Taking 6 Mth Break From Women

[Tenacity]

I think I'm about to just take 6 months away from dating, dealing and managing women for right now. Since about March of 2010, I have been on consistent dates, gathering new numbers, getting new lays, etc., and I'm just honestly tired. My mental health is tired.

- Throughout all of those women I met, none of them were even quality short term relationship material.

- They all had something majorly wrong with them where it's either their weight issues, bad finances, too many kids, gold-digger attitude or they display mixed signals like hell.

- I never truly GOT anything from them, other then their time and some sex. I never truly felt like I was loved, appreciated, desired, anything.

I'm just frustrated man. I have gone through a shyt load of women, well over 250 since March of 2010. Not one, NOT ONE, was a quality relationship material woman.

My goal for 2015 is to really get through all of the mental issues that's been bothering me for a long time. That is the issues with my Mother, the Black Community, and with Women.

And I believe that the way to get over these issues is to stop fighting them, and accept things for how they are. And this is how things are:

- The reason these 250 plus women didn't truly go that far, is because they were mostly black, and I'm not considered the Alpha Male label in the black community. I'm not a thug, a rapper, a street dude or anything of the sort. Those guys are the Alpha Males over here, my type is not. So the women I got never really liked me that much anyway, they just wanted some entertainment in terms of a quick lay, free date, etc.

I'm going to take time off from women for at least 6 months, but probably for a year and a half. Any women I deal with will be paid escorts.

When I come BACK into the dating scene, I'm going to focus on Foreign Women and Asian Women. NO more black women. No white women either.

 

[Slickster]

Sounds like a good plan and I wish you luck. From your other thread I still think you need to move somewhere, anywhere else from where you are now. It sounds like you are fishing in the wrong pond. By that, I don't just mean in regards to women.

Do yourself another huge favour and stay away from this site and get out of the manosphere for awhile too. Since your join date you've been one of the forum's busiest posters. Too much of anything is never good for you mind.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

... and I'm just honestly tired. My mental health is tired. ...

....
And I believe that the way to get over these issues is to stop fighting them, and accept things for how they are. And this is how things are:....

I cut out everything except the above 2 items. I get what you're saying about being tired. Hell I have a slightly introverted personality myself and even being overly sociable with people (what most would consider normal) can really exhaust me after a couple of hours.

As for the second part, remember this for a long time. This small bit of what you posted is something many people go their entire lives never figuring out. There are always ideals we strives for, things we'd like to do to make the world a better place and on and on. But a reasonably intelligent person makes observations about what actually works in our world today, right now. Usually, it isn't pretty and its downright harsh, but it's just the reality of how things work right now. This is especially useful for anyone in the working world today dealing with typical office politics and networking with others to find jobs, it's who you know not what you know, etc. Stuff like this is never taught in school.


Also, props for going the hooker route. I realize there's plenty out there who claim this is an easy way out or is somehow perverted, but I've never shamed any man for being open and realistic about his situation. You need time off to think and evaluate how to improve, but you've still got needs.

 

[Desdinova]

I totally get it. I've been 7 months without (at least in my mind) being on an official date with a woman with the exception of a few 'first dates'. In the meantime, I've been collecting female orbiters. None of them are worth dating, and I've been hard pressed to find good qualities in ANY of the women I've encountered lately. Their bad qualities show up very early.

One orbiter treats me really good, but I'm not physically attracted to her. However, I ended up fvcking her a week ago just to get laid. Now she's getting all "weird" again, and this is the second time. There's days when I kinda want to just settle and keep her around, but I don't have an easy time looking at her in the face because I don't think she's attractive.

I've got a date tomorrow night with a woman whom I actually find somewhat attractive. She's no model, but I can see myself willingly fvcking her. I'm lowering the physical appearance attribute a bit so I can actually get someone I can enjoy being around. I'm just fvcking tired of the low quality bytches that I've been dealing with. I don't need that anymore.

The way I see it, I'm not going to bother living with any woman unless she really proves herself to me. If she sticks with me for 10 years or more, then I'll consider living with her. If she has no desire to prove her loyalty and dedication, then she's not worth sharing my life with.

So yeah, take yourself a break just to re-evaluate things and get all that anger and frustration out of your system. I think I'm beginning to settle into the reality of today's women, and I'm working at coming to terms with it. It's not an easy pill to swallow, but I think true acceptance is on the horizon.

 

[Tenacity]

Thanks for the responses guys. Lol, funny, I just had a chick I was talking to tell me that because she found out I watch TOMMY SOTOMAYOR on Youtube, that we can no longer date/talk.

I shyt you not. Because I watch some random dude on Youtube that she doesn't like, I have to lose her number, never contact her, never come by, etc., anymore.

This is the dumb shyt I'm talking about that just has my mental health, anger and frustration issues with women at an all time high. Literally, there was nothing else wrong with our engagement. She finds out I watch a Youtube Personality and the bytch tells me to kick rocks. Walt Disney could not make this shyt up.

I know it's time to take a break from these stupid a.ss people because the anger is building up to a point I'm going to SNAP and blow these bytches up in a minute. I'm serious. From just the lack of loyalty, inconsistent shyt, the WASTE of money/gas I spend showing these people a good time for them to just cut me off cause I watch a Youtube video, to their worship of THUGS but hatred of Black conservatives, to the bullshyt with my Mother....dude I'm about to fvcking SNAP and kill a bytch.

So it's time to step away from these bytches because I can't take it no more. I can't.

 

[Warrior74]

Thanks for the responses guys. Lol, funny, I just had a chick I was talking to tell me that because she found out I watch TOMMY SOTOMAYOR on Youtube, that we can no longer date/talk.

I shyt you not. Because I watch some random dude on Youtube that she doesn't like, I have to lose her number, never contact her, never come by, etc., anymore.

This is the dumb shyt I'm talking about that just has my mental health, anger and frustration issues with women at an all time high. Literally, there was nothing else wrong with our engagement. She finds out I watch a Youtube Personality and the bytch tells me to kick rocks. Walt Disney could not make this shyt up.

I know it's time to take a break from these stupid a.ss people because the anger is building up to a point I'm going to SNAP and blow these bytches up in a minute. I'm serious. From just the lack of loyalty, inconsistent shyt, the WASTE of money/gas I spend showing these people a good time for them to just cut me off cause I watch a Youtube video, to their worship of THUGS but hatred of Black conservatives, to the bullshyt with my Mother....dude I'm about to fvcking SNAP and kill a bytch.

So it's time to step away from these bytches because I can't take it no more. I can't.

Why are you so caught up on the black community and black women and what they think? I seriously don't get it. It looks like self loathing to be honest. I'm a black man, I'm not a liberal ( I don't consider myself a conservative either, I'm pro-me first). I've been where you are. But I understand that I was born middle middle class (not upper or lower middle class) and I have middle class values that most lower class people don't share. I don't hate them for it, and I don't expect them to love me for it.

I date women who act the way I expect women to act. There are undesirables in all races. I don't get mad when lower class people and I don't see eye to eye. In fact they hardly ever know we don't see eye to eye because I follow the rule of thinking as I like and keeping my business to myself.

The black people I associate with are college professors, business owners, actors, singers and musicians (usually jazz or rnb). I don't discuss politics, gender politics or racial issues in real life. I don't hang out with people of any race who are not in my economic social class besides a few old friends. I limit my time with them as all they do is smoke pot and play video games. I live my life for me.

You seem to live your life for the opinions of others. You also seem to suffer from the black conservative special snowflake syndrome. Like you deserve a cookie for not being like the masses. Nobody cares. Not being like the masses just puts a target on your back. Racist conservatives just want to use you to clean up their image, liberal blacks just want to use you as a judasgoat. It's better to move quietly and opt out of that game. You aren't special, you're just setting yourself up to be a victim that nobody will care about at the end of the day, neither side will morn your loss.

You are right about one thing. You won't be an alpha for low class women. You won't be an alpha for most black women. You will get a race card alpha pass from white women until they see the little whiney bytch inside you that you present here. And you are not an alpha to yourself. You desire recognition for your specialness instead of desiring goals for yourself. Who is more alpha? The guy who says, I want 100k in the bank and I will have it by any means, or the guy who says, I'm educated and smart why don't black women like me? I know which one I would pick.

You do need a break. You need to delve deep into where all of these neediness is coming from and try to fix it. You need to make a vow to stop complaining and start doing. I'm in the middle of my monk mode and I'm about to go back to it, so I wish you good luck young brother. Let that race **** go, find your mission and go for what you want out of life.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I think I'm about to just take 6 months away from dating, dealing and managing women for right now. Since about March of 2010, I have been on consistent dates, gathering new numbers, getting new lays, etc., and I'm just honestly tired. My mental health is tired.

- Throughout all of those women I met, none of them were even quality short term relationship material.

- They all had something majorly wrong with them where it's either their weight issues, bad finances, too many kids, gold-digger attitude or they display mixed signals like hell.

- I never truly GOT anything from them, other then their time and some sex. I never truly felt like I was loved, appreciated, desired, anything.

I'm just frustrated man. I have gone through a shyt load of women, well over 250 since March of 2010. Not one, NOT ONE, was a quality relationship material woman.

My goal for 2015 is to really get through all of the mental issues that's been bothering me for a long time. That is the issues with my Mother, the Black Community, and with Women.

And I believe that the way to get over these issues is to stop fighting them, and accept things for how they are. And this is how things are:

- The reason these 250 plus women didn't truly go that far, is because they were mostly black, and I'm not considered the Alpha Male label in the black community. I'm not a thug, a rapper, a street dude or anything of the sort. Those guys are the Alpha Males over here, my type is not. So the women I got never really liked me that much anyway, they just wanted some entertainment in terms of a quick lay, free date, etc.

I'm going to take time off from women for at least 6 months, but probably for a year and a half. Any women I deal with will be paid escorts.

When I come BACK into the dating scene, I'm going to focus on Foreign Women and Asian Women. NO more black women. No white women either.

You can be an athelete. So get your body on point. Women will see that and give you all types of love they give these other men you call the Alpha males.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Why are you so caught up on the black community and black women and what they think? I seriously don't get it. It looks like self loathing to be honest. I'm a black man, I'm not a liberal ( I don't consider myself a conservative either, I'm pro-me first). I've been where you are. But I understand that I was born middle middle class (not upper or lower middle class) and I have middle class values that most lower class people don't share. I don't hate them for it, and I don't expect them to love me for it.

Yes. I think our friend is caught up on what people who are primarily hood think. These are the types he was targeting and left out a entire group of women that don't think it's enough eligible black men.

It's nothing to ***** about, accept it for what it is and choose to diversify, so you cannot target this "lower" class of woman make it your priority.

I date women who act the way I expect women to act. There are undesirables in all races. I don't get mad when lower class people and I don't see eye to eye. In fact they hardly ever know we don't see eye to eye because I follow the rule of thinking as I like and keeping my business to myself.

Class is a real thing and it's not about color, it's about education and money. There are women with the exact same complaints as you. To them if you got rid of your *****ing and complaining you would be made of gold.

The black people I associate with are college professors, business owners, actors, singers and musicians (usually jazz or rnb). I don't discuss politics, gender politics or racial issues in real life. I don't hang out with people of any race who are not in my economic social class besides a few old friends. I limit my time with them as all they do is smoke pot and play video games. I live my life for me.

This is how it has to be. 90% of time spent around people with common values and 10% or less spent with other. If you do not you will have problems and your identity will become distilled.

You seem to live your life for the opinions of others. You also seem to suffer from the black conservative special snowflake syndrome. Like you deserve a cookie for not being like the masses. Nobody cares. Not being like the masses just puts a target on your back. Racist conservatives just want to use you to clean up their image, liberal blacks just want to use you as a judasgoat. It's better to move quietly and opt out of that game. You aren't special, you're just setting yourself up to be a victim that nobody will care about at the end of the day, neither side will morn your loss.

Nobody cares. Get in where you fit in. Stop being a victim. Take an active and productive role in improving your life.

Most of your problem is the wrong social outlets and you are using the wrong people for affirmation.

You are right about one thing. You won't be an alpha for low class women. You won't be an alpha for most black women. You will get a race card alpha pass from white women until they see the little whiney bytch inside you that you present here. And you are not an alpha to yourself. You desire recognition for your specialness instead of desiring goals for yourself. Who is more alpha? The guy who says, I want 100k in the bank and I will have it by any means, or the guy who says, I'm educated and smart why don't black women like me? I know which one I would pick.

They are going to pick the guy who is going to put $100k in the bank. WIll he be an alpha for more business minded black women?

He will be an Alpha for white women and other races as long as his body and presense is on point.

You do need a break. You need to delve deep into where all of these neediness is coming from and try to fix it. You need to make a vow to stop complaining and start doing. I'm in the middle of my monk mode and I'm about to go back to it, so I wish you good luck young brother. Let that race **** go, find your mission and go for what you want out of life.

Break the cycle. Stop complaining, take an active role in your own life. Change what you can change.

 

[guru1000]

...I just had a chick I was talking to tell me that because she found out I watch TOMMY SOTOMAYOR on Youtube, that we can no longer date/talk.

I shyt you not. Because I watch some random dude on Youtube that she doesn't like, I have to lose her number, never contact her, never come by, etc., anymore.

Either YOU will be entitled or the woman will assume this role. This quoted exchange indicates that the women held the frame; her sense of entitlement trumped yours. Result of a weak frame. No woman would try such a maneuver if you held a strong frame, irrespective if you were watching Smurfs cartoons.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've taken a permanent break from dating. Now I just fvck. Dating is for suckers.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why no love for the white chicks?

I was wondering the same thing. Tenacity, Is it because you don't find them attractive? Not to say that white women are the best, just wondering why set such a drastic limitation. It sounds a lot like the thing that the people who cause you so much angst would do.

Personally, I limited myself from dealing with women who were one sided, limited thinking, angry at men, self destructive and unappreciative regardless of race. Now that did limit the pool of certain distinct cultures and ethnicities but it never eliminated any one pool entirely.

It reminds me of something I read online a while back by some angry black guy who said he would never eat a Chinese restaurant because Chinese women will not date black men; I kid you not, the guy was serious. He wouldn't consider that possibly that certain Chinese women won't date guys who come off as thugs.

Anyway, I just think that type of thinking is comical, not that people shouldn't have preferences, but there is a distinct difference between preference and prejudice. I just never found much fulfillment by instilling self limiting mores.

 

[ZTIME]

I tried not dating for some time last year, I think I made it 3.5 months. Then when I started dating again, I was getting frustrated at the lack of quality women that are available out there. So what I did was change my expectations of what I needed from them.

I think after my original story that I just needed to get away from anything serious. Now I just try to look at it as fun. I will say though that the more you're emotionally unavailable, the more chicks are going to try to get you emotionally invested.

I've been hanging out with this one chick that truly is a "cool cat". She's a high 8 with a great personality. We have a lot in common (music, personality, and life views) and spend about 2 nights a week together. Since my break-up, she is by far the best chick I've been with.

Here's the problem; She wants a committed relationship, and I'd rather be committed before giving in to that situation. I tell her all of the time that I'm truly not in a place right now to offer that type of commitment. She is persistent though.

Tenacity, my point is that right now I don't even know if I'm right or wrong about the situation. I've just been so beat up by women for the last few years (my fault I allowed it to happen) that I don't want anything from them.
I'm not angry and raging like you, I'm just jaded.

Long story boring............I get where your coming from! It's a good thing to take a break every once in awhile.

 

[Tenacity]

Guys, I wanted to thank you again for these responses, in this thread and the other ones. So I have come to a conclusion and here's my plan going forward:

- I'm not doing any more dates, approaching any more women (online or in person) and not communicating with any women (other than for professional/business purposes) until January 2016.

- During the break, I'm going to be making a number of changes. I will of course continue my career/business aspects, but I will be continuing my workout sessions to get my tonality in more, I will go totally bald, and I will totally eliminate all of the negative aspects of my "persona" including the need for external validation, bitterness, anger, frustration, trying to fit in, etc. All of this shyt is GONE by January 2016.

- Also during the break, I will create new ways of meeting women and the types of women I'm going to target. In looking back over these last couple of years, I can honestly say the VAST MAJORITY (over 98%) of the women I was engaged with were from the lower class. I would say the average income of the women were about $24,000 - $34,000 a year. And when you add in the fact a lot of these chicks had 1 - 3 kids (as a single mother with little help from "dad"), that puts them at or near poverty level. Now mind you, I have been in the Middle Class making over $70k per year since 2010.

- So I CLEARLY have been dating from the wrong group of women and I think it comes from me growing up in Flint, MI because it was all I seen and I also felt the need to PROVE SOMETHING. I have been out of Flint and stay in Sterling Heights/Clinton Township, MI which is an upscale suburb area. However, I believe I have been picking these women because they resembled the women growing up that perhaps I COULDN'T get before (I was broke or too nerdy or whatever) but now that I had some money, personality, good looks, etc....NOW I was able to finally pull these chicks and guess what? I pulled them. It was drama, bullshyt, a headache, and all that shyt along the way, but I pulled them. So in that case, I didn't lose, I WON.

- I will be fvcking during this break, but it will be escorts only.

- When the break is over, my target is only women who make over $50,000 a year and who are college educated. If she is a single mom with 1 kid, $50k is enough, but if she has 2 or 3 or 4 kids, she better be making damn near $100k or it's not going to fly with me. After going through all of this, I believe the level of income of the woman directly translates into her QUALITY as a relationship partner.

- All races of women are going to be my target including Foreign, Asian and White Women. But I know with the new criteria, the majority of women are now going to be non black because most black women will NOT fit this criteria.

- Also, the entire "black community" rants, arguments, debates, discussions, are OVER. Also I will no longer refer to myself as a Black Republican or a "Black" anything. I'm a Republican. I'm a Man. I'm an American.

- My decisions on not making kids and not getting married are still final, because they do not have anything to do with black women or lower class women per say, they are issues with the Family Court System and the laws themselves. The Vasectomy is going to get done here before the end of the 2nd Quarter (end of June). I have been shopping around providers as my insurance covers a portion and I will pay for a portion.

You guys might not see as many posts from me on this forum during this time. I'm going to be spending a lot more time with my career/business aspects. My career is looking UP and continuing to go UP. I'm also shifting into more responsibilities, selling more advanced products, doing more journalist writing for my industry, etc.

My journey has mainly been to iron out the wrinkles of Tenacity so I can be a complete man. And on 5/21/2015, the journey now has officially begun and the light at the end of the tunnel is shining in my direction.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I demand a write-up of the escorts you take for a test drive in your area. It'll probably take a few to find 1-2 you like and develop some repoire with them; most will probably be rushing you to get it over with.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Just a comment:

I swear the last 4 hottest white women I've seen in public in the past 4 months were all with black guys...I mean there are a lot of hot women around but these were 10's that really stood out.

What "type" of black guys where they with? The hood type, or a educated business type. Perhaps they were former college atheletes still well built, great physical game, sharp dressers lots of confidence and intelligent.

 

[Tenacity]

When I come off my break, I'm going to be dating all types of women but they are going to have to fit particular financial/educational categories. I do believe based on that new criteria, they are overwhelmingly going to be non-black women.

I'm actually excited about this, everything happens for a reason and there's a saying that goes something like a "closed door" equals an "open door" somewhere else.

Maybe this has been God trying to tell me the entire time that there was a better social group and dating group of people out there, because I was foolishly limiting my dating pool to black women.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

When I come off my break, I'm going to be dating all types of women but they are going to have to fit particular financial/educational categories. I do believe based on that new criteria, they are overwhelmingly going to be non-black women.

I'm actually excited about this, everything happens for a reason and there's a saying that goes something like a "closed door" equals an "open door" somewhere else.

Maybe this has been God trying to tell me the entire time that there was a better social group and dating group of people out there, because I was foolishly limiting my dating pool to black women.

A whole new life is about to open for you.

 

[sodbuster]

Good luck on your journey. I agree with the whole Date your class idea....

ONE of the problems this country has is NO ONE has truly ever gone hungry. IF you've HAD to miss a couple meals, because you couldn't afford it? You are one MOTIVATED SOB. IF a woman had to miss a few days meals growing up, she's going to appreciate the working man who WILL put food on the table.... but it really doesn't happen much in our dystopia. Instead, all a man has to do is bodybuild in order to get laid.... food and a roof seem to be guaranteed

 

[Poonani Maker]

Good luck on your journey. I agree with the whole Date your class idea....

ONE of the problems this country has is NO ONE has truly ever gone hungry. IF you've HAD to miss a couple meals, because you couldn't afford it? You are one MOTIVATED SOB. IF a woman had to miss a few days meals growing up, she's going to appreciate the working man who WILL put food on the table.... but it really doesn't happen much in our dystopia. Instead, all a man has to do is bodybuild in order to get laid.... food and a roof seem to be guaranteed

Good point. For the woman, there is no PAIN in basic necessities, even if she's a druggie on the street, she'll have a man providing a roof, food, and clothes. She may get beat up, but she'll have her low life. If she's not whacked out, then she can have an easy road off the gov't t!t, as well as a few orbiting male t!ts that come around. There is no Life n' Death Starvation in this fantasy economy, propped up by the Petro-Dollar.

One thing's for certain, should it ever all go down, I will struggle a bit (as will everybody else), but I will not DIE. I have so many guns, of which I'm proud, and when people come over, I have them lying out in front, in my den and sprawled all throughout the house (not loaded, of course), and they go, "Fvck..." I don't care what anybody thinks, housekeepers, appliance movers, neighbors.