The Basics of the Don Juan.

[So pimp its scary]

Today, more then ever women are disappointed with their men (75% according to a study published in Cosmo recently), and the irony is that it is men’s desire to please women, coupled with women’s inability to vocalize the things they truly desire in a man (or maybe just their assumption that men should know how to treat / handle a women), that has made men into these whiny little mamma’s boys that spew emotion all over the women they are trying to court (these are the people, these extreme examples of the feminized male, that we call the AFC… I mean the true AFC’s). So, it is my effort to help some of the people in at least improving the situation that they face in the search for Mrs. Right… or Ms. RightNow if that is what you desire J.

It is worth repeating this point, that there is not one technique that will make you a lady killer, that there are no rules that will land a hot babe every time, that rejection is inevitable (rejection should be embraced rather then avoided at all costs, as more can be learnt in a rejection then in ten successful approaches, but that is another article), that the attitude is the only difference that makes a difference; but, rather it is the rules and the techniques learnt that will sow the seeds that will grow into the life attitude that will make you happier with your life, and by consequence attract flocks of women into your hands. This is the essence of a Don Juan, it is the DJ’s attitude that gives him: confidence, charm, charisma, challenge, love of life, mystery, and the countless other factors that make women melt by his mere presence.

“It is in the effort that one finds satisfaction and not in the success. A full effort is a full success.”
- Gandhi

As far as success, with women as with anything, it boils down to action. Some of you, and only you know who you are, simply don’t have enough desire for women, whether you admit it or not… Wanting a woman in your life is not enough; you only have as much success, in any area of life, as you MUST have. For example, in your job you earn whatever it is that you MUST earn. Anyway, if you must be successful with women, then you will take the action required to be successful in that area. Once you have enough success, you become satisfied; it’s the satisfaction that makes you lazy. So, I ask you all, if you MUST be successful with women, continue reading… if your not sure, it comes down to this: Are you going to be one of the 75% of men that piss women off, or are you going to be in the 10% that turn women on? (Assuming that women find the other 15% of men satisfactory) DECIDE NOW!

“Glance at what you might have to lose, but focus on what you want to win.”

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The challenge for most is overcoming your fears. The best way to overcome your fears, and expand your comfort zone, is to tell yourself something empowering in a moment of fear. Some of my favorites are: “Feel the fear… and do it anyways” (There is a great book by that title), “What’s the worst that can happen??? NOTHING!” “Regret is worse then rejection.”. The reality is that you never going to have a perfect approach… at least the first try, so just go for it, do it wrong, but do it anyways and you will thank yourself later when your getting your wiener wet. It has been suggested to go out one night, and aim for 10 rejections as a means to overcome your fears… the funny part of that is that by the time you have done that, you’re likely to have approached 15-20 women, and will have a tremendous boost to your confidence.

Confidence, by the way, is really just a strong self-love, how do you begin to love yourself like this? Treat yourself like the “Prince Charming” meaning that you treat yourself first, you look people in the eyes, you command respect from your world, you workout to keep fit, you clean and groom yourself daily, you keep your apartment on the up and up, etc. If you say, “I don’t have time.” Make time. It will be well worth it. I couldn’t imagine the embarrassment you would feel for getting rejected based on your messy apartment. There deserves a mention of the Hagakure, or the book of the samurai; in which the author says that every day a true samurai will wake up at the crack of dawn to bath, wash his hair, groom himself, cut his nails, polish his armor, and sharpen his sword before going out on his day, and would go to sleep at sunset, to prepare for the following day. The reason the samurai does this, is that the samurai will never know when he might be struck down, and if he is struck down, everything is exposed for the world to see; his enemy will mention how dirty you were, but if the samurai was clean, his enemy would be forced to have respect for his opponent, as he would have nothing negative to say.

Speaking of the “Hagakure”, it becomes worthwhile to mention; reading is a crucial part of becoming the Don Juan, even though there are some benefits from reading your favorite science fiction books… they will help you very little in the getting laid department. Rather, start reading books that expand your mind, some examples are books on the topics of psychology, self-help, philosophy, and strategy (Sun tzu’s “Art of War”). Some are crap, and others are worth their weight in gold… PM me, if you would like the names of some quality books that have helped me on my journey’s, or do a search. This will help you become an interesting person to talk to, in that you will be able to talk about more then sports and beer. Just don’t let your reading cut too much into the time that you go on the field, or be an excuse not to approach women.

The Don Juan is a well-known conversationalist, he uses his words to woo, and seduce his targets. The Don Juan is a master charmer, charming while at the same time being completely honest. Just the same, it would be wise to master, or at the least improve your ability in this art, this is best done by becoming genuinely interested in other people. The person that is genuinely interested, will mostly ask questions, and will allow the other person to do most of the talking, while at the same time keeping up his parts of the conversation. Interruption is the biggest destroyer of the flow of the conversation, even if it’s only once and unintentionally, it can be difficult to return to the same level of rapport. Pimpologist has broken this art to nearly the point of a science, and highly recommend his article, it is a must read.

Part II Follows...

 

[So pimp its scary]

Part II

The best technique in the Don Juan arsenal, is his eye contact, his eyes do not dart in random directions to avoid looking into his targets eyes. He has a deep penetrating gaze, yet does not stare… this mastery of this can be tricky to some; they have grown used to submitting in every contact with the eyes. This is a sign of fear, an imaginary fear that somehow their gaze will offend the other person. Overcome this, whatever the cost.

This is a point at which the rising DJ usually hits a barrier. He is confident in his abilities, he overcomes most fears, he is able to talk to women, but has difficulty progressing past this point. It is usually that the DJ has difficulty to ask the woman for her phone number. This is a necessary step, there has been discussion of a Don Juan giving a woman his number for the woman to call back; giving his number is reducing the risk that the Don Juan must take, and increases the woman’s risk, making it clear to the woman that you don’t have the testicular fortitude to simply ask for her number. Remember, you have just met this woman and are pursuing her, yet you are forcing her into the position of pursuing you… not an appealing target for a woman, there is no challenge. A Don Juan is not afraid of asking a woman for her number, so that the process can be continued at a more convenient time.

The DJ has put much energy to reach this point, and is only beginning to see some of the budding fruits of his toils… he now has the woman’s phone number. Often, in this stage, the DJ performs a slight regression. In his excitement (re: desperation) of finally finding a woman who will share her number with him, he reaches for the phone mere hours after meeting this woman, the woman can smell this excitement (re: desperation) of the man that is calling her… and puts two and two together, and finding the meaning that this man has little experience with women (If she’s thinking this, she doesn’t care why that is because she figures that is the case). Therefore, it is recommended for the budding Don Juan to have a 3 day cooling off period, in which to try and find other women, or to just reduce the excitement (whichever works best…); and to follow this rule, until he feels that he has reached a woman that has definite, and unquestionable interest. This rule, is a difficult one and has many exceptions, some shorter and some longer waiting periods of waiting may be necessary. Calling after the bar night saying, “I just wanted to see that you got home safe.” works wonders, provided it’s a cell phone!

Mystery is a trait that can be developed over time, some possible ways are to be slightly ambiguous while talking about yourself (this takes tact to not appear as though you are hiding stuff that the woman wouldn’t want to hear), always being a little too busy to talk, ending the dates early on a positive note. Seduction is a process that is quite difficult for those untrained in the arts; seduction works on the principle of: “we run from that which chases us, and chase what runs away from us.” This is why it is important to maintain a slight aloofness, an air of indifference of your progress, most women are used to having men falling head over heels in her presence, this indifference triggers the woman to make the attempt to get this man to fall for her, at this point the tables are turned and the Don Juan is no longer the pursuer, but pursued.

In man’s inevitable desire to please a woman, men have followed the instructions from women, most of these women knowing what they should want told their men to act in this way… Unbeknownst to them, they have created the feminized society, and wonder, “Where have all the real men have gone?” Applaud should be made for all those who are attempting to make so much more of their lives, and luckily for the Recovering Average Frustrated Chumps, your world is ready for the taking. The universe is willing to give you anything that you want if you desire it strong enough, and nothing more. In learning about the attitude, and applying it to the personality, any man no matter his looks or status can become attractive, once he has sown this attitude into his every day life.

End post

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Good post - how about putting this in the Tips section...

Osc.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
Wanting a woman in your life is not enough; you only have as much success, in any area of life, as you MUST have. For example, in your job you earn whatever it is that you MUST earn. Anyway, if you must be successful with women, then you will take the action required to be successful in that area.

It is this very principle that has metamorphisized itself into a giant brick wall that I can't seem to overcome, or wish to overcome. With all my analyzing and hypothesizing, I have continually failed to formulate a convincing argument as to why I *must* obtain female companionship in my life. It is easy to understand how one *must* earn a paycheck to support some sort of a lifestyle, but how does success with women equate to that same criterion?

For those men (such as myself) who were not blessed with the instinctive ability or magnetism to attract women naturally, seduction is an art that requires an overwhelming investment of time and effort. Some men will never quite grasp the concept no matter how many years they dedicate from their lives. It is just a simple fact, we are not all cut from the same cloth. In the short time I have studied attraction, I have come to the conclusion that too many factors are determined by circumstances beyond our immediate control. Some of these may be looks, personality, socio-economic status, etc. These factors form the very foundation of attraction. Granted, these foundations can be rocked to the very core on rare occassions (usually by those naturally gifted individuals); but for those without a predisposed skill-set, it all-too-often becomes an exercise in futility.

The question then becomes: are YOU willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve success with women? A success which, at the very most, will provide you with simple companionship (bearing in mind that a similar companionship can be easily achieved through a myriad of less tedious options); and at the very least will help satiate your intrinsic sexual urges. Clearly, there is a large population of men (well represented on this board) whose raging hormones create a state-of-mind totally unwilling to submit to logical thought. They will continue to fight and struggle throughout their entire existence merely for sexual contact, regardless of personal cost. I believe that a more rational approach to the subject would free us from our emotional shackles and possibly establish a more productive way of life.

 

[So pimp its scary]

The way that you could go about turning the "I should find myself a girlfriend." to "I MUST become successful with women.", at least for me, came through myself hitting one of those pain thresholds that I mentioned...

I got burnt by quite possibly the ugliest girl that I have ever even considered dating, that was quite possibly the largest blow to my self-esteem, I mean, "I couldn't be so ugly that this woman would shoot me down so it must be in the area of technique and not looks that the problem lies... and there is a big problem, I must solve this problem, and have more success with women... I simply won't stand for getting burnt by a woman like this again."

For some people, it's the MUST earn a paycheck, but for others it is I MUST earn a paycheck of 3000$ every 2 weeks. The fact is, untill you realize just how bad your situation is, the wakeup call if you will, it won't be possible to make that change.

As far as skill goes, when you learning how to ride a bike did you just hop on and start peddling? no, you had help, you had someone there to hold your hand in case you bailed. Were you scared / nervous your first time on a bike? Most likely yes, the speed of riding a bike is a whole new sensation, good thing you knew that your parents were real close to help you out.
I am very cautious is suggesting that someone use this site as that sort of crutch, sometimes it becomes a crutch for much longer then you would need a crutch.

The reson most people fail in the area of seduction is that they are all too concerned with their own lives to be good seducers, a good seducer is, at least on the surface, more interested in the target of the seduction. Once you are able to drop this self-importance, you will find the seduction game a lot easier to grasp.

You asked, are YOU willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve success with women? Yes, I absolutely refuse to accept anything less then MY IDEAL relationship with a woman, I have her traits written down (both positive and negative as well as which traits are MUSTS and which traits are SHOULDS). Granted some may call me picky, I know what I want, and I will do very little compromising.

The fact is, that if you choose the wrong life partner, you have basically doomed your existence... the woman will bring you down and destroy your very essence, not in a day or two, but over the years... If you choose the right life partner, then there are no limits to your destiny, if the two are truly soul mates, they will help bring their partner to the highest level of existence together...

I'm gonna quit now before I make this too much more cheezy.

 

[Click Here]

I liked it. Your pushing te envelope by telling ppl they actually have to TRY for a TARGET instead of falsley teaching these kids that women will come to them if they dont want them to.

One of my best friends is a master at getting girls into the sack and he isn't a "challenge" he isn't making her think that hes to good for her.

Sometimes the sheer fact that you are so determined to get some from them is enough to make them think you have the balls to do the same thing to other girls and theyll be attracted to u reguardless. Go figure. As for me i MUST get better at seducing the women i want.