Tales of the 18 Year Old

[thesynergist]

What a ride. Spent the last 2.5 months dating an absolute knock-out of an 18 yr. old. She worked in the same building as me and had damn near everyone there tell me she wanted me. We'd never said a word to each other, so this was the first time I'd hooked up based on my appearance and carriage alone, which was cool.

I gave it a week, then gave her a call when I knew she was at work. We hooked up later that day for coffee and a trip to the park. She told me she was going away to Xtown on the other side of the state for college at the end of summer. I told her I didn't want anything serious anyway/ just wanted to have fun, so that was perfect.

We went on about 15 dates before she left, alternating between action dates (amusement park, science museum, sex-shops, crazy restaurants, etc...) and hook-up dates at my place.

We actually hooked up on the third date. I asked her if she realised what we were doing could never be anything but a fling, her leaving and all. An hour later she was voluntarilly showing me her ID and we got busy.

Girl was a flat-out wicked lay, really got into it, willing to please and try new things. Total sex-kitten. Without doubt the funnest sex I've ever had.

I played the whole thing to the best of my ability, pushing-and pulling, breaking her balls, not taking any sh!t and keeping her on her toes. Keeping things fast paced and fun.

A couple weeks into it she ST'd me with a LJBF text (we were set to hang out that night). I replied "I don't play that game. If u want to stop hanging out though s'cool.We can just be polite till you leave. Good luck at school". She replied "WAIT!!" A few hours, a couple texts (the gist of which being me saying friendship wasn't a reasonable/ constructive option now that we'd been romantically envolved) and a phone call later we spent the night having crazy monkey sex. She told me she didn't know sex could be like that. He he.

She talked sometimes (moreso in the first month) about other people she was dating (or that she was having lunch with an ex-boyfriend, etc...), to which I always responded indifferently. She'd then make sure I knew she wasn't sleeping with anyone but me.

I knew at her age, with her about to go to school, she was bound to really flake sooner or later, so I just enjoyed the ride. Anyway, as much as I didn't let on, the fact of the matter is I was completely taken with this chick. Physically and mentally she was the bomb. Big age difference, but it didn't seem to matter much at all (other than her having a freakin' perfect 18 year old body).

Things got hot and heavy over the last few weeks, more real affection, even more sex (like 3 times a date a couple nights a week), text messages about how excited she was about where things were going, what was happening, how much she liked me.

After our last date, just before she left, she sent me a text saying she thought she'd fallen for me, and she'd be in a bad state if I didn't get ahold of her after she left.

We kept in touch, and set up a trip to see her a few weeks after she left. Everything seemed to be going well. I'd just assumed we'd fade away once she left..I mean come on! Hot , very sexual 18 year old away from home for the first time at a college full of new guys? Her words aside, I've grown realistic over the last few years, learned a lot here, and despite the fact that I'd fallen for her think I did a decent job of keeping my head on straight.

So I was suprised she wanted me to come visit. I figured what the hell, it wouldn't hurt to keep it rolling if she was down.

THE VERY DAY I was set to leave she texted me saying she didn't think me visiting was a good idea,"I don't know, now is just maybe not the best time". I didn't ask why, just assumed it was done. I just replied "S'cool. We're done. Stay cool baby".

And that was that. My only real question would be: Why did she wait till the VERY LAST SECOND, when everything was in motion and set to go, to say I shouldn't come? Just for a greater sense of drama? A greater feeling of control?

Anyone see some fatal flaw in my actions that I could correct to make myself more successful next time? I know it was pretty much doomed to fade, but has anyone here made something like this work? I'm not going to pursue it at all, I'm done, but if I run into a similiar situation again I guess it couldn't hurt to be better armed. Just plain the coolest fling I've ever had, figured I'd lay it on you guys.

 

[Kenturkey]

hard...

They're so hard to read at that age. It may have even been a test to see if you WOULD get mad that she cancelled that late. To see if you really were interested or just coming to have the monkey sex. I've given up on trying to figure them out at <25 years old.

It IS nice having a young 'un tho. I was 31 banging an 18 year old for seven months. AMAZING sex. Miss that one a lot. She flaked tho. Just gotta expect it, and just look back on the good booty. ;-)

Chris

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Keep up the good work!

 

[Desdinova]

Girls who are under 20 years of age are quite flaky. They're pretty much toss-aways, since they've entered their young adult life, and want to have as much fun as possible before their looks go down the 5hitter. Some of them are smart and settle in their mid-20s, while others party until they look in the mirror, see their decomposing looks, and feel this funny "ticking" inside them.

 

[MacAvoy]

I dated a 19 yr old 2 yrs ago, same thing, everything was goin great, but at that age they don't know what they want. Just like Desdinova said, at that age they are flaky.

Enjoy the memories of having an 18 yr old bod at your age, and do like me, go back for more tastes of that young (legal) fresh meat. Just don't let it go as far. Find a new 19 yr old after a month or two.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I had this happen to me, except it was the Army, not college. She called and called to tell me how horny she was, then when I flew to Texas to see her, she was a b!tch the entire time and I never saw her again. Your girl has the need for closure and the validation that she was the one who ended the relationship. She can't write you off in her head, unless she feels that she was the one who dumped you.

 

[thesynergist]

Thanks for the responses all. In analyzing the last few weeks of the hook-up (once she'd left) I realize I was too available...returning her texts quickly, answering each time she'd call, even talking to her when she was obviously piss drunk and annoying me a bit. Once she was out of reach I reverted right back to AFC mode without even realizing it, supplicating and seeking her approval.

Also, as we were setting up my visit, she dropped what I now see was an obvious ST on me and I didn't even realize it in my reverted state. I'd not met her family in the months we hung out, and she asked me to stop by her home here on my way up and pick up a couple things for her (things of no real import). I foolishly agreed, and moments later she conveniently realise that the items she'd thought she left behind were in a box she'd overlooked in unpacking.

It was silly to agree...like I said, I hadn't met her family, hadn't been in her house, and it was out of my way. It made absolutely no sense for me to agree, but I was in a weak state, missing her, and saw it as a way of gaining further approval/ validation (which is, of course, and excellent way to come off as weak and needy).

All in all though, the whole experience was a freakin' blast and I learned some things during it (the most important of which being the fact that I still gotta lot of improvements to make to my game).

Speaking of which, I just bought The Game last night. Read all but the last 50 pages in one sitting. Wicked book. Highly recommend it...5hit, it's even got a Glossary!

 

[NewMan]

I've got to disagree with you.

She's young and you knew going into it it was going going to last long - there's was nothing more you could do to last this one out.

OK, so maybe you did do a couple of things "Wrong" (whatever that means) - but all in all you were taking care of business (in the sack), showing her a good time and having a sh#t load of fun doing it.

She's in college - perhaps some kind of party came up last minute - who knows, who cares - but now you are out of sight - you will be out of mind - just the way it works with chicks her age.

Having said all of this - I wouldn't count out a meeting further down the line - if she pops back into town you could be someone she'll call.

I think your handling her well - she flaked on you - you didn't lose it - you just said "see ya". Next time she calls, just don't let her get off lightly.

 

[thesynergist]

Text message recieved from her tonight at 12:05 am. he he:

"I miss you so much...I'm so lonely here and can't help but wonder if I have made a horrible mistake"...

 

[manuva]

I hope to god you didn't reply!

 

[thesynergist]

Nope, not a word. How the hell do you reply to that?

 

[joekerr31]

not replying is the best if you really want to just move on.

if you still want to bang it again play up your maturity and her immaturity. something like.

"mistakes are never horrible, they are learning experiences. things always work out as they should. take care"

gotta portray that you've moved on, that she did make a mistake (insinuate this as in above) and that you are thinking of her best interests (comment above sounds kind of helpful, while ultimately pointing out that yep, she f*cked up).

anyway just my 2 cents.
J

 

[thesynergist]

I've got to disagree with you.

She's in college - perhaps some kind of party came up last minute - who knows, who cares - but now you are out of sight - you will be out of mind - just the way it works with chicks her age.

Having said all of this - I wouldn't count out a meeting further down the line - if she pops back into town you could be someone she'll call.

You hit the nail right on the head NewMan. I spent a couple of months out sarging, during which she kept in touch. About a month into that I told her flat out it was bad for me to still be envolved with her (which it was: I was into her, she was away and not down for anything but chatting, and she'd burned me), so we had to stop talking. She was furious but I stuck to my guns for awhile.

She came to town around Halloween, sent me a text saying she wanted to see me. I was spinning that night and said if she wanted to come see the show she could, otherwise no dice. She couldn't so we didn't hook up.

Then around Thanksgiving she was back again. Same message again. We hooked up, spent a couple of nights of passionate monkey sex together, and she went back.

Then came Christmas break. Things got pretty heavy during that time, we started getting serious, she said she loved me. I eventually agreed that I loved her.

Like I said, things got serious. She started talking about moving in together, I started heading to her town to hook up every couple of weeks. It was a lot of fun, as it always had been. Sex continued to be kick@ss, always had fun pretty much regardless of what we were doing together.

She began distancing herself from me again a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure she wanted a spring fling with one of her classmates. We got together, ended up in a wierd holding pattern till she's back for the summer (honestly I had a bit too much emotional investment at this point, handled the whole thing like a bit of an AFC pu55y. Not as bad as the me 5 years ago would have by any means, but I wasn't exactly Clint Eastwood either). So, I'm being distant, ignoring her, out sarging again (and actually killing it, went from being called a jerk and an ******* by an HB6 blonde and an HB8 brunette (with a boyfriend) to getting head from the blonde and making out with the brunette in the same night lol).

So we're toast. She was a hell of a good time (again), but as has been stated plenty of times already in this thread, chicks that age are flaky as all get out. Still...fun fun fun

 

[KontrollerX]

This is my favorite topic that I've ever read on sosuave. :rockon:

I hope someday you and this chick end up together for good synergist lol.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

This is a case study in behaviorism. SYNERGIST keeps the girl at arms length, plays her like an LDFB (long distance fvck buddy) and she can't get enough of him. He turns on the emotionalism and the "I Love Yous" (at Christmas time no less), ups the frequency of seeing her and it's Game Over. Classic behaviorism.

SYNERGIST's saving grace is his attitude (spinning plates consistently) and his recognition of where his schema went wrong. Basically he learned from his trial and error; something most AFCs fight tooth and nail.

The AFC will find fault with the girl, the world, how jaded/flakey/screwed up women are, how messed up the whole game is, how women will say they want one thing then behave counter to them, etc. etc. - pretty much anything except questioning their own approach or readjusting their self-perceptions. To his credit, SYNERGIST pulls his ego out of this and profits from it - well done.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

What a ride.

My only real question would be: Why did she wait till the VERY LAST SECOND, when everything was in motion and set to go, to say I shouldn't come? Just for a greater sense of drama? A greater feeling of control?

Anyone see some fatal flaw in my actions that I could correct to make myself more successful next time? I know it was pretty much doomed to fade, but has anyone here made something like this work? I'm not going to pursue it at all, I'm done, but if I run into a similiar situation again I guess it couldn't hurt to be better armed. Just plain the coolest fling I've ever had, figured I'd lay it on you guys.

Who knows why she did what she did. She probably doesn't even know. You just described my last three relationships with much younger women.. Text messages, flip-flopping, talking about other guys, hot monkey sex, etc:crazy:

Just enjoy the ride. Another one will come along, then you'll know what to expect

The girl I'm seeing now doesn't play these games with me. I know exactly what to expect when we get together, there are no late nite text messages and no sh!t tests. As far as I can tell, she's with me for the sex and to learn.

Cheers!

Eric

 

[Latinoman]

thesynergist - Listen...of some of the experiences shared in this Forum (I have read several), I believe yours is one that I consider was "played" to perfection. You did everything perfectly, IMO. Normal to feel attachment...important thing is taking control of those emotions and being realistic. You considered the odds and went with it with that in mind. I think that was very smart. "If it work...fine...if it didn't...well, we had lot of fun" mentality.

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...18 to 27 might be a big age difference. But 25 and 35 is not.

One last point...that girl is now "damage goods". I seriously doubt she will find a man in her age group that can fulfill her desires like you did.

 

[thesynergist]

:kick:

This is a case study in behaviorism. SYNERGIST keeps the girl at arms length, plays her like an LDFB (long distance fvck buddy) and she can't get enough of him. He turns on the emotionalism and the "I Love Yous" (at Christmas time no less), ups the frequency of seeing her and it's Game Over. Classic behaviorism.

SYNERGIST's saving grace is his attitude (spinning plates consistently) and his recognition of where his schema went wrong. Basically he learned from his trial and error; something most AFCs fight tooth and nail.

The AFC will find fault with the girl, the world, how jaded/flakey/screwed up women are, how messed up the whole game is, how women will say they want one thing then behave counter to them, etc. etc. - pretty much anything except questioning their own approach or readjusting their self-perceptions. To his credit, SYNERGIST pulls his ego out of this and profits from it - well done.

Yep Thanks for the response Rollo. Indeed, it is without doubt a case study in behaviorism. It was funny, I could see myself slowly pushing her away by pulling her too much, but my inner AFC crackhead kept saying "it's ok, she's different". HA! It was like watching myself walk over a cliff, knowing certain death awaited me, but calmly walking onward anyway, sure that THIS time I'd be able to fly. lol.

S'cool. At the core of the experience is the simple fact that the less I openly expected of her, the less I pulled, the more I pushed, and the more casual I was, the MORE she wanted me (I know, that points been beaten dead over an over here again, but this is a real live example of that litany so I figured I'd point it out. It's just plain TRUE).

I can pretty consistantly game like a champ short term...but I got 5h!t in overtime. Anything past a few months and I can't seem to achieve the same push/pull balance, the same jerk/ good guy harmony, or the same discipline that's so simple early on.

 

[ElChoclo]

You played well thesynergist, in a game which you ultimately could not "win". Perhaps it is of some consolation to think of yourself as a kind of horny detached Buddha, who is seeking to master his emotions and himself.

That sounds a bit odd when it is put that way, and not everyone grows up to be a hybrid of Mr Spock and Machiavelli. But why must a man in modern industrialised society be this way. To complain may be AFC, but I ask, is there no room left in the world for resentment? Rhetoric OK.