AlwaysExcel
Senior Don Juan
So it's been preached over and over again that girls fvck alphas and bind AFCs up in enslaving relationships. It sounds like the alphas are in the better position because they are free to fvck lots of girls. But when the alpha wants a relationship, the AFC is in the better position to get one because the alpha refuses to have a relationship on the girl's terms. And lots of chicks seem too low self esteem (LSE) to handle a relationship on the alpha's terms. They'll try to submit him and start giving him BS, or they won't get into the relationship at all! I recently experienced this firsthand when this chick I really liked rejected me for an AFC. This sounds like sour grapes but it’s truly not. The funny thing is that she basically explained that that she went with him BECAUSE he’s an AFC, so I felt more complimented than deflated.
I’ve recently been introduced to Neo_Rio’s 101 theory (search www.fastseduction.com), which has helped me understand the situation a bit. Basically I'm wondering about the proper use of the 101 to get a MLTR. Because it seems that social proof as the 0 backfires since it never completely disappears in a MLTR. Other girls always have me, regardless of the relationship with my primary.
I’ve tried to explain the primary vs. secondary vs. ONS to girls when I talk about polyamory but I haven’t had girls try to compete to be primary yet in my limited experience. It’s like all or nothing for them. So maybe some girls are just too LSE for an open relationship.
Anyhow, I’ve posted the background story if anyone cares to read about it. This is not another whiny “this one girl” post. I've been experiencing a disturbing pattern with the girls I fvcked.
THE STORY
I attracted this HB9, HBbellydancer in my social circle, (big fake tits, belly dancer, awesome body, smart, high paying brainy career, self sufficient, lots of hobbies and adventuresome interests). I attracted her with just my alpha mannerisms, high social value in my scene, and playful dominant kino, despite the fact that she was dating another guy from her work (he is a complete AFC).
On our first date, I told her I’m polyamorous and tongued her down. My social proof with other girls is something she’s experienced as real and even heard another girl leave a message on my machine the morning after we had sex. I fvcked her on our second meet. She basically agreed beforehand that she would stay the night at my house.
I admit that the sex and the vibing afterward could’ve been better. Afterward, she talked about how it was really hard to tell the AFC that she wanted to casually date. She felt bad because he wanted more. I had met him so I was confident that he’d self destruct and wasn’t a threat. Her friends even clowned him. She also talked about how her ex was so passive and lame.
Anyhow she gradually became cold after sex and was too busy to meet up for a couple weeks. Finally, after not asking her out on the weekend of her B-day/Valentine’s day, she hit me up. I told her that her lack of attention was causing my feeling of connection with her to fade and I basically tried to use some 101-type shyt to arrange another meet up.
She told me that she went on a trip with the AFC and now is exclusive with him! And get this, they’re going to a Pimps and Ho’s party, where she’s the pimp and he’s in drag as her ho!! His idea.
I fvcked with her head a bit (wove in some BF destroyers and guilt trips) and got her justifying herself to me. Her last BF of like 6 years was a WBAFC and a virgin when they met. She eventually told him she wanted an open relationship. He didn’t like it but was too much of a pvssy to do anything. Eventually, when one of her GFs started giving him attention, he got fed up and left her. The fact that his lame ass could leave her behind hit her self esteem hard and she blamed herself for being selfish.
Come to find out, the same pattern occurred with the current pvssy. He went along with the open relationship to “appease her” (her words). They had some good times together, including going to Mardi Gras where she “fell for him.” She knew he wanted an LTR and felt guilty that he felt bad when she fvcked other people like me. She mentioned that when she realized she hated the thought of him dating other people, she decided to become exclusive because she was afraid that he would get fed up and leave like the last guy. So he used just a tad bit of social proof to make her afraid that he too would leave if she kept up her playing around, all the while dangling the positive idea of a secure LTR in front of her. 101 1=good times, 0=social proof/fear of leaving/fear of no LTR, 1=she gets into LTR to keep him around.
The funny thing is that she’s still attracted to alphas (of course) but her LSE prevents her from being with them. (In fact, the convo had the tone of her trying to persuade me that I should adopt exclusiveness. She even dropped in her interest in 3-somes with other girls lol) She can’t handle the social proof we get, the competition from other girls, our refusal to be tamed, so she settles for the stagnant security of an AFC. She focused on why she couldn't do the open relationship thing and told me that she is too insecure to be in an open relationship where the dude can actually pull as much strange ass as her.
She didn’t chose me, partly because I didn’t show her a bomb ass time with me and in my bed, BUT also because my social proof with other girls (the 0) was something she couldn’t handle and something I NEVER HELPED HER SUFFICIENTLY RESOLVE. It was like the first 1 was a little weaker than the 0, which was hardcore. And the final 1 wasn’t framed right or strongly enough to handle the 0. With an AFC, the 0 is more effective because it’s so unexpected. With me, she knew before we hooked up that I get other women and could leave at anytime.
I really don’t think my problem is PLAYING too hard to get. Being attractive to multiple women is more who I am now. I do give lots of affection, kino, and pillow talk after sex. In fact I was feeling insecure about showing so much affection because the girls become cold afterward. I think I was just a challenge that could never be entirely resolved by this girl and she knew this or at least didn’t have the confidence to try to beta-ise me. It sucks because this girl seemed like LTR material. The full package…or so I thought. The LSE disqualifies her from the open relationship I require. But I would’ve loved to build up her esteem and show her that the queen is higher than the harem. I tried to convey this when I explained polyamory but she obviously couldn’t handle it, even though she was calm at the time.
This is not the first girl I’ve lost to needy AFCs. One dude outgamed me by being super jealous but that girl’s head was truly oriented toward extreme drama. Still, these girls settled for less because they can’t seem to get around my refusal to be exclusive. I'm starting to wonder if this is the issue with all of these girls who act cold toward me after sex.
So what’s the best way to use the 101 to get into a MLTR? It seems like social proof is not the proper 0 because that NEVER leaves in an MLTR.
I’ve recently been introduced to Neo_Rio’s 101 theory (search www.fastseduction.com), which has helped me understand the situation a bit. Basically I'm wondering about the proper use of the 101 to get a MLTR. Because it seems that social proof as the 0 backfires since it never completely disappears in a MLTR. Other girls always have me, regardless of the relationship with my primary.
I’ve tried to explain the primary vs. secondary vs. ONS to girls when I talk about polyamory but I haven’t had girls try to compete to be primary yet in my limited experience. It’s like all or nothing for them. So maybe some girls are just too LSE for an open relationship.
Anyhow, I’ve posted the background story if anyone cares to read about it. This is not another whiny “this one girl” post. I've been experiencing a disturbing pattern with the girls I fvcked.
THE STORY
I attracted this HB9, HBbellydancer in my social circle, (big fake tits, belly dancer, awesome body, smart, high paying brainy career, self sufficient, lots of hobbies and adventuresome interests). I attracted her with just my alpha mannerisms, high social value in my scene, and playful dominant kino, despite the fact that she was dating another guy from her work (he is a complete AFC).
On our first date, I told her I’m polyamorous and tongued her down. My social proof with other girls is something she’s experienced as real and even heard another girl leave a message on my machine the morning after we had sex. I fvcked her on our second meet. She basically agreed beforehand that she would stay the night at my house.
I admit that the sex and the vibing afterward could’ve been better. Afterward, she talked about how it was really hard to tell the AFC that she wanted to casually date. She felt bad because he wanted more. I had met him so I was confident that he’d self destruct and wasn’t a threat. Her friends even clowned him. She also talked about how her ex was so passive and lame.
Anyhow she gradually became cold after sex and was too busy to meet up for a couple weeks. Finally, after not asking her out on the weekend of her B-day/Valentine’s day, she hit me up. I told her that her lack of attention was causing my feeling of connection with her to fade and I basically tried to use some 101-type shyt to arrange another meet up.
She told me that she went on a trip with the AFC and now is exclusive with him! And get this, they’re going to a Pimps and Ho’s party, where she’s the pimp and he’s in drag as her ho!! His idea.
I fvcked with her head a bit (wove in some BF destroyers and guilt trips) and got her justifying herself to me. Her last BF of like 6 years was a WBAFC and a virgin when they met. She eventually told him she wanted an open relationship. He didn’t like it but was too much of a pvssy to do anything. Eventually, when one of her GFs started giving him attention, he got fed up and left her. The fact that his lame ass could leave her behind hit her self esteem hard and she blamed herself for being selfish.
Come to find out, the same pattern occurred with the current pvssy. He went along with the open relationship to “appease her” (her words). They had some good times together, including going to Mardi Gras where she “fell for him.” She knew he wanted an LTR and felt guilty that he felt bad when she fvcked other people like me. She mentioned that when she realized she hated the thought of him dating other people, she decided to become exclusive because she was afraid that he would get fed up and leave like the last guy. So he used just a tad bit of social proof to make her afraid that he too would leave if she kept up her playing around, all the while dangling the positive idea of a secure LTR in front of her. 101 1=good times, 0=social proof/fear of leaving/fear of no LTR, 1=she gets into LTR to keep him around.
The funny thing is that she’s still attracted to alphas (of course) but her LSE prevents her from being with them. (In fact, the convo had the tone of her trying to persuade me that I should adopt exclusiveness. She even dropped in her interest in 3-somes with other girls lol) She can’t handle the social proof we get, the competition from other girls, our refusal to be tamed, so she settles for the stagnant security of an AFC. She focused on why she couldn't do the open relationship thing and told me that she is too insecure to be in an open relationship where the dude can actually pull as much strange ass as her.
She didn’t chose me, partly because I didn’t show her a bomb ass time with me and in my bed, BUT also because my social proof with other girls (the 0) was something she couldn’t handle and something I NEVER HELPED HER SUFFICIENTLY RESOLVE. It was like the first 1 was a little weaker than the 0, which was hardcore. And the final 1 wasn’t framed right or strongly enough to handle the 0. With an AFC, the 0 is more effective because it’s so unexpected. With me, she knew before we hooked up that I get other women and could leave at anytime.
I really don’t think my problem is PLAYING too hard to get. Being attractive to multiple women is more who I am now. I do give lots of affection, kino, and pillow talk after sex. In fact I was feeling insecure about showing so much affection because the girls become cold afterward. I think I was just a challenge that could never be entirely resolved by this girl and she knew this or at least didn’t have the confidence to try to beta-ise me. It sucks because this girl seemed like LTR material. The full package…or so I thought. The LSE disqualifies her from the open relationship I require. But I would’ve loved to build up her esteem and show her that the queen is higher than the harem. I tried to convey this when I explained polyamory but she obviously couldn’t handle it, even though she was calm at the time.
This is not the first girl I’ve lost to needy AFCs. One dude outgamed me by being super jealous but that girl’s head was truly oriented toward extreme drama. Still, these girls settled for less because they can’t seem to get around my refusal to be exclusive. I'm starting to wonder if this is the issue with all of these girls who act cold toward me after sex.
So what’s the best way to use the 101 to get into a MLTR? It seems like social proof is not the proper 0 because that NEVER leaves in an MLTR.
