I have been reading and studying this site for years. One point that I have come across is that "pride" is considered a good trait to have to obtain these dream girls we all want. I bought into this tactic and tried it out for a few years. I got laid on multiple occasions and it was great. I was the "GREAT CATCH" and I thought I was something else. One day I woke up next to a girl and I realized I wasn't happy and wanted something that was pure and real. I was tired of these fake relationships with hot girls. The games got the point of no return. I would think so much about every move and plan out ahead of time my moves that it got ridiculous. Like I stated earlier I was getting laid but I was not happy. Happiness is not external it is internal and this I have come to learn. One day I got tired of all these tactics with women and wanted to figure out the real me and not a fake me to try to get these hot girls. It is really funny how things work and I really hope this story helps yall out. Well I was hanging out with a buddy one day and he started talking about the bible. I went home that night and instead of studying how to approach girls at bars, I opened the bible. I read and I read and I learned alot about this book. I started linking what I learned to the world and what I have learned from this site. I will tell you one thing pride will make you unhappy. Being prideful is directly correlated with ego and to achieve happiness the ego must be gone completely. After realizing that pride was taking away my happiness, I started researching the topic of Humility. Humility is not exactly what most people think it is. Humility is based on your true, realistic self esteem. It is not an inflated opinion of yourself nor a delfated opinion of yourself. You are what you are and this has helped me out drastically. I am a fairly good looking guy and for years I would depend on other peoples opinion to decide my worth and my self esteem. If they thought I was hot stuff my self esteem would be high. If they thought I was ugly my self esteem would be low. Humility teaches to view yourself accurately and in a "sober" manner. I started looking at myself in a realistic manner and realized that I was an attractive guy who has alot going for him. I also realized that any girl would be lucky to get me because I was now different from the crowd. I went to a bar to test out what I learned in the Bible and wow is all I can say. I do not drink or smoke but I was invited to go out for my buddies bday and I seized the opportunity. Having a accurate view of myself and not thinking I was the best or "no one was above me" gave me a sense of happiness. I was free to be myself and say what was true to me. That night I ended up getting two numbers from beautiful girls and not only that but the conversations I had with the were undescribable. I was so used to approaching girls with the intent of sleeping with them. I now do not have sex with girls and I am committing to myself to wait until marraige. This coming from a guy who has a past. The convos I had with these girls were real and we connected on a level that I have never done with a girl before. Instead of spitting so called game we talked about real stuff and I could tell they really appreciated it. This new found humility lead me to talk to them about their lives because I actually cared. I wasn't being a selfish being who wanted to have sex. I wanted to get to know them as people and not an Item. Humility is a great topic and the bible has some great answers. Hopefully yall can give me some advice on this topic and we can chime in on something that has true meaning to life. rue happiness is internal not external. Thanks guys.
The answer to all this DON JUAN madness.
- Thread starter ballinNY
- Start date
Accension
Senior Don Juan
In all your years of study, you never once noticed how easier things are to read in bite-sized paragraphs.
You lost half your audience just from poor presentation.
Edit your post and your ideas will probably be acknowledged.
Good to see you're.. nt tlkin lik dis, no one really takes those types seriously either.
You lost half your audience just from poor presentation.
Edit your post and your ideas will probably be acknowledged.
Good to see you're.. nt tlkin lik dis, no one really takes those types seriously either.
I read it, and you're right. I am speaking about losing your ego, and finding happiness within, not being outcome dependant and truly being yourself, as opposed to an afc who puts a 'shell' of a player around him to nail chicks.. Thats the key to being a natural. THis is why I like RSD, because that is what they preach there. There is a difference between confidence and pride, and it sounds like you know exactly what that is, and are keeping your pride in check.
If you are having real convo's with these chicks and they are genuinely ATTRACTED, then, great. Go with it. I am wondering if you arent putting yourself in the friend zone by doing it though, but if it works, great. If you want to wait for marriage, thats your own deal there, but you have the right mindset.
I have no doubt that you can learn how to be attractive form the bible. It tells you how to be a real man, and what causes problems, and failures, and success, so why wouldnt it apply to pickup as well? Not directly, or course, but it tells you how to be the kind of man that chicks would want, and it tells you how to handle them, as well.
If you are having real convo's with these chicks and they are genuinely ATTRACTED, then, great. Go with it. I am wondering if you arent putting yourself in the friend zone by doing it though, but if it works, great. If you want to wait for marriage, thats your own deal there, but you have the right mindset.
I have no doubt that you can learn how to be attractive form the bible. It tells you how to be a real man, and what causes problems, and failures, and success, so why wouldnt it apply to pickup as well? Not directly, or course, but it tells you how to be the kind of man that chicks would want, and it tells you how to handle them, as well.
It seems as though you don't understand the meaning of pride. You are confusing it with arrogance. Pride does not necessarily go hand in hand with a big ego. To have pride is to value oneself, to have principles and to not take crap from other people. It is to have confidence in your abilities and faith that you will succeed in your endeavors.
Being arrogant will ultimately get you burned, but pride is a quality that every person should strive for. It is possible to be both proud and humble.
Being arrogant will ultimately get you burned, but pride is a quality that every person should strive for. It is possible to be both proud and humble.
prairiedog24
Senior Don Juan
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Good critique dude. I really like your perspective.horaholic said:
What's RSD?
I think being a sleazy PUA is a step on the road to becoming a real man.
You can BEST appreciate one GREAT woman if you've had several BAD women. You can BEST appreciate Jesus if you've stared Satan in his face.
Just my opinion but if this is what it takes to get nerds off their asses and into the baby pool of relationships than so be it. If they're good people they will learn.
You can BEST appreciate one GREAT woman if you've had several BAD women. You can BEST appreciate Jesus if you've stared Satan in his face.
Just my opinion but if this is what it takes to get nerds off their asses and into the baby pool of relationships than so be it. If they're good people they will learn.
nismo-4
Moderator
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Great post, but stretching the point too far (which you did a lot here) is redundant.
Very good post. There's a lot of truth into what you say. The Bible is about humanity, and it's author is Divine Love itself. You understand this, you understand the authentic Don Juan mentality. Mystery and Matador understand this also but they use magick, and summon the adversary of God, also this forum follows their techniques, hence the negative effects it has on relationships that you make in your post. Same principle though, it's an understanding of humanity and our spirit.
ballinNY
Real talk. Hopefully many boys will also turn to men on this forum once (or if) they have finished over-compensating for their afc past.
There is more life than how many women you have sex with, more to life than how many girls you have by the side of you; there is more to life than all that stupid, insecure sh!t.
In the end what really counts is the love between people. How much somebody cares about you. And what you are ready to build and pass down.
Reminds me of this song. Give it you undivided attention, and you will find the same message;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObYUF5NxXJ4
Peace
V
Real talk. Hopefully many boys will also turn to men on this forum once (or if) they have finished over-compensating for their afc past.
There is more life than how many women you have sex with, more to life than how many girls you have by the side of you; there is more to life than all that stupid, insecure sh!t.
In the end what really counts is the love between people. How much somebody cares about you. And what you are ready to build and pass down.
Reminds me of this song. Give it you undivided attention, and you will find the same message;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObYUF5NxXJ4
Peace
V
Natural Vibe
Don Juan
RSD -> Real Social Dynamics. A quite unique brand in the seduction industry;
They don't really base themselves on teaching you lines and techniques (even if they exist). Instead they teach you to become you, the real you. They allow you to become a natural.
http://www.rsdnation.com/
While this site is alot about outer game, RSD is very Inner Game focused. The coaches there all have their own blogs, which I recommend you track down and read them. You will learn so much.
They don't really base themselves on teaching you lines and techniques (even if they exist). Instead they teach you to become you, the real you. They allow you to become a natural.
http://www.rsdnation.com/
While this site is alot about outer game, RSD is very Inner Game focused. The coaches there all have their own blogs, which I recommend you track down and read them. You will learn so much.
fertileTurtle
Master Don Juan
I agree with you. Humility is important. You have to be based in reality. In fact, I'm a Christian, so you are right to say that getting poon isn't the more important thing on the planet, but it's good to know how to. You are a sexual being. That's how God made you.
OP, I'm not saying you're wrong, but like the other poster said maybe you are using misnomers? Isn't ego what makes everyone human? And can't your ego work both for you or against you? Isn't your ego that can tell you, you're not good enough, smart enough etc. to accomplish xyz? I do think much of the PUA community has attraction wrong.ElGuapo said:
Accension
Senior Don Juan
Their products are amazing resources BUT they're expensive.Natural Vibe said:
Solution > Learn how to torrent > Download pirate RSD Products for free.
One day I'll actually pay for their products out of guilt, that's how valueable they are to me.
Anyone else can kindly fuc7 off.
I am sorry for the thread being so compact. I just got on a roll and did not think to space it apart. I am 22 and have learned so much in the past years. I just want to share what I learned with yall and I hope yall can do the same for me. Pride is good when it is realistic. As I stated above you must view yourself in a "Sober" manner. Being the great catch is what we all go for BUT you must MAKE yourself into the great catch. If you are screwing 50 girls, doing drugs and not living a ethical life then in my mind you are not the great catch. I guess this all comes down to your personal beliefs. The must important thing I have learned is that I always want to be TRUE to myself and that is loving everyone even if it costs me a girl. I am not talking AFC stuff I am talking being the real you and naturally expressing yourself. Self esteem is critical to success but it must be earned through your choices.
fertileTurtle
Master Don Juan
I agree with this 100%. Drugs and drink give an inflated view of one's greatness, which leads to complacency and ruin in certain areas of character, if not all areas.ballinNY said:
I would like to contend that in believing every day that I am the great catch I have avoided being sucked in by the wiles of women with lower class than me. Let me give you a recent example. A hottie I work with has been obviously wanted to sleep with me. She's been trying to get me, but I have done something I never did in the past. I've waited to see more of her story play out in who she is and what she is after. I've heard from some of her friends that she has herpes and like 2 other STDS. Now if I would have rushed in like a drunken fool, I may have been literally BURNED by this wh*re.
I'm after more in a lady than I used to be. I don't care about numbers or how long I have to wait to get what I am after anymore. Every interaction, every day of learning, I am more able to define what I want in a woman.
I had a nice little interaction with another girl I work with. She's a brilliant 17 y/o who is sexy and smart. She's starting college this semester. I can tell she is into me too, but I can tell she’s more concerned with her image. I can see the underlying sexual interest in her, but she’s not an idiot about it. She doesn’t wear it on her sleeve, and obviously has a lot more to offer than the other girl I almost messed up with. But I have quite a few women in my life right now who I'm pursuing who are quality acts and not just another boost for a phony self.
I am a Protestant and I know pride is the number one thing God hates.
PRIDE is at a wedding sitting to the right of the Groom assuming you are better than all else. The groom looks at you funny and says,'This seat is reserved for someone else, please move.' You will be humbled.
HUMILITY is sitting at the foot of the table and then the groom saying,' Why are you sitting over there?? Come, sit next to me my friend.' You will be honored.
PRIDE is at a wedding sitting to the right of the Groom assuming you are better than all else. The groom looks at you funny and says,'This seat is reserved for someone else, please move.' You will be humbled.
HUMILITY is sitting at the foot of the table and then the groom saying,' Why are you sitting over there?? Come, sit next to me my friend.' You will be honored.
Hey man. There is so much to say about all this. I'll try to keep it short.
The answer is to be assertive- something most men already are by nature.
I'm no expert yet but masculinity is not about fronting as an aggressive jerk/don juan, or being submissive AFC. Being BallinNY is the most masculine thing you can do. Being Violent V is to be masculine.
Its easier said than done (because it comes down to true self-esteem, self-respect and confidence) but its all just down to you letting go of all the tactics, the aggressive front, the fake ****y, and just being YOU. This seems to be what you want as well.
You will naturally know when you need to put she or he in their place, but for the most part you will be all about positivity, love and peace without being submissive.
It is already in your nature to take the lead, to think logically, to put jerks and b!tches in their place, to be compassionate and loving and help others. Its not something 'don juans' need to practice, put on or sacrifice like they do. Just have faith and trust to look deeper within to find it....
This website wakes AFCs up but most people take it too far.... from one extreme to the other.
Both the AFC way and don juan way is just covering up insecurities, most specifically regarding our masculinity.
Breaking out of 'game', jerk and don juan is letting go of sosuave, the tactics, the plans, the calculations, and switching the focus on you- embracing your true nature, listening to your heart, acting on your gut feeling, fulfilling your heart's desires.
You will start naturally to acknowledge the right for others to have an opinion, but also recognise the right to respect yours as well. This is being assertive.
'Don juans' had afc pasts, so they overcompensate. These men need to realise at some point or another that life isn't about chasing women. Money-driven men usually come from very poor backgrounds. These capitalists need to realise that life isn't just about profit.
Everyone is trying to fill some emptiness inside. The first real step you can take, is to realise you were never really empty in the first place. Nothing externally can 'complete' you. This is true security.
Also, disregard past memories of you and rid your mind of salvation in the future- this is where the ego is created: by thinking too much.
Be present. Focus on right now (be concious of your breathing, the slack muscles around your body, all the noises around you that pollute the underlying silence) and you will start acting according to your nature, not your mind-made afc or player character.
I can recommend highly enough the book The Power of Now.
V
The answer is to be assertive- something most men already are by nature.
I'm no expert yet but masculinity is not about fronting as an aggressive jerk/don juan, or being submissive AFC. Being BallinNY is the most masculine thing you can do. Being Violent V is to be masculine.
Its easier said than done (because it comes down to true self-esteem, self-respect and confidence) but its all just down to you letting go of all the tactics, the aggressive front, the fake ****y, and just being YOU. This seems to be what you want as well.
You will naturally know when you need to put she or he in their place, but for the most part you will be all about positivity, love and peace without being submissive.
It is already in your nature to take the lead, to think logically, to put jerks and b!tches in their place, to be compassionate and loving and help others. Its not something 'don juans' need to practice, put on or sacrifice like they do. Just have faith and trust to look deeper within to find it....
This website wakes AFCs up but most people take it too far.... from one extreme to the other.
Both the AFC way and don juan way is just covering up insecurities, most specifically regarding our masculinity.
Breaking out of 'game', jerk and don juan is letting go of sosuave, the tactics, the plans, the calculations, and switching the focus on you- embracing your true nature, listening to your heart, acting on your gut feeling, fulfilling your heart's desires.
You will start naturally to acknowledge the right for others to have an opinion, but also recognise the right to respect yours as well. This is being assertive.
'Don juans' had afc pasts, so they overcompensate. These men need to realise at some point or another that life isn't about chasing women. Money-driven men usually come from very poor backgrounds. These capitalists need to realise that life isn't just about profit.
Everyone is trying to fill some emptiness inside. The first real step you can take, is to realise you were never really empty in the first place. Nothing externally can 'complete' you. This is true security.
Also, disregard past memories of you and rid your mind of salvation in the future- this is where the ego is created: by thinking too much.
Be present. Focus on right now (be concious of your breathing, the slack muscles around your body, all the noises around you that pollute the underlying silence) and you will start acting according to your nature, not your mind-made afc or player character.
I can recommend highly enough the book The Power of Now.
V
Violent V man mad respect for your post. I am just having a hard time finding my true self esteem and confidence and its a frustrating occurence. I have used affirmations but I feel that it is wrong to state "I am the best" or "I am the great catch" because it is not humble. This is a form of cognative dissonace and I am having trouble finding the balance of being humber and confident. any more advice would be great man.
Hey Man,
Thinking 'I am the best', or I am better than everyone else here' or 'I am the Man' is definitely not what i am trying to achieve either.
Using the mind to solve mind-made problems is not going to work. It is because of the mind that I acted like an AFC- submissive and completely out of tune with my nature. And then I used my mind to solve the problem! Say this, do that, affirm this, be an ass so I won’t come across as an afc/I will get all these girls to like me!
It is the cause of all this madness.
It works for a while, and then I see the bigger picture- fronting as a jerk calculating my next move or words with a girl- It is relying on my mind to solve a problem it has created.
The answer was always to follow my instincts in the first place, not theories and calculations.
I had an AFC persona, I tried switching up to a jerk persona and realised quickly i was just a sheep in wearing a wolf clothing. I thought, Why can't i just be myself?
I think the real key to touching that inner self-esteem, that secure confidence and start behaving according to your instincts and nature is this: Let go completely of everything external which we rely upon to make us happy or gives us an identity.
You will find your true self, your true nature when you don't associate or define yourself with anything in the physical, external world. When you stand only for ballinNY, you don’t fall for everything,
This includes what other people’s opinions would be. The abundance or lack of Girls in our lives, the amount of money we earn or want to earn, what car we want or have, sosuave, what religion we identify ourselves with, what sports team we ‘follow’, what nationality we 'supposedly' are, even our names- none of these make us who we really really are deep down- humble, social human beings.
And i guess thats where the conflict arises in so many of us. Our true nature, that instinct telling us what we wantto do or say, and the voice/ self-image in our head- the mind, conditioned since childhood by society- telling us what we should do or say.
The mind is at the root of all the wars and hatred man imposes on one another. People obsessed with power, with profit, with themselves being ahead, even if it means enslaving his own kind to hard labour and death. By nature we are social beings, humble and loving. I guess this is why kino is powerful amongst humans.
So I say besides stripping off all the external associations, turn down the voice in my head, resist all those thoughts and thinking! Stop hesitating and ACT on my nature; on my instincts. LIVE LIKE I WAS A CHILD AGAIN.
I have a long way to go yet, But I have recognised the problem. The solution I am not so sure about, but I am guessing it is to cut down on the thinking, the thoughts, the identity created in the mind, and start acting on our instincts, stop hesitating and start doing what our heart urges. We should begin to feel complete because we aren’t relying on anything external for satisfaction. We are following our hearts instead of rejecting it, and the emptiness begins to close. The authentic confidence will surely blossom.
Again I am no expert. Pick up The Power of Now, and also read this if you haven’t already: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30513
I am more or less in the same boat as you. It’s a long term thing looking within and building REAL confidence and self-esteem, not something based on anything external, but it will be worth it!
V
Thinking 'I am the best', or I am better than everyone else here' or 'I am the Man' is definitely not what i am trying to achieve either.
Using the mind to solve mind-made problems is not going to work. It is because of the mind that I acted like an AFC- submissive and completely out of tune with my nature. And then I used my mind to solve the problem! Say this, do that, affirm this, be an ass so I won’t come across as an afc/I will get all these girls to like me!
It is the cause of all this madness.
It works for a while, and then I see the bigger picture- fronting as a jerk calculating my next move or words with a girl- It is relying on my mind to solve a problem it has created.
The answer was always to follow my instincts in the first place, not theories and calculations.
I had an AFC persona, I tried switching up to a jerk persona and realised quickly i was just a sheep in wearing a wolf clothing. I thought, Why can't i just be myself?
I think the real key to touching that inner self-esteem, that secure confidence and start behaving according to your instincts and nature is this: Let go completely of everything external which we rely upon to make us happy or gives us an identity.
You will find your true self, your true nature when you don't associate or define yourself with anything in the physical, external world. When you stand only for ballinNY, you don’t fall for everything,
This includes what other people’s opinions would be. The abundance or lack of Girls in our lives, the amount of money we earn or want to earn, what car we want or have, sosuave, what religion we identify ourselves with, what sports team we ‘follow’, what nationality we 'supposedly' are, even our names- none of these make us who we really really are deep down- humble, social human beings.
And i guess thats where the conflict arises in so many of us. Our true nature, that instinct telling us what we wantto do or say, and the voice/ self-image in our head- the mind, conditioned since childhood by society- telling us what we should do or say.
The mind is at the root of all the wars and hatred man imposes on one another. People obsessed with power, with profit, with themselves being ahead, even if it means enslaving his own kind to hard labour and death. By nature we are social beings, humble and loving. I guess this is why kino is powerful amongst humans.
So I say besides stripping off all the external associations, turn down the voice in my head, resist all those thoughts and thinking! Stop hesitating and ACT on my nature; on my instincts. LIVE LIKE I WAS A CHILD AGAIN.
I have a long way to go yet, But I have recognised the problem. The solution I am not so sure about, but I am guessing it is to cut down on the thinking, the thoughts, the identity created in the mind, and start acting on our instincts, stop hesitating and start doing what our heart urges. We should begin to feel complete because we aren’t relying on anything external for satisfaction. We are following our hearts instead of rejecting it, and the emptiness begins to close. The authentic confidence will surely blossom.
Again I am no expert. Pick up The Power of Now, and also read this if you haven’t already: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30513
I am more or less in the same boat as you. It’s a long term thing looking within and building REAL confidence and self-esteem, not something based on anything external, but it will be worth it!
V
