Taking a break from dating/women Need advice/insight

[goodganji44]

What's up DJ's,


I've suffered a long road of AFC'ism and have spent the last several years on trying to improve. However, I've been in back to back relationships with HPD and BPD's combined. So yeah my mind got fvcked up. I thought I was strong, but obviously I needed some work to do on myself.

At this point I have a severely jaded viewpoint on women at this point. As every woman I see, no matter how beautiful they are is nothing more than another object that's waiting to manipulate the next fool she'll allow to. I can't take no woman seriously at the moment.

I'm cognizant of the fact that this isn't a healthy state of mind to be in. So I decided to take an indefinite break from dating and focusing on myself and myself alone.

In doing so, I found a new oneitis. The gym. Working out has given me a new set of confidence that I've been trying to find for years. Usually I work out 5 days a week. Sometimes getting two-a-days in if I can find the time.

I'll be paying off my vehicle in a couple weeks and I'll be purchasing a duplex in the next few months. Have a trip to Japan planned later on the year. So I feel it's imperative to focus on that first before any broad who's just trying to milk away my time.

Ironically enough...I've been getting more stares and submissive looks from women at random places I go to. Even though I'm not really interested in anyone at this point.

Anyway, my question to you guys is..Has there been a point in your life where you completely took a step back from women/sex?

What helped you guys get over the hump and what differences did you guys see in your results when you decided to get back in the game??


Any advice would be much appreciated!!

 

[backbreaker]

bro i've been exactly there. i wish more guys would go there it would solve a lot of problems we have here

a lot of guys use women to try to fix things that are internally wrong. you reconize that you are broken and need to be fixed and you want to fix you first. that's a really good thing.

i went 2 stints without women. one for business reasons for 3 years. one when i was recovering from drug addiction about 7-8 months.

after a certain amount of time i mean, you still find women attractive,k you still think about women but the urgency to HAVE to have one just leaves. that's a good thing. that's a thing a lot of guys on this forum never have just accecptance and patience.

you are ahead of the game even though it may not seem like it now. i remember in that three year period i felt i would never get laid or that the amount of work just to get a date would be ungody but when it was time for me to get back out there i was beating them away with a bat.

 

[backbreaker]

bro i've been exactly there. i wish more guys would go there it would solve a lot of problems we have here

a lot of guys use women to try to fix things that are internally wrong. you reconize that you are broken and need to be fixed and you want to fix you first. that's a really good thing.

i went 2 stints without women. one for business reasons for 3 years. one when i was recovering from drug addiction about 7-8 months.

after a certain amount of time i mean, you still find women attractive,k you still think about women but the urgency to HAVE to have one just leaves. that's a good thing. that's a thing a lot of guys on this forum never have just accecptance and patience.

you are ahead of the game even though it may not seem like it now. i remember in that three year period i felt i would never get laid or that the amount of work just to get a date would be ungody but when it was time for me to get back out there i was beating them away with a bat.

 

[goodganji44]

bro i've been exactly there. i wish more guys would go there it would solve a lot of problems we have here

a lot of guys use women to try to fix things that are internally wrong. you reconize that you are broken and need to be fixed and you want to fix you first. that's a really good thing.

i went 2 stints without women. one for business reasons for 3 years. one when i was recovering from drug addiction about 7-8 months.

after a certain amount of time i mean, you still find women attractive,k you still think about women but the urgency to HAVE to have one just leaves. that's a good thing. that's a thing a lot of guys on this forum never have just accecptance and patience.

you are ahead of the game even though it may not seem like it now. i remember in that three year period i felt i would never get laid or that the amount of work just to get a date would be ungody but when it was time for me to get back out there i was beating them away with a bat.

It definitely doesn't feel like Im ahead right now lol. However, ever since I got back into the gym. I realize how many dudes around me DONT work out. That alone gives me a huge advantage over other ppl. Just knowing they're too busy chasing women whilst ignoring their own physique gives me the edge I need to continue.

 

[goodganji44]

Sounds to me like you should be dispensing with advice rather than asking for it.

We all need a break from women. I'm on one now (although I stumbled into an approach the other day). In fact I'm trying to save money, get into shape, and prepare for a trip next month. That and figure out what to do with my life.

Thank you sir.

I'm just a guy who's trying to piece his life together like you as well and came to this site for some help. Been skimming through this site for the past few months and the material here has helped me identify things that were terribly wrong with myself.

I definitely do have some experiences that I would be more than happy to share on here that I hope others can learn from. But I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not where I want to be.

My oneitis for 10 years on and off is what brought me here. I finally cut her off after calling her out on some crap and initiated hardcore NC even though it hurt like hell. Everyone on oneitis' side of the family supported what I did. Which I thought was weird as hell.

Recently she hacked into her sister's FB page and changed her profile pic to a pic of only her (oneitis) and started sending me invites/pokes and all that crap. Oneitis and her sister used to hack each others FB page all the time when I was around. Even though I try my best to deny it(and still do),It's a good possibility she has been through my FB trying to feed some curiosity I suppose. The thought of me knowing there's a good possibility that she's been going through my FB page on some spy sht irked the sht out of me....

Disabling oneitis sister's post on FB wasn't enough I guess, so I did what I had to do....deleted her off my FB.

Unfortunately for me, I still have one last connection to oneitis that I can't get rid of for business purposes. Her nephew records at my recording studio and he tends to give out updates on how she's doing. I haven't seen him since the day he told me about oneitis new boyfriend and I shortly struck her with NC, before she could do it to me.

I stopped by at the studio earlier this week to check on things and I saw his car parked. I immediately drove off and hit the gym hard on a productive, rage-induced workout. Part of me felt like a coward for not even having enough fortitude to stop and speak, but man fck all that. NC till I die..

Combine not spinning plates at the moment and the situation above got me thinking about oneitis again and I fcking hate it. Feels like I just dumped her all over again and I'm going through the motions of fcking emotions.


Looking forward to hitting the gym before work tomorrow.....

 

[PeakIV]

What's up DJ's,



At this point I have a severely jaded viewpoint on women at this point. As every woman I see, no matter how beautiful they are is nothing more than another object that's waiting to manipulate the next fool she'll allow to. I can't take no woman seriously at the moment.

I'm cognizant of the fact that this isn't a healthy state of mind to be in. So I decided to take an indefinite break from dating and focusing on myself and myself alone.

Could have written this myself, step one I took the red pill.

step 2. I fixed myself and went lonewolf for 18 months, have become independent and earned a shed load of cash. everything is paid for and I work for myself so I am the only boss I answer to.

The only thing worrying me at the moment is I feel so independent that I have absolutely no interest in women whatsoever and regard them as something to be kept at arms length much like drugs or gambling.....

I don't know if this is permanent or temporary?

It was a BPD nutcase that brought me here just like you.....maybe it affected me so much it has changed my mindset permanently?

 

[sharkbeat]

Yes, I too have been in a similar situation. Coincidentally, it was also right around after my crazy ex.

I could no longer tolerate women games, playing hard to get, too busy to date, and all that. One sign of sh!tgames, I immediately striked her out. It was a bit too extreme, and I probably could've gotten some if I had laxed a bit. But the thought of women could get away with anything, and any sign of her trying to make me jump through her hoops just infuriated me at that point.

I also needed to purge the memory of my ex. So, this lasted for like a year? As you had mentioned, I also had similar experience that some women starting to have interest in you. One time, somebody tried to AMOG me in front of a stripper, I just looked him back in the eye, smiled back at him with that "you are a dumbass, you have no idea what I'd have done to you if I ever get pissed" look, and didn't say anything. The stripper proceeded to kiss me.

I have not even decided to get back in the game actively, but that doesn't mean that I don't get dates. I do my things, and ask women out as I go, but I'm no longer out in clubs trying to do pickups and all that. Those days were gone for me.

 

[backbreaker]

this post made me remember something

when i was 21 and i had gotten back in the game so to speak. i went on my first date around June and this was around August when this happened I was in tip top shape, finances were hella right, own crib, nice wardrobe

I had so many plates around august I remember girls coming over my house and basically asking me to fvck them and i woudl LJBF them because i just had too many. i remember one day i wsa hanging with my boys it was a sunday and a girl i really did like popped up over my house and kicked it with me and i got another call from another girl and she wanted to see me and i got another call from a girl that wanted to hook up and then later that night i got another call and i remember looking at my best friend and saying dude, all these women want to fvck me and i'm getting tired of it, i'm tired of all these shallow ass women. and my friend had this look in his face like really lol? you're compianing about swimming in *****?

that's one of those good problems. that's where you are going

 

[SecondHalf]

What helped you guys get over the hump ...

Intentional pun or not, it made me laugh!

I've went on "sabbatical" a couple times. First time for a year, then next for 8 or so months.

I used the the time to gain back a bit of weight and get in better shape. What I found is that the fact that I wasn't interested in women, seemed to attract them a little. It just gets easier when you're not seeking.

Missing the women does decline some as you distance yourself from from them and get more involved with yourself.

SH

 

[49au]

I'm about to enter into one of those phases right now.

I've never been in worse shape, though I'm still lean, I've lost about 15lbs of muscle mass, and my cardiovascular fitness is total sh!t. It decreases the quality of sex, and my overall well being in general.

Got a ton of challenges to face with my business, going through significant personal changes and maturing, dealing with burnout, etc.

Maybe I'll come back in 6 mos a more fit, wealthier, centered version of my current self, and fvck with even hotter women than ever before.

It's also good to get away from them so their crazy doesn't infect you, so you can focus on the things in life that give you real peace. I recently spent a week in a foreign country, and while I talked to some women, I didn't try to get laid at all. Instead, I learned a completely new culture, had some aha! moments, truly relaxed, and came away more rounded. Oh, and it was cheap.