the avg man is quite pathetic

backbreaker

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Okay this is a rant.

alot of my stories revolve around AA/NA meetings becuase I spend alot of time there. Well, so does this one.

Apparantly, there is alot of anamosity towards me beucase alot of women in the program hang around me /like me. The feeling is not mutual with any of them, but of course that does not matter.

It would be one thing if I were activly chasing women. when women go out of their way to talk to you what in the hell are you supposed to do? Be an ******* for the sake of it?

One made a snide remark about how everyoe shoud ask me for dating advice, in the middle of a meetng no less. that was akward. Then there is awoman from out of town who was visiting, and she comes and sits by me and I heard someone say "oh **** he has another one".

I'm not doing anything with these women, but hell even if I were, WTF? Are you that damn bitter that all you can do is get pissy and talk about people?

that's not vey nice.
 

DJDamage

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backbreaker said:
I'm not doing anything with these women, but hell even if I were, WTF? Are you that damn bitter that all you can do is get pissy and talk about people?

that's not vey nice.
Within a group, there will always be bitter haters when women flock to you.

Most of the time you should just shrug it off, but if it does bother you then you can always disarm the haters by taking extra effort to try and befriend them so they won't hate on you.

Most males who are not successful with women, have experienced in the past the so called AMOG whom they blamed for ruining their chances with women, instead of improving their game and stepping up to the challenge.
 

Julian

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If I were you my ego would be inflating dramatically.
 

Tazman

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DJDamage said:
Within a group, there will always be bitter haters when women flock to you.
I've had a couple of my closest friends act up when we're around attractive women. Typically because the women they liked, turned out liking me, without any effort on my part. They wouldn't do it the way the guy did in your AA meeting, but they would start trying to poke fun at me more than they would normally do if it were just us guys hanging out.

I remember one incident where we were helping this one chick move. As we were all grabbing boxes and stuff one of my friends tells the chick that I was in her dresser smelling her panties. This girl actually liked me so I knew she wouldn't find the joke funny, after a while she asked why they kept saying stuff about me and that they were just "jealous". It got so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I was quite amused.

Jealousy can cause a lot of animosity.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Most men aren't in touch with their sexuality. Most men aren't in touch with their masculinity and this is a very good example. They see what attracts a woman through someone else and they get angry because they aren't able to be that..or they just don't know how.

They'll ridicule what they don't understand. They'll put down what they admire internally. Maybe you should give them dating advice. *shrugs*
 

snackwitch

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backbreaker said:
Okay this is a rant.

alot of my stories revolve around AA/NA meetings becuase I spend alot of time there. Well, so does this one.

Apparantly, there is alot of anamosity towards me beucase alot of women in the program hang around me /like me. The feeling is not mutual with any of them, but of course that does not matter.

It would be one thing if I were activly chasing women. when women go out of their way to talk to you what in the hell are you supposed to do? Be an ******* for the sake of it?

One made a snide remark about how everyoe shoud ask me for dating advice, in the middle of a meetng no less. that was akward. Then there is awoman from out of town who was visiting, and she comes and sits by me and I heard someone say "oh **** he has another one".

I'm not doing anything with these women, but hell even if I were, WTF? Are you that damn bitter that all you can do is get pissy and talk about people?

that's not vey nice.

dude that is some minor haterism you got going on in the background. Snide remarks and ugly faces, who gives a sh*t. I would let it roll off my back, personally. Or throw it back humorously at them, like telling them you could meet them afterwards and give them advice (in response to the smart aleck that heckles you about the dating advice). Unless they were invading my space personally, I would be chill about it.

Are you sleeping with any of them? I would like to know what kind of static you get then.

Also, personally I would be careful that you let this get to your head too much. Just because you get a lot of attention from AA/NA females doesn't mean that much unless they are spreading it for you. They are more in the shallower end of the gene pool (meaning lower value and they know it) and kind of attention starved anyways. I say this because I go to AA/NA myself.
 
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zekko

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Just out of curiousity, to what do you attribute the women at these meetings preferring you?
Are the other guys just a bunch of duds? Are you particularly good looking? Dress well in contrast to everyone else? The only one in shape? Using kino on them all? Better at talking? What?
 

squirrels

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The funny thing is that they're probably CONTRIBUTING to and REINFORCING this effect heavily by their behavior. When every dude in the place is going on and on about how much of a womanizer you are, the ladies can't HELP but be curious. It's unbelievable social proof.
 

backbreaker

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zekko said:
Just out of curiousity, to what do you attribute the women at these meetings preferring you?
Are the other guys just a bunch of duds? Are you particularly good looking? Dress well in contrast to everyone else? The only one in shape? Using kino on them all? Better at talking? What?
because i'm the **** lol.

well, I am handsome from what I am told. I've been clean for a while now.. damn near 4 years. I am smart, I am pretty damn well off, I work out 6 days a week and i shows..
As a female friend of mine says, if I were on a date with me... I'd put out.
'
I have a woman, who I am extremely happy with.


I don't have to go to meetings to get women.. women look at me all the time in everyday life. but i see the people almost everyday. it's the equivelant of having this go on at work. it's a little to close to home for comfort.



i can't control what a woman feels. I was at the USC football game yesterday and the entire time, this chick who i have no idea how she got my number (seriously, i didn't give it to her), is texting me the entire meeting


"I miss u"

" I like you, always did really, anywaz sorry I bothered you"

"so when we goin to go out. I want you to pck me up"


this is all without me even responding. WTF am I supposed to do when i go to a meeting and she's just following me like a lost puppy? Then the group thinks i'm out praying on these women but ****.. they just want me. I don't mean to sound arrogant but damn.

Dont' get me wrong.. it's a better problem to have than to have no female attention. but it's a problem nevertheless.
 

zekko

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backbreaker said:
well, I am handsome from what I am told. I've been clean for a while now.. damn near 4 years. I am smart, I am pretty damn well off, I work out 6 days a week and i shows..
Sounds like you don't really need game, I almost wonder why you come to this forum.

Honestly, if you attract women that effortlessly, I probably wouldn't like you either :)

I hate to say this, but I also wonder about the quality of women in AA meetings. Or men, for that matter. Maybe they don't see a quality guy that often. Another thought I had was maybe some of the guys at the meetings had crushes on some of the girls, and you interfered with that (unintentionally). That could cause some resentment.
 

KontrollerX

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"Sounds like you don't really need game, I almost wonder why you come to this forum.

Honestly, if you attract women that effortlessly, I probably wouldn't like you either"


Heh heh you should go through BB's ancient post history.

He's really gotten a lot out of the knowledge here and has worked very hard to get to where he's at now.

What helped him probably the most was he made this huge list of goals that he wanted to complete, kind of like in a calender format if I remember correctly and he basically did a ton of work towards his goals with the time allocated to him in each passing day.

When he reached the end of the calender he was pretty much as proud of himself as he'd ever been as he'd accomplished quite a lot.

I think it might have been set up for around 200 and some days or something like that.
 

backbreaker

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damn you remember that?

I literarly grew up on this forum. Since I was 19 years old. When I came here I was a skinny, albeit cute, *****whipped AFC that had to find the key to get this ONE girl

It's like AA actually in th sense that onc eyou get clean, you still have to keep coming back,to 1. give back what was so freely given to you and 2. to keep learning.

I dont' come back as much. I got basics down. But the problems I deal with today aren't the ones I had. I have a 1 and a half year old son now.

I have been dating the same woman for 2 and a half years now. I have never dated a woman past 6 months utnil now. there are issues within the relationshp I could always use guidence on.

She's throwing out the idea.. more like hinting at the idea, that she wants to get married. It's like her and her friends fav hobby now is going by bridal shops. I got on my laptop in the living room a week ago and she "left the web page open" on a wedding photogrpher. so that's something I'm going to have to deal with.. one way or the other... that i have never been in before and many here have.


Easier? probably than the avg guy yes simply becuase I work out. your ass ratio goes up like x 10 when you are really in shape.


you know nothing about AA and that's fine.

to the point that, if something were to happen with me and my GF.. I probably wouldn't date outside of AA. A woman who is really working her program and has some real clean time under her belt I'd take 7 days a week over jane doe off the street.

tha's not all women in the rooms (or men) but the ones who are doing it right nd ave been for a while are some of the most solid citizens in america and you would have never known.
 

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She's throwing out the idea.. more like hinting at the idea, that she wants to get married. It's like her and her friends fav hobby now is going by bridal shops. I got on my laptop in the living room a week ago and she "left the web page open" on a wedding photogrpher. so that's something I'm going to have to deal with.. one way or the other... that i have never been in before and many here have.


Right now I am going through about the same thing. Except the web page my girlfriend left up was a ring and not a photographer.
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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squirrels said:
The funny thing is that they're probably CONTRIBUTING to and REINFORCING this effect heavily by their behavior. When every dude in the place is going on and on about how much of a womanizer you are, the ladies can't HELP but be curious. It's unbelievable social proof.
If this isn't literally written in stone, it should be. Within a large social circle to which I belong, I am known as "Billy Love." They started calling me that a couple years ago, and it didn't take long to see that it was hugely advantageous. It's set off the "Player Detector" a couple times but it always intrigues girls and gets them asking, "Why do they call you that?"
 

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Tazman said:
I've had a couple of my closest friends act up when we're around attractive women. Typically because the women they liked, turned out liking me, without any effort on my part. They wouldn't do it the way the guy did in your AA meeting, but they would start trying to poke fun at me more than they would normally do if it were just us guys hanging out.

Jealousy can cause a lot of animosity.
What I'm not sure about is whether to drop them or not. I have one long-time friend who turns into a douchebag when tail is around and pointed in my direction. Can't anyone just keep their sh!t to themselves?
 

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backbreaker said:
Easier? probably than the avg guy yes simply becuase I work out. your ass ratio goes up like x 10 when you are really in shape.

you know nothing about AA and that's fine.
I didn't mean to besmirch AA/NA because some of my best friends have been in the program and it has helped them a lot. But for some reason I have a picture of low class trashy women going there, ex bar fly types you know, and that's probably completely unfair. But you did say you weren't interested in any of the women there, I thought perhaps that was a reason - but it sounds like it is just because you're currently in a LTR.

Honestly, I've been in varying degrees of shape in my life, and I can't really recall it making THAT much of a difference in how women responded to me.
It made some difference, but nothing like 10x. I've been in pretty good shape at times, but I admit I've never been MASSIVELY pumped up. Pretty well ripped up, but not massively. On the other hand, I've never been horribly out of shape either.

I'm interested in this list of goals you put together for yourself. If you can think of the names of any of these threads with the calendar you had, post them up, I'd like to see them. Of course, at my age, I've met most of my goals, but it would still be interesting. Now that I mention it, if you're 26 why is this in the Mature Man section anyway?
 

backbreaker

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It's int he tip section. this was damn near 4 years ago.

I'm pretty ripped. but honestly, I don't think it's so much that as it's how I think of myself. I like me. I think i' pretty hot. I see a lot of guys who I think are on my level who don't get anywhere near the attention
 

zekko

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zekko said:
Honestly, I've been in varying degrees of shape in my life, and I can't really recall it making THAT much of a difference in how women responded to me.
Actually, after some thought, I need to recant this to some extent. I just remembered that when I was in high school I was pretty scrawny. When I got into my twenties I made a conscious decision to bulk up, and it did make a lot of difference for me (although I did still get girls when I was skinny). So I think if you start out at a certain muscular and fitness level, getting in shape may not make that much difference for you. But if you start out too scrawny, or too fat and sloppy, yeah I could see where getting in shape could make a huge difference.

I see a lot of guys who I think are on my level who don't get anywhere near the attention
Well, there are a lot of variables at play other than mere looks. Some people struggle socially, and there's more to it than just confidence. My natural tendency is to be somewhat introverted. It's not that I'm afraid of talking to people, it's that a lot of the time I just don't feel like talking to people.

When I was your age I was very much into being a social butterfly, but as I got older I got tired of being around that many people all the time. Now I feel I may have gone a little too far the other way and gotten isolative, so I'm looking to strike more of a balance. I mean I'm in a LTR also, very happy with it, but I don't go out socially that often anymore.

Point is some people are naturally extroverted, and have an advantage socially because they are energized by conversation. Introverts can enjoy socializing, but they tend to find it draining, and need down time to regenerate their energy. Whereas an extrovert can just feed and feed and feed.
 

backbreaker

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zekko said:
Actually, after some thought, I need to recant this to some extent. I just remembered that when I was in high school I was pretty scrawny. When I got into my twenties I made a conscious decision to bulk up, and it did make a lot of difference for me (although I did still get girls when I was skinny). So I think if you start out at a certain muscular and fitness level, getting in shape may not make that much difference for you. But if you start out too scrawny, or too fat and sloppy, yeah I could see where getting in shape could make a huge difference.


Well, there are a lot of variables at play other than mere looks. Some people struggle socially, and there's more to it than just confidence. My natural tendency is to be somewhat introverted. It's not that I'm afraid of talking to people, it's that a lot of the time I just don't feel like talking to people.

When I was your age I was very much into being a social butterfly, but as I got older I got tired of being around that many people all the time. Now I feel I may have gone a little too far the other way and gotten isolative, so I'm looking to strike more of a balance. I mean I'm in a LTR also, very happy with it, but I don't go out socially that often anymore.

Point is some people are naturally extroverted, and have an advantage socially because they are energized by conversation. Introverts can enjoy socializing, but they tend to find it draining, and need down time to regenerate their energy. Whereas an extrovert can just feed and feed and feed.
who said anything abou being a social butterfly? I go out of my way NOT totalk to people. I'm not shy, I just don' talk alot, unless I know you.

I prefer to go to my meeting, I prefer to not speak, to get what I need and go home.

but I still carry myself like I think I'm hot.


This woman that has been randomly texting me, I have not said2 words to. she told me the second she saw me she and looked in my eyes (i've been told I by many women it's the eyes that have done it) that she knew she wanted me.

there is nothing in my eyes but passion for life. nothing special about my eyes.
 
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