Tell me if I am being ridiculous.

[hellfire45]

My girlfriend has very radical views when it comes to what is ok and what isnt ok to do in a relationship. Tell me if I am being ridiculous here...

Simply I hate night clubs, but she likes them. I dont think she'd cheat on me but we were discussing it and I just dont like the thought of her rubbing her ass into 30 different guys crotches. I mean that isnt that ridiculous is it? I think its a matter of principles and morales. It's not the right behavior for someone in a relationship.

She also told me her last boyfriend was ok with her making out with another girl in the backseat while he drove the car. This is something that I think is so far over the line...and crazy....to be frank. That is unacceptable. She'd be gone so fast if she ever did anything like that.

But about the former point. Am I just being too uptight? or am I right that its wrong for her to do. I think i'm right.

 

[hellfire45]

In fact I know I'm right. She tells me she feels like I'm controlling her which isnt something I want to do. However, there are lines that can be broken. I dont care even if she told me about it first, it's still cheating to make out with somebody else, guy or girl. Her last social group was a bunch of theater people and they are all crazy...and waaayy too open.

Give me some input here.

 

[Jack McCrack]

For a man who knows he's correct, you sure are rationalizing a whole lot.

 

[BigOlePappy]

Sound insecure to me. You might not be, but thats how it sounds.

 

[hellfire45]

Maybe I am alittle insecure. It just feels like id like to hear a few other people agree with me. I mean I'd never go grind on another girl at a nightclub. I think it shows disloyalty.

 

[piranha45]

So far it sounds like she's a real freelancer that's just going to keep you around for a little while, until the next guy catches her fancy. don't get too attached. she's probably been inwardly mocking your rules, regulations, and standards from the start. get all the sex you can from her, while it lasts!

 

[Oldboy]

I just dont like the thought of her rubbing her ass into 30 different guys crotches.

No, that wouldn't be OK with me. Not if she was my girlfriend.

her making out with another girl in the backseat while he drove the car.

Yes, that would be juuuuust fine. :yes: :rock: :yes:

Seriously, though, she sounds like a party girl just waiting for the perfect moment to break your heart. Enjoy the moment, but don't get too attached, and don't expect it to last. Your values are far too different. - and piranha45 is dead right about her attitude towards and respect for YOUR values.

How did you end up with this girl anyway? You sound like very different kinds of people.

 

[squirrels]

If you're looking for that degree of fierce loyalty, this girl may not be the one for you.

Usually when you hear that line about you being "possessive", it means one of two things:

1) You're too insecure and trying too hard to "tie her down".
2) She's not as committed to you as you think...or doesn't want to be.

Could be a combination of both. Honestly, if I had a girlfriend, I'd be a little leery too about her going to the club without me. That "making out in the backseat of the car" would be cool once in a while, but if she's always getting smashed and making out with her friends, it'd get old for me real quick. But I can't really tie her down either.

I think, personally, that you're at a tactical disadvantage in this relationship because you are more into her than she is into you and you want to commit to her more than she wants to commit to you.

How old are you? I would seriously consider playing the field some (at least as much as the constraints of your relationship will allow). And let relationships and committing come at their own pace, instead of trying to lock down some girl who's obviously still wanting to run wild.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It amazes me why people with seemingly polar personal values and interests continue to get into relationships with each another.

 

[squirrels]

It amazes me why people with seemingly polar personal values and interests continue to get into relationships with each another.

Because they've been taught that being alone is "BAAAAAAAAD".

I'm willing to bet this guy is high-school or college-aged and hasn't been with too many women, so he doesn't have much perspective.

HF, there are other women out there. Don't settle for *A* woman just because she's got a vag!na. That's as "AFC" as not having any women at all. Sometimes moreso.

 

[skip2mylou781]

you can either keep her around, **** her, and let her do what she wants (cheating included)

or

play head games with her, tell her your going to a bar and ur gonna wing for ur friend, and ur gonna have to flirt with girls so he can run his game, see how jealous she gets.......also mentally abuse her alittle bit, push/pull, w/e - u can play 1000 sosuave mind games on her and keep her around, but is it REALLY worth it???

or

just dump her if u feel u are too emotionally attached to only keep her around as a toy for sex

 

[hellfire45]

I'm not really sure. This is a girl who didn't ask me to stay over at her place because she didn't want me to feel forced. She wasn't going to go to the nightclub because she always "does whatever it takes" to please her boyfriend. She has like this fear of being a bad girlfriend. She's not hard to control. I told her she could go after *****ing because I didn't want to feel like I was totally smothering her personality.

The night club I can live with, but anything beyond that and personally, I'd say that this isnt worth it. I mean honestly I almost miss being single. It's such a ******* pain in the ass to deal with women.

I keep telling myself, if you can't trust the girl, then the relationship fails, but I am not really a very trusting person and I don't think I've ever really trusted my girlfriends, so I'm really trying hard with this one.

And for the record, I am 21. and yes, I'm in college.

 

[izza]

That's tough bro. Why don't you just go with her - I mean at least once in a while?

Dancing with other guys, in and of itself, is harmless. More to the point, I've seen a lot of women go to clubs and never dance with anybody but their friends.

If she cheats on you, drop her like a hot potato. If she's REALLY that worried about being a bad gf, she won't cheat on you, right?

Izza

 

[Krassus]

Start liking nightclubs. That's the simplest solution if you love her. If it's not worth it, then tell her that if she's in a relationship with someone who just can't make himself like nightclubs, she has two choices: 1) Do something else and 2) Lose you.