Talked to an attorney today

[mrgoodstuff]

The way child support payments are calculated is often times bullsh*t and puts hard working, well intentioned fathers in a position of being unable to pay them. Let's not assume OP is a deadbeat until we have more info.

I'm okay. What I was saying there are a few holes in the calculation . And over the years that adds up.. so for a man that does seasonal work he maybe billed as if he had a full income year round .

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm okay. What I was saying there are a few holes in the calculation . And over the years that adds up.. so for a man that does seasonal work he maybe billed as if he had a full income year round .

The problem is we live paycheck to paycheck, and the cost to have Attourney redo the court order during low pay months is prohibitive. This amount stacks up over the years. For me during many years I went 1-3 months without employment .

 

[btownbuck2012]

No. But I've been through the reamer and I came out on top. Got everything, including FT custody.

Child support has nothing to do with women. Anyone who assumes legal custody of your kid can get it from you, even if it's another man, like an uncle or grandfather or the state themselves.

That's my point. telling someone to be a father in the face of that kind of heinous injustice doesn't make sense to me. A-lot of times guys want to be a good father but can't in this system.

 

[Billtx49]

The problem is we live paycheck to paycheck, and the cost to have Attourney redo the court order during low pay months is prohibitive. This amount stacks up over the years. For me during many years I went 1-3 months without employment .

I was self employed seasonal retail for years and had support payments. Save during the good months…
If the good months aren’t good enough, consider part time work.
Bottom line, if you make kids you’re going to pay whether they live with you or not and they’re more expensive than cars…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's my point. telling someone to be a father in the face of that kind of heinous injustice doesn't make sense to me. A-lot of times guys want to be a good father but can't in this system.

But if you work on it you can get custody.

Probably the most important part to being the good father is taking care of yourself and being financially stable as you can. We also need to create good positive memories with the amount of time we have .

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I was self employed seasonal retail for years and had support payments. Save during the good months…
If the good months aren’t good enough, consider part time work.
Bottom line, you make kids you’re going to pay whether they live with you or not and they’re more expensive than cars…

Agree. They won't come after your part time income and this gives you enough room to be more stable financially.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'm not saying the system is all good here. I know way to many guys who have been through it and got rolled over. It's not good. But it was alimony that killed them, not child support. Every one of these guys I know had no problem paying it.

I had to pay it for a while too. Making six figures but paying only $180 wk for child support. Now that I have full custody, I put out at least 3 times that much every week to take care of my kid. Child support was way cheaper.

I could very well be confusing alimony for child support. If that's the case, my bad.

 

[Reykhel]

Do you work for the court?

he's a father

 

[sazc]

I was a bit confused at @mrgoodstuff original post as well.

How is child support in any way considered "supporting a woman"?

Back child support means she had to come out of pocket for a period of time which, I assume, was taxing for her.

If the attorney actually said/insinuated that the "entire system is looking at HER needs and giving HER preference" during a conversation regarding CHILD support, then that attorney is reading his client, and his CLIENTS beliefs that paying child support is actually creating a lifestyle for the mother, WELL - however erroneous the statement actually is.

The client will definitely be back as the attorney has convinced the client that he (attourney) is on the clients "side". More billing $$ hours for the attorney!!!

 

[Billtx49]

Agree. They won't come after your part time income and this gives you enough room to be more stable financially.

Usually only if the part time is a cash deal…
If you run it through your bank, it’s discoverable.
So it’s gotten to the point that your wages have actually been attached?

 

[sazc]

It sucks that the cost of child support couldn't have been calculated against your true 12 month income and, in that case, take into account the lapse of income during the off months.

I assume she isn't amenable to adjusting the payments based on your income?

Attaching someone's paycheck is normal process in Texas. It's a way to keep animosity down, not necessarily a way to punish someone who didn't pay on their own volition

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm not saying the system is all good here. I know way to many guys who have been through it and got rolled over. It's not good. But it was alimony that killed them, not child support. Every one of these guys I know had no problem paying it.

I had to pay it for a while too. Making six figures but paying only $180 wk for child support. Now that I have full custody, I put out at least 3 times that much every week to take care of my kid. Child support was way cheaper.

It's been half my check over six figs . Plus they nickle and dime you outside child support. Get custody if you can . There's been a few years my kids mother considered me having custody but didn't want to lose support .

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Usually only if the part time is a cash deal…
If you run it through your bank, it’s discoverable.
So it’s gotten to the point that your wages have actually been attached?

This is long ago. If you have a full time job. They use that to base their calculation . See you keep trying to attack me for having back support in the first place. I explained that during periods of not working they are hitting me up like I make over $100k. I'm living tight due to the support and thus can't modify the order for when I'm between employment. And 1-3 month later to do it again . Just don't have the money . I'm not the only one either.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Usually only if the part time is a cash deal…
If you run it through your bank, it’s discoverable.
So it’s gotten to the point that your wages have actually been attached?

I've had two pay stubs and they only want from my full time. This is the courts in Denton TX .

 

[Billtx49]

This is long ago. If you have a full time job. They use that to base their calculation . See you keep trying to attack me for having back support in the first place. I explained that during periods of not working they are hitting me up like I make over $100k. I'm living tight due to the support and thus can't modify the order for when I'm between employment. And 1-3 month later to do it again . Just don't have the money . I'm not the only one either.

I’m not attacking you for anything, but you also sound like you’re paying more than you think you should and had some back payments. You consulted an attorney about it for some reason.
Whatever the problem is, I would personally consult another attorney. Come to down D or FW if you have to. Small town attorneys are not always the best help. Tried one once myself.
Could be wrong, but I think these payment settlements can be redone by the court if the conditions warrant change.

 

[Roober]

I dont know why any man would...

A) date and impregnate a woman with no career or decent source of income.
B) want and receive anything less than split custody of their children.
C) keep a little something (money) on the side

Sounds like you failed on all 3 and choose to blame the system instead of yourself. You even said it, "she felt like I had custody a couple years, but didn't want to give up the support". Why didn't you document everything and take her sorry @$$ to court?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I dont know why any man would...

A) date and impregnate a woman with no career or decent source of income.
B) want and receive anything less than split custody of their children.
C) keep a little something (money) on the side

Sounds like you failed on all 3 and choose to blame the system instead of yourself. You even said it, "she felt like I had custody a couple years, but didn't want to give up the support". Why didn't you document everything and take her sorry @$$ to court?

I wasn't complaining . I was making a point that by default it's all against you. The courts, the system and girl game. With awareness you can have parity and success .

To me it's different heads of the same monster.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

The more custody you have, the less you have to pay.

 

[R.U.G.]

Yea, well my attorney told me a lot of things that were supposed to happen, but they didn't. That is when I took control of the situation in order to get my then wife out of my life. Sadly, when it comes to women and sexual relationships, the books are stacked against men. Thus, we have to be proactive, not reactive. Men need to plan for failure of the relationship, and adjust when and were necessary. I will write a separate post on how a man can protect himself and his assets (based on my experience and New York Law). It can be used as a guide for future relationships. However, for your situation, there are legal ways to reduce child support where it is unreasonable and places you in poverty. IANAL nor do I know your laws or jurisdictions. However, I'd document any medical issues you are facing as well as your financial status due to the strains of the current child support order. You may also want to go pro bono and request the court provide you legal counsel due to the financial strains of fighting the child support order. Consider going to the legal aid society as they can help as well.

 

[Billtx49]

I wasn't complaining . I was making a point that by default it's all against you.

It’s not against you at all. The court has the child’s best financial interest in mind, not yours and only the mothers as it pertains to raising the child properly… It’s the reality of that situation. Don’t blame the court system for the outcome of your own actions.