**** tests and disrespect? Best move?

[Leaf]

I've been getting that from a few girls lately. Some friends, some of romantic interest.

As I'm a photographer, the latest needed my help with a present for an aging family member. Although not as much an AFC anymore, I thought why not. She loved the photoes. Thing is that night in a conversation out of nowhere, she bought up another photographer comparing my work to his and how his she preferred.

To me that was an obvious **** test/ stirring because it was just out of no where. Now I'm not the wittiest so I couldn't think of a good come back. Instead I feined interest continued chilling then disappeared to my room when it didn't seem like I purposely did/ was offended.

So whats the best course of actions in this case? Normally I go the soft no contact; withdrawing attention unless required but I feel girls can probably smell this as simply knowing they've got a reaction out of you?

Cheers.

 

[Serenity]

So whats the best course of actions in this case? Normally I go the soft no contact; withdrawing attention unless required but I feel girls can probably smell this as simply knowing they've got a reaction out of you?

Cheers.

Withdraw attention, don't keep contact with people who disrespect you. It doesn't matter what they think about you, the point is that you wouldn't want anything to do with them. Unless you're just playing games by withdrawing and secretly hoping they turn around, don't play stupid games like that. Don't waste YOUR time thinking about them, let them waste THEIR time thinking about you if that's what they do.

On the other side you could have handled it better in the situation, if your ego wasn't in the way. You could have asked what it is about his photos she thinks is better, you may have learned something from it. Also if many women seem to disrespect you the chances are that there's something about you rather than them. This hardly seem like disrespect though, it's just photographs, I think your ego may be a bit too big.

 

[bigneil]

There is nothing wrong with ending relationships with women we love. It gives us a chance for a fresh start.

For example, let's say you started dating a girl who thinks of you as an 8 but you think she's a 9. And over time you are working out, going (in her eyes) 8.1, 8.2, 8.3... but she still thinks of you as that guy who is 1 points below her. Plus you will build up some bad memories over time that will knock you down half a point, so she sees you as a (8.3 - .5)= 7.8, more than a point below.

So, when she doesn't treat you right (i.e., you sense she thinks of other guys as an 8.8), you walk away and end things on your terms. Then she doesn't see you as you keep improving, going 8.7, 8.8, 8.9... and she misses you and forgets all the bad memories of you. Plus there is nostalgia (a + .5 effect), so when she sees you again you are a (9.0 + .5) = 9.5 in her eyes, up from 7.8. As a bonus, since you're hotter than you were when you picked her up, you also pick up a 9.5 who makes her jealous to boot. That's when you have a good shot at great makeup sex, and the chance to reset the terms of the relationship (who has the upper hand).

Relationship Reboot *.

(* only works if you are 100% non-jealous, willing to end it, willing to work hard at improving, and can set her 100% free and wait until she comes back).

Many of you have unwittingly pulled this off in the past.

 

[bigneil]

Unless you're just playing games by withdrawing and secretly hoping they turn around, don't play stupid games like that.

First, my approach is about standing your ground and improving until you overwhelm her, but we obviously secretly hope they turn around.

But I love how people are here to study the psychology of dating but say "I don't want to play games". Games = mind games = psychological tactics for seduction.

Seduction IS mind games.

Game (as the name suggests) is about using mind games, which are about control.

Eventually a man gives in and realizes that having control over something trumps having pride in nothing.

 

[wifehunter]

She's testing to see if you're a real man who can handle an insult, and a dissagreement.

How you react, is crucial to your level of attractiveness!

The best way to react is nothing/silence, like water off a ducks back.

 

[sazc]

She insulted you directly to your face when you were doing a favor for her. That is so disrespectful. idk if I would even finish the job for her. I would definitely cut all ties to her. You dont need acquaintances like that.

 

[wifehunter]

She insulted you directly to your face when you were doing a favor for her. That is so disrespectful. idk if I would even finish the job for her. I would definitely cut all ties to her. You dont need acquaintances like that.

Yes, red flag.

 

[Serenity]

First, my approach is about standing your ground and improving until you overwhelm her, but we obviously secretly hope they turn around.

But I love how people are here to study the psychology of dating but say "I don't want to play games". Games = mind games = psychological tactics for seduction.

Seduction IS mind games.

Game (as the name suggests) is about using mind games, which are about control.

Eventually a man gives in and realizes that having control over something trumps having pride in nothing.

I used to hope they turned around, but eventually I just started moving on. I gave up on control and the games became tiring and complicating, I like it simple and clean. It's not the type of games I participate in. I can tease and such, but when it becomes malicious and too serious I draw the line.

Keeping my life simple and enjoyable trumps trying to control. If people step over boundaries I freeze them out and go about doing better things.

I don't do that hoping they come back, I have zero expectation of that. It's not a seduction technique or game for me, it's for my own good to keep life light. I'm "allergic" to drama.

Bottom line, game is fine up to the point where some might get hurt by it.

 

[bigneil]

I used to hope they turned around, but eventually I just started moving on.
Bottom line, game is fine up to the point where some might get hurt by it.

Moving on feels great. Nothing is more inspirational. For example, my dream girl didn't leave the me that exists today. She left the me who I was 8 weeks ago, but I lost 10 lb since then, and got a promotion at work, and a new model to photograph, and got back in the game (I got rusty).

You have to enjoy the pain as much as the pleasure - they both come together, just like if you splash in a bucket of water, the waves are higher in some areas and proportionally lower in other areas. You want to make a big splash and feel it all.

The alternative is nothingness. The color gray.

"Losing all the highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?"
-Glenn Frey

 

[sazc]

I used to hope they turned around, but eventually I just started moving on. I gave up on control and the games became tiring and complicating, I like it simple and clean. It's not the type of games I participate in. I can tease and such, but when it becomes malicious and too serious I draw the line.

Keeping my life simple and enjoyable trumps trying to control. If people step over boundaries I freeze them out and go about doing better things.

I don't do that hoping they come back, I have zero expectation of that. It's not a seduction technique or game for me, it's for my own good to keep life light. I'm "allergic" to drama.

Bottom line, game is fine up to the point where some might get hurt by it.

I call this having standards. I dont do games either. I can always see when the other person is attempting to insert some games into our dialogue/interaction. I ignore. I remain non reactive and stick to being me. I figure the person has to like who I am, without all the unnecessary BS. If they need games to feel good, I am not the one for them.

It's pretty amazing how, once you decide not to invest in the games, you become passive about it all.

 

[soulforge]

There is nothing wrong with ending relationships with women we love. It gives us a chance for a fresh start.

For example, let's say you started dating a girl who thinks of you as an 8 but you think she's a 9. And over time you are working out, going (in her eyes) 8.1, 8.2, 8.3... but she still thinks of you as that guy who is 1 points below her. Plus you will build up some bad memories over time that will knock you down half a point, so she sees you as a (8.3 - .5)= 7.8, more than a point below.

So, when she doesn't treat you right (i.e., you sense she thinks of other guys as an 8.8), you walk away and end things on your terms. Then she doesn't see you as you keep improving, going 8.7, 8.8, 8.9... and she misses you and forgets all the bad memories of you. Plus there is nostalgia (a + .5 effect), so when she sees you again you are a (9.0 + .5) = 9.5 in her eyes, up from 7.8. As a bonus, since you're hotter than you were when you picked her up, you also pick up a 9.5 who makes her jealous to boot. That's when you have a good shot at great makeup sex, and the chance to reset the terms of the relationship (who has the upper hand).

Relationship Reboot *.

(* only works if you are 100% non-jealous, willing to end it, willing to work hard at improving, and can set her 100% free and wait until she comes back).

Many of you have unwittingly pulled this off in the past.

But seriously man, would you really give a chick who believed you where like the chit on her shoes and so beneath her another chance?

Yes you can improve yourself.. but this chick is not willing to accept you for who you are, but you would improve yourself and go back?

Imagine, you make massive impovemants, and you get back with the chick the treated you like chit... you enter into a relationship with her again..

Some years down the line, you lose your job, no fault of your own.. or someone close to you dies, and you hit some serious depression

You get ill, and physically you don't look so good anymore, and put a bunch of weight on...

Is that chick still gona hang around, the one who thought you where not worth chit..

 

[soulforge]

She's testing to see if you're a real man who can handle an insult, and a dissagreement.

How you react, is crucial to your level of attractiveness!

The best way to react is nothing/silence, like water off a ducks back.

I do not understand this chit... the guy gets disrespected when helping her out...

And you say... do NOTHING say NOTHING

What if she gets the impression that this man is spineless, and putting him down is a perfectly fine thing to do.

 

[bigneil]

But seriously man, would you really give a chick who believed you where like the chit on her shoes and so beneath her another chance?

Yes you can improve yourself.. but this chick is not willing to accept you for who you are, but you would improve yourself and go back?

I improve myself to improve myself, not to go back. That's for all women, and myself, not her.

Who says the real me was good enough for (IMO, even in the bitter end) the most beautiful girl in the world, 25 years my junior? I might need to hit the gym.

I'm sorry, are you believing your mom, or some song sung by a cutesy black woman raised in Section 8 housing about how you are perfect just the way you are?

 

[soulforge]

I improve myself to improve myself, not to go back. That's for all women, and myself, not her.

Who says the real me was good enough for (IMO, even in the bitter end) the most beautiful girl in the world, 25 years my junior? I might need to hit the gym.

I'm sorry, are you believing your mom, or some song sung by a cutesy black woman raised in Section 8 housing about how you are perfect just the way you are?

I am not perfect the way i am... off course not, but if a chick treated my poorly, because she felt she was better than me, or I below her value wise..

Once i have improved myself, i would not go back this girl for her approval..

It's always a possibility those improvements can be lost again... ie health problems.. financial crisis..

That girl could quite easily look down upon you, all over again

 

[wifehunter]

I do not understand this chit... the guy gets disrespected when helping her out...

And you say... do NOTHING say NOTHING

What if she gets the impression that this man is spineless, and putting him down is a perfectly fine thing to do.

If she continues to walk all over you...walk. Low quality women are a dime a dozen.

 

[bigneil]

I am not perfect the way i am... off course not, but if a chick treated my poorly, because she felt she was better than me, or I below her value wise..

Her not committing to you for life (just because you had sex) is not "treating you poorly".

Half the guys here confuse sexual intercourse with marriage.

This is why we always let them reach out and only respond (except for the early seduction phase of the first 1-3 months).