sweet smell of rejection

[TinyFzzyKiwi]

well, called this chick that i got a number from, asked if she wanted 2 play some minigolf this weekend, she said she couldnt. but hey, 1st time actually doing something like this, goin for the # and then calling few days later. At least now im not wasting any time with her, haha. thanks to everyone on this site, especially pook, for the "just do it" quote. Now i got more time for the bootcamp.

 

[Afrodisiac21]

How is this a rejection, she just said she could make it
as gunwitch says "Make the ho say no" in other words keep on persisting. Dont give up after one try, maybe she really was busy.

 

[Dukester]

you dont give up after just once. try at least 3 times.
if you know she has high IL then go for maybe 4, but after that delete the # and move on.

now i know a lot of these guys may disagree w/ me, but this is what has worked 4 me!

good luck

 

[absolutezero]

Dukester wrote:

"you dont give up after just once. try at least 3 times.
if you know she has high IL then go for maybe 4"

If she had high interest level she would have been available. You would not have to "try" four times.She would have either made the date or had a counter offer, end of story.

Interested women are almost always available.

 

[MRomeo99]

That's horsecaca dude. I don't know what type of chicks you go out with, but I like ones that actually have a life that is interesting and fun, much like mine so that we can get together and do fun sh1t when we're together. If she tells me once she can't do something, I don't read too much into it.

You don't kick a chick to the curb because she has something else going on. Now, granted I can't tell much from his description. It really depends on tonality and such. Something that I can't really put in a post. I would call her, just bust on her, have fun, kid around, get her emotional and such. And then invite her to coffee, or a walk by the lake etc. If she said something like "<sigh> I have to bikini wax my grandmother, no thanks.", that's one thing. If she however says, "When?? Oh drat, I can't make it then, I'm getting my implants reinflated. Can we do something later instead?" That's different. So much is in the tonality in the voice. However, you have to build up those emotions, again.

If you call, talk about silly bullsh1t for a few minutes, then ask her out. You'll get flamed. However, if you call, bust on her, get her laughing, tease her, etc. And then come out with "I know we'll probably fight like cats and dogs, but why don't we get some coffee on Sat morning, what time is good for you." That's an easier sell.

Just my opinion.

M

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by absolutezero


Interested women are almost always available.

Yeah but occasionally they have something else to do.

 

[DJ_Dork]

we got some different answers. some of us think that being persistent is good. some of us think that we should only try once.

absolutezero offers the best advice. persistence does work - but only try ONE more time.

think about it boys. if a fugly girl got your digits and tried to setup a date with you, you'd give her excuse after excuse to not go out on a date with her. you just hope she would stop asking you out.

however if some hb8 asked you to meet somewhere, i bet you'd jump right on it.

 

[TinyFzzyKiwi]

makes sesne to me, i was kinda thinking that gotta try at least 1 more time, cus it seemed like she kinda had to go ask her parents if she could or something. so, gotta work on havin some c&f convo stuff with her. get the emotions going.

 

[duke007]

Shouldn't interested women counter-offer?

Just today I asked a girl out and she said she already had plans for that day. So I said, "Now it's your turn to counter-offer" She laughed and promised to call back when she knows her work schedule.

I did well in my phone convo though...I used a really daring c+F line that went down pretty well. She was from the Internet, and when I asked for her number on MSN, she gave it, then asked for my name (I had already told her but she obviously forgot)

So when I called I said, "Do you normally give out your number to guys before you know their name?"

It's line ball but I'm not fussed....boot camp is just starting to wind up!

 

[Afrodisiac21]

Originally posted by DJ_Dork

think about it boys. if a fugly girl got your digits and tried to setup a date with you, you'd give her excuse after excuse to not go out on a date with her. you just hope she would stop asking you out.

however if some hb8 asked you to meet somewhere, i bet you'd jump right on it.

ahh there's your mistake, stop comparing men and women. Women are emotional they change there minds all the time. I may like you but just not feel like going out in that moment, it depends on my mood.

Thats why it's good to game a girl for a while (on the phone or wherever), get her in an emotional state, then suggest a meet, she more likely to say yes. It's not personal when a girl says no, it just means not yet.

 

[xblitz44x]

"ahh there's your mistake, stop comparing men and women. Women are emotional they change there minds all the time. I may like you but just not feel like going out in that moment, it depends on my mood. "

It's no mistake to compare men and women. We're both humans, we're both emotional, and we both work the same way, really. If men weren't emotional, we'd never "like" any girl to begin with. This whole "Women are emotional, men deal with logic" bullshyt is just that; bullshyt. It was contrived by these so-called "Gurus" like David D. who need an answer to a man who says "Well, turn the tables for a second...." he can quickly spit out "Uh well, you...umm, can't do that because attraction doesn't work the same way; yeah thats right". Bullshyt.

If men weren't emotional, then we'd date a girl who is truely 'confident, funny, sane, and honest'. So although we'd LIKE her to be that (just like women would like US to have certain characteristics), if a woman is 'hot' or if we "like" her...we become EMOTIONALLY attached. Yes, just like women.

Back on topic: I DO agree that he should call her a few more times. Maybe she had something to do? Maybe she wasn't sure how to react when you asked her out because she's shy? Who knows? And what do you have to lose by asking again? Nothing. So why not? I think it's time we "DJ's get off our high-horses, put our pride aside and just start using common sense.

-Blitz

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by duke007
Shouldn't interested women counter-offer?

Not always, I've sometimes found the more interested, the more little games they play at first, wanting to get me to chase em a little. I'll chase a little bit, and score in the end. So it's kinda funny. I think maybe they're trying to guage my interest level abit. If I don't score, than my three phone call rule kicks in now.

Life's rough being a 9.5 you know. It makes the insecure ones play games.

 

[TinyFzzyKiwi]

well, definatly gona try again. considering its my first approach since i found this site, im kinda happy with myself, last year, i woulve wasted a whole year getting oneitis over this 1 girl and nvr wouldve done anything. So at least im getting better, just need to work on my convo, especially the C&f part, dont think i used that at all when i talked to her when goin for the number.

 

[MRomeo99]

Another technique I thought of this afternoon while I was re-reading Influence(one of the best books you'll ever buy).

Is once a girl turns you down for something, and assuming she is still interested, then it's almost easier to set up plans because she feels obligated. Let me explain with an example.

You: Wanna go play putt-putt on Saturday? (Damn, I think I just dated myself)

She: I'd love to but I have plans with my family that day.

You: Really?? Well, then you had better buy me coffee and a danish on Sunday morning to make up for it.


The trick is the second request has to be something smaller. It could even be for her to call you. ie.

You: Really?? Well, you had better call me on Sunday to find some way to make it up to me.


The principle is, if you ask someone to do something and they can't, then you ask them for something smaller, then they usually will concede. Another example. If you need to borrow $5, then you start big and end up small. "Hey can I borrow $20? You can't? Oh well, can you let me at least borrow $5 to get me through?" You are about twice as likely to get the $5 as you would have been if you directly asked for it. It's an interesting principle. Read the book, it's awesome.

Influence- Robert Cialdini
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...104-8648564-6295113?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

 

[xblitz44x]

"Is once a girl turns you down for something, and assuming she is still interested, then it's almost easier to set up plans because she feels obligated."

The problem is: I don't want to go out with a girl just because she feels obligated. I want her to go out with me because she is into me.

 

[MRomeo99]

The problem is: I don't want to go out with a girl just because she feels obligated. I want her to go out with me because she is into me.

If you can never get her to go out with you, you never will have a chance to get her to get into you. You'll never have a chance to build attraction by playing phone tag. It takes at least 2-4 contacts with a girl to really get her emotional buying temperature hot where she just can't get you out of her mind.

This will not work if she's not at all interested in you. If she'd rather sleep with a horse head(saw this in another post), then nothing will work. But if she has some level of interest this is one way to make it easier to make that first date. And is really no different than any other technique you might use from here, opening lines, routines, etc.

HTH,

M

 

[Microphone Fiend]

yea she could just be playng hard to get so unless the intital rejection is blatant, then persist. It's kinda like when you are touchin em and they're like "No we shouldn't, don't do that" and you lay off and they're like "Why'd you stop?"

 

[TinyFzzyKiwi]

hmm, not so sure if i want 2 try n go for her anymore, just not sure. dont no why though. maybe i should just keep workin on bootcamp n stuff n go for other girls that i find hot...