Telling girlfriend I don't want kids

[SW15]

Most women after 27 want kids. They might say otherwise to not scare men but thought is there.

This is an important point to make. Even in more recent times, I've seen examples of this.

If a woman is 27-39 years old, has a college degree/decent job, and doesn't have kids, she won't abort if there's an unintended pregnancy. It's important for men to be very careful when having sex with women who fall into the description above. These woman won't abort because they think that this is their only chance to have a child. Even the 27-31 year olds start to wonder about this, but this becomes more pressing if you're having sex with a 32-39 year old woman who has even the slightest interest in children. While most of these women will be proponents of legal abortion for other women, they typically won't have an abortion themselves.

For women 27-39 that don't have a college degree and are childless, they are a little bit more difficult to predict. First off, this isn't a common category in the United States. Women who don't get bachelor's degrees tend to get married earlier in life and/or have children earlier in life. If you're a guy out there and you are meeting a 30-35 year unmarried woman with a high school diploma or associate level degree, she's likely already a single mom. She may or may not have a decent job.

In case you want kids:
- Are your finances in order?
- Are you ready for a sexless life? The baby will take the life out of her tits and she will lose interest in sex.
- Majority of women don't go back in shape.
- 2 years without proper sleep.

These questions are good to ask. These have been my answers...

1. - Are your finances in order?

My finances have not been in order. Because I finished my master's level degree in 2008, I had an extremely difficult post graduation job search that led to me taking substandard jobs in the immediate aftermath of 2008 in order to have some income. My career trajectory was set back 5-10 years by the events of The Great Recession. I'm still feeling the effects of it today. 2008 and its lasting impact are a part of why I don't have kids today. This has been true for many people born in the 1980s who graduated into the aftermath of 2008.

2. Are you ready for a sexless life? The baby will take the life out of her tits and she will lose interest in sex.

No, I am not ready for a sexless life. Most men severely underestimate this. This is what leads men into paying directly for sex or having affairs.

3. Majority of women don't go back in shape.

Men are still interested in sex after babies. Here are their most common options.

-Sex with the mother of their child, who may or may not be physically appealing
-Paying directly for sex
-Having an affair

There are issues with all of these choices.

4. 2 years without proper sleep.

2 years is a minimum. A lot of guys end up having sex again with the mothers of their children due to their thirst for sex, regardless of her post baby body. This often leads to 2nd children born somewhere between 2-5 years after the first child. A man may go 2 years without proper sleep, finally start to get more sleep, then do it again for another 2 years. That's 4 years in a 5 year period of poor sleep. Or some men go 4-5 consecutive years without good sleep. Second and third children start the whole process over again.

 

[Epicwinguy]

I have it, its reversible and there are clinics with 99% success rate if its earlier than 10 years. Is it over for VasectomyCels?

The whole "women can sense if you've had a vasectomy and that's not alpha" is just bull**** bro science.

 

[sangheilios]

This is a tough spot to be in. As has been mentioned by the other posters on here, when women start approaching 30 or cross it many of them start feeling their biological clock ticking and are looking to lock down a man and have children in the near future. This is an entirely natural phenomenon, especially for women over 30, as their window to have children is rapidly closing.

This is something you really need to decide for yourself. If you truly believe you don't want children and will not have that sentiment change at all, you should be totally upfront with this woman and let her move on to find what she is looking for somewhere else. However, I think you should really do some reflection before deciding to do this.

As others have mentioned, if you decide to let her move on you it is going to be increasingly difficult for you to land women and keep them around for any length of time. One, as you get older it will be more difficult to land women that are in their mid 20s or earlier, an age where they don't feel the clock ticking. You'll also find that most of the women that are reasonably in your dating age range will still be in a position where they desperately are looking for children and to get locked down. However, I'd also add a caveat to this. If a woman is single and childless at 30 or later there is a reason for this and I'd be a bit cautious. It's not hard for even unattractive women to land a relationship with a man so I'd be a bit wary. One of the first things that comes to mind is career women (dentist, vet, etc.). There's nothing necessarily wrong with this, it may even be a good fit for certain men, but it may not be what you are looking for.

There's a high probability that your dating pool will be limited to women that are either divorced and/or single mothers, both of which come with their own set of issues. I feel one of the biggest issues for men dating single mothers is that they will naturally come second to their children. Once a woman has children they become her priority, as they should be, and this goes for both the father of her children or any man they are dating. For the actual father of the children, this is a natural place to be in and he also would want what is best for them. However, when you get a man involved that is not the father it will put him in a strange place that I really don't feel is natural and one that can lead to some animosity and jealousy.

I'd think long and hard over this. You may well have a quality woman and the worst case scenario is you let her go and regret missing out on this opportunity down the road, especially when there is a high probability of you being limited to single mothers or being totally out of the loop all together. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more common for men in their early 30s, where most of the good quality women are already taken and you are left with just the scraps.

I hope you consider everything I have mentioned.

 

[SW15]

if you decide to let her move on you it is going to be increasingly difficult for you to land women and keep them around for any length of time. One, as you get older it will be more difficult to land women that are in their mid 20s or earlier, an age where they don't feel the clock ticking. You'll also find that most of the women that are reasonably in your dating age range will still be in a position where they desperately are looking for children and to get locked down.

Right now, @andy87 is still young enough to get a 21-26 year old, but that's expiring fast. The more of an age gap you want, the more money you'll need as a 35+ guy in order to do it, especially if you have a limited to non-existent social circle.

There's a reason the typical 30 something male is a vagina beggar who ends up settling for whatever woman close to his own age he can get. In a way, this is a settling for a male, because if he had been able to lock down a woman close to his own age at 25, he would have gotten a better deal. Of course, a lot of relationships have a shelf life of goodness of about 5 years, so a relationship with a 23 year old woman formed at a man's age 25 isn't likely to be good when the woman is 33 and the man is 35. At best, it is mediocre and often subpar and that's if it actually lasts that long.

If a woman is single and childless at 30 or later there is a reason for this and I'd be a bit cautious. It's not hard for even unattractive women to land a relationship with a man so I'd be a bit wary. One of the first things that comes to mind is career women (dentist, vet, etc.). There's nothing necessarily wrong with this, it may even be a good fit for certain men, but it may not be what you are looking for.

The Three Types of Women - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones In our last post we talked about the three types of men. Now let’s talk about women. Women are quite different than men, obviously. Sometimes the term “Alpha woman” is thrown around, but it’s not quite accurate. Instead, a woman is either a...

alphamale20.com

The most common pairing in the United States is a Dominant woman with a beta male. These Dominants are often careerists.

There are some dating pool issues after age 30.

There's a high probability that your dating pool will be limited to women that are either divorced and/or single mothers, both of which come with their own set of issues. I feel one of the biggest issues for men dating single mothers is that they will naturally come second to their children. Once a woman has children they become her priority, as they should be, and this goes for both the father of her children or any man they are dating. For the actual father of the children, this is a natural place to be in and he also would want what is best for them. However, when you get a man involved that is not the father it will put him in a strange place that I really don't feel is natural and one that can lead to some animosity and jealousy.

Married men have problems playing second fiddle to their own children, but they are at least able to cope well with it since the child is their own. A childless male is a terrible fit for a single mom. A childless man is less equipped to deal with playing second fiddle to a child that isn't his own, and even some single dads with kids with a different woman would struggle in dating a single mom.

I would not be able to have a serious relationship with a single mom at this point in my life as a childless man. I don't anticipate this changing as I age either.

If a man 30+ is able to get a similarly aged girlfriend without kids, she'll likely have 2+ dogs, or 2+ cats. In that case, many times he'd end up playing second fiddle to the dog or cat.

I'd think long and hard over this. You may well have a quality woman and the worst case scenario is you let her go and regret missing out on this opportunity down the road, especially when there is a high probability of you being limited to single mothers or being totally out of the loop all together. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more common for men in their early 30s, where most of the good quality women are already taken and you are left with just the scraps.

Most single men age 30+ don't offer enough to consistently attract women 7+ years younger, which is why they end up dealing with scraps close to their own ages. This is not a fun experience as one's 30s go on.

 

[Young OG]

A vasectomy makes it more difficult to market yourself to women for longer term arrangments.

Men who get vasectomies are often married beta males in long term relationships with a wife who had her 2+ children and doesn't want any more. If the marriage falls apart, these beta males are in a tougher spot if they are semi-young when they divorce

Not always true. I’m 40 and I had a vasectomy done in my late 30s. I have a 13 yr old and I do not want to father more children. I do not pay child support and I never will. I also do not care about long term arrangements.