text out of the blue!

[drellum]

I met a girl about 6 weeks ago. Had a great night. Lips etc, got her number etc. Contacted her the next day and she says, "Sorry I'm not interested. I'm coming out of a relationship at the moment....But I'll come over and say hello if we see each other passing". I say that's fine, No problem and good luck with the BF probs.

Today she sends a text out of the blue. Quite flirty and we have a bit of banter. I mention again that we should go out and she is still resisting a bit.

Should I leave it again or pursue in a week or so?

She is heading out of the country on holiday in 2 weeks. My inclination is to leave it....any thoughts?

D

 

[IronDJ]

It sounds like she is just texting you for attention, since she assumes you respond. You make it too easy by responding.

I would just move on and ignore her. I've seen this movie before, it ends with the guy being confused and discouraged.

 

[drellum]

It sounds like she is just texting you for attention, since she assumes you respond. You make it too easy by responding.

I would just move on and ignore her. I've seen this movie before, it ends with the guy being confused and discouraged.

There really wasn't anything to move on from.
I got her number and she explained that she had some complications.

It ended before it began.
Now she is showing interest.
I'm surprised she still even had my number.

Do you not think that after 1 text....ignoring and not responding is a bit extreme. I mean we are all trying to pull here.

D

 

[youngmack]

It does not matter..She's just wants attention and nothing is going to happen between you two. I think you should just move on and spin some next plates bro.

 

[Skalioppe]

She's either wanting an ego boost or her current relationship is fvcked and she wants new c0ck. So I'd play my options.

Let her stew for a while then send a short text with a positive / happy energy vibe (because your life, unlike hers is fvcking fantastic) and then make her do something for you (congruence test), e.g. I'm busy as I'm just off to meet someone, (she won't know who and you shouldn't reveal) but give me a call <state a time period> and let's have a chat."

If she doesn't, ignore. When she calls (most likely), tease, neg, fish for IOIs etc. etc., and make sure you are the one who ends the call and preferably after you've made her laugh or complimented her.

 

[IronDJ]

You can always try what Igetit suggests in this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1596861

If you do end up pursuing this, then good luck. I hope that the pattern doesn't repeat, further frustrating you.

 

[PDubb75]

My personal method might not be a popular one, but I'll share it.

I would mention doing something with her. If she gives any response other than a flat out yes, say something along the lines of it was nice meeting her, good luck and goodbye.

Have the mindset that nothing is going to happen. At this point, only see her if she does all of the work to make it happen. Don't give her the satisfaction of being chased. That somewhat rules out the issue of her just looking for attention.

In this case, you either dodge an AW bullet, or you go out with a girl who has obvious interest, as she had to do the work to get the date with you.

 

[\O/]

.

Do you not think that after 1 text....ignoring and not responding is a bit extreme. I mean we are all trying to pull here.

D

Yes, you are correct. I think you should ignore the "next her" advice, although well meant, I think it's too soon. It's weak game to next a girl you really don't even know at the first small bump in the road. Read the last post in Bradd80's thread. It's about conficent persistence. It's a great read.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=196043&page=4

I think you need to keep up the banter, but also try to change the power in the interaction. You need to be a bit more of a challenge now that you've asked her to meet up twice and she has declined both times. Throw in some false disqualifiers to make her wonder. It might be too late as you've already telegraphed alot of interest, but it's worth a shot. You can still turn it around if you do it right and she may very well agree to meet you. Just don't play the texting game for long. Some more banter, disqualify and try to set something up again. If she gives you a third no, you cut contact and leave it at that.

Whilst nexting is a good and healty action, it should not be used too soon. Persist to some degree, THEN next. You will miss out on a lot of girls if you don't. I know i have.

 

[IronDJ]

Yes, you are correct. I think you should ignore the "next her" advice, although well meant, I think it's too soon. It's weak game to next a girl you really don't even know at the first small bump in the road.

Whilst nexting is a good and healty action, it should not be used too soon. Persist to some degree, THEN next. You will miss out on a lot of girls if you don't. I know i have.

He's asked this girl out twice now, and she's resisted both times. This isn't the first bump in the road. If he wants to try to continue, then that's fine. I'll be curious to hear how it goes.

 

[JohnChops]

He's asked this girl out twice now, and she's resisted both times. This isn't the first bump in the road. If he wants to try to continue, then that's fine. I'll be curious to hear how it goes.

She didn't want to hang out twice in a row. She's texting you for attention. Drop her
Now.

 

[seethehoop]

If she is just finished with one guy she wants to feel that she still has options so she is texting you for an ego boost. You may be able to turn this into something but its too early to say. Just be cool, don't chase, maybe even a little active disinterest will help. Make her work for any attention and do not get more involved than she does.

Let's us know how ya get on.

 

[yuppaz]

You don't know if it's an ego boost. She could be ovulating and he came to mind. Pretty stupid to think that EVERYTHING a girl does means she's an attention ***** and you should next, next, next her unless she just comes to yours naked the next day after you meet her....jesus.

OP - just invite her to something chill (no pressure) close to your house and get her turned on then try to bring her home to f*ck her. Rebound girl might wanna f&*k...

 

[\O/]

He's asked this girl out twice now, and she's resisted both times. This isn't the first bump in the road. If he wants to try to continue, then that's fine. I'll be curious to hear how it goes.

First she resisted the next day under the pretense that she just got out of a relationship. Could be buyers remorse, could be a number of reasons why she rejected the request.

Then she re-intitiates contact after 6 weeks. That's interest. Wheater it's just for the attention or lack of other options is irrelevant. She has some degree of interest. At this point i consider the interaction as a reset. It's a brand new game.

OP then claims that after some banter and flirtation she still is "resisting a bit". This can also be a shyttest. It can be several reasons for this. The main thing is that she re-initiated contact and all is not lost. It's too premature to next at this point in my opinion. I have done this plenty. II used to next all girls that didn't show high interest from the get-go. That strategy WILL lose you many girls that you could have turned around with correct and proper game.

I'd say keep up the flirting and feel her out. Then when the interaction is at a high point, you try to close again. If you get a no then atleast you gave it a shot and got a rejection. Always get a rejection. Never reject yourself.

 

[drellum]

Thanks for the replies guys. Interesting.

She definitely IS coming out of a relationship. That's fair enough.
After she clarified that, I backed off instantly.

She contacted me out of the blue to flirt, which I did. I casually dropped in let's go out sometime and left it. There was no yes or no.

I think it's clear from the opinions here, that I should leave it and wait now.

That's what Ill do. I'll keep you updated if she contacts

 

[Zarky]

Frankly, I would have asked her point-blank why she was contacting me, given what she said before. And then I would have amped up the sexuality very quickly to see if she's on-board or not.

 

[Zerro]

I had a girl whom I went on a date with several months earlier but had gotten nowhere with do this, just out of the blue suddenly a message asking what I was up to. She didn't sound happy when I told her I was heading out to do something with my new girl, like she was actually surprised that I wasn't still available after all that time.

In my case I didn't try to play it as I don't need another plate right now, but in case she really is interested again you don't want to just brush her off. Just be aware that she may simply be attention-whoring at the moment and don't get your hopes up.

 

[drellum]

she leaves for a holiday in 2. I sense she might text again just prior to leaving or just after returning.

To be honest, I'm not too bothered either way. I'm not even too sure i can remember what she looks like :-D

D