that funk.

Demodulate

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2003
Messages
265
Reaction score
5
I guess I just need to vent..

ill be 33 next month, and I feel like im stuck in a rut.. I lost my father 6 years ago and really dont have anyone to talk to or look up to.. some of my better friends from different social circles just started dating some of my ex's and I am already feeling the effects socialy.. less phone calls, excluded from guys night out.. so much for bros before hoes..

Younger girl I have had on and off again relations with now has a SO, and for some reason it really bothers me.. when we where together it was always fun, but I would never commit. No that shes off the table and I cant just call her up for a fun night out, it just erks me. I still get the drunken dial from her, but I like her enough to respect the relationship shes in.. Last night she calls to tell me shes getting a boob job, and for some reason I just started being mean to her.. I dont think she needs it.. and shes going to use credit it get them.. rather then wish her well. I just told her she was stupid, then it broke down into an argument.. I just got off the phone..

I feel like my dating pool is drying up quick, I will no longer date single mothers, and whats left in my area is a bunch of gold diggers..

I belong to a mma gym, work out there 3-4 times a week, have a decent job with a well known company in the area, working on my masters at the local U, My house is payed for, I have a decent portfolio. I have 2 cars and bike. I am half way decent looking.. but I cant for the life of me find a girl I want to keep around. my friends tell me I am too picky and have stopped trying to hook me up. I dont put up with any bull sh:t, and the good girls I have dated ive dumped for stupid ****, like her ass is to big..

wah wah wah :cry:

so guys.. I need some moral suppourt..

I feel like its time for me to leave this area.. I hate it when my friends start dating my ex's, even more when those buds start giving me the cold shoulder...
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,502
Reaction score
63
Location
Galt's Gulch
It's been said before and it seems to never sink in. Stop worrying about everyone else and what they are doing as compared to you and start focusing on yourself. Start defining yourself intrinsically and not by what you have, who you work for and how you look. If any of this really mattered you wouldn't be feeling the way you do now would you? All of those things are just fine, it's you that you need to be working on, not your stuff.
 

Demodulate

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2003
Messages
265
Reaction score
5
Francisco d'Anconia said:
It's been said before and it seems to never sink in. Stop worrying about everyone else and what they are doing as compared to you and start focusing on yourself. Start defining yourself intrinsically and not by what you have, who you work for and how you look. If any of this really mattered you wouldn't be feeling the way you do now would you? All of those things are just fine, it's you that you need to be working on, not your stuff.

I get what your saying.. but what started as working on myself, has degraded into routine.. sometimes I question putting forth the effort to better myself. yesterday I blew off the gym so I could go home and just sit on the couch.. then you start in on the what the hell am I doing with my life questions.. all the woman i have dumped for "shallow" reasons. then the phone call from the girl, and me lashing out cause I am broody..

I probably should have just gone to the gym.
 

Demodulate

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2003
Messages
265
Reaction score
5
frivolousz21 said:
Cant you make friends at the gym?
one of my friends actually got me to go there...

I was thinking about him this morning..

he comes from a extremly wealthy family in town.

he is fun to go out with to a point.. he attracts the gold diggers like flys to sh:t. he is a bigger guy, and relies mostly on his wealth to pull girls.. he is big into social proof, drives nice cars, needs to have nice ****, and hot girls on him.. cant stand it when someone more well to do is in the room with him..

the point is, I dont like going out socially with him.. he is so totally AFC with them.. buying them drinks, etc.. the girls expect it from me as well.. and I just dont do it..

if I bring someone with me its a good time, otherwise its just like watching a train wreck.. he never goes home with any of them.. but he sure talks like he does...


anyway...

alot of the other guys that I know there run in different social circles, I have yet to go out with...

ill have to see whats up..
 

romangod

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2004
Messages
1,069
Reaction score
48
Location
Canada
Demodulate said:
so guys.. I need some moral suppourt..

Okay, you've got it.......................... Now step outside of the Matrix and work on your inner self instead of looking for happiness in a woman or material things. As for your friends, they sound more like acquaintances than true friends. If there's one or two that you can truly call a friend give them a call and hang with them. If your life revolves around women then you'll only end up being disappointed and dizzy. Cheers!
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,106
Reaction score
5,737
Age
48
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Last night she calls to tell me shes getting a boob job, and for some reason I just started being mean to her.. I dont think she needs it.. and shes going to use credit it get them.. rather then wish her well. I just told her she was stupid, then it broke down into an argument.

fwiw, I have learned over the years to never argue with what a woman thinks is a good idea as long as it does not affect me. Women will always do and think things you believe to be stupid, but it's never worth pointing that out. Let them have stupid opinions and do stupid things.

Do you compete in mma or a martial art? Six months ago I started mma and bjj and will enter my first grappling tournament this month and hopefully have my first cage fight this fall. I have found that most women are very impressed with the fighting thing. My current girlfriend gets into it a lot. She is going with me to the tournament. Competition in something at some level gives you a focus that women find attractive.
 

Demodulate

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2003
Messages
265
Reaction score
5
Bible_Belt said:
Last night she calls to tell me shes getting a boob job, and for some reason I just started being mean to her.. I dont think she needs it.. and shes going to use credit it get them.. rather then wish her well. I just told her she was stupid, then it broke down into an argument.

fwiw, I have learned over the years to never argue with what a woman thinks is a good idea as long as it does not affect me. Women will always do and think things you believe to be stupid, but it's never worth pointing that out. Let them have stupid opinions and do stupid things.

Do you compete in mma or a martial art? Six months ago I started mma and bjj and will enter my first grappling tournament this month and hopefully have my first cage fight this fall. I have found that most women are very impressed with the fighting thing. My current girlfriend gets into it a lot. She is going with me to the tournament. Competition in something at some level gives you a focus that women find attractive.
I dont have any aspirations to get into a cage fight.. I started martial arts about a year ago.. my good friend was back from japan and was teaching me a traditional form of Karate.. he had some issues during his last trip to japan, basically his girlfriend / teacher dumped him in the middle of the tournament. he came back bitter with the form, and I had to switch.. started taking kungfu after that, and just recently switched to the MMA gym.. I mostly just take Muay Thai, and have yet to test into the fighter classes.. there is quite a difference from taking kung fu as an art.. and taking thai boxing as a sport.. we did pretty much zero pad work in kung fu and there was a couple week learning curve there, as its almost all pad work now.. I have yet to try BJJ, as the schedule doesnt work for me at the moment.

anyway.. im not training to pull girls..
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,106
Reaction score
5,737
Age
48
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Of course not, me either, but nor am I chasing them away because they like the stuff I do. I'm not saying you have to cage fight, but whatever you are doing, there is a competition in it at some level. It's better to compete and lose than not compete. You still get the passion, focus, drive, discipline, vision, and life away from women that women find attractive. Like fighting, all of that gets women, but still has enough value for other reasons.

It's obvious that you are too picky, but that is only relative to the new stream of women you meet who fit your rigid criteria. I think all women are gold-diggers to some extent, btw, who fits that label is your call, but all women are going to like you at least a little more if you have a little money. Just work harder on what salespeople would call your pipeline of leads, and you can meet a girl who fits stricter standards. You can be picky, but the price is having to work harder.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,502
Reaction score
63
Location
Galt's Gulch
Demodulate said:
I get what your saying.. but what started as working on myself, has degraded into routine.. sometimes I question putting forth the effort to better myself. yesterday I blew off the gym so I could go home and just sit on the couch.. then you start in on the what the hell am I doing with my life questions.. all the woman i have dumped for "shallow" reasons. then the phone call from the girl, and me lashing out cause I am broody..

I probably should have just gone to the gym.
Keep this in mind; a man does not have to be defined by his past actions, what has the most impact on his nature are the choices he makes now which will help define his future. Here's an example, you chose to go home and sit on the couch. How would your mindset changed if you had gone to the gym? If you chose to do something else?
 
Top