Damn, so many the past 5 years since being 100% single. Many "bad date" stories that are hilarious but this one is my crowning achievement:
Set up a profile on SA a few years back. Had some fun with it, mainly horny girls looking for ONS, most less than half my age. In my profile I say my age range is 25-35 as any younger and they're just too immature. I get this message from a HB9.999 18 year old chick. I'm 30+ years older than her. I mean, she was Playboy, Penthouse hot. She writes, "Too bad you want someone older, I'd be up for it." My first thoughts were it's a dude, she'll extort me, set me up for a mugging, etc. We talk on the phone for a few minutes. All goes good, got good vibes. I'm like damn, why not. I had her meet me at a restaurant in my town about a 40 minute drive for her, totally expecting her to flake. I go, she's there waiting. Looks just like the pics; 5'7, lean, model-hot. We get a table. She's fun as hell and can carry a conversation. We're having a great time. Despite looking much younger than my age, I'm getting dirty looks from women and "damn, you're the man" looks from guys, lol. I tell her let's go back to my place and I'll make drinks. We go and I set us up with margaritas. I ran my usual couch--drinks--chat--take the drink out of her hand--make out--lead her upstairs game. I tell her to strip down and I'll be right in. I come out of bathroom and she's in matching Calvin Klein underwear, like right out of Cosmo mag. We banged for maybe 30-40 minutes, talk for a bit, and I get her an Uber to go home. She goes.
I'm like, damn. Sometimes s*hit just absolutely falls in your lap and 110% goes your way. Take all the gifts life gives you.