Talking About Moving Things Further

[quietriverrage]

This may be stupid, but it's something I need to do. I have been friends with this chick for awhile now and I really like her alot. A few weeks ago I expressed my feelings to her (probably a bad idea I know) but she basically said she just wants to be friends and not have a relationship. After browsing some threads here on this kind of topic, I see that the usual advice given is to get out immediately and move on. But I want to find out if I have been made a friend permanently or if there is some chance that she would conisder a relationship in the future. How do you go about asking a girl something like this without coming across as a complete loser. I want to know if there is a chance before I get out of it. Because I really like her alot. Thanks for any opinions on this.

 

[Chris Gamble]

Don't tell her you like her. SHOW her you like her by your actions. Go in for a kiss sometime, you will find your answer.

-Chris

 

[spurnout]

I think i'm a girls best friend...or at least i have been in the past when i had a lot more AFC behavior. I could get nearly any girl that was my friend to eventually look at me like a best friend. Once you tell a girl you like them ur ****ed. There is no maybe....just deal with the reality that she looks at you as a friend and move on. I think getting a girl to look at you as a best friend and attracting a girl is realllly similar. It's definetely distinguishable but it's sorta like riding a fine line. Just gotta add a little sexual tension into the mix. That's what worked for me with this girl recently.

 

[quietriverrage]

Thanks for the advice on this. I know how people view "friends" from doing a search and reading some old archived posts, but I just really feel the need to find out for sure if I have no chance. I want to talk to her about it, but at the same time I would just feel like such p****y for doing this. This is one of those situations where I don't just want to let it go and move on. I feel really strongly about this one, more so than all the others.

 

[quietriverrage]

Any other feedback on this? I know I'm being a real **** about this sitaution, and yes, I have indeed succumbed to AFC behavior and one-itis, but this one is just one not worth giving up on so easily, and it just feels like there is a real connect between us. So I guess, for once in my life, I don't feel like one-itis is such a bad thing. It just seems worth pursuing further, even if it does bring out the p***y in me. Normailly, I would probably just move on, but this seems so much different than ALL of the others. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I just can't let go without trying something to move it beyond friendship.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by quietriverrage
This may be stupid, but it's something I need to do. I have been friends with this chick for awhile now and I really like her alot. A few weeks ago I expressed my feelings to her (probably a bad idea I know) but she basically said she just wants to be friends and not have a relationship. After browsing some threads here on this kind of topic, I see that the usual advice given is to get out immediately and move on. But I want to find out if I have been made a friend permanently or if there is some chance that she would conisder a relationship in the future. How do you go about asking a girl something like this without coming across as a complete loser. I want to know if there is a chance before I get out of it. Because I really like her alot. Thanks for any opinions on this.

You have made a friend permanently. Get ready to have long conversations with her over coffee about the guy she's screwing, and what an a**hole he is, of course, she wont mention how hard he makes her come when they do it. And then, her cell will ring in the middle of the conversation, and she will excuse herself, to go be with him. Repeat on a weekly basis.

 

[Pure Drive +]

Give up. She just wants to be friends. you violated Fingz's golden rule about communicating your desires directly.

If you want to get outta the friend zone, SHE'S gotta be the one to do it. You just keep pushing her with conflicting messages, light kino, charm, and then the next day you treat her like a guy friend. Drive her crazy like that and once the kino you give/she returns is up to that level (you'll know it), then go for it.

Too bad you screwed up with this chick though. Time to move on.

 

[Kai]

she told you she wanted to be friends because she is not interested in you, this is a hors way of telling you to f**k of in a nice way. you made a HUGE mistake in spilling out your feelings for her, this sealed the deal for your perminant future friendship with her.

 

[Taser]

LBJF her!

No, no, no, no!

Make the best of a bad situation and change yourself into the prize. You need to LBJF her!

Apologize to this chick for your indiscretion (by hitting on her). Tell her that you value her friendship more than your left nut. Tell her lovers come and go but "true friends" like her come along only once in a lifetime.

Chat up and flirt like hell with OTHER women whenever you're with this chick. Decribe your DJ-ing exploits to her in graphic detail. Ask this chick what it means when a woman leaves her panties in your bed every time. Ask this chick how to handle your #2 girfriend who is far too insatiable. Solicit relationship advice from this chick and ask her for "femine input" on how you can date 4 women simultaneously. Ask her why women have to be so jealous. Describe your perfect mate to her and make sure you describe a very different physical type than the one this chick has.

In short, make it clear that you see this chick as a mere friend. Maybe just maybe, she'll be: 1) curious as to why you don't see her in a sexual way; and 2) jealous that you're directing your sexual energies only at others.

Only one way for her to remedy each of those problems, eh?

Good luck.