Caravaggio
Don Juan
So when I was closing work last Saturday Afternoon, I had the entertaining fortune of meeting this girl who had missed office hours by five minutes. After a meet and greet I got her to come over to my pad for a tarot reading.
A couple beers later and with a bit of persistence she was jerking me and I was choking her as I bit her nipples..... And then tried to avoid slut status by taking my number and ducking out with the agreement that we'd see each other on Tuesday night. Complete with kinky texts for the rest of Saturday.
I went back to my life and started receiving texts from her on Monday when she knew we would both be at school. We met at the student center and chatted briefly and made physical contact but I avoided the kiss she was looking for as I personally find PDA unnecessary, which I've always noticed does a number on their hamster wheel anyways.
Later that night I get a text from her asking some logistical questions about getting her ID back as she had left it at my work that afternoon. Essentially she was hoping I could hold it for her till after she got off work.
Since I work for the government I knew protocol wouldn't allow this unless she posed as my girlfriend. AND SH#T GOT INTERESTING. I've done my best to faithfully re-post these texts as I wanna know what the **** just happened.
So here goes:
Her: But you aren't! You make this sound so complicated
Me: No, Im not your boyfriend. Itd probably work tho
Her: Haha you think?
Me: Sure. Supervisor and I are tight. If you knew to talk to her it would be credible enough to skirt protocol
Her: Ok. But are you sure you'll hold it for me even if I tell you there's no way I'm having sex with you tommorow?
Me: Please I'm more worried youll be some clingy stalker. I offered you an option
Her: No. I wont be.
Me: You know what my intentions are
Her: What
Me: Must I spell it out?
Her: Sex
Me: Is how relationships start
Her: Ya, but I just know I won't do it tomorrow. So Im telling you now so you still can get some birthday sex elsewhere
Me: Calling me a player?
Her: Ya well you did try very hard the first night I met you
Me: And if I can get that far with you... who else do I do this to, right?
And thats it for the night. The next eveing it's my Birthday and I'm bored and miffed cause I planned to destroy a freshman, (a personal for my college slucket list,) so I try a different angle.
Me: So, shall we just hang out?
Her: You still want to?
Me: I dig your personality, we could take things slower. As long as I'm not being strung along I'm cool with it
(Then she wrote me this essay: sorry for the lengthiness but here is where I'm really asking for an analysis.)
Her: Ya I dig yours too. And I enjoyed hanging out with you very much. But even tho I'm single, there is someone I've started things with and I am seeing so I don't exactly want to string along either of you. They don't live here but I still feel like I need to not be such a bad girl like I was on Saturday. Even tho I desperately want to you to **** me, I probably shouldn't go there.
Her: But! I for sure would want to hang out. Happy Birthday btw
Me: Suit yourself. If you carried yourself like you were in a relationship I wouldn't have even made a move. Friends with romantic interests is a game, and you know it. I decline
Her: I'm not, but alright. I respect that.
Me: My point exactly
Her: What is your point?
Me: Your not taken and its your call
Her: I have jest been declined lol and I guess I won the bet
(we made a kink wager based on who would win the election)
Me: Its a shame too cause I was wondering what twisted deed you were going to demand
Her: Hmm too bad I suppose. I doubt it was a twisted a yours though
Me: I planned to override yours anyways. Make you scream to the gods of sex for every wet minute of it.
Her: That frustrates me.
Me: Like I said its your call
Her: Hmm well as long as you're not bothered by me not having an orgasm. I've never had one during sex
Me: Thats a shame I'll see what I can do
Her: Nah I'm ok with it. Ive tried everything lol
Me: Not me
Her: True. But there's no much else I could try
Me: Fine I guess Ill just choke you. Come over
Her: I'm in bed. Thats very tempting tho
Me: Its alright you can use mine
Her: Why you wait so long?! I'm going to bed now
Me: Whatever, get over here
Thats the end of it. No she didn't come over. I've been busy and I got plans for some of this weekend so I haven't tried to re-engage.
This was a strange one. I normally pick up 23-26 year olds and I'm 29, and I've never dealt with this. I wager its because of her age and SMV.
In retrospect I probably could've pushed her to come over sooner and still hit it.
I don't feel like I conceded my frame here but I obviously didn't get laid.
Any advice on how to restart this in a few days?
Critique in general?
I thought about opening with arsehole game, but it wouldn't be congruent with this pick up.
Any advice is welcome!
-Caravaggio
A couple beers later and with a bit of persistence she was jerking me and I was choking her as I bit her nipples..... And then tried to avoid slut status by taking my number and ducking out with the agreement that we'd see each other on Tuesday night. Complete with kinky texts for the rest of Saturday.
I went back to my life and started receiving texts from her on Monday when she knew we would both be at school. We met at the student center and chatted briefly and made physical contact but I avoided the kiss she was looking for as I personally find PDA unnecessary, which I've always noticed does a number on their hamster wheel anyways.
Later that night I get a text from her asking some logistical questions about getting her ID back as she had left it at my work that afternoon. Essentially she was hoping I could hold it for her till after she got off work.
Since I work for the government I knew protocol wouldn't allow this unless she posed as my girlfriend. AND SH#T GOT INTERESTING. I've done my best to faithfully re-post these texts as I wanna know what the **** just happened.
So here goes:
Her: But you aren't! You make this sound so complicated
Me: No, Im not your boyfriend. Itd probably work tho
Her: Haha you think?
Me: Sure. Supervisor and I are tight. If you knew to talk to her it would be credible enough to skirt protocol
Her: Ok. But are you sure you'll hold it for me even if I tell you there's no way I'm having sex with you tommorow?
Me: Please I'm more worried youll be some clingy stalker. I offered you an option
Her: No. I wont be.
Me: You know what my intentions are
Her: What
Me: Must I spell it out?
Her: Sex
Me: Is how relationships start
Her: Ya, but I just know I won't do it tomorrow. So Im telling you now so you still can get some birthday sex elsewhere
Me: Calling me a player?
Her: Ya well you did try very hard the first night I met you
Me: And if I can get that far with you... who else do I do this to, right?
And thats it for the night. The next eveing it's my Birthday and I'm bored and miffed cause I planned to destroy a freshman, (a personal for my college slucket list,) so I try a different angle.
Me: So, shall we just hang out?
Her: You still want to?
Me: I dig your personality, we could take things slower. As long as I'm not being strung along I'm cool with it
(Then she wrote me this essay: sorry for the lengthiness but here is where I'm really asking for an analysis.)
Her: Ya I dig yours too. And I enjoyed hanging out with you very much. But even tho I'm single, there is someone I've started things with and I am seeing so I don't exactly want to string along either of you. They don't live here but I still feel like I need to not be such a bad girl like I was on Saturday. Even tho I desperately want to you to **** me, I probably shouldn't go there.
Her: But! I for sure would want to hang out. Happy Birthday btw
Me: Suit yourself. If you carried yourself like you were in a relationship I wouldn't have even made a move. Friends with romantic interests is a game, and you know it. I decline
Her: I'm not, but alright. I respect that.
Me: My point exactly
Her: What is your point?
Me: Your not taken and its your call
Her: I have jest been declined lol and I guess I won the bet
(we made a kink wager based on who would win the election)
Me: Its a shame too cause I was wondering what twisted deed you were going to demand
Her: Hmm too bad I suppose. I doubt it was a twisted a yours though
Me: I planned to override yours anyways. Make you scream to the gods of sex for every wet minute of it.
Her: That frustrates me.
Me: Like I said its your call
Her: Hmm well as long as you're not bothered by me not having an orgasm. I've never had one during sex
Me: Thats a shame I'll see what I can do
Her: Nah I'm ok with it. Ive tried everything lol
Me: Not me
Her: True. But there's no much else I could try
Me: Fine I guess Ill just choke you. Come over
Her: I'm in bed. Thats very tempting tho
Me: Its alright you can use mine
Her: Why you wait so long?! I'm going to bed now
Me: Whatever, get over here
Thats the end of it. No she didn't come over. I've been busy and I got plans for some of this weekend so I haven't tried to re-engage.
This was a strange one. I normally pick up 23-26 year olds and I'm 29, and I've never dealt with this. I wager its because of her age and SMV.
In retrospect I probably could've pushed her to come over sooner and still hit it.
I don't feel like I conceded my frame here but I obviously didn't get laid.
Any advice on how to restart this in a few days?
Critique in general?
I thought about opening with arsehole game, but it wouldn't be congruent with this pick up.
Any advice is welcome!
-Caravaggio
