The basics edition 2: Eye contact

[cola]

Hello, hope everyone reading this is having a great day and living a life with an abundance mentality. Today we are going to speak on eye contact.
The windows to the soul.

One of if not the single most powerful tools in your aresenal is eye contact. So much can be determined by the eyes. You can tell if someone is shy, confident, telling you a lie and at a certain skill level even tell if someone is attracted to you. You can deter an AMOG or guy who wants to fight, you can show him thru your eyes alone, you wont back down. Hes going to have to prove those tough words with his fists.


Pupils
First I want to talk about the pupils and how they can tell your secrets.
The pupils are a part of the body that you have no control over. They dialate when we see something or someone we are interested in and they contract when looking at something we do not like.
If you are ever curious if a woman is interested in you this is the ultimate indicator of interest . When she looks at you and her pupils dialate she digs you. There is no way for her to hide this. It is essential to learn when her eyes are dialated or not. This simple skill can answer so many questions like:

-Should I escalate?
-Should I pursue her.
-Is she stringing me along?

So start paying attention to her eyes and if they dialate.


Deception
Next I want to talk about deception.
Studies show that when someone avoids eye contact with you, they are ashamed. The shame could be that she is lying to you. Its crucial to learn when a woman is lying to you. It will save you a lot of wondering and making so suave posts. This is especially applicable when you know she generally has a good eye contact level and when a paticular subject comes up she averts her gaze.


Amogs
AMOG, when a man approaches you at the bar causing trouble dont say a word. Most people back up and look down when confronted. Since everyone here wants to be alpha so bad, the most alpha thing you can do is remain silent, take a step forward and give him the death gaze.
Literally look him in his eyes while thinking of everything you hate. do not look away till he does. This is going to trigger fight or flight in his nervous system. He is either going to back down or swing. Either way be prepared. 9 times out of 10 he will back down.

How much eye contact is too much?
A strong gaze conveys so much about you to a woman. For one, it says im not intimidated by you and confident I can handle you. Confidence.
However, A lot of guys get called creepy when they try to implement eye contact. I feel alot of times its because thet try to hold a constant gaze. What this says is that you are overstudying her and this makes people uncomfortable. People want to have some confidentiality with their thoughts and mannerisms.
So here is a rule of thumb for eye contact:

When speaking maintain eye contact 80% of the time. When listening 60% of the time this is more than the average person, but not enough to make the person uncomfortable.

Cola super tip: If you ask someone a question and the answer isnt sufficient to the question, hold eye contact and remain silent. You will find the person will speak more on the topic. Interrogators use this technique when questioning suspects.

You'll find that your new eye contact skills will also aide sexually. The eye contact que's her primal sexual urges. In other words strong eye contact makes them horny.

Cliff notes:


- Eye contact may be the most powerful skill in your repitoire.
-Use her pupils to guage Interest level
-Usually an effort to avoid contact means a liar.
-When challenged by a man never look away first. Give him the death guaze to trigger fight or flight.

-Don't have unwavering eye contact to avoid being labeled a creep. 80% talking 60% listening.
-Use eye contact to draw out more information
-Good eye contact makes them wet.

Thanks for reading. As always, If I helped just one reader, it was worth the effort to type this.

Input and feedback always welcomed

Edition 3 coming soon.

 

[SeymourCake]

-When challenged by a man never look away first. Give him the death guaze to trigger fight or flight.

This is completely barbaric, primitive, foolish and completely unnecessary.

 

[amazingswayze]

Keep it up cola. Back to the basics!

 

[cola]

Hey Seymour, hope you're having a good day bro.
Before I respond can you do me a solid?

If you care enough to, can you explain why you feel this way?
Also could you provide an alternate way to deal with a guy giving you a hard time at a bar or party?
Not sure where you are, but I live in Baltimore. Everyone here wants to be a tough guy, so I encounter these types often. You know sometimes you are out, the girl he liked digs you and not him.. instead of taking it as "Hmm, not my night I guess" some guys ego's are damaged.

 

[cola]

this doesnt require an explanation really but for the sake of the clueless out there:

i understand men have egos and never want to be the one to punk out and back down first, and in my younger days i wouldve agreed, but with maturity, you realize that it DOESNT MATTER. nothing that has any real negative effect on you matters in the short term but especially in the long.
I understand and respect your opinion. However, maybe its how I was raised but I take no sh*t off anyone that's woman, man or child. If you step in my personal space, which is an arms length, talking about harming me or any member of my circle, that is a threat.. I will assault and attempt to mame you if you don't back off after a warning
we're not in fvcking prison where its survive or die. even then my friends who have been to rikers tell me that if you mind yours nobody will really mess with you. its always the clueless guys that think they have to smash someones teeth out to show everyone they arent weak upon arrival.
This isn't about hopping into a situation that was none of your business. This is about you being at a bar, being social and respectful to everyone and a guy goes out of his way to try to threaten you, or make you out to be some type of punk. Thats unacceptable. Talking ish, a few wise cracks back and forth is one thing, but once you start threatening bodily harm its a big problem.

same deal with men and eye contact and other dumb shlt like people breaking your stride when youre walking in public.
I don't disagree with this nor did I endorse it.
first of all you should never be making eye contact with another man you dont know (let alone mean muggin them). its an obvious challenge and besides that its just fvcking weird.
I don't disagree with this, nor did I endorse it.

second, there are animals out there. i have seen plenty of guys get challenged overtly because someone looked at them just a little too long or the wrong way. there are guys that will not give a fvck and things will ugly quick.

I know. You are correct. There are animals out here. Exactly why when you start threatening bodily harm you need to be dealt with

i come from nyc so i know what im talking about. even when im walking around ill move off to the side if the person in front of me insists on not breaking their stride. i could care less about having to be the one to back down. i can break most mens jaws if i had to and most of all when it matters .in all honesty, i have a pretty short fuse. it just takes a lot for things to have to escalate physically with me. but thats what it comes down to. if you act like a dlck youre gon get hit
Im glad you've learned to control your temper. That has been a challenge for me as well. Meditation, working out, prayer and thinking before acting has turned me into a new man. A better man. But one thing that hasn't changed.. if you threaten me with bodily harm verbally or by entering my space you will be dealt with. I've seen too much to take threats as "just talk"

Hey Midnight, hows your day? I quoted you and replied in bold. Appreciate the feed back.

 

[cola]

im not against self defense. i am against what you wrote about stepping forward and accepting a troublemakers challenge. and the general rule of giving men the "death gaze" this is a good way to get guys hurt who read this if they follow through.
What would you advise Midnight? Run?
you shouldnt want to fight unless you WANT to fight and the reality is, even though most men DO fold when you press them, most guys out there dont know how to fight.
Well they should learn. If you arent willing to step up for your loved ones or yourself when someone is threatning harm, you are a coward. We arent teaching men to be cowards here.

ive seen many people get hurt badly because people dont know how to fight. someone says something about your mama
Once again, we arent talking about "Your momma jokes" we are talking about someone invading your space threatning harm.
and the guy gets his head slammed on the concrete or gashed in the face with a broken bottle. this is utterly pointless for everyone involved unless youre one of those animals who doesnt care about taking someones life or critcally injuring someone and this is the type of guy you should avoid but will never who he is until its too late
You cant avoid them. They are in the club and at the bar with the chicks you are trying to bang.
Every time you get into a fight, you are at risk for serious bodily injury. Doesn't mean you shouldnt fight .

its not that my temper is under control. i have no problem pressing someone thats bothering me. in fact i just did it over weekend at a bbq. some drunk frat, spring break type douche bag was annoying me with his antics and i let him know. but knowing how to fight and what happens in a fight and what it demands of you will put things into perspective. sparring with heavyweights will do that but like i said, most people dont know how to fight and lose control and do something retarded (like this: "I will assault and attempt to mame you") which is why its best to avoid it as much as possible.

Hey, sue me. If we are fighting and you are a stranger I dont know how close you are to a gun or knife. Im going to immobilize you. Make it so you can't get up until police come or I feel like I can make a clean getaway. It is what it is.

when you have been in enough fights, youre mind is generally at ease most of the time and you are much better at assessing a true threat from a guy whos got no bite. the best thing you can do is never be the first agressor. diplomacy should always come first.

You stepping into my space is an aggressive move. I did say I would issue a warning in the last reply.

"look man, im just here to party i aint lookin for problems, please leave me alone"
Right, thats the warning I mentioned above.
if it goes beyond this and someone you cant reason with steps into your space you swing first.
Yup. Got that right. And not one punch either. You punch and dont stop punching until he asks for mercy or is unable to continue fighting.
you never let someone step into your space who wont listen to anything else.
Yup. In my original post I said you dont look down or run. You take a step forward and dont break eye contact until he backs off or a fight ensues.
We are saying the same stuff Midnight. I dont understand your issue.

this is where sucker punches happen. if it gets to that point and they wont leave me alone nor are they willing to step outside with me and they want to get up in my face they are gonna eat a left hook and right hand and going down.

???

never be the agressor first if you can avoid it. if you have to strike first you hit them hard. if they dont go down you keep hitting them until they do. if you are missing you put your hands up, stay calm, tuck your chin, duck and avoid his punches and take every shot you can. if the odds are against you you run. you never stay to get jumped by a group of people because no one will save you. if you dont have power to hurt someone with a punch, you better hit that bench and start doing some push ups.

I dont get it. You aren't arguing my point you are adding to it. No, I didnt touch on self defense techniques in my posts but you cant teach someone to fight on the internet so it was no point
im a big believer that if more people knew self defense, there would be less videos on worldstar titled "dude gets field goal kick to the face after brutal KO". ask any person that trains in a combat sport and they will tell you that they want nothing to do with a street fight. if you dont believe me, sign up to a boxing or MMA gym and put in the work for a good 3 months. it is no joke.

then again, all of this can be avoided by not going around grillin other dudes. but its best if you do both of the above.

I never said to do that. I said if someone comes at you with some bs you dont backdown or break eye contact first (show weakness), until he backs off or you are in the act of fighting. Im not going to tell anyone on this forum to run from a one on one fight where the guy is being the aggressor. That makes you a p#ssy. The law of the land is irrelevant in this regard. Youd get more respect for fighting and losing than letting a guy chump you.

I really don't understand your issue. We are saying the same stuff, but I still took the time to reply out of respect..

Perhaps I should make clear, you dont go death gazing until he violates your space or threatens physical harm..
Didnt think I needed to say that, but hopefully it clears up some confusion.

 

[cola]

Eye contact is a total sign on confidence.

For the death gaze this is funny, i used to compete in karate and TKD and yeah sometimes you can break a man just by looking at

As men we need to be respected, the same way we respect others.

Thanks for feedback Yannick. Hope your doing well with the fasting and working out. Yes, that's all I was trying to show. Sometimes showing through subcommunication (eye contact)
You are willing to fight its enough to avoid a fight.

And even though I hate the terms "Alpha and Beta" if you won't fight a guy one on one if you must.. You aint Alpha.

Probably why a lot of true natural "Alphas" are in jail.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Seymour most live in a gated community

This is completely barbaric, primitive, foolish and completely unnecessary.

This is the truth. Went out to a bar one night, and some dude was outside he was muscular about 5'9. Me and my boy showing our IDs to get in this bar (it was crowded) My boy showed his ID first walked in to the crowded loud bar. I'm showing my ID and this hispanic dude was like "look at this fag in the cubs jacket" In my mind I wanted to cut him in to pieces and send it to his family lol. We got in each others face and I told him he's a faggot and if he wants some i'll be inside the bar and would beat his ass in front of everyone.
He stepped back and said i'll be in there. So I went inside, didn't even tell my friend what happened.

Went by the bar and turned around waiting for this dude to come in so I could crack his skull. 10 minutes later he comes in I make the "death stare" eye contact and nod my head as if let's go. I didn't let the gaze go it was a lazer straight in to his soul....he nodded his head put his head down and walked away like a coward

 

[G_Govan]

Seymour most live in a gated community



This is the truth. Went out to a bar one night, and some dude was outside he was muscular about 5'9. Me and my boy showing our IDs to get in this bar (it was crowded) My boy showed his ID first walked in to the crowded loud bar. I'm showing my ID and this hispanic dude was like "look at this fag in the cubs jacket" In my mind I wanted to cut him in to pieces and send it to his family lol. We got in each others face and I told him he's a faggot and if he wants some i'll be inside the bar and would beat his ass in front of everyone.
He stepped back and said i'll be in there. So I went inside, didn't even tell my friend what happened.

Went by the bar and turned around waiting for this dude to come in so I could crack his skull. 10 minutes later he comes in I make the "death stare" eye contact and nod my head as if let's go. I didn't let the gaze go it was a lazer straight in to his soul....he nodded his head put his head down and walked away like a coward

Logistics matter as well.

If you heard this same comment from a guy who was behind you walking down a dimly lit alley, you may not have reacted the same way.

There are people out here who feel and behave as though they have nothing to lose. Fighting (or even shooting) to the death is on the table for just about any reason for them.

Although confronting a guy in a bar can be dangerous, you still have a bunch of people around to break it up, including bouncers.

I've had to calm down when driving because I've gotten myself into situations that could've turned out really bad if I came across the right person. Just try to keep a level head about any confrontation. They aren't all worth getting into. You only get one shot at life, don't be so quick to throw it away over petty sh-t to save face in front of people who could care less what happens to you.

Granted, I do realize some things are unavoidable. I'd give my life to defend my child.

 

[Skyline]

Pupil's dilating is very unreliable in my opinion and here is why. If you own a cat or dog, you will notice that their pupil's get smaller in the light and bigger in the dark. It's very similar to how humans eyes dilate depending on the lighting.

So if a girls eyes dilate in a darker area compared to somewhere else, it might not be you.

 

[cola]

Pupil's dilating is very unreliable in my opinion and here is why. If you own a cat or dog, you will notice that their pupil's get massive in the light and small in the dark. It's very similar to how humans eyes dilate depending on the lighting.

So if a girls eyes dilate in a darker area compared to G somewhere else, it might not be you.

Hey Skyline, what's happening bro. So what if you go out with her on several dates and every time she sees you initially, her pupils dialate. Good sign right?

That's how I would apply the pupil thing. Good catch about lighting.

Nice points G_Govan. Thanks for feedback. I really appreciate you guys reading and giving thoughtful feedback and love bouncing ideas off you guys. This is why I make the basics threads.
Pros sharing experience and someone reading will benefit off all our insights.

 

[dutchmaster]

Good post here bro.

 

[zekko]

you will notice that their pupil's get massive in the light and small in the dark.

I think you have that backwards but point taken.

Regarding eye contact with men, I haven't decided on the right answer yet.
When I first started studying seduction, I read all this "the alpha male always maintains eye contact with everyone he sees and never looks away first".

But like Midnight said, it gets kind of weird making eye contact with males after awhile, and I decided I don't like looking at men that much, so lately I've just been not looking at them at all.

 

[Trump]

Cola bro props on the energy you bring here, don't know where find it but I've never had it.

Anyway 2 things I like to address with your basics edition:

1) Eye contact / Posture / Smiling / etc - in theory its good, but when it gets detailed about when to look away and how to hold it and approach her and like her and tease her and all that stuff, it seems contrived. By the time you approach her and talk to her to and kino her and maintain eye contact with her, the 6'6 athlete or rich actor is going to come and take her away in 8 seconds.

There are alot of tips and advice on this site, but if you do something that the girls come to you (be rich, be a movie star, be an athlete, etc) it outweighs all the advice.

2 - When tips are given to people to impress women, I think people aren't focused. People come in here with all sorts questions and they think the girls answer has some value. If these same people had a massive business to run with 500 employees and had to answer to shareholders, or had some deadline to build something huge, they would automatically know how to act with and around women. But since they aren't focused, they put value into it in the girls response.

I also think they don't have enough pressure in their lives. If you had drill instructor that said "I don't care how you act, what you do, or what you say, if you don't get a date in 2 weeks, you are running 80 laps and I'm going to get firing squad to shoot at you.", everyone on here would be James Bond smooth. They wouldn't need tips or pickups or anything, they would automatically know what to do as the pressure to succeed would be enough. But there is no one there to give them that sort of pressure.

Anyway keep the tips coming.

 

[cola]

Valid points Trump as always. Here is my opinions on that. Have you ever played sports? Basketball is one of my favorites. Eventually i'd like to coach. So heres an analogy:

When you first start to play basketball, a good coach teaches you proper form.
"Snap your wrists, follow thru, release at the top of your jump, etc etc"

At first this doesnt feel very natural. You have to think about the motion every shot you take.
But eventually after practice, and forcing yourself to shoot with proper form, it just becomes natural.
You dont have to think about it anymore. Every shot you take has the proper form.
Same thing with my advice. I hope that makes sense.
Repitition, Repititon, Repitition and eventually this stuff will come natural.

A real life example, when I was younger I didn't walk with my head high. After so long of forcing myself to keep my head high, now I just do it. Its not even a thought.

Also the advice I give in the basic editions can also apply in a business setting. Posture, eye contact etc etc.

Thanks for input trump, and you bring alot of value to this forum too. Very clever viewpoints. Thanks bro.

 

[Lozboss]

Good Post Cola.

I actually support you on the eye contact- or saying very little. It makes people sh*t their pants.

I'm in the Uk for reference.

Can you put the links to your editions in your signature?- may help others users also

 

[Bingo-Player]

nice stuff

 

[Alexandar]

Very solid. But whats with the unnecessery extended niceties and greetings and stuff? soundz like a british royalty teatime hour. its super weird and makes me uncomfortable. maybe im just less mature.

 

[cola]

Ok Midnight. I didn't create the thread to debate.
Threatening bodily harm to me is a no-no. Call me a *****, call my mom names, whatever. Once you say your going to kill me, I have no choice but to believe you if you are in my personal space. and act accordingly. Sorry about your friends jaw. Hope you taught him how to fight, since you are so skilled at it.

 

[thunder_god]

Saw some chick looking at me on the street today. I noticed she was looking at me for 1-2 sec with my peripheral vision so I looked at her and then she glanced back at me. I didn't look away but I should have smiled at her as I walked past her. This is the third time I've noticed this happen in the past 2-3 weeks. I've only managed to smile once back at the girl out of these 3 occurrences and that was because she smiled at me first and was an employee at my gym, I hesitated but then ended up approaching her after I got changed and struck up a quick conversation with her. I need to push myself to smile at these girls now.