telling her my intentions

emmet1

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hey everybody!
so it goes like that- i'm talking to this girl which i like and find very cute, we've known each other for a long time and now i find something in her.
we have gotten very close in the past two weeks, flirting all the time and setting up dates(which i couldn't go to once and she did once).
anyway, a few days ago i told her that by the end of the month she's mine, she gladly accepted and even said "good luck ;)"
i told her that i want to take it slow and just have fun with her for now.
now there a more issues such as a "friend" who i never trust since he's one of those guys who sees a girl and thinks to himself "friends? what friends?" and he knows i have a thing for her,still he tries to hit on her with commenting on every photo she has on Facebook(i'm 18, go figure)with an ass-licking comment and doing so in private conversations too( a quote she sent me by him-"if you had green eyes you would have been perfect for me, hell you're perfect enough right now" obviously she likes being complimented, i don't feel like he's a threat to me but still it bothers me.
and another issue, suddenly she expects me to make all the moves (so it seems), sending her messages all the time and asking her out.
so my question is, should i change tactics? or do something with the dude?
 
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perseverance

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1. Don't tell her, show her! There are two types of men in this World, there are does who do and those who don't. People who show, do! People who talk, often do not.

2. This friend obviously isn't your friend, but you should always welcome competition. Competition brings out the very best in people and sometimes the worst, so relish it. It would appear you have some insecurity issues, some controlling issues here. This girl knows you like her, as you have shown and told her you do! She is using this other guy to try and get a reaction out of you, why else would she send you a sampling of the exchange between her and your 'friend'? Your best bet is to distance yourself from this fella. Focus on what you do and not what someone else is doing. Don't take your eye off the ball and if she mentions your 'friend' in conversation, do not react. Giving off a reaction, especially a negative one will reflect poorly on you.

3. She would expect you to make all of the moves. In the modern era it still the man's job, your job to make the moves and lead, if you aren't prepared to lead, then she'll meet someone else who will.

So, your best bet is to speak less, act more. Lead more and not pay a blind bit of attention to your 'friend'. If he gets the girl, then fair do's, it's no reflection on you. Just don't be sending stuff like this '"if you had green eyes you would have been perfect for me, hell you're perfect enough right now" - I felt nauseous reading that. And remember to have fun, loosen up and roll with the punches. Don't be outcome dependent, so if the ship does sink, you're not sinking with it.
 

emmet1

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1. of course!

2.hell i even encouraged him, he told me he liked her and i said well than go for it and may the best man win

3. got it! but the thing is, if i was the one who always started the conversation, wouldnt that make me less of a challenge?

and yeah i do have some insecurity issues, but i'm working on it, so for now i'm just not showing it :)
 

Gro0ver

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Strike while the iron is hot! Don't be concerned about this "friend", you are much better, but you should make a move soon or you'll lose the opportunity.

Hook up the date, but keep an open mind and don't forget to spin more plates in the meantime :up: the key is not to be pushy or desperate but be confident and self-assured.
 
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