.

 

[MacDiddy]

I hang out with humans... could there be anything worse!!!!

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
I hang out with humans... could there be anything worse!!!!

You're missing the point, humans can be any one of the three at any given time. It just depends what role you are playing.

 

[Mojo604]

You have to be a moron to take the advice of the Bible and come off as a jerk.
It means you are implementing the words of he bible in the wrong way. Take another look at what your doing...

 

[MetalFortress]

Comparing the jerks to anyone who reads and puts the DJB in use correctly is like comparing Jehovah's Witnesses to anyone who reads and puts the Holy Bible to use correctly. Just not a good way to judge it.

 

[rgeere]

See, the thing is that it is hard for someone who is habitually passive to learn how to be assertive without turning totally agressive for a long period of time, basically long enough to find a respectful balance. It took me a few months acting like a total jerk to figure out how to be agressive and still respect people. I do a pretty good job at it now.

 

[penguin]

Originally posted by rgeere
See, the thing is that it is hard for someone who is habitually passive to learn how to be assertive without turning totally agressive for a long period of time, basically long enough to find a respectful balance. It took me a few months acting like a total jerk to figure out how to be agressive and still respect people. I do a pretty good job at it now.

I agree with that. I think it's more of an adjustment period.... it passes, but it is very easy to go too far when going from passive to assertive.

If you've always been passive then there's no range to work with.... you have to make mistakes and realise you've been a jerk with things, so you get a better feel of what assertive is and where that healthy middle-ground is.

Then it's easier to settle down and be confident and not a jerk because the limits are known.

Dunno if that even makes sense lol

 

[squirrels]

The Bible IS pretty sh!tty on its own. That's probably why all of these little sh!ts are running around talking about "C&F" and "neghits" and whining about how they don't work.

It's not really a "Bible" at all...it has maybe HALF of what's really important, repeated over and over and OVER again by different people with different words.

 

[theSpeculator]

It makes perfect sense. You need to know the boundaries to passive and aggressive to be able to find the balance. How can you expect to know what is acceptable behavior without knowing what the extreme is like? I believe as True Don Juan, we have a huge advantage because we have been to both end of the extremes because it allow as to be more compassionate to either people, because we can understand and relate to them, and as a result makes as more charismatic.

Don Juanism is a learning process. Learning the limits to your jerk behavior is part of it. I think everyone will make a most mistakes as he tries to improve himself. That is normal, as human we learn from doing mistakes. Yes, mistakes are a good thing as long as you learn from them.

Remember this famous quote, "Brick by Brick, Layer by Layer." Don Juanism is a journey made of small steps. It is the little details that will determine who becomes a True Don Juan or an Average Don Juan.

 

[dj_spain]

I think that the term "nice" guy is repeated too many times in the bible. So when you read so many times "don't be a nice guy", it is normal that you become a jerk.
The type of guy the bible means should better be called "needy and submissive" guy.
I have to say that the most successful guys with women I have known in my live where actually the most friendly and nice ones.
Those people can take the girls you want away from you,and you could still never hate those people because of their charisma and their friendliness to you.