The art of not giving a f%$K

[Foe]

I need to read this book.

Anyway just a cautionary tale. So Ive been single for over two months, scored my first hottie about three weeks ago and closed the deal on the first date. Off to a great start. Second date my place for dinner, closed the deal, third date off to a art gallery (not my thing but Im not there for the art), closed the deal.

Now things are going great, shes amazing in bed and Im feeling great about myself. I decide early on to leverage the boost to my ego and see what else I can spin up with limited success. Meanwhile as I do this I notice her attention slipping, been here before so I let her stale out somewhat and focus on other opportunities again with limited success.

Then I see her fulling slipping (saw her create a new profile on tinder) so I call her out on it, she rings me straight up and tries to explain. I act cool and can tell shes not overly invested in the situation, then I start to lose it. I ask her whats happening with her, she admits to being interested in someone else, I get buthurt and judgy and she hangs up on me.

Now I know everything I did wrong, I know if I had played cool I could have probably got laid a few more times but here I am acting like a needy little b!tch with the typical outcome I should know better by now to avoid by having some self control.

On one hand I justify it to myself by saying I set a boundary (one that hypocritically I didnt set for myself) that she crossed. That Im better off without her and can go on to something better. On the other I think wtf did I just blow that up for no reason. I also wonder if I should try and salvage it with a follup text and what that would look like, an apology seems weak.

Perhaps something like "Hey X, Ive had time to think about the other night, I regret the way I handled it but no hard feelings, hope it all works out and if not give me a call".

That also seems pathetic. What do you think.

 

[Machine10033]

You only get better by learning from your mistakes. What do you think you could have done better ?

I am probably in a rare situation because I’ve never done anything dating/hookup related online. If I found out a girl I was enjoying decided to create a new tinder profile I probably would knock her out of my rotation entirely.

but this is all dependent on your situation. If you have your sh!t together, have style, have a purpose, are attractive, have status and resources... this will work for you. If you are early on in your journey... just cut her. In my early 20’s I had nothing.... and my main goal was to always respect myself. I cut girls off on a whim... and you know what... I always was able to fck them afterwards. To this day at 42...most of those girls still hit me up.

 

[The Duke]

Whats the point to cut them out and bring them back? If you have as much epic style and status as you do, I don't see the need.

 

[Foe]

You only get better by learning from your mistakes. What do you think you could have done better ?

If my intention was to keep hitting it, I should have kept my cool when she told me she was interested in someone else. Something like "That's nice, well I don't like to share so if it doesn't work out let me know, catch".

Then again maybe I am learning from my mistakes as the last two GF's I had I ignored this behavior which lead to years of s3x in a relationship where I was a plate effectively. This did nothing for my self esteem so Id like to think I am getting better at standing up for myself.

I cut girls off on a whim... and you know what... I always was able to fck them afterwards. To this day at 42...most of those girls still hit me up.

This stands up to my research, how exactly do you cut them out to get them to come back. Whats the play by play here.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This girl wanted to see a potential future with you and is feeling used. She could prob sense you slipping away when you decided to leverage your ego boost. So she turned her attention to some other dude it sounds like

You might be able to get her back if you want but might not be worth it at this point. Maybe throw her an invite for some wine under the stars and see if she bites. Say "sorry for being a brat" or something if you feel the need to throw her an apology.

 

[Foe]

This girl wanted to see a future with you and is feeling used. She could prob sense you slipping away when you decided to leverage your ego boost.

Yeah this is fair though despite my clunky approach there is no way she can feel this now. Now she would have to know I was interested and it was her that was only mildly invested. Besides I invited her to hang before the Tinder thing and she declined saying she was busy, it was only then I found her on tinder. So hence why I got pissed.