organizedconfusion
Master Don Juan
i have made a descision...
after thinking about things long and hard, i realised i have been making all up all sorts of reasons why i should'nt start approaching consistantly- like every single day like i should be, in order to get good-no ,better, yet..excellent.
i keep making up excuses , or falling back on my insecurities like 'i'm not ready for a girlfriend' or i need to 'fix' myself more in order to be ready..or the best one of all..'i'll do it later, i feel like crap today'.
dude, i came to a conclusion that the most progress is waiting to be made on those very days...when i feel like closing up, when i feel like going home and 'planning' more , when i feel totally uncomfortable and it's as if all eyes are on me and i walk around like a 'robot' because i am soo stiff from soo much self-conciousness, and i have that little ache inside of me and i feel like tearing up..and i just feel not good enough ..and i just feel scared really..really really scared.
Not soo much of rejection ,but of that feeling you get right before doing the approach..it's a cross between having butterflys in your stomach and that anxious feeling like when you watch a scary movie,when you know that something is gonna happen, but you just don't know when..that anticipation that builds and the tension it creates , and when you go up to the girl all nervous and twitchy and your hearts racing, you're shaking and trembleing...and you blurt out the word 'hi' ..but it comesout more like'HI!'and she looks at you all startled and is all like 'WTF?!' And you stand there like an idiot like 'eeerrrr, duh..'
and the girl is all like 'you're f*cking weird'..
..yes, i am talking about those days...the actions don't freak me out...the thoughts do that run in my mind during those days do.What's the cure then? i know everyone has heard it before ..it's called TAKING ACTION. taking action, which is what i should've did EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAD THAT FEELING , THOSE CRAPPY DAYS WHEN I FELT LIKE 'PLANNING MORE' OR COMING HERE.
I thought about this the other day when i was posting about some stupid a$$ thread about 'the end of the game' and how i got soo worked up about it...dude..i could've been sarging that entire time instead of trying to prove some dumb a$$ point about relationships..I wasted soo much time that day,i was frustrated,angry,bitter about all sorts of things...being online and not with a girl was in fact one of the reasons.
Lying to myself about how i am trying to 'fix' my issues first before i start approaching consistantly, falling back on my reasons why i don't succeed, holding grudges against people that wronged me,becoming angry and bitter about things out of my control.
Basicly acting like a little b*tch , whigning , moaning and complaining about all the reasons why i was alone.
i get to a point where i get soo insecure that i feel as if what's the point to all of this? and i feel like totally giving up and not even trying...how sad is that? it's like i didn't even try to succeed
i'd rather be a little b*tch and give up.
those are the days i could've made the most progress ,because those are the days i needed help on the MOST. when my guard is down, when i am not complety ready , when i am really not as being close to confident or as comfortable as on my good days..those are the days i become better at approaching because those are the days i have trouble with the most, not the good days that come around once in a while and all of a sudden 'i feel like it'.Bad days are the best days to take action and make progress because i feel the most uncomfortable, and if i just say 'f*ck it' and plow on through, theres a chance that maybe in the long run, i'll have less and less 'bad days' and those 'bad days' become good days, then it becomes to a point where i have more good days then bad days..eventually until i have zero bad days.
besides, all a bad day to me really is me stuck inside my head and replaying the same negative thoughts over and over and over again..it's not even based on reality.It's all based on worst case scanarios and what i 'think' might happen. I am not psychic and i have no right to let such thoughts run my life. And as for being self-concious...oh give me a break you big show pony! don't be such a drama mamma, NOBODY CARES! QUIT ACTING LIKE I THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE AND
THAT I AM SOO IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE WILL STOP ,POINT FINGERS, JUDGE ME OR WHATEVER DELUSIONAL THOUGHT I AM HAVING..BECAUSE IT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE..AS A MATTER OF FACT..THEY DON'T EVEN NOTICE ME OR THAT I EXIST!!! QUIT THINKING THAT I AM SOOOOOOOOO IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE NOTICE OF ME!!! BECAUSE NOBODY CARES!! I NEED TO QUIT ACTING LIKE I AM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!
..i am just gonna do it..no more excuses, no more 'one day', no more blaming people or holding on to anger and letting it bring me down..no more planning, no more living inside my head...no more studying and anaylizing or essays written about 'indifferece' or whatever...
i am gonna get off my ass and go out there and TAKE ACTION!!
good day, bad day- i just need to get out there, become comfortable just being in public and feeling 'normal'..
i need to 'just do it'... this time i am gonna do it NO MATTER WHAT.
well, it's been fun y'all -catch you on the flip side ...
after thinking about things long and hard, i realised i have been making all up all sorts of reasons why i should'nt start approaching consistantly- like every single day like i should be, in order to get good-no ,better, yet..excellent.
i keep making up excuses , or falling back on my insecurities like 'i'm not ready for a girlfriend' or i need to 'fix' myself more in order to be ready..or the best one of all..'i'll do it later, i feel like crap today'.
dude, i came to a conclusion that the most progress is waiting to be made on those very days...when i feel like closing up, when i feel like going home and 'planning' more , when i feel totally uncomfortable and it's as if all eyes are on me and i walk around like a 'robot' because i am soo stiff from soo much self-conciousness, and i have that little ache inside of me and i feel like tearing up..and i just feel not good enough ..and i just feel scared really..really really scared.
Not soo much of rejection ,but of that feeling you get right before doing the approach..it's a cross between having butterflys in your stomach and that anxious feeling like when you watch a scary movie,when you know that something is gonna happen, but you just don't know when..that anticipation that builds and the tension it creates , and when you go up to the girl all nervous and twitchy and your hearts racing, you're shaking and trembleing...and you blurt out the word 'hi' ..but it comesout more like'HI!'and she looks at you all startled and is all like 'WTF?!' And you stand there like an idiot like 'eeerrrr, duh..'
and the girl is all like 'you're f*cking weird'....yes, i am talking about those days...the actions don't freak me out...the thoughts do that run in my mind during those days do.What's the cure then? i know everyone has heard it before ..it's called TAKING ACTION. taking action, which is what i should've did EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAD THAT FEELING , THOSE CRAPPY DAYS WHEN I FELT LIKE 'PLANNING MORE' OR COMING HERE.
I thought about this the other day when i was posting about some stupid a$$ thread about 'the end of the game' and how i got soo worked up about it...dude..i could've been sarging that entire time instead of trying to prove some dumb a$$ point about relationships..I wasted soo much time that day,i was frustrated,angry,bitter about all sorts of things...being online and not with a girl was in fact one of the reasons.
Lying to myself about how i am trying to 'fix' my issues first before i start approaching consistantly, falling back on my reasons why i don't succeed, holding grudges against people that wronged me,becoming angry and bitter about things out of my control.
Basicly acting like a little b*tch , whigning , moaning and complaining about all the reasons why i was alone.
i get to a point where i get soo insecure that i feel as if what's the point to all of this? and i feel like totally giving up and not even trying...how sad is that? it's like i didn't even try to succeed
i'd rather be a little b*tch and give up.
those are the days i could've made the most progress ,because those are the days i needed help on the MOST. when my guard is down, when i am not complety ready , when i am really not as being close to confident or as comfortable as on my good days..those are the days i become better at approaching because those are the days i have trouble with the most, not the good days that come around once in a while and all of a sudden 'i feel like it'.Bad days are the best days to take action and make progress because i feel the most uncomfortable, and if i just say 'f*ck it' and plow on through, theres a chance that maybe in the long run, i'll have less and less 'bad days' and those 'bad days' become good days, then it becomes to a point where i have more good days then bad days..eventually until i have zero bad days.
besides, all a bad day to me really is me stuck inside my head and replaying the same negative thoughts over and over and over again..it's not even based on reality.It's all based on worst case scanarios and what i 'think' might happen. I am not psychic and i have no right to let such thoughts run my life. And as for being self-concious...oh give me a break you big show pony! don't be such a drama mamma, NOBODY CARES! QUIT ACTING LIKE I THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE AND
THAT I AM SOO IMPORTANT THAT PEOPLE WILL STOP ,POINT FINGERS, JUDGE ME OR WHATEVER DELUSIONAL THOUGHT I AM HAVING..BECAUSE IT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE..AS A MATTER OF FACT..THEY DON'T EVEN NOTICE ME OR THAT I EXIST!!! QUIT THINKING THAT I AM SOOOOOOOOO IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE NOTICE OF ME!!! BECAUSE NOBODY CARES!! I NEED TO QUIT ACTING LIKE I AM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!
..i am just gonna do it..no more excuses, no more 'one day', no more blaming people or holding on to anger and letting it bring me down..no more planning, no more living inside my head...no more studying and anaylizing or essays written about 'indifferece' or whatever...
i am gonna get off my ass and go out there and TAKE ACTION!!
good day, bad day- i just need to get out there, become comfortable just being in public and feeling 'normal'..
i need to 'just do it'... this time i am gonna do it NO MATTER WHAT.
well, it's been fun y'all -catch you on the flip side ...
