Telling an HB9..that we should take a break from things?

[gimmeyofonenumba]

A girl I've been dating. She lives in my old-town, a few hrs away. We've slept together many times, she used to compliment, rave about the sex,etc...she's been loosing interest lately, even though we have another trip planned. I think,perhaps the best way to get her interest level back up, and really for perhaps the best of both parties, would perhaps tell her in a very pleasant way that I'd like to take a break now and try this out in a few months(she'll be moving in a year, but she's not sure where). I dont want her to feel rejected, thats not the point. My goal is to get out of this funk of caring for her so much. However, I'm confident that if we re-visit the dating idea later in the future, I can get her to get all giddy for me like she was in the begining. Oppinions?

 

[nightcrawler]

have sex with her, THEN break up with her via text saying it's not her it's you and need some time apart.

 

[nismo-4]

A girl I've been dating. She lives in my old-town, a few hrs away. We've slept together many times, she used to compliment, rave about the sex,etc...she's been loosing interest lately, even though we have another trip planned. I think,perhaps the best way to get her interest level back up, and really for perhaps the best of both parties, would perhaps tell her in a very pleasant way that I'd like to take a break now and try this out in a few months(she'll be moving in a year, but she's not sure where). I dont want her to feel rejected, thats not the point. My goal is to get out of this funk of caring for her so much. However, I'm confident that if we re-visit the dating idea later in the future, I can get her to get all giddy for me like she was in the begining. Oppinions?

Is this old town Rome, Macon, or something like that?

If you want to break up with her, just do it! Do you really think she's gonna be hurt? Hell no. She'll be caked up with another man within 24 hours and forget she ever had you. Be sure you have another woman lined up or use this HB9 to help you meet your next girl.

Interest needs to be rebuilt over time. Assuming you're not famous (congrats if you are), you should always spin more plates and meet new women.

Case closed.

 

[BadNews]

You want to break up with her to raise her interest level? Something is wrong here. There are FAR more effective ways to raise her interest level...this is a HORRIBLE idea in my opinion. Pull back a bit...give her a little more space..try to find other creative ways to raise interest level.

Breaking up with her to INCREASE interest level is possibly the most retarded idea I have heard in a while. Best of luck, let us know how it turns out.

 

[mahoney]

problem with most of the threads on here is that the dudes come across not just as needy but also as kind of boring

then they try go non-contact to raise the interest level, but they never addressed the boring issue

a pretty good way to raise an interest level is...to be more interesting!

 

[runner83]

Is this old town Rome, Macon, or something like that?

If you want to break up with her, just do it! Do you really think she's gonna be hurt? Hell no. She'll be caked up with another man within 24 hours and forget she ever had you. Be sure you have another woman lined up or use this HB9 to help you meet your next girl.

Interest needs to be rebuilt over time. Assuming you're not famous (congrats if you are), you should always spin more plates and meet new women.

Case closed.

This about sums it up. If it's a HB9 (in reality she's probably a HB7 due to familiarity bias by the OP), she won't give a fvck and she'll have another d!ck inside her within 24 hours.

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

she' a hb9, I have pics if necessary. However, that is irrelevant. Good pointers here. I'm just gonna go No contact for a while, and move on. I'm not worried about her getting fvcked by another guy. Im worried that if I was to let her go for a while, she'll get back into a relationship very quickly, which will only make things more difficult. I'll go no contact, let her squander around.

 

[scrouds]

I think there's an interesting male-female dynamic that needs to be discussed. You as a prototypical male needs to have a final disposition. Change the status of your relationship.

That's natural, but more ambiguous stuff like the no contact / being distant stuff actually plays better to the female psyche.

But I think you hit the nail on the head, you care too much. You do need to fix that underlying imbalance somehow. Whether its through a continual application of games like no contact, or through more subtle actions, it needs to be addressed.

 

[Mr. Goods]

Is this old town Rome, Macon, or something like that?

If you want to break up with her, just do it! Do you really think she's gonna be hurt? Hell no. She'll be caked up with another man within 24 hours and forget she ever had you. Be sure you have another woman lined up or use this HB9 to help you meet your next girl.

Interest needs to be rebuilt over time. Assuming you're not famous (congrats if you are), you should always spin more plates and meet new women.

Case closed.

I'm with the courts here. The only concurring opinion I will say: 24 hours is sometimes a little extreme, but the point Nismo is making is correct. She'll be able to move on quickly enough. Spinning more plates is easier said than done, but the idea, again, correct. The point would be to focus on other women.

Go with what your heart tells you to do. Just don't break up over text.

 

[BlackMack177]

I'm surprised at the amount of awful advise in this topic. Reminds me of why I stopped coming here for so long. So much apparant bitterness and insecurity...

First off. I'm no expert, but you guys seem to be jumping to conclusions.

Is this chick your girl?? If yes then breaking up with her just to increase her interest is the stupidest thing you could do. Why not just....oh I don't know... be more interesting like the above posters said?? Are you so boring that you have to reduce yourself to playing stupid games to keep a girl's attention? Of course if you're just seeing her, then spin more plates and don't put so much stock into her feelings. You guys concern yourselves waaay to much with female mood swings. do you honestly expect a chick to be a complete robot and do the same things over and over every day? people change all the damn time, maybe you and her are just not changing in the same ways

But before jumping to conclusions. how do you know her interest is fading?? and change in behavior? she didn't orgasm during sex? what happened??

but regardless, with girls and people in general, moods are never constant. You have to roll with the punches. I've have chicks seemingly go cold on me for a while. but I just kept it cool and sure enough they were back in my bed the next week. Just kept it cool man. You should be confident enough in your flyness to fvck a b1tch if she strays away from you. Don't pull any stupid break up games. That's a b1tch chick move. crazy insecure females do that type of sh1t. not men

Only break up if that's what you really want to do. NOT to play stupid games

 

[neghitzbrah]

Is this chick your girl?? If yes then breaking up with her just to increase her interest is the stupidest thing you could do. Why not just....oh I don't know... be more interesting like the above posters said??

I agree. You guys have a trip planned. A fun one I hope. That should bring it up. If she can create memories from it (good memories) then her IL should naturally go up. If all else fails, I would go with NC -- isn't that the same as breaking up though? If you're not feeling her then it should end anyway.

You sound confident that you will get another HB9. But you opening this thread makes you come off as if you can't.

 

[BadNews]

If you're trying to raise interest level...going NC or breaking up is taking things to the extreme. There are far more effective (read: less destructive/harmful) ways to raise interest level. A healthy amount of push/pull - if you actually want to continue some sort of relationship with her - will be more effective than going NC. Complete no contact is too extreme for the effect you're trying to produce. Do some push/pull, and find more creative ways to be INTERESTING/FUN and you'll yield much better results. Playing games isn't going to get you what you want out of this situation.

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

If you're trying to raise interest level...going NC or breaking up is taking things to the extreme. There are far more effective (read: less destructive/harmful) ways to raise interest level. A healthy amount of push/pull - if you actually want to continue some sort of relationship with her - will be more effective than going NC. Complete no contact is too extreme for the effect you're trying to produce. Do some push/pull, and find more creative ways to be INTERESTING/FUN and you'll yield much better results. Playing games isn't going to get you what you want out of this situation.

He already tried this son. It didn't work. She already pulled away. Time for a new approach. Don't invest your valuable time with a female that doesn't give you the same amount of time or more. You are just fighting an up hill battle. When women pull away it is very difficult to spark the same affection she once had for you. If it comes back it will quickly go away just as fast. It is always better to be starting a new fresh relationship with new interest than trying to get new interest in an old relationship where the flame is about to be extinguished.